OPEN

[burnseternal]

WHO: Saint Walker and YOU.
WHERE: In every Porter City to make sure imPorts of every city have access to some good old fashioned meditation!
WHEN: Throughout March.
WHAT: As per this post, Saint Walker is offering meditation lessons -- people tagging in needn't respond to that post to participate, however. All of my starters will be geared towards meditation classes, but if you want to play out anything else, feel free to PM me or PP me at feygasm!
WARNINGS: None anticipated.



A: HEROPA

[Heropa is, in truth, where Saint Walker prefers to give his lessons. Not because he lives there - to commute between cities is but a trifling thing - but because it features a quiet, peaceful beach ideal for meditation. While it's possible to meditate no matter the locale, it's always easier for beginners to have nothing but the sounds of nature and Saint Walker's harp to distract them from their task.

Saint Walker is easy enough to spot on the beach, as blue and alien as he is, but even if he goes unnoticed, he's got an eye out for any of his potential students coming towards him. He floats in mid-air, legs crossed and hands resting gently on his knees as he surveys his surroundings.

Even if you're not here for meditation classes, there's certainly no harm in saying hello.]

B: NONAH/MAURTIA FALLS/DE CHIMA

[In the absence of a nearby beach in the remaining Porter cities, Saint Walker has located nearby forests for meditation purposes. It may not be as sunny and warm as Heropa, but the air is clean and fresh, and Saint Walker knows that there's a small river - more of a creek, really - not so far away that they may use to their advantage. To prevent others from getting lost, he lingers at the entrance of the forest, hands wrapped around a thermos of green tea he had made at home, large enough to provide cups for anyone who may decide to attend his lessons.]

C: WILDCARD

[Want to do anything else? Go to the library? To a cafe? Catch him flying about town, or playing his instrument publicly? Just let me know, and I'll be happy to write a starter for you, or respond to one made for me!]

Comments

[burnseternal]

We cannot match our trauma against another's. When, then, would one's trauma be distinct enough to hold onto? One frightful experience? One loss? Two? Three? [Saint Walker shakes his head.] In this universe that we now call home, brother, there are people who have many different lives, and have faced joys and trials greater and smaller than your own. When you look at yourself as something to be measured then, I am afraid, you will never measure up. Instead, offer yourself the dignity of having your own experiences, and judging them by their own merits, and not the experiences of others.

[It's a mouthful, perhaps, but one that Saint Walker thinks is important. It's a problem he has heard time and time again. How can I be so troubled over fighting with my husband when another has lost her child? How can I grieve for my child when another has lost everything that she has? How can I grieve my loss when I am still so well taken care of by my community?

Guilt. Guilt over feeling deeply and truly transcends cultural barriers, and Walker wishes deeply that he could be rid of it for once and for all, for the good of everyone involved.]

I believe this is a truth that you must accept before you are able to truly move on. It is not surprising that you are having difficulties expressing your emotions without panicking when they are so deeply intertwined with your feelings of inadequacy and guilt.

[quaerit]

[ It's neither a short answer, nor one that's very easy to hear. Especially not for someone like Gansey, who has spent so long chaining his fears, and crafting for himself a persona that's strong. He needs to be strong. He despises the weakness in himself that makes him a coward.

But all of that just proves Walker's point. This is why he's having trouble.

He doesn't answer right away, but refocuses his body. He carefully, deliberately, releases the tension from his hands and shoulders, makes himself calm down again. He concentrates on breathing evenly. Only when he thinks he's managed that does he let himself address any of this.

That's part of feeling in control, too. ]

I know that what you're saying makes sense. It's logical. I can see that.

It's not easy to do. Do you think that...that meditating, like this, will help me to do it?

[burnseternal]

[Saint Walker sees the way that Gansey slowly relaxes once more, and as deliberate it is, it's a good sign that he can at least try to force himself to ease some of the pain of what's been plaguing him.]

I believe that it would help put things into perspective, yes. It will not cure what ails you alone, nor will the change be fast, or easy -- but I do believe it can help you along that path, if you are willing to travel with me to the eventual destination.

[He smiles, and it's a little sad, but a little hopeful as well.]

You are not lost, Gansey. You have a strong spirit. You simply need to afford yourself the time to be weak as well.

[quaerit]

[ Gansey nods. There's a muscle in his jaw that keeps moving, but he's agreeing, and doing what he can to master himself.

Take the time to be weak. He has spent a very long time making himself be strong, and it feels strange to be telling himself to unlock that door.

He'll listen, though. He'll try. ]

I would like to do it. To travel with you, if you...wouldn't mind helping me. I would appreciate that.

[ He looks up, his smile a little crooked. ]

Thank you.

[burnseternal]

On the contrary, Gansey, it would be my pleasure. I am honoured that you have trusted me with this information and, with it, with your journey. I do believe that together, we may forge a way to a healthier, happier life for you.

[And for all that sounds like a cheesy infomercial, Saint Walker says it genuinely. There's a certain sort of passion behind one's words that can make even platitudes sound new, after all.]

And simply saying as much is a very important first step. It is no small thing, to admit to requiring help, and to speak of your own problems. I commend you for that, truly, I do.

[quaerit]

[ Gansey feels himself smile. That kind of statement would sound ridiculous coming from anyone else. Walker says it with enough gravitas that it actually sounds real. ]

I hope that this goes without saying, but you will…keep it between us, won’t you?

[ Talking about this is not an easy thing to do. It’s Walker’s personality, and his kindness, that makes Gansey comfortable enough to reach out to him. He doesn’t think he could do it with anyone else. ]

Not everyone is so understanding as you. This is one thing I’m not very good at talking about.

[burnseternal]

I think that you will find that those you consider near and dear to your heart may be more understanding than you may believe. But no, I will not tell anyone else -- that is your duty, not my own.

[He offers Gansey a smile, then, one that almost looks wry.]

Believe me when I say that I am well accustomed to keeping others' secrets. You are safe with me.