you have played (i think) and broken the toys you were fondest of

[psychofailed]

WHO: Kogami and Gino
WHERE: Maurtia Falls #006
WHEN: July 3rd
WHAT: An awkward reunion. Continued from here
WARNINGS: Possibly mild language. Discussion of mental health-related matters might come up.

[...And there it goes. He assumes these are the first in a long line of questions he's going to get, exactly none of which he has the answers to.]

An aura, yeah. It's...passive, from what I can tell. I just--see them, when I look at people. I don't have a choice.

[In other words yes, he absolutely knew from the moment he laid eyes on Gino, but there was so much to talk about he didn't want to overwhelm him by going there until they were in private.]

Comments

[hitsujikai]

[ He seems to have swept it aside for the time being, but in Gino's head the color is the only thing he can see as it ricochets around in his skull, ringing in his ears like a toll, blaring like neon. What can he do in this world without anyone to turn to for advice on caring for it? Kogami isn't exactly an expert on stable hues, and taking his therapists advice and talking to his father hadn't done much good if it's state was anything to go by... There was Akane, though.. Perhaps he should mention something to her. ]

Right. [ He says, disguising how distracted he is with a tighter fold of his arms and a shift of his weight from one foot to the other, as if in thought. So the color hangs around, there's no hiding it, just like it was impossible to hide from the Sibyl System. Kogami had denied being anything like it, and had denied the value being absolute, but it sure felt that way. ] And you said you can't see your own? [ He wonders if that bothers Kogami, if Enforcers feel the need to keep an eye on their hue despite already living through the worst of it. ]

Mmm... I suppose it's not the worst power to have. At least you know what kind of person you're talking to. [ All this and hes still being judgemental? When will this guy take a break. ]

[psychofailed]

[It bothers him a little. Kogami's long since considered himself past the point of no return, a hopeless case, but even when the system gives up on you, it's a little difficult to entirely break ties with it, especially when it's more or less structured your entire life before then.

Not being able to see his hue here, and not needing escort by an Inspector...it means that his judgment is all he has to go on regarding the decisions he makes, and when Sybil has marked you as someone whose judgment is not to be trusted, that's a little jarring, even months later.

He takes another drag of his cigarette, a sigh following on the heels of the exhaled smoke.]

Assuming that what I'm seeing isn't influenced by my own hue, anyway, whatever it is.

[Gino had to see a certain sort of irony to it, after all. A latent criminal with a Hue that's been problematic for years, suddenly the only one able to see others'?]

[hitsujikai]

[ Of course he did, but Gino was too busy stuck in two minds to really pay much attention to it. On the one hand, compared to his own newfound ability, he feels that perhaps he'd rather Kogami's power than his own.. but on the other, he's not certain what effects not being able to check on his hue might have on him. ]

What does Tsunemori's hue look like? [ He asks quickly, and it's not clear if he's asking because it's logical or because he's concerned about the answer. ] If her hue is the same as it always has been, then you should know you're not impacting it.

[psychofailed]

...It's clear, just like at home. But that doesn't mean it's still not clearer than I'm seeing.

[He. Debates on adding more, and then figures he might as well give the Inspector the facts he needs to make his own judgment on Kogami's so-called "powers."]

There's been some strange incidences, too. I met a person whose hue read white once, and then there was someone whose hue kept flickering constantly between colors. He said it was because he didn't possess a human mind, but it was weird.

[hitsujikai]

[ Powder Blue is Powder Blue as far as Gino is concerned. If Kogami hasn't noticed a change, there probably isn't one and honestly it wouldn't surprise him. Everything that should impact Tsunemori, even Kogami's influence, seems not to have the slightest effect on her hue or her confidence. She's adaptable and capable. She's probably settling in fine.

Then he's reminded of the conversation he'd been told to keep quiet, and just as quickly moves it to one side. There's no way he's considering something like that now, let alone discussing it. ]

I'm sure it was, but either way you're the closest thing we have to what we understand.

[ And.. that's a good thing, right? Right? Gino is sure it's more comforting to have Kogami's ability than to be without it.. He's sure. ]

[psychofailed]

I guess I am.

[But then, is that a good thing? After all, he represents more than just the useful parts of the Sybil System, doesn't he?]

...But I'm also a latent criminal. I could be lying about all this, and nobody would know any better.

[He's not, but you have to trust him on that, and he wonders if Gino is ready to do such a thing just because it's his only possible option.]

[hitsujikai]

[ Gino's eyes twitch sharper automatically. It's a possibility Gino hasn't even considered, though typically assuming an Enforcer only spoke in lies wouldn't have been such a strange thing. Aside from being Kogami's handler, he knows the man much more than that, and knows he's not lying... but the implication doesn't go amiss.

He looks at him. ]

I suppose we'll just have to trust you.

[psychofailed]

[It's strange how Gino saying those words is so very different from when Tsunemori had said them, months before--I trust you, Kogami-san. They don't make his gut roil with a heavy unease and a feeling of bittersweet nostalgia for the time when he still had her idealism.

Gino isn't trusting him because it comes easily, or is the first natural response, but because he has no other choice. Which leads him to repeat a question he'd asked earlier in a different context:]

Are you okay with that?

[hitsujikai]

[ Gino does trust Kogami. Even in their own world, he'd look to Kogami's intelligence and experience to guide him when things got tough -- to puzzle out their investigations, to do his job, to keep innocents out of danger -- but comparing the faith that might come from genuine care to something more like the faith an Inspector had no choice but to push upon their Enforcers was another matter entirely.

It might have been lingering from the days when they used to be close and could trust freely, or perhaps it's just Gino clinging on to something he's always in danger of losing. ]

Yes. [ A beat. They are in private now. A little tension leaves Gino's shoulders. What other choice does he have, really? ] I do trust you, Kogami. Whether or not you betray that trust is a different matter, but as it stands here and now.. I do. [ So don't let me down. Again. ]

[psychofailed]

[He doesn't intend to betray Gino's trust, but then, he never did before, either. It's not like he ever meant to become a latent criminal; life just kind of spun out of control after the Specimen Case...trying to take a step back, to take care of his hue seemed so insignificant, so infuriatingly pointless and he couldn't stand it. He didn't know how he could keep moving unless he took Makishima down.

Even now, even here, it's the thing that's kept him moving. He has freedom here, he has so much he can do and learn and experience, but he can only allow any of it as a temporary, fleeting thing, something that could end in a day, or an hour.

To see things otherwise opens up a vast abyss of guilt and shame and regret that Kogami isn't sure he could touch without drowning in it.]

Okay.

[That's all he can really say. He can't promise he won't let him down again, or something won't shatter this fragile accord between them that's lingered despite everything. All he has to offer is that he understands...and in his own way, he's grateful. Gino was his best friend, after all. Kogami acts tough and stoic, but it'd be a lie to say he doesn't miss him, or the days when it wouldn't be so hard to have this conversation.]

...So, what power did you get?

[He does remember Gino seemed kind of defensive about it earlier.]

[hitsujikai]

[ That confirmation doesn't really settle heavy on Gino, or make him feel anything other than the decided conclusion that comes with putting a matter to bed. It isn't often that he doesn't linger at least a little on troubling matters like some strange mode of punishment, but he definitely doesn't want to linger on this.

He shifts at the mention of his power, wondering if he should just show Kogami the file but thinking better of it as he remembers exactly the matters detailed there. It isn't all that personal, really, but it feels it. ]

Reactive Empathy. [ He sounds audibly less than impressed with the name. ] I can.. sense strong emotions in those around me, and take them on myself.

[psychofailed]

[...

Kogami just. Kind of. Stares into the camera like he's on the office in Gino's general direction a bit, then. Puts his finished cigarette out in the ashtray next to his bed, then immediately lights a new one and takes a long drag because y'know what, fuck it. Fuck the Porter, fuck these stupid superpowers, fuck this whole goddamn alternate universe bullshit.

An exhale of smoke later:]

The Porter certainly has a sense of humor, doesn't it.

[He ain't even gonna try to mince words here, they both know that is literally the worst power that Gino personally could ever get. No wonder his hue is fucked.]