We cannot match our trauma against another's. When, then, would one's trauma be distinct enough to hold onto? One frightful experience? One loss? Two? Three? [Saint Walker shakes his head.] In this universe that we now call home, brother, there are people who have many different lives, and have faced joys and trials greater and smaller than your own. When you look at yourself as something to be measured then, I am afraid, you will never measure up. Instead, offer yourself the dignity of having your own experiences, and judging them by their own merits, and not the experiences of others.

[It's a mouthful, perhaps, but one that Saint Walker thinks is important. It's a problem he has heard time and time again. How can I be so troubled over fighting with my husband when another has lost her child? How can I grieve for my child when another has lost everything that she has? How can I grieve my loss when I am still so well taken care of by my community?

Guilt. Guilt over feeling deeply and truly transcends cultural barriers, and Walker wishes deeply that he could be rid of it for once and for all, for the good of everyone involved.]

I believe this is a truth that you must accept before you are able to truly move on. It is not surprising that you are having difficulties expressing your emotions without panicking when they are so deeply intertwined with your feelings of inadequacy and guilt.