Childhood's End

[incipit]

WHO: De-aged Dick Gansey III, and you!
WHERE: De Chima
WHEN: During the Pull Point Plot
WHAT: Gansey is de-aged to his ten year old self.
WARNINGS: Anxiety and panic attacks, intense PTSD, fear of insects and death. Also, precocious ten year old child. You have been warned.

A - March 27th: Locked to Raven House

[ It's late in the evening when Gansey vanishes. He'd been in the living room, with his De Chima journal in front of him, working through his maps. He'd been near silent, lost in what he was doing. Then his pen drops, clicking onto the floor and rolling to a stop, because the hand that had been holding it is gone.

A few seconds later, there's a piercing scream from Gansey's room. It's really a balcony more than a room, and the scream - high-pitched, childlike - can be heard throughout the house. Ten year old Dick Gansey has woken up in bed, in clothes that are unfamiliar and far too big for him. They're not the cause of the screaming; he hasn't even noticed them yet. Instead he's clawing at his hair and face, as though he's trying to peel something off his skin. He's not able to hear outside voices, isn't exactly aware of how much is wrong, and it goes on like this for several minutes. Then it seems to die, and Dick comes back to himself in stages. He's breathing hard, and his hands are trembling, but the panic seems to be fading.

Confusion takes its place. He stumbles out of bed, tripping at once on chinos that are double the length he needs. He's dwarfed in his older self's clothes, and even his glasses are too big for his face. New fear threatens; he looks around him recognizing nothing. ]

Mom? Dad? [ These calls start out quiet and get louder, and he's running through the house searching for them. ] Helen! Where are you! Someone help me!

B - 28th March: De Chima; OTA

[ Dick does not know this place. He's sure he doesn't know this place. He walks down De Chima's main street, trying to settle the uneasiness he feels. Because something about it is familiar, or he thinks it is. It's like he's seen it in a dream.

The thought makes him almost sick. First voices in his head, and now this. Is he hallucinating? Is he sick, is it some kind of leftover from what happened to him? He really doesn't understand, and he needs to. He's desperate to. So he walks, unescorted. He's ten years old, and should most likely be in some kind of school right now, but Dick knows that his school isn't here. He can't get help there.

But he finds himself outside a library and wanders in. He can be found, hours later, searching through stacks of history books, which he brings to pile up on a study table. If he happens to come across you, he'll ask for help. ]

Hi. I can't find the section on ley lines? [ He says this as if it's an everyday thing that is generally sought out in public libraries. ] Have you seen it? I got world history, but I don't know where to start with that.

C - 29th - 30th March: De Chima; various locations, OTA

[ For the next few days, Dick explores. The longer he's in De Chima, the more curious he seems. The park draws him, although he stays away from both flower beds and trees. When he first enters it, he stares at both for a while, like he's trying to push himself towards them. Then, looking unhappy, he pulls away instead and goes to sit on a park bench. He's holding two journals that his apparent older self had been been writing in, and he opens them across his lap. One is very full, and packed with information on Glendower. It's stuffed with so much that it threatens to spill everywhere as soon as it's opened. The other has had much less work, and it concerns De Chima, and the other Porter cities. Dick's trying to get his head around them, but it's a lot. He's intimidated by his own work. How had he ever done all of this, and how is he supposed to remember it all? He pushes overly large glasses up on his nose and taps his thumb against his lip. Hours pass like this.

Then there's the times when he explores around the porter building, fascinated by the way people move back and forth. He's about to try it, but as he moves forward, something seems to brush past his ear. It buzzes harmlessly - just a fly, nothing that's dangerous to him. But the reaction is instant, and suddenly there's a crowd gathering around a screaming, horrified ten year old. Dick is on his knees on the pavement, hands over his ears, eyes squeezed shut, and he's in a world of his own. It had only been weeks ago. He feels blackness threatening, and he knows, he knows, that this time he will die. He keeps screaming for help, but it feels like his throat is closing over. He doesn't know it isn't real.

Then, finally, there's the garage. He's aware that Adam works here, and he's lonely. He picks his way between cars and tools, quietly fascinated by all of them. Like the city, there's something about this that's familiar - something that feels like a dream. But Dick knows he's never been in a place like this before. He explores like he'd explored the library, fascinated by all he finds. ]

D - Create your own!

[ If you have a scenario in mind, prompt me! ]

Comments

[rathercommon]

[ There will come a time when Kitty Jones lives in libraries. There will come a time when she immerses herself in reading, in literacy, in knowledge. That time will come in a few years. At age thirteen, she considers reading to be, by turns, something she's proud of and something she's bored by - a skill that she has that lots of other people don't, but at the same time something she had to learn to become a secretary which is a job she desperately doesn't want to do.

And so Kitty Jones is not here to read. She is here because this place, this library, ought to be off limits to her. She oughtn't be able to go in here without a special pass, special permission. And so she is wandering around, a look of vague fascination on her face, straightening every time someone comes near in the expectation that they're going to kick her out. But none of them do. ]

What?

[ She turns her distracted, fascinated gaze towards the little kid who's chatting at her. ] Where to find the - what?

[incipit]

[ Dick draws himself up, squaring his shoulders like his father does when he's talking to someone important. He has to sound, unequivocally, like he knows what he's talking about and like he is in no doubt at all that this is an actual real thing.

And definitely not just something he imagined. It's not that. It can't be that.

Especially not in front of this, a girl. He can't lose face. ]

Ley lines. Books, on ley lines.

[ If he says it with enough confidence, that makes it believable. Right? He blinks, his face all innocence. ]

They have those here, right?

[rathercommon]

[ Her answer is a little embarrassed, and a little aggressive for her embarrassment. Her chin juts out a little, and she crosses her arms. ]

I haven't got any idea what a lay line is.

[ Which is an invitation to explain - though, of course, she's not going to indicate that this is what she wants. ]

[incipit]

[ Faced with a prideful, know-it-all girl, Dick does what any self-respecting ten year old would do.

He channels his prideful, know-it-all boy, and folds his arms over his chest. His overlarge glasses slide partway down his nose, ruining this image. ]

Well, that's why you read about them. To find out what they are.

[ So there. His chin lifts, matching hers. ]

I'm going to find out, and I'm going to find Glendower. That's how libraries work.

C;

[inmyothertights]

[Billy is in a Bad Mood.

First off, this is the second time in a year this has happened. Kitty is a kid again, and Kitty as a child is pretty much unbearable, except he has to bear it. And now he can't seem to find Gansey, or at least, his usual locator spells keep going wonky. He knows Gansey is around but something is weird.

He's in De Chima, then, looking on foot like a fool, when he hears the scream, and the muttering of a crowd, and Billy can't help it. He goes to investigate.

That's when his spell goes off, finally working.

Oh.

Oh, crap.]

Gansey-

Gansey!

[He's pushing people out of the way.]

Come on, nothing to see here, everyone out of the way, hey-

Gansey-

[His hands go to tiny shoulders.]

[incipit]

[ Dick doesn't know who it is. He doesn't know where he is. In his head, he's back in the trees at the foot of the garden, and there are hornets all over his skin and in his hair and in his ears, in his ears -

His fingers claw at them and tear at his hair, and then instinctively he's pushing at the hands on his shoulders. He's afraid of them, too. His eyes are squeezed shut and his whole body is tense and trembling.

He hears his name only distantly. ]

Help, help me, get them off! Get them off they're everywhere I can't -

[ And his words slide back into panic again, fear radiating from every part of him. ]

[inmyothertights]

[Billy's confused; there's nothing here. But what Billy does know is that Gansey is having a panic attack - he recognizes that particular brand of horror right away. Billy Kaplan is nothing if not savvy to panic attacks, as a sufferer himself.

So he picks Gansey up - he's small enough now, that's weird, this is weird and holds onto him, and there's a crash of thunder. The crowd dissipates quickly. That's definitely an imPort problem.]

Hey, look, they're gone. Nothing's there. I took care of it.

come here small son

[aberth]

[ When the screaming starts, Adam flinches so hard he almost punches a hole through the door he was just closing. It sounds muffled and panicked and awful even with his limited hearing and it's something he recognises on a base level. So he's moving towards it without concern or care for his own safety. ( It does not help that it sounds like a child, and while Adam can sometimes be callous about other people, he couldn't stand by while one cried. )

The house is a maze, but eventually he finds himself in the main room, staring at the wide expanse of it. It feels rich, opulent, suffocating. But hiis attention is not caught for long, because then he sees the tiny, shaking figure in the corner. Adam holds his hands out, aiming for as nonthreatening as he can. ] Hey.

[ Did he hear right? Did he hear Helen? ] Hey, it's okay. You're all right. [ His soothing voice is heavily accented, he can't control it when he has to control this moment. ]

[incipit]

[ Dick wheels around. A pair of familiar hazel eyes will fix on Adam, but the fear on Dick's face is real. He still feels at the edge of panic. There's never been a time when his mom or dad hadn't come when he woke up. It happens every night, and they always come.

Except for today. They hadn't come today, and now he can't find them, and he doesn't know this boy. ]

Who are you?

[ He takes a step back, wary and not trusting his own eyes. Is he imagining this? Is he still dreaming?

But there is something familiar about the older boy's face - something that would almost be soothing, if he could trust that instinct at all. Dick shakes his head. ]

Where's my mom? This isn't my house.

[aberth]

[ The eyes.

Adam knows those eyes and yet he's sure he can't possibly. He rubs the heel of his hand over his ear in a fitful gesture then crouches very carefully. He's too tall for this. ]

I'm Adam.

[ He knows Gansey lives here. And Blue, Ronan, Noah, Matthew too. It was all written down in a nice, neat list for him. But he likes to think if anyone adopted a child he'd have mentioned it. ]

This isn't my house either. [ He says it like it's easy, a way to make the frightened boy realise they're on the same side. ] But we can figure it out together.

C

[dogsled]

[ There's a weird old sight in the park today, which can't help tug at Dick's attention even so, a pack of wolves that seem to be sticking to the jogging path as they circle round and round the park. Or, well, on closer inspection they're not wolves. One is, certainly, the largest of the group and pale white from nose to tail, but the second largest is half husky, and the third in the pack is pure Malamute.

They make their circles around the park twice more before the wolf breaks off, leaving the other two to drop on the grass and lay panting in the sun as he approaches Dick. The wolf has uncannily human blue eyes, demonstrating curiosity as he pads silently closer. To be fair, Dick has been sitting there quite a while, long enough for them to finish up their morning walk. He looks lost, and confused, and the wolf - who is really a person - is just there to help. ]

[incipit]

[ Dick likes dogs well enough to not fear them, and while they're running around, he's content to leave them alone. When one comes up to him, though, he pauses, and watches it with just a little ounce of wariness. His hands stay on his book, for now, and he instinctively glances around for the dog's owner.

Come to think of it, he's not seen anyone with any of them. And if their owner was just letting them run for a while, they're not being very sharp about coming to collect the one that's taken an interest in Dick.

A little line of stress appears between Dick's eyebrows. ]

Hey, boy. [ Best to be friendly. Maybe someone does own the dog and they'll hear him talking to it. ] You're a good boy, huh? Who's walking you?

[ He can't see a collar. This dog, with its too-clever eyes, better not be in the mood to bite him. He stays where he is, watching its next move. ]

[dogsled]

[ Fraser had talked about this with Ray before. Stray dogs running around the city, after all, are likely to get themselves picked up by the dog catcher, but at the same time - as Fraser had pointed out - it was very difficult to put a collar on after you'd changed into a wolf, and it would be even more uncomfortable changing back with one on.

He can't smell fear, per se, and while Dick's physical signs demonstrate his uncertainty, Fraser just concentrates on acting friendly. He could change back if he needed to, but dogs...well, dogs made friends easier. He dropped his mouth open in a sort of panting smile, and lurched up onto the bench beside him, wagging his tail lightly as he tried to get a look into the book. It's a polite cant of his head. If Dick wants to pull it away, he has every opportunity to do so.

And well, frankly, Fraser's ability to read in this form is stunted at best. Smells and things are much more distracting. ]

c cw ageism! let me know if anything needs 2 b changed

[pillz]

[some little baby boys are gifted with incredible lungs. kavinsky thinks he used to be one; he can't remember, really, how he used to be, but he know he has a maniac's laugh now, villainous and adrenal. he wonders if the brat screeching down the hall sounded like he did, before he toughened up. echoes jumping off the ceiling.

what the actual fuck, though.

he slams down the porter paperwork pen, says,] Hey, man, don't die of Alzheimer's, I'll be right back, [at the officer posted at the desk. he was halfway through filing that shit out to get to maurtia falls, based on some vague evidence on his phone that he had been there in the preceding weeks. it should bother him, probably, that he has this amnesia, but kavinsky is pretty fucking weird about the things that bother him. he does not like to feel them. he doesn't think it's necessary to feel it, to bother them back.]

Hey. Hey. [his voice is a sharp bark through the brisk, machine-chilled air inside the porter station. he saunters up to the boy, craning his head.] These old fucks are already one goddamn stroke from drooling out on my p-- hey. Whoa. Whoa. [legitimate surprise changes kavinsky's face.] Dick?

[incipit]

[ Dick isn't aware of how many people he might be annoying. He's lost complete track of where he is, when he is, and what he's doing. There isn't a room around him but a copse of trees, and there are no other people, because no one ever comes in time. Even when Kavinsky is in front of him, Dick appears not to see him. He's not aware, not until his screams falter, and he somehow hears his name between them.

His eyes blink open, and he's aware of a boy looking at him. He's aware that the ground is hard beneath him. His screams cut off, strangling in his throat, while in stages he starts to come back to himself.

There's no hornets. There's none, they're not in his ears. So he can take his hands away from them. He makes himself do that, but he can't make himself stop trembling.

His face is more round than Kavinsky would remember, and he completely lacks the control that he prizes in later years. His eyes, though, are the same - hazel and bright, and holding some heavy thing that makes them too old for this face. His voice shakes, too. ]

I...don't know you... [ He frowns, though. Even at this age, he's used to people knowing him better than he knows them. He wipes shameful red streaks away from his face. ] I'm sorry. I don't...know what I was doing.

[pillz]

[it takes a lot to surprise kavinsky these days. it's kind of what happens when one wakes up in a historically-confused and technologically-advanced reinvention of your original planet. twice. i mean he doesn't really remember the first time it happened right now, but he's pretty good at social media, so he put two and two together with the flying cars and drama with the soviets and his physical indestructibility. in the end, he was disconcerted, but not too bothered. there is no point in being bothered if you can't die.

but baby gansey is freaking him out a little. what is this, some benjamin button shit? kavinsky doesn't like the notion of growing backward in time. he doesn't like the notion of being small. he doesn't like the reminder of terrible things that hurt children and then leave wounds behind their eyes. gansey in his polo shirts and imperturbable arrogance, as kavinsky had seen it, would be damn near reassuring right now. he squints at gansey for a long moment.]

It's okay, little man, [he says.] Long as it ain't contagious. I know you after your balls drop. And you got six of them. [he winks in a way that he intends to be reassuring, but in reality, most people would prrrobably prefer such a face remain far away from a little baby such as gansey himself.] I'm Kavinsky. Nice to meet you. [he reaches up with one hand to wipe gansey's snot off his face. he doesn't care about snot.

and he presents gansey with the other one, to shake.]

C!

[doubleblind]

[Cosima has had her hands full keeping teenaged Sarah entertained and at least partially out of trouble the last few days, but that doesn't mean she hasn't taken time for herself. Sarah doesn't want her company all the time and Cosima honestly needs a break. She doesn't remember being this much trouble when she was a teenager.

Cosima's making her way back to work from her lunch break when she hears the boy's horrified screams and sees the crowded gathering around him. She pushes her way through the crowd, glad for once that her ImPort status makes people more than willing to get out of her way when she asks. She kneels next to the boy, offering a hopefully reassuring hand.]

Hey. Hey, it's okay. What's wrong?

[incipit]

[ Dick flinches back, far more aware of Cosima's hand than her voice. His eyes are wild and glassy, his hands shaking.

It's really not clear if he's even talking to her. He just keeps clawing at his own skin. ]

Get them off, get them off! I can't! Breathe!

[doubleblind]

[Cosima stays focused on him, waving the crowd away with one hand. Thankfully, most of them don't linger and they're given some much needed space. She tries to take one of his hands, hoping to stop his frantic scratching.]

They're gone, okay? Everyone's gone.

WILDCARD

[dreamkid]

[ It's Saturday, and Gansey has been a ten-year-old for nearly a week.

So that's pretty weird, though truthfully Matthew has yet to devote any excess measure of thought to figuring out what happened or why. One of the benefits of not being a real person is simplification, and Matthew has been processing all of this in a very simplifying kind of way.

Gansey is ten now. That's happening. Luckily Matthew is good with ten-year-olds, in the same way that he is good with most anyone. Since it's Saturday, his day off, and yesterday's paycheck is burning a hole in his pocket--figuratively, of course; retro-yet-also-futuristic America doesn't even do paper checks--he's taking Gansey out for the day. (A few more things he's picked up in recent days: wasps, bees, and hornets are very bad. Junk food is good. Gansey needs more good things in his life, and zero wasps.)

They step off the bus in De Chima proper and Matthew smiles at him, pleased in the way of a youngest sibling who's found someone to be his little brother for a while. ]

So, pizza, right?

[incipit]

[ Dick has gotten pretty used to the bus this week. He'd taken it with Adam, and he'd taken it alone, which had pleased Dick far more than it had pleased Adam. It leaves him very comfortable with De Chima, though, and he'd been comfortable with Matthew from the start. Ronan and his brother couldn't actually be more different, as far as Dick can see, but he likes both of them.

He stays close to Matthew on the street, not actually touching him but never wandering far. ]

Pizza's great. You think they have somewhere that does deep dish? I want to get sausage and avocado.

[ Which will not be a surprise at all, if Matthew has ever had food with Gansey before. His age may change, but that never will. ]

[dreamkid]

[ Matthew laughs, and it's such a gentle, happy sound that it's clear he's not laughing at Gansey. ]

I don't know for sure, [ he admits, but he sounds very optimistic about it. ] But we'll check this place out. If they don't have it, we'll go somewhere else.

[ "This place" is a little hole in the wall that he's seen on his way to work, which advertises pizza both by the pie and by the slice--pretty sure he knows which they're going to go for--as well as fresh side salads and cannoli for dessert. Matthew has been eager to check it out for a while, and now he has a perfect reason.

Hopefully they have what Gansey wants because Matthew doesn't immediately know of any other pizza places. ]

It's just a little further down this street.

[ He points and then starts off, trusting Gansey--Dick, that is--to follow him. It's an interesting little street, the kind that can't seem to make up its mind. There's a church on the corner, and then a bit further is a kitschy consignment store, and then not far beyond that there's some kind of bar, all of them pressed close together with very little space for parking anywhere. Matthew leads him past all of these things. ]

c!

[earnedmystripes]

[There's an older man kneeling in front of Gansey, suddenly. Not as old as Gansey's teenage self would remember, nearly pushing forty, but right at the end of young adulthood into adulthood proper, about twenty-six.]

Hey--hey! What's wrong? I'm here to help, okay? But you gotta tell me. C'mon, look at me.

[incipit]

[ Dick is not currently capable of looking at anyone. He does open his eyes, but they're glassy and indistinct, focusing on nothing that exists in the real world. He keeps clawing at his skin, especially his arms and his ears. ]

Get them off --

Gotta get them off!!!

[ But there's nothing there, nothing to be seen. There's faint scratches on his arms from his own nails, but no indication that there's anything on him at all. ]

[earnedmystripes]

[...Get what off? He looks uncertainly, openly distressed by the child's panic for a moment. He's a very new Hero at this point, and technically not even a father yet, since his baby was just in the process of being born when he got pulled here.

Then he gently reaches out and tries to take hold of Gansey's arms so he can no longer scratch and claw at himself.]

Shh, shhhhh. There's nothing on you. You're safe, okay? Nothing's gonna hurt you.