maskormenacelogs | 🎈 🎊 🎂 🎉 🎁

[The Alchemist's Escape Room was one of many rooms available at No Way Out, a recently opened escape experience in Maurtia Falls that was geared towards imPorts and was owned and operated by a quirky imPortkin named Enrique. For Hazel's birthday, and as a way of making it up to her for missing out on the celebratory opportunity the previous year, Josuke had privately booked the room for his girlfriend and him! They would have 60 minutes to solve the expert level puzzles awaiting them and break out of the cleverly designed zone...which, given that both of them were reliable detectives in their own right, could only be a piece of cake!

That was, of course, provided regular shenanigans, egos, and a penchant for fierce competing didn't get in the way...

As they're shut into the room alone together, the doors locked up tight behind them, the ancient looking clock on the wall set to count down their solitary hour, Josuke grins broadly at Hazel and marches on over to a lone wooden podium with a closed book set atop it.]

This place ain't half bad, huh? Looks like they went to a lot of work to make things look as authentic as possible!

[it's Hazel's birthday, but ever since her boyfriend's picked her up she's looked more like she's preparing to face a firing squad than celebrating a happy event. it's a pity since she looks pretty damn cute in the oversized hoodie she'd decided to wear today; a dress or skirt had seemed too much, but she just couldn't wear her usual dumb shit.

but now that they're locked in here she seems to be easing up a little, finally pulling her arms from around her chest to look around with real interest.]

If that's the case then I wouldn't stand too close to the walls.

[perhaps a little worryingly, her murmured comment doesn't seem to be much more than 10% joking. in fact, the first thing she does is wander into a corner and knock out a simple tune with the back of her knuckles like she expects a reply.]

[Josuke simply doesn't understand Hazel's aversion to celebrating the day she was born. Dying doesn't negate the fact that she was still brought into the world once upon a time, and even if it did, he'd be too happy to ignore the fact! After all, it would mean that celebrating the birthdays of (and showing how much he cares for) a lot of his friends and even family would somehow be...wrong. Or inappropriate.

For now, though, it seems like Hazel's giving his idea of a fun way to celebrate a chance, and that's really all he asks for.]

Hmm? You expecting to find ghosts or a secret passageway?

[Josuke laughs a little and flips open the book he's standing near to begin skimming the pages. Games like these would drop hints in the form of puzzle pieces or stories to be pondered over, they weren't going to rely on scare tactics!

...or were they?

He stops, finger poised above an archaic looking passage written in an aggressively cursive hand, to listen to Hazel's musical wall rapping half expecting there to be some kind of reply, too. But none comes. In fact, the walls sound, while not quite like the stone they're fashioned to look like, still solid enough to keep outside sounds from interfering with their gameplay or destroying the mood.]

[she waits a moment or two, just to be sure, before shrugging and giving up the idea. Enrique seemed like the kind of weirdo who'd sit in a hollow wall for hours just to add some atmosphere to the place, after all.]

Bricked-up mages, actually.

[she's...she doesn't seem to be joking. but before that even has the time to begin sinking in Hazel's already made her way over to the podium Josuke's poring over, slipping under his arm like a complete asshole to lean on it and inspect the book herself. don't you dare bring up the fact she needs to stand on her tiptoes to read it.]

So what's this?

[Enrique is exactly that kind of weirdo, but his escape experience requires that he keep an eye on all his available rooms...and leave adding atmosphere to other like-minded employees.]

Bricked-up ma—what is that, something you had to deal with back home?

[No, you know what? He's pretty sure he doesn't actually want to know this time, so he just shakes his head and gives Hazel a look as she squeezes in between the podium and him. What a little weasel!]

It looks like an old dusty book. [Thank you captain obvious!] Probably nothing. But I was looking at it first, so move!

[smart move, Josuke. that story tidbit leads down a path ending in Lovecraftian horrors nearly being unleashed on the world and no one wants to hear about that.]

Why should I? Not like you can read it.

[r u d e. and to further illustrate her point she casually kicks backward with a foot, aiming for what she approximates to be Josuke's kneecaps. if he can't even defend the thing from her sneaking in front, he sure as hell doesn't deserve to look it over.]

[Good point.

And, to be fair, they don't exactly have the time for that...]

It doesn't matter if I can read it or not, I said I was here firs—shit! [Her kick, as always, lands where it's meant to, and Josuke stumbles back away from her and the book in question so he can rub at his sore knee.] Why the hell are you always kicking me! I'm not a fucking hacky sack!

[Before he can shout much more, however, a clunky grinding sound interrupts his and Hazel's would-be argument. It's...coming from the podium. Which Josuke is suddenly all too happy to let Hazel investigate. He's keeping his new found distance, thanks!]

[Hazel's just as startled as her boyfriend is, but that doesn't seem to really inform her actions beyond her shoulders practically hiking up to her ears. she snatches the book off the podium, holding it protectively to her chest, and...waits. if this stupid thing is going to do anything, she wants to be front and center when it happens.

while she's watching it and quietly hoping there at least won't be any pyrotechnics, she decides now's a great time to pick up their conversation again. Josuke'll probably be too distracted to get any smart responses in.]

Crouch down a little more often and I'll be happy to sock you in the jaw now and then.

[she doesn't realize that she sounds a little distracted herself. oh well.]

[And...the moment Hazel removes the book the strange sound stops. Leading Josuke to think that whatever happened to cause the grinding noise originally was movement detected. Probably. But with the book removed from the podium now, maybe the trap or whatever had been disarmed?

In any case, Hazel's right, her boyfriend is too distracted to get in a smart remark, choosing to focus on carefully edging back toward the stand the book was on to investigate it more closely. There doesn't look to be anything metal about it, so where exactly were those sounds coming from? Inside, maybe?]

Hmm...

[He looks at the floor around the podium, but there's nothing to indicate a trap that would spring up from there. And the ceiling is too cluttered (and not high enough, besides) to accommodate a cage...]

Shit, I think we totally conquered that puzzle and we weren't even trying!

[He leans on the podium...and the clunking starts again. But before he has a chance to pull away, metal restraints rise up from underneath the topmost part of the stand and clasp his wrist in place. If he'd been standing where he originally was before, still looking over the book, he'd probably have had both hands locked down!]

What the hell! H-hey, these are pretty solid! [He tugs his arm...and then tugs again and gives Hazel a helpless, perplexed look.] The hell is this? What are you doing? Put the book back!!

[Enrique, this is a bit much for an escape room...]

[well, that was certainly an unforeseen development.

Hazel actually jumps a little when her boyfriend suddenly finds himself shackled to the podium, holding that book even closer like she's expecting it to ward off bullets. thankfully the surprise subsides and she stares intently at the faintly rumbling stand, trying to suss out where the fuck this machinery was hidden.]

Wow, this really is like home.

[so she says. what she's not doing, however, is moving closer to put the book back. she'll just. hang out here for a while. it's cool.]

[It's hard buying birthday gifts for someone who can't eat cake and has severely eclectic tastes! So Josuke, thinking himself oh-so-clever, has decided to take Hazel on a shopping spree as part two of his birthday celebratory surprise! Unfortunately, he didn't think to set a limit for her to spend, a fact she's sure to make him regret by the time they're done strolling in and out of Maurtia Falls' many bizarre boutiques.

Thinking that he might get her to slow down a little if they venture somewhere familiar, Josuke eventually puts an arm around Hazel's shoulders and asks...]

Hey, isn't that shop you always go to somewhere around here?

[maybe it's that difficult because it's something not meant to be done, just saying!! ...or she would be saying that if Hazel hadn't completely resigned herself a while back to the inevitability of all this.

but the escape room had been fun, and with the complete lack of a budget waving its devious little fingers in front of her face there's no time at all to slide back into that uncomfortable apprehensive state from earlier. she even leans into Josuke when he slings an arm around her, although the words out of his mouth jolt her out of that enjoyment pretty quickly.]

What? You mean-[no, he has to. there's only one place around here she's mentioned before.]

...shit, I probably should swing by while we're out here. She still won't fucking unplug that goddamn ancient incense burner when she walks out.

[that's. that's not why he's mentioning it, Hazel...]

[Now that's a bit of an unexpected reaction, but not altogether unhelpful. In fact, it seems to do just the trick and, with Hazel's attention redirected, Josuke thinks he's successfully acquired for himself a bit of time to catch his breath between shops and hell, maybe even look around a little for something he might like!]

Yeah, sounds like you know exactly the place I'm talking about.

[He chuckles a little, but keeps her held close against his side as they make their way down the sidewalk.]

Is what's-her-face really that forgetful? Pretty nice of you to take care of her like that!

I'm not taking care of her, holy shit. She's way too much of a fucking pain in the ass to even think about something as dumb as that.

[she'd be tempted to pull clear away from him for a comment like that, but...well, to be perfectly honest Hazel is really fucking comfortable where she is right now. just don't comment on her leaning back into him again.]

But yes, she's that fucking forgetful. You've never been there before, right? You'll see what I mean when we get there.

[it's easier to just let Josuke bask in the complete reality warp that is Starlight Lavender's supposed store than try and find the words to explain a woman who can't even tell that her "cat" is actually several dozen strays who rotate by the week.]

[Why comment on her leaning back into him when she's given him so much other material to tease her with?]

So, if you're not taking care of her, what exactly do you call wanting to make sure she hasn't burned the place down? 'Cause that sounds an awful lot to me like you care, Hazel.

Everything sounds like somebody cares to you, dumbass.

[and she might not be moving away, but she can definitely give him a little pinch in the abdomen.]

If the fucking place burns down then I lose the best store I've found for buying spooky garbage. The devil could be running that place and I'd still wanna check that everything's still in one place - and that's it, alright?

That's not true. Where'd you get a stupid idea like that from?

[He only jumps a little at her pinch, and uses it as an excuse to tighten his hold around her, squeezing her against his side. It's hard to tell now if his embrace is affectionate or combative. Maybe...a cross between the two? Which is appropriate for any interaction involving Hazel, he supposes.]

Anyway, whatever you need to tell yourself so you don't feel like a softy is fine by me. I know the truth now, though. Don't think I'll forget it.

[she makes some indistinct cranky noise, either at his words or the even more obvious embrace in public, wrapping her own around around his waist in turn. it's purely for a better angle to counterattack.]

I'm pretty sure she's got hallucinogens hiding around in the back of that shithole. You'll forget whatever the hell I want you to.

[that better be a joke even if HER FACE SURE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT IS]

Anyway, watch your ass. The neighborhood's kinda rough for a whiny baby like you.

[their surroundings are certainly getting a lot seedier as they continue walking, even in the daytime. if it weren't for Hazel's confident steering one might even begin to wonder if she really knew where she was going...]

Hallucinogens don't make you forget. [He shakes his head, chuckling as she wraps her arm around his waist. She might be thinking of strategic vantage points for a counterattack, but Josuke's simply basking in the affection at this point! After all, were they in Japan, even mild public displays of affection such as this might be frowned upon in certain areas, so Josuke's happy to get to indulge a little while he can. Especially if it means making Hazel feel special at the same time.] And it'd be a bit cruel to make me forget anything that happens today, anyway.

[That said, as they start into the seedier part of the city, his expression changes. He's been places like this before and they don't bother him for the sake of his own well being...but the idea that Hazel frequents them on her own certainly makes his arm tighten around her.]

I've seen worse places, but...maybe you oughtta talk to that old woman and see if you can't get her to change the location of her shop? Can't be too safe for her...unless she's secretly some well-respected mob boss in the area?

The hell's that supposed to mean?

[if he's worried about the idea of her walking through a neighborhood like this by herself, he better never learn that she's made a habit of wandering through nasty areas at night and baiting muggers into slitting her throat. comparatively this is pretty conservative of her.

but Hazel's blissfully unaware of any of the thoughts going through her boyfriend's head right now. the firmer grip just makes her smile without meaning to as she scans the broken down shopfronts for Star's place. they were all so fucked up, she always had a hard time remembering which it was...]

Honestly, I think everyone just fucking forgot she's still here. I've never seen anybody ever walk in that wasn't me.

[which was sad, and...maybe a little bit of why Hazel kept showing up. even if she didn't notice, Lavender didn't deserve to be alone.]

[Somewhere along a nice, grassy patch of ground next to the canal that splits Maurtia Falls neatly in two, Josuke has taken the time to lay out a colorful themed blanket and cozy up next to his girlfriend. It seemed to him that, as it got dark out, being able to lay back and look up at the stars together would be the perfect way to wrap up a well spent birthday!

And anyone might have attested to it being a great idea! It was sweet while not being entirely over the top...except that, so used to clear skies Florida, Josuke didn't think to check what the weather might be like in Pennsylvania.

Surrounded by dense grey clouds and whatever Hazel managed to accumulate while shopping earlier, Josuke flops back on the blanket and tries not to look too grumpy that the pinnacle of his surprise was spoiled by something as fucking stupid as...

drip-drip

...rain?]

You gotta be fucking kidding me!

[Josuke, you dumbass.

his stupidity might have been the best thing that could have happened, though, because all that sulking has been doing nothing but amusing Hazel. before it started to rain she was even prepared to snuggle against him as a facetious consolation prize for his thoughtful end to the day backfiring so badly - but now it is, so instead she remains sitting up and starts laughing.]

Man, too bad you didn't layer an actual jacket on top of that fucking disaster.

[says the girl who hasn't even pulled her own hood up because she can't feel half of the discomfort that raindrops bring. in fact the only productive thing Hazel seems to be doing aside from drinking in her boyfriend's distress is tying the shopping bags closed so the contents don't get soggy.]

[Cut him some fucking slack! At least he tried! That if nothing else deserves a cuddle, right? Leave the shopping bags alone for a second or two, a couple drops of water won't kill their contents!]

The hell are you talking about? What's wrong with what I'm wearing?

[You got a problem with his butterfly and anchor knit and red star over shirt ensemble, Hazel? Sure, it's lacking his usual bling, but he thought he more than made up for that in patterns alone!]

...I mean besides the fact I'm getting all wet.

[He puffs out his cheeks before rolling over onto his side to look at her, hand resting on his cheek.]

What about you? Going for the drowned rat look or just too lazy to throw up your hood?

[maybe not, but they're apparently killing Josuke. and she'd never admit it but Hazel's pretty hard-pressed to think of anything cuter than her boyfriend when he's sulking.]

I think it'd be easier to just talk about what isn't wrong with that clusterfuck.

[she loves you Josuke, but she really does think that when you get dressed you just close your eyes and wear whatever three articles of clothing you pull from the closet.

bags acceptably shut, Hazel shifts a little so that she can give him her complete and utterly amused attention. attention that still doesn't involve her laying down and cuddling up to him; he dragged her along for this birthday bash, after all, he'll have to give her good reason for it.]

What, I thought you'd be grateful that I was thoughtful enough to match you! I'm not gonna get cold or whatever from this anyway.

[They've got that in common, finding each other's carrying on and sulking to be irresistibly adorable! Too bad for Josuke that Hazel's got the upper hand this time, particularly as she takes another shot at his outfit...which he was rather proud of having put together!

His lower lip sticks out a little at her.]

How about you shut up, yeah? It's not my problem you don't know a goddamn thing about style.

[So he says, but...despite the simplicity of her choice of outfits for today, Hazel does look cute, and try as Josuke might, he really can't deny it. In fact, his actions throughout the day probably confirm those thoughts.

Though that doesn't stop him from looking miserable about the fact, or miserable with her as she points out that the rain is cold and then refuses to cuddle up to him!]

Guess we've got that in common then, huh? No wonder we get along.

[she laughs, punishing Josuke for his continued crankiness by pulling her hood up at last. if he's not going to appreciate the lengths she's going to for him then he can just suffer all alone. bet he's sorry now!!!

buuuut...she taps her lips gently in mock thought, looking at him with a smile meant to be innocent but coming off a little more devious than anything else. not that it mattered - he already knew she was having a great time hassling him about this.]

Know what, though? If you ask really nicely I think I can give you an umbrella.

[an umbrella to shield his corpse, since right now asking nicely would probably kill him.]

You have an umbrella? When the hell'd we buy an umbrella!

[Was it something she'd slipped into the purchase piles without his noticing?

Or worse...was it some kind of trick? Was she going to wait for him to ask really nicely and then throw it in his face that she doesn't have one after all?

Well, joke's on her, then! He's not fucking begging her for shit she doesn't have!]

Never mind, it doesn't matter! I don't fucking nee— [A strand of hair flops down in front of his face, a single droplet of water sadly falling off the tip. He just had to lose his weatherproof hair powers, didn't he? So not great..] —hmmph. Bet you don't even have one.

I've probably got the best fucking umbrella you'd ever want, but I guess it doesn't matter now! It's a fucking waste of time arguing with you when you get like this.

[as if that's ever stopped Hazel before; the transparency of her suddenly folding is meant purely to grind more salt into that wound.

with a laugh that is more of a cackle than anything else she finally flops down onto the blanket, arms folded comfortably behind her head as she decides to revel in her general dryness and watch the rain while waiting for the stars that probably won't ever show up.]

Don't worry, Josuke. I heard melting hair's super in right now.

[...melting hair?!]

As if!

[She lays down and Josuke sits up, quick to rummage around inside the front of his shirt for where he keeps his comb. Aha! That'll fix any stray hairs and lock them back into place again!

Except...it doesn't. As the rain starts coming down a little harder, Josuke's hair gives up and droops upon his forehead. Coupled with the fact the sky is getting darker, this is a very sad scene indeed.]

...alright. [It's been several minutes fighting a battle he couldn't win. Surely that's enough, right?] ...I said alright.

[He tucks his comb away and turns to look at her, hand held out.]

Let's have your fucking umbrella.

[she nearly misses his admittance of defeat, because Hazel has to cover her face with her oversized sleeves to stifle the fit of giggles watching Josuke's hair completely collapse brings on. it's sad because she knows how much work he puts into that, but at the same time...come on.

but the world seems to have acknowledged that today is, in fact, her birthday; Josuke's second 'alright' manages to reach her ears, allowing her to flash that shit-eating grin right at him as her face sees the light of day.]

I did say you had to ask nicely...[she trails off with a mock thoughtful 'hmmm'] Buuut I guess the sky's been shitting on you enough already.

[Hazel is very insecure about the way she looks. it doesn't take a mind-reader to know that, or to figure that she must be hypersensitive about the way people perceive her.

she hasn't said a word about the way her boyfriend has obviously been appreciative of her outfit, but it's been a small pool of warmth in the pit of her stomach all day. it's also why Hazel is bold enough to pull off this little joke somewhere that plenty of people could see them without a second thought.

Josuke holds out his hand - and instead of slapping an umbrella in it she grabs it herself. with one swift motion she pulls him back down onto the blanket and rolls on top of him, gently pressing her forehead to his with an unrepentant smile.]

See? Was that really so hard?

🎈 🎊 🎂 🎉 🎁

NO WAY OUT

NO WAY OUT more like a subtitle to Hazel's thoughts about this outing

wow it's not like he forced this on her (except he totally did)

if twisting her arm had any effect he'd have made her into a pretzel, lbr

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SHOP 'TIL YOU DROP

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OVERCAST GAZING

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