FANPORT OVERFLOW LOG

[maskormods]

WHO: ImPorts!
WHERE: Heropa's Convention Centre.
WHEN: April 14-16, from 9 AM - 12 AM every day.
WHAT: Registration is in motion alongside FanPort, the most popular imPort convention around! Come on in and see imPort-led panels, the artist's alley, cosplayers, and more! If you have any questions, or wish to amend the way we have written up your characters' panels, let us know here! The original log can be found HERE.
WARNINGS: None anticipated; please let us know if this should be changed.

Comments

[vorbarra]

Besides. We have each other.

[ Gregor hasn't forgotten how accepting Miles had been of his last bout of depression, and how he hadn't pushed him to feel better, or even really explain any of it. That lack of pressure meant so much to him, had contributed to how quickly his feelings for Miles had deepened. Gregor himself has never been someone who pushes others-- but in light of that, he feels more motivated than ever to return that to him, to take him as he is and not ask for improvement. ]

[dendarii]

We can give all those worthless excised bits to each other instead?

[ Half teasing, half recalling the warm glow he'd felt - still feels - reading those words. They fit together so neatly, the two of them. And someone who can take Miles on his own terms in return is ... desperately liberating. Miles hadn't known how necessary it was for himself in turn until he'd turned around and had Gregor to give it to him. He strokes idly at Gregor's head, threading his fingers through the taller man's hair. ]

[vorbarra]

Mm. Since we don't treat them appropriately. Much safer in your hands.

[ This is a nice reversal of positions; in the past it's been Gregor doing the hair stroking. He decides immediately that he likes it, enough to blindly grope for the notebook and drop it behind him on the night table without looking. Fortunately, Gregor doesn't keep anything there but a lamp set far back toward the wall, so the journal teeters on the edge but lands safely.

This leaves him with more of Miles accessible, and him free to snuggle into him more closely. There's years of unexpressed desire to cuddle behind it, with just enough experience with Cordelia encouraging it for Gregor to know how to express it. Nonetheless, it's a drastic difference from his public persona, which has a personal space bubble a full meter in radius even with people he knows. ]

[dendarii]

[ Miles is more than happy to help him with that lack of personal space bubble here. Another flicker of very real enjoyment at getting to cuddle up next to him. For all his tangled inadequacy issues, Miles still secretly enjoys the fact that he fits very nicely up against Gregor like this. He slips an arm gently around Gregor's waist, leaning his head up against his chest. ]

Protected with my life and my love both.

[vorbarra]

[ He's not quite sleepy -- it's too early for that -- but he is drifting nicely, settling in with Miles, making him less inhibited than normal. It's been a long day of crowds and Gregor carefully controlling himself, which he's used to from home, but he's never had someone to fall onto like this at the end of the day before.

He mumbles, ] And if you hurt yourself again without letting me help you, I will not be amused. [ He's not expecting Miles to not hurt himself (he is realistic), but doing it while shutting him out would be too much. ]

[dendarii]

[ A faint flicker of guilt surfaces at that. How many times has he done that already? And yet he can't promise he'll never do it again either ... ]

I'll be careful, of course. And it's not as though you can lose me for good here.

[vorbarra]

[ Gregor's giving him blanket forgiveness for anything predating them getting together, whether Miles knows that or not, but it would be hard for him to stomach Miles hurting himself and disallowing him to help when Gregor lets him in so deeply in return...

His arms tighten around him as his possessiveness boils up in automatic response to the thought. There's something brittle to it, Gregor's expectation of loss persistent and unreasoning despite all logic otherwise. ]

That is not a comfort. Accepting you in danger from external sources is one thing, [ and not something Gregor really expects to change or thinks it's his place to ask to change, ] but don't push me away, Miles, please. There's nothing I need to be shielded from in you.

[ Though he's not fully convinced the reverse is true. ]

[dendarii]

[ Miles can feel that possessiveness boiling up. It's ... Comforting, really, if also guilt-inducing on this topic in particular. Miles' issues run deep, even with Gregor there to help him through. ]

It's not pushing, Gregor. More like I hate to drag you down with me.

[vorbarra]

[ With a touch of iron to it, if just a touch, ] Give me some credit. I'm not about to sink under your weight. Compared to what I'm used to, you don't intimidate me at all.

[ Even Miles's considerable issues don't seem insurmountable in comparison to what Gregor's used to facing day in, day out. ]

[dendarii]

[ Miles squirms a bit, both mentally and physically. Trying to find other excuses. ]

It's not that either. I don't doubt you in the slightest - you just shouldn't have to. I can take care of such things myself.

[vorbarra]

[ It feels like a fish on a hook trying to get away. ]

Ah. I suppose I'll just stop telling you anything then, either. Since I've managed to cope with my own problems so long on my own, I must of course continue in that vein indefinitely.

[dendarii]

[ That gets him to wince outright, with a flicker of mental pain to match. ]

That's not what I meant and you know it.

[vorbarra]

[ He softens his tone, but doesn't let up an inch in argument. ]

No, I don't know. It's my fervent wish that things between us be equal, passing in both directions. That's all.

[dendarii]

[ He quiets again, mind whirling. Because Gregor does have a point there - but it's so hard trying to pull this particular and poisonous thought out by the roots. The best he can do is clear the visible weeds on top. ]

... I want that too, Gregor.

[vorbarra]

I'm not saying that it's easy, or that it's easy for me, either. [ Gregor has his own difficulties, not insubstantial, with admitting to his deeply rooted weaknesses. ]

But I'd like to find this together with you.

[dendarii]

[ How can he argue with that? He relents, then, and lets his head lean back against Gregor's chest again. He'd gone all tense when Gregor had brought the subject up in the first place. ]

Promise to do our best, then? And be patient with each other when we fail.

[vorbarra]

[ He cards his fingers through his hair with a low internal rumble of satisfaction at getting to do it without second-guessing himself. ]

Because that's inevitable, yes. [ Wry self-awareness with that. ] I thought the hard part was getting together, [ he murmurs. ] Isn't this supposed to be happily ever after now?

[dendarii]

[ Miles snorts a bit at that, continuing to relax under Gregor's gentle touch. A subconscious, pleased sort of hum comes over their link. ]

If you believe the holovids. But then again most holovids would have me playing the villain or the victim. I rather like this better.

[vorbarra]

[ In a mutter, ] You make a terrible victim. Or villain. Either or.

You'd just keep trying to save everyone. [ Which Gregor clearly isn't leveling as a criticism, from the amount of fondness that pervades the sentiment. ]

[dendarii]

[ Well, good. Warm fondness in return then - he's sure glad Gregor sees it too. ]

Does that make me the dashing hero then?

[vorbarra]

I've no argument with that.

[dendarii]

Ha ... Not an image I often see.

[ He's pleased though, and his earlier tension passes out of him in waves. ]