[ Oh. Oh. Really? There's another haze of white noise, briefly, Gregor deeply confused at being given something he desperately wants but had never thought to look for, so convinced was he he'd never find it.
He draws away physically, but just because he needs some kind of space to handle this in public (damn, why are they in public for this conversation). Gregor stares down at his loosely laced hands and says in a soft, small voice, ] You don't have to commit to that. It's just a hypothetical. [ It's all too likely it's a moot point, and they'll be back there and not remember anything.
But Miles knows exactly what he's getting into with this-- there's no secondhand words here, of Gregor explaining Barrayar. Miles has already faced the worst sort of prejudice Barrayar has to offer, just about, in a full array of them. Why does Gregor feel like accepting Barrayar, being so happy to have found a way to serve it, speaks so directly to him, some lost part of his soul finally acknowledged by someone personally?
He'd thought he wanted to draw the line between him and Imperium starkly, to keep them separate. To be man and not just Emperor. And he knows he's always valued Miles's ability to meld the two, but he hadn't realized how much felt missing, had been silently waiting for someone to fill the hole carved into him named duty to the Imperium.
He tries to distract from the magnitude of reaction in him with a half-failed attempt at a lighter, ] Why does this feel like you're accepting my child from another marriage?
no subject
He draws away physically, but just because he needs some kind of space to handle this in public (damn, why are they in public for this conversation). Gregor stares down at his loosely laced hands and says in a soft, small voice, ] You don't have to commit to that. It's just a hypothetical. [ It's all too likely it's a moot point, and they'll be back there and not remember anything.
But Miles knows exactly what he's getting into with this-- there's no secondhand words here, of Gregor explaining Barrayar. Miles has already faced the worst sort of prejudice Barrayar has to offer, just about, in a full array of them. Why does Gregor feel like accepting Barrayar, being so happy to have found a way to serve it, speaks so directly to him, some lost part of his soul finally acknowledged by someone personally?
He'd thought he wanted to draw the line between him and Imperium starkly, to keep them separate. To be man and not just Emperor. And he knows he's always valued Miles's ability to meld the two, but he hadn't realized how much felt missing, had been silently waiting for someone to fill the hole carved into him named duty to the Imperium.
He tries to distract from the magnitude of reaction in him with a half-failed attempt at a lighter, ] Why does this feel like you're accepting my child from another marriage?