maskormenacelogs | [CLOSED] if i couldn't sleep could you sleep? could you paint me better off?

[The address startled him -- Chilton jumped at the whistle, the pitch reminiscent of pristine glass against metal. And to him, the sound of glass sliding into steel provoked imagery of his old cage, his containment and holding cell. Shoulders pinched and neck craning, he threw his head around to see what person addressed him.

The name followed after his feeling: a lightness of head, a skipped heartbeat. He wasn't sure if it was fear or fondness.]

... Raina?

[Unsure yet undaunted, he took a step closer to her vehicle.]

Didn't expect to see you here. Thought you got an early jump at work. Ever the workaholic you are. Did I surprise you?

[ He must have been lost in thought which would explain the flinch and why it seemed to take a moment for him to recover from it. Though, her expression did take on a tinge of concern. ]

Did you eat this morning? You're looking a bit pale. [ Always a nag where his health was concerned. ]

Did I eat this morning?

[He repeated the question to garner grounding; the was almost an absurdity to the normalcy she presented. Snapshots of emotion flooded him -- warmth, hope. He gravitated to her, to those feelings, a moth to a fire.]

I don't know.

[How had he known her name?]

I...

[His mouth twitch -- a nervous tic. The spinal remains of what had once been his broad smirk.]

No.

[ Any mild concern she felt gave way like the breaking of a dam causing horror and alarm to flood into her features. Raina looked past him, almost expecting to see some threat nearby -- someone after him or some sign of an altercation. Had Crane got to him again? Because something was wrong. Something was devastatingly wrong. ]

Babe...?

[ Raina's question was small, barely audible. And then she steeled herself. If something was wrong with Chilton, she had to be the strong one. ]

Get in the car. Get in the car, we're going home.

Why?

[His instinct towards skepticism was nothing personal -- it wasn't like Raina was April Ludgate, callous and cruel. Chilton didn't underestimate the likes of Ludgate -- something that her husband didn't understand -- and that engagement would have undoubtedly provoked violence, even now (especially now), even with Chilton blind to the details of his impulse. He was lucky it had been Raina who found him, he was fortunate beyond his own realization.

But that wouldn't eliminate Chilton's iron-wrought instinct.]

Why are we going home?

[It felt weird in his mouth, to say those words.]

Edited 2016-06-18 03:01 (UTC)

What are you going to do instead? Wander the streets looking lost? Get yourself mugged? Or even worse, kidnapped? You're not acting like yourself and I am worried about you. Get in the car, Frederick.

[ She wasn't about to express her true concerns -- not public as they were. That would wait until he was in the sanctuary of the vehicle. But she did fear Crane had gotten to him again. Of course, there seemed to be a bit more confusion and disorientation than fear and anxiety. But maybe this was a new variation of his drug.

Raina would rather Chilton came of his own volition. But she was ready to use some vines to drag him into the car if necessary. ]

[He pulled his shoulders tightly inwards as he crossed his arms, his mouth a stubborn frown. While even in this state he had residual feelings for Raina, while the memories of her would be the sharpest of any imPort he had met, the formerly incarcerated Frederick Chilton couldn't afford the luxury of compliance.

He held his ground.]

Who would kidnap me? I do not know this place, why would anyone know me?

[ It shocked her to hear those words and for only a moment, it felt like a knife. He did not know this place. Those words cut deep and made her briefly fear the worst -- he somehow ported out and returned without memory. But that didn't make sense. He called her name. He recognized her, even if he was acting strange. Raina didn't have time to check the network and see if this was an epidemic or simply Frederick. She didn't have time to sit back and coax him into the car because she needed to get him someplace quiet in order to figure this out.

Raina turned her head away from him, her lips quivering and a couple of stray tears falling. It hurt to think he couldn't trust her above everything else, but it didn't overshadow what she needed to do. Almost in answer to his 'who would kidnap me,' Raina quietly spoke: ]

I'm sorry.

[ And with those words, vines burst from the ground -- going straight for Chilton's limbs and if he didn't manage to get out of the way in time, they would wrap around his arms and legs. One very politely opened the car door for him with intent for the others to force him onto the seat. ]

What the --

[He did not get out of the way in time. Chilton wasn't expecting a rash of impossibly powerful vines to shoot from the ground up and transfix around him. He was terrified, confused, and barely able to muster enough strength to keep from screaming out -- much less to formulate a plan of escape.

Pushed into the car by this aggressive vegetation, Chilton scrambled into the seat, fetal style. He kicked out at one of the vines, futile in his registration of horror.]

What was that?

[Chilton asked Raina, pointedly, his gaze swung to meet hers.]

[ Once he was in the car, they deposited him pretty comfortably -- retracting at his kicks. One evaded them, wrapping itself around the seatbelt and tugging it as best as it could over Chilton's shoulder, clicking it into place. Then, they were gone -- closing the door and being swallowed into the ground. Raina looked over, meeting his gaze. ]

You really don't remember the powers? You have them, too.

[ Her eyes drifted toward the streets, and she frowned when she saw people gawking at them -- especially when she saw a few people making a call on their cellphones. ]

Damnit.

[ Raina threw the car into drive and slammed on the gas, burning out and doing a U-turn right there -- causing a few oncoming cars to have to slam on their brakes and blare their horns at her as she took off, speeding down the road. ]

Do you remember anything at all? You called me by name, so you know that much at least.

Edited 2016-06-18 21:02 (UTC)

[Her reaction to the gawkers was another puzzling little piece, but one that Chilton didn't pay extended mind to; he had other priorities at hand, like this act of being kidnapped. Raina had said that he needed to go home, and presumably that was where she was headed with him in tow. But the definition of home remained a fluid one, and Chilton couldn't ascertain the extent of potential danger, if there was any.]

Yes, yes I did. [Something somewhat mysterious to him as it was.] You evoke associations, feelings -- your name just came to mind.

[Some memories, too, but he didn't mention those. Confusing, bewildering memories that he couldn't be certain he had experienced.]

What do you mean, powers? Like that?

[He hadn't been ported out, he hadn't gotten the rundown.]

You're my fiance.

[ She lied but a harmless one because fiance more accurately described the love and relationship they shared. It was a much stronger word than boyfriend. And hopefully one that would make the feelings flood back to him. Her brows drew together. ]

Those are the associations and feelings you feel. No matter what happened to you, you can't forget me. Not entirely. You love me and I love you. No matter what happens.

[ Taking one hand away from the steering wheel, she went to claim his and thought better of it. If he didn't remember about powers, he might subconsciously trigger his sedative and that would be a bad thing on this drive. So she, instead, patted the back of his hand lightly before returning it to the wheel. ]

Everyone has a different power. You have two that are not quite like the one I have. None of this is familiar to you? Darling, you need to focus on what happened to you and tell me how we can fix it. We have a wedding to go to later tonight. Dorian Gray and Tobias Matthews. Do you remember them?

[ Raina glanced up in the rearview mirror and saw the flashing of cop lights in the distance, gaining ground on them. Her brows furrowed and she pressed her foot to the pedal to accelerate a little more. She was not getting arrested for this. ]

What are you talking about?

[Frederick Chilton had never really envisioned himself as a married man, and much less so now that he had suffered so much for so long. There were unseen fractures beneath his skin, psychological blemishes. He carried damage that could not be undone and should not be inflicted upon others.

Fiance seemed impossible.]

I'm not going to any wedding, no. Especially not for inexplicable strangers.

[Chilton craned his neck, looking out the rear window. Those witnesses seem so small now, just specks of people.]

You said we were going home?

[ Ow. Well that hurt. Even if he wasn't himself, it was still a very rude thing to say. Her eyes drifted toward him, wounded. And then they narrowed in anger. She snapped her gaze back toward the road, and as they were driving, a whole palm tree uprooted itself behind them and crashed into the road -- effectively blocking off anyone from following them further. The police still might have her license plate and could show up at her house, but at least she could get him home first. ]

Does it really kill you that much to entertain the thought of marriage? With me? It's been a year. That is the longest we've been with anyone. In both of our lives. And the imPort condition -- you never know when either of us are going to go home for good. You can't be afraid to make the vow, to let me take your name once and for all.

[ She shook her head. ]

Who am I kidding? It's pointless to talk to you like this. You don't even know anything about me. Yes, we're going home. And we're going to sit down and you're going to explain to me everything that has changed about you. Because you have changed.

[ One-handedly, she pulled out her communicator and opened up the text conversations she still left completely stored on her phone, dumping it on his lap for his perusal. ]

For now, read up. Look at the videos, the private conversations, the sexy phone calls. I'm not lying to you about what we are.

[Chilton had frowned at Raina during the length of her speech, the words she spoke only rarely anchoring on memorable context. He knew another life more vibrantly, a life that unbeknownst to Chilton had never actually happened. When she declared that they were going home only for the sake of an interrogation, Chilton's hand was on the door handle again.]

I don't want to go.

[He started rattling the handle, to no avail. He looked to the door's lock and tried to pinch at it.]

I don't.

[A cursory glance at the fallen communicator. Sexy phone calls? And why wouldn't this open? Was the childlock on this door, or what?]

I --

[He wasn't aware of his powers, but that didn't mean his powers were erased. Even the one he rarely employed, Psychic Vehicular Driving, even that aligned with his emotions. Having grown agitated at the door, his temper flared --

-- And the car halted.]

[ When the car suddenly stopped, Raina's eyes widened in panic. No. No, no. Because not only did Frederick not have a clue of what he was doing, but this also brought back the fear of her complete loss of control in the car when Crane had attacked. Her heart pounded, her breath quickened, and she tightened her grip on the steering wheel. What could she do? How could she pull him back to her? Everything was careening so far out of her control. ]

Frederick, please.

[ She pleaded him with such despair and pain, hoping that it would reach some part of him inside. Some part that still did love her, if such a part even existed right now. ]

If you walk out that door. If you leave me... [ Her emotions were spinning wildly out of control, and without thinking, she said: ] I will kill you. I will kill you and hope you revive as the man I love. I don't know who this stranger is in my car right now, but if you can't trust me to do this calmly, then I won't have a choice.

[ Her expression darkened. ]

I will do anything to get back the man I love. Even if it means snapping your neck and leaving you on the side of the road. Do you understand?

[Hand on the already opened door, his foot just about to touch pavement, and Chilton stopped. He froze. What felt like thirty seconds passed before he resumed normal breathing and quietly closed the car door. There were breeds of conviction you could question, flimsy words strung into a stinging promise; but Raina's was not one of them.

He kept his eyes locked to the passenger side's window, hoping to catch the pity of another passerby.]

I am Frederick Chilton.

[Four words set within broken confidence.]

Isn't that enough?

[No, no, of course it wasn't. It never had been. He was captive to a potentially psychotic women for whom he had inexplicable feelings for -- to include a growing fear of -- and she had just declared him expendable. The terms of his captivity she had established.

As a foreign car drove past, passing their stopped vehicle, Chilton rolled down his window and seized upon a loophole:]

Help! Help me! I've been kidnapped, help!

You're a liar.

[ She retorted. He was not Frederick Chilton. Frederick Chilton would never be this broken. This....shell of a disgusting man. Her boyfriend was confident to a fault, sometimes overly so. And that was one of the traits she found most attractive about him. When he tried to call for help, Raina turned off the car and turned it back on in hopes that she could regain control of the vehicle before she leaned over his shoulder with such a cutesy smile. ]

Oh, Frederick. We're not doing that roleplay scenario, yet.

[ An apologetic grin flashed to the other people, and one lit up in recognition. Who DIDN'T know Raina and Chilton as one of the most popular imPort celebrity couples? Throwing her car into drive, she sped away from the scene -- her smile fading away. ]

You know how much I despise Will Graham, but if you don't behave, I will call him in on this.

Oh my god. You are insane.

[Chilton pressed his face to the window, helplessly watching his last lifeline fade into the past. There was no escape, no redemption. Turning back to Raina, he wore only apprehension on his face.]

That is my professional opinion.

[Spoken so matter-of-factually.]

And I don't know what Will Graham is going to do now. [But this was further confirmation that the man was indeed in this world.] He couldn't do much last time.

[Will Graham knew that Chilton had never been the Ripper. He had tried to clarify that. But Hannibal had also testified, and Hannibal had been more compelling.]

[ Every word he spoke was the opposite of what he should be saying. He had never insulted her like this before. And the look she gave him after he called her insane was absolutely enraged. ]

Well you don't seem very qualified to have a professional opinion at the moment, Dr. Chilton.

[ She pulled into their driveway and threw the car into park. ]

More like he never tried to do much. [ She mumbled, torn between the anger she had at Will for turning Chilton in and the anger she had at Chilton for not having any sort of awareness about their relationship. Raina got out of the car and slammed the door behind her, heading over to Chilton's side and pulling open the door, undoing his seatbelt and practically yanking him out as well. ]

Come on.

Oh no. [He could just barely repress his little smirk.] Have I hurt your feelings?

[A little dagger that didn't have much twist when she yanked him from his seat -- even taking the time to undo his belt for him, he noted. Control issues. Chilton staggered along with her, frantically looking around; no mass of witnesses in this pretty neighborhood. The duplex was elegant, modern -- certainly what his tastes had been known for. Certainly familiar. It was all a highly convincing setting.]

I haven't eaten.

[A declaration! It was as much a rebellion as he could muster.]

I have rights, Raina. Those include food before any supposedly humane interrogations.

[ Her expression tightened, and she was hardly gentle with him as she pulled him out of the vehicle. It was tempting to haul off and slap him, but she absolutely was not going to break her vice grip on him until they were inside. Damn it all, she didn't want him roaming on the streets for the sake of the man he once was. This embarrassing imposter would only serve to ruin her Frederick's reputation.

She unlocked the door to their home and stepped inside, pushing him ahead of herself before letting go. And then she closed them in, letting out a frustrated sigh. ]

You can do whatever you want. You're home now.

[ The fight left her and Raina gave up. Was there even anything left of Chilton inside of this shell? She looked at him. ]

I'm not cooking for you, though. If that's what you're expecting. You don't deserve my grandmother's food.

I am perfectly capable of making my own sandwich. I am a modern man.

[Chilton glanced about the entrance hall, still tense in his shoulders. Raina had given him free reign (with the implied boundary of no leaving) and yet he remained skeptical of his fortunes. He had spent years growing more and more suspicious of the human condition, this now less a habit and more his behavior.]

You look as if you need either a grilled cheese, or a nap. Possibly both, hopefully not together.

[A quick, sharp smile.]

I hope we have cheddar and white truffles. And balsamic vinegar.

[Most pretentious grilled cheese in the world.]

Really.

[ Equally as catty. ]

You didn't seem capable of walking down the street without cowering. How will you deal with a stove? And you're welcome to eat all the meat and cheese your little heart desires. I hope you have a miserable time on the toilet later.

[ She headed toward the couch, sinking down onto it in order to undo the straps of her shoes. ]

You don't have any idea about what I need. You're not him. If you were, you would never say the horrible things you're saying to me.

You are upset.

[And clearly, aware of Chilton's dietary restrictions surrounding proteins. Meat, she had said.]

I suppose hearing that you're diagnostically psychotic with a few control issues isn't fun when it comes from the lips of someone you're used to embracing.

[He followed her to the couch, observing all the while.]

I don't know what to believe. That is my predicament. Yours is one of loss, mine is uncertain gain. What are we to do to even it all out for the both of us?

[ She gave him a look at his absurd diagnosis. ]

You don't understand. You don't understand how much I care about you. How could I just leave you on the streets? You weren't listening to me. Where would you have gone? What if someone hurt you? What if someone did this to you and they were waiting to finish off the job when I left? It's not like I wanted to force you home. But I knew this was the safest place for you and I had to get you here no matter what.

[ But since he was coming around, calming down. She supposed she could as well. Removing her shoes completely, she rubbed at her aching feet and scooted over so he could sit if he chose to. ]

We need to talk about this. To figure out what happened. You need to understand who you were, and I need to understand what changed. Deep down, you must know you can trust me. Even if it does seem like I kidnapped you and made you a prisoner in your own home. If you really want to walk out the door, Frederick, walk out the door. But you don't have anyone out there who cares more about you than I do.

Cares for me?

[He leveled a look, one eyebrow cocked skeptically.]

I have spent a couple years behind glass walls for a series of crimes I quite assure you I did not commit. I have been subjected to torments unorthodox by any measure -- even my own -- by people who said they cared about me, too.

[It was his way of saying this isn't personal. But Chilton didn't know where to begin unraveling the truth, his truth, and the reality. Two lives intermingled as one with no hint of authentication -- it was maddening. He could do little but face this identity crisis with a humorous sneer.]

I'm not the only one who doesn't understand.

Edited 2016-06-26 22:09 (UTC)

Years...

[ There it was. The first concrete thing he said that didn't line up with what she knew about him. So the thing that changed was his memories from home. They were altered somehow changing the very course of his timeline here. ]

You're...what you're remembering is different from what happened. You weren't imprisoned for very long, and you were released after...

[ Her eyes flickered to the side of his face where the bullet wound resided, not finishing her sentence. ]

But I imagine in your mind, you lived a very different reality -- paying for a crime you didn't commit. Will Graham turned you in. He knew you didn't do it, and he still turned you in. I do understand. I know all about your Baltimore and Hannibal Lecter and the betrayals. I know about Abel Gideon. I know your scar quite intimately. What was taken from you. How you're blind right now in your left eye.

I'm not from your Baltimore. I would never do the things they've done. Betray you in those ways. [ Her hand found his leg, skirting inward with a familiar touch. Hopefully his body still remembered... ] You have to know that.

[ A beat and she turned to pick up a picture frame off of the stand beside them and handed it to him. A picture of them, a moment locked in time -- all smiles and embraces. So happily endeared to each other. She hoped maybe that could tell the story far better than her words. ]

Were you ever that happy in Baltimore?

I'm not sure what you want me to say. [Lied Chilton, because he did know. And while he had faint memories of Raina's skin touching his, her words inciting a grin from his mouth, while he felt pretty things for her, it was all through a filter. This was his perspective, this salted and raw suspicion. He didn't know if he could condemn himself to believe.]

You say you know about Gideon. My scarring. My eye. [He watched her carefully, especially now that he knew she knew him to be partially blind. His body language became tense.] Then you must know how I attract danger. And if someone comes for me, here, someone who remembers me -- what do we do? What is the security here?

[The incident with the car was still on his mind. Raina hadn't expected that to happen, but Chilton concluded a weak causation against a very strong correlation that he was the responsible variable.]

What do I do?

[ It was disappointing. Incredibly so. Raina took the picture and set it back down on the stand, face down. She couldn't bear to look at the man she had that was no longer present here and now. There was a very real sense of loss for the first time in her life. And she hated this feeling. ]

Our home is warded. Anyone without an invitation trying to break in will not be able to get to you. So you don't have to worry. Unless, of course, someone who is invited went crazy. [ Like you. ]

I'll be back. [ Raina got up and headed up the stairs, rummaging around until she found Chilton's file. And when she came back down, she set the file down on the couch. ]

All the information you need about your powers is in there. Read up.

[ From her tone of voice, it was clear she was defeated. Depressed. In many ways this was more painful than if he had ported out. He didn't remember her. Or rather, he didn't want to remember her. So rather than explaining his abilities, she would let the paperwork do it for her. It was less that they had to talk. ]

All right. [A beat. He reached over and picked up the file, bringing it swiftly to his side.] Thank you.

[It almost seemed too easy, that the answers he craved could be found in this file. Almost anticlimactic. As his fingers clenched at the folder and the neatly organized papers within it, he spared another glance at Raina. She was crestfallen, it was clear. But Frederick Chilton was alone, confused, and tormented between fact and fiction -- he was in no state of mind to tend to her; in fact, the only way he could be what she wanted was to figure out exactly what had happened to him.]

I will be in my room, then. If you need me.

[He took a few steps away before halting his gait.]

Which is... Upstairs? Around the corner, or --? [The doctor cleared his throat.] You know what, I'll just find it myself.

[They both needed space apart.]

Our room.

[ Raina corrected, glancing at him sharply. ]

And if you think you're sleeping there tonight, you're dead wrong. [ A quick gesture to the couch. That would be his sleeping arrangements. Like hell Raina would be kicked out of her own bed.

She put her shoes back on, swept up her keys and headed toward the door. He wanted time alone, he would get it. Raina was going to work, where she had been headed originally. She couldn't stay here and deal with this any further. ]

[CLOSED] if i couldn't sleep could you sleep? could you paint me better off?

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