Make new friends but keep the old

[lastnerv]

WHO: Shinji Ikari (lastnerv), Aerith Gainsborough (23wishes) and Kanaya Maryam (glowsferatu)
WHERE: Outside and then inside Nonah #006
WHEN: Late afternoon, May 2nd
WHAT: Shinji promised to visit someone earlier over the network. Said someone happens to live in the same house as his best friend. That's extremely convenient.
WARNINGS: General sadness, possible Eva manga spoilers, Shinji freaking out over a baby bug

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OUTSIDE - Shinji and Aerith

[lastnerv]

[The walk from where he had been hanging around his new home to his destination was not nearly as long as he would like. Shinji wasn’t fully prepared to talk to someone face to face, even if he had been acting like he was. It was always easier over the network than in person, especially considering some of things he’d have to say.

Still he had made a promise, and had received an invitation. It would be rude to both of them - and regressive to what he was trying to accomplish - to turn around now.

...Or that’s what he’s telling himself, anyway, since at the moment he’s standing around the corner from the building, staring at it, like he expects that to change anything on its own. His hand clenches around the cross pendent he’s holding, trying to gather the nerve to keep moving. He mumbles under his breath.] Just do it, stupid. [And finally starts to walk towards the house.]

[23wishes]

[Aerith hadn't needed to read Shinji over the network (not that she could anyway) to sense something really wrong with that boy. In a way, he reminded her a bit of Cloud, when he was at his worst, just about to have a breakdown.

But Shinji's just a kid. He shouldn't be so messed up. Was it just this place that did it to him? Or was his home world bad too? She wouldn't pry too much, but she was a bit curious.

She'd invited him just to keep an eye on the poor kid. Aerith isn't sure if she can actually help him or not, but at the very least, they could both make a new friend.

So, presently, she's out in her garden working while she waits for him. She has two flower beds set up, though there's some unpredicted overflow: a few large pots of lilies are sitting off to the side.

The right flowerbed has a selection of fruits and vegetables, though they're just babies right now, not bearing anything yet. Kaneda has requested strawberries, so there's a small crop of them, with peppers and tomatoes taking up most of the extra space. A border of thyme and basil fences them in. The left flowerbed is exploding with flowers, like tulips, daffodils, lantana, poppies, daisies, and mums. Aerith may have gone a bit overboard, but this variety isn't something she had at home.

From the corner of her eye, she catches Shinji approaching, so she stands up and waves him over.]

[ooc: aerith has a permissions post for one of her powers! check it out please!]

[lastnerv]

[It's hard to keep coming up with excuses to hesitate when someone's directly waving you down.

Shinji keeps moving forward, trying to come up with an ice-breaker. "Nice dirt"? Is that a thing you say to a gardener? No, that's stupid. Instead he puts on his best, only-partially-forced smile, and sticks his hand out to shake. And then immediately pulls it back behind his head, rubbing the back of it once he considers that maybe she's from a culture where you don't actually do handshakes. What kind of name was "Aerith"? French, maybe?

God, his thought process is just the worst when he's nervous.]

Uh, hi. Aerith, right?

[23wishes]

That's me!

[This poor kid is pretty much bleeding anxiety. She's not sure what she expected, but it probably wasn't this. So Aerith keeps it light and smiles softly at him as she opens the gate to let him in.]

I'm glad you could make it. I only just got here last month, so we could both use more friends. Do you like flowers?

[Because she obviously loves flowers.]

I find it really relaxing to work on the garden.

[lastnerv]

[More friends. It's hard to ignore how many times he's been burned by that idea. More always meant more chances for disappointment when they get ported out and-

No, he's not supposed to be thinking like that anymore. Shinji pushes that back down and steps through the gate.]

Thanks for inviting me. I really appreciate having someone reasonable to talk to. [A glance back at the flowerbeds.] I, um. Don't have a strong opinion about flowers? I haven't spent a whole lot of free time outdoors or in parks or anything. [He hopes that doesn't sound as lame to her as it does to him.] But I'm interested in learning.

[23wishes]

Well, we have plenty of time.

[She stays quiet for a few moments, watching him, even as she pinches off dead leaves from the vegetables. His soul is, frankly, kind of a mess. Aerith's always a bit upset to see how many people are so emotionally scarred from their pasts. She used to think Cloud was the worst, but since coming here, it's hit her just how common it is.]

... You didn't have an easy life, did you?

[Is that invasive? Why not speak frankly about it?]

[lastnerv]

[He was fine watching her hands work. Focusing on that, figuring out what she was doing, that was somewhat calming. Shinji was actually about to ask how often she had to do this before her words killed that thought before being verbalized.]

-What?

[He shifts in his spot, left hand twitching down at his side.]

I...yeah, I guess you could say I didn't. Not that I like to complain about it. [Grabbing the pendant in his pocket stabilizes him again.] Why? What makes you say that?

[23wishes]

I can...

[Hmm. It's not often she says this so openly.]

I have a power that lets me read people. Your soul seems... heavy somehow. There are a lot of people like that where I'm from.

[Aerith motions for him to sit down next to her and join her.]

Me too. And... I don't mean to compare, because I don't know what you've been through, but maybe I can help. If you'd let me.

[lastnerv]

[His breath quickens. What does that mean? How much can she see? Does she know about what he's done? No no no, if she did, she wouldn't be motioning for him to come closer. She'd be running away from him and screaming.

He suppresses the urge to step back, overwhelming it with repeating his mother's words again, mouthing them wordlessly. Shinji takes a deep breath and sits.]

I don't think anyone can help me. [His voice is strained again, just like the post earlier.] I don't know if it's worth trying, either.

[23wishes]

I think it is.

[She pauses and looks over her garden.]

I have to think it is. For myself, and for all of my friends back home... I have to think that there's hope for a better life for us after everything.

[And back at Shinji, smiling gently at him.]

Kanaya knows, too, and I bet you can keep a secret, so... I'm not all human. And the half of me that isn't human... I'm the only one of it left. So, when I was little, a lot of horrible things were done to me and my mom to find out what we could do. Most of the time, I don't think about it, because it hurts. But sometimes I can't help it. That's why I like having this garden. With the flowers, I'm never alone or lonely, and they need me to take care of them. I can keep my mind off the bad thoughts and put that energy into helping create something.

[lastnerv]

[Shinji listens, pulling his legs up closer, huddling in on himself. He takes a few seconds to think about what she's saying. The word "experiment" wasn't used, sure, but he's smart enough to piece together what she means. It makes him think of Ayanami, and that's a dangerous road to let himself go down.]

That's-I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that. [He fidgets a little in his spot, looking ahead at the garden. It's always easier for him to talk with a non-person to focus on.] You're right. I won't tell anyone about that, but it really doesn't bother you to just. Say all of that to someone you've known for less than a day?

[23wishes]

Thank you. I don't talk about it much. There's even people back home who don't know the full extent of everything. I like privacy and I don't want anyone to pity me, but...

[She sighs while she thinks of how to explain this.]

It should be different with you. I want you to see that things aren't horrible forever after bad things happen. There are still sad days, but there are good ones too, and eventually they'll outnumber all the others.

[lastnerv]

[She's sharing painful information like that to try and help him. That's what he was afraid of. He really doesn't feel worth it and it's hard to pretend the notion otherwise doesn't make him uncomfortable.]

I've heard that, and...I know that's true. In my mind, I mean. It's never going to be bad forever. I'm aware. But I'm trying to feel that way right now, and it's difficult. For a lot of reasons. I guess there's- [He pauses. It's only fair he give her something back, right? Like it's that simple.] There's things about my world-things I've done, that I can't share like you did. I'm not the kind of person who can just open up and say how they feel. Sorry.

INSIDE - Shinji and Kanaya

[lastnerv]

[Shinji feels like an idiot for all that worrying earlier. Actually talking to another human being had done a lot to make him less nervous, sure, but he was still visting Kanaya of all people. He spent hours working at her home back in the City, and even if this place was completely different it still felt like a space that was her’s enough for Shinji to be comfortable in it.]

So, um. [Again, he’s not sure how to start talking.] This place seems nice.

[glowsferatu]

[ There aren't nearly as many books as she's usually kept, and there's certainly a lack of mannequins compared to her rooms in the past. Her sewing machine isn't even there. But it's still just as colorful as can be expected of her, as sparse as some of the amenities are. There are a few baby baskets on one of the couches, as well. ]

Well, the townhouses are certainly more spacious than the Heropa housing. And, of course, it's all a lot more...occupied than my apartment was in Maurtia Falls. But that isn't a negative, it was the whole point.

[ She tells herself it was wanting to put Ashiah in a brighter, friendlier atmosphere, but it was really about putting the darkness of the Falls behind her. Living there was about isolating herself, making herself pay penance, and she can't do that anymore. She needs her spirits as bright as they can be for Ashiah.

And where exactly is Ashiah, anyway? Surprise, she's on the ceiling. Don't look up, Shinji. ]

[lastnerv]

[Shinji nods as he listens to her, glancing around the room and stepping around it carefully. He doesn't want to touch anything without permission or knock over a baby basket. That would be embarrassing.]

Yeah, Heropa is where I was last time. ["Back when I was an idiot who treated you like dirt" isn't part of that sentence, though he definitely thinks it.] This is definitely a step up, and everything I've heard about Maurtia Falls makes me think that you getting out of there was the right id-

[Oh no.

He looked up.

Shinji's immediate thought process: "boy that's a weird thing to decorate your ceiling with maybe it's some kind of traditional troll ornament wait is it moving" and yep now he's yelling and falling back on his ass.]

W-what is- [He points up at the baby grub and stammers uselessly.]

[glowsferatu]

[ Kanaya jumps back in surprise, not expecting that reaction, then follows his eyeline. Her reaction shifts completely, tilting her head with a chiding smirk. ]

What have I told you about ceilings? You silly girl, get down here!

[ The giant white grub frowns at Shinji, scared people scare her. She trills low and uncomfortably, but ultimately complies, skittering her way back over to the wall, where Kanaya scoops her up. She glides back to where Shinji is cowering, and offers him a hand up. ]

Don't be so rude, Shinji. Come meet my daughter.

[lastnerv]

[That last word drills its way into Shinji's brain, snapping him out of his state of...well, of being a huge ninny. His eyes dart from grub to troll a couple of times before he finally speaks.]

That's your daughter? [He doesn't mean to be rude, and once it's out in the air he realizes how it must sound. His face turns completely red as he starts mentally kicking himself over and over.] N-not that I'm, like, saying that's bad! She's just not-

[Shinji stops babbling long enough to accept Kanaya's hand.]

-Well, I guess I don't know what I was expecting. [Kanaya but just smaller? How do babies work]

[glowsferatu]

You do realize I was a larva too, when I was her age? It's a very standard way for insects to begin life!

[ She settles down on the couch, patting the seat next to her. ] Do you want to hold her?

[ Ashiah proves just as fussy as her mother, squirming her way off of her back to settle herself more comfortably in Kanaya's lap. ]

She's not a troll, so you know. That's where the Matriorb comes in, she hatched from it.

[lastnerv]

Insect. Right. [Kanaya wasn't just an alien vampire, she was an alien vampire bug. Because that's the kind of weirdness he ends up with when it comes to friends.

Shinji's trying to wrap his mind around this as he takes the seat next to her and even then he's still glancing back and forth between mother and child. Now that he's capable of rational thought, this seems...right. Even it's a little weird, it's not the weirdest he's ever seen. And she's kind of cute? When you don't look at all of those legs. That's way too many legs.]

Um, yeah, I would like to. I just haven't ever really held a baby before. Of any kind. Should I-is there a way to properly hold her? [He holds up his hands, like he's trying to experiment and the best angle for carrying. This is awkward and he knows it.]

[glowsferatu]

She's not so delicate as a human baby, you don't have to worry about elevating her head, or anything like that. She doesn't like being on her back, anyway. Don't jostle her, obviously.

[ With that, she extricates Ashiah from her lap, and places her in Shinji's, cooing reassurances at her the whole time. The is a little tense at first, trilling lowly as her six tiny legs poking into his thighs. Not in a way that stabs or hurts, really, just enough that her being uncomfortable will make him uncomfortable also. She looks up at him with a blank expression, cautiously sniffing towards his shirt. ]

[lastnerv]

[Shinji resists the urge to wriggle away once those legs make contact, the very legs he was trying so hard to not pay attention to. They got off on the wrong foot enough already, and the last thing he wants to do is mess up his relationship with his best friend's daughter. Even if she's extremely weird.

His hand sort of hovers near the grub for a second, still not entirely sure what to do, before he decides just to go for it and starts gently patting her back.]

Uh, hi, Ashiah. I'm Shinji. [He looks back to Kanaya.] Does she understand words yet? Am I talking to a baby for no reason?

[glowsferatu]

[ That was a good move, she seems to enjoy being pet, lightly wriggling her butt as he strokes her. Quickly enough, she gives up on sniffing, instead nuzzling her head against his stomach. ]

A little. But nowhere near as often as I do! She's...never really going to speak much more than she does now, but I think she'll learn to comprehend it somewhat, especially the more she hears it.

[lastnerv]

[He laughs, half because of the wriggling grub in his lap and half because of Kanaya's response.] Well, you're a mother, Kanaya. I'm pretty sure talking to your baby for no reason is part of the job description. I'll just be happy to help with her learning. [The patting moves to skritching, though he's careful not to go near the horns in case that's a bad spot. Because now he's being extra thoughtful to make up for being a big screaming idiot later.]

So, where did you get the, uh, Matriorb from anyway?

[glowsferatu]

[ Ashiah continues to wiggle a little, letting out a satisfied trill. Then, she gets up to turn a half circle, kneads his legs a little, and lays back down contentedly. She seems to enjoy him a lot better than she expected from the first impression.

Kanaya looks a little more solemn, letting out a sigh. ]

It came from my mother. Not my ancestor, of course, but my lusus. [ Does Shinji know about lusii? She hopes she doesn't have to contextualize that. ] I took it from her when she died, so that we'd have another mother grub to reestablish our species after everything was over. That was my whole point of living.

I suppose...it was a little appropriate that Eridan killed me after he destroyed it. Too bad for him that it didn't take.