I GET KNOCKED DOWN

[helpline]

WHO: Heropa 11 + open to anyone who'd be around Heropa 11
WHERE: ....Heropa 11
WHEN: all over early February
WHAT: god bless this trainwreck of a house
WARNINGS: Heropa 11

What does Heropa 11 look like? Who knows, man, we're playing this by ear. It's a bizarre mix of Hazel's plants, Saint Walker's calming aura, the Doctor's half-finished projects, so many feathers from the skateboarding owl, Hazel's art supplies, soy candles everywhere, Kirk's one night stands, and everybody's mess. The kitchen occasionally smells a little bit off because somebody still needs practice at cooking (cough the Doctor cough). There's probably a few mugs that are paint water mugs, don't drink them. Make fun of Kirk if he accidentally phases through the sofa and please for the love of god try and keep it slightly quiet for poor Saint Walker (it will never be quiet enough for poor Saint Walker.)

We're playing this fast and loose so set up your own starter and let's go hog wild. The stupider the better, shitpost to your heart's content.

Comments

[burnseternal]

The occupation of a private detective is a perfectly respectable one, I would think. And I'm afraid that I am not one, and therefore don't have an easy answer to this puzzle. Unless they, as many people do here, desire to disguise their inhumanity?

[It's the closest guess he's got, really. Otherwise, he doubts they'd have anything to do with Hazel.]

[deadtective]

I was a private detective that specialized in supernatural bullshit. I'm a human that made my fucking money by holding a bunch of shitbags accountable for playing with people like toys when they feel like they're entitled to that.

It's not hard to figure out.

[burnseternal]

You feel that the supernatural community as a whole is unjust, and combated against it in your own way, then.

[Somehow, he's not surprised to hear that she did what she felt was morally correct; he recalls running into her in Pan's forest, after all, and she had no reason to be there save for the ability to help another.]

If that is the case, then I can see why you would not put much stock in their community's opinion of you.

[Of course, that begs the question...]

You say that they played with others like toys. Did your involvement in their affairs not put a target on you specifically?

[deadtective]

[he's wrong. he's so wrong and Hazel can't even correct him without revealing more of her true situation than she'd ever want to. it burns in the pit of her stomach to be interpreted so incorrectly, to have her actions painted up as far better than the were. better than they ever could be.

at least his question gives her a reason to scowl at the television screen as she takes the ugly storm of negative thoughts in her mind out on whoever she's playing against. Hazel's not even keeping track of her opponents anymore.]

Fucking christ, how could it not? I'm wrecking their shit and I'm a pain in the ass to deal with.

[her frown deepens, the kind of look that threatens to freeze in place. Hazel's working to cover up more things that could be seen as compassionate.]

But better someone who can fucking deal with it than not, right? If they're trying to rip me open they're not doing it to anybody else.

[burnseternal]

[It is, somewhat predictably, Saint Walker's way to take an optimistic view on those around him. He's generally a good judge of character otherwise, but Hazel's constant frowning makes it difficult for him to get a hold on her. He'll need to learn how to distinguish between her frowns sometime, he supposes, but he has not yet ascended to that level of skill.

He can tell that she's unhappy, of course, but whether that's because of the subject matter, because she's unhappy with the praise, or because of some other, unknown reason, he doesn't know.]

That is one way to look at it. One that many that I know look at it, in fact. But I suppose that begs the question: why is it that you are uniquely suited to deal with them when others around you are not?

[deadtective]

Because I can see them.

[she does actually have an "answer" lined up for questions like that, and it comes out immediately - a merit borne less of inherent skill and more habit. how many times has she explained this particular claim away? at this point Hazel's lost count.]

Most humans aren't sensitive enough to even notice half the fuckers wandering around. Helps that I know what the hell I'm doing, too.

[burnseternal]

I see. That is different from those who qualify as supernatural here -- for the most part. I am certain that there must be some invisible exceptions.

[That raises more questions than it does answers, however, and he gazes at Hazel with renewed curiosity.]

That begs the question: how is it that you can see them?

[deadtective]

If there are, I don't wanna know about them.

[she can't help but wonder if she already does and doesn't even realize it. it's the sort of thing that keeps her from ever fully forgetting that this isn't truly her body any longer.]

And I told you already, I'm sensitive. Some people are just fucking like that, but they're smart enough to start a phone line psychic business or some bullshit instead of chasing stupid goddamn bullshit crimes.

[burnseternal]

Mm.

[Sensitive... that's not much of an explanation, but at least Saint Walker's not much for science anyway. Much of what he does is up to feeling, up to what his gut says, so perhaps it would be hypocritical of him to doubt her. But again and again, he feels that he's not sure who Hazel is, precisely, and this is the closest he's gotten to finding out.]

In that case, why did you decide to put a target on your own back? Surely there is an impetus for such a decision.

[deadtective]

Yeah, and it's fucking cash.

[she rolls her eyes like that should be obvious, even if nothing could be further from the truth. no one pays her. no one even asks her to do the things she does. but there's no place for that, especially not here.]

Having no competition whatsoever means that the profits I pull are ridiculous.

OOPS SORRY ABOUT THAT

[burnseternal]

Under which scenario does one hire you, in that case? These people are typically invisible to a human's eye - is it common knowledge that when invisible calamity strikes, it is from the supernatural?

[Don't worry, Hazel, he's trying to figure that out too; who would pay Hazel for that?]

CHRIST THAT WAS TERRIFYING

[deadtective]

You advertise as being able to solve impossible cases. Nine times out of ten there's some spooky fucker behind it.

[also a simple explanation. it's a little depressing how coherent her story has become over time.]

I KNOW, I'M SORRY

[burnseternal]

I suppose you must have cultivated your powers of investigation for that one case out of ten.

it's late enough that i thought mods were coming in to tell me how wrong my worldbuilding was lmao

[deadtective]

I do actually know how to do my fucking job, as hard as that apparently is for people to believe.

HAHAH GOD NO, YOUR MODS ARE JUST FORGETFUL SOMETIMES

[burnseternal]

I do not find it difficult to believe in the least! It simply seems to me that specializing in the supernatural would necessitate a proclivity for being able to see them first and foremost, and not investigation. You do not possess that occupation here, however, correct?

well boy do i feel that no judgement here

[deadtective]

Seeing them isn't enough to figure out which asshole to pin it on when they're all fucking shady as hell.

[if anything deciding to specialize in supernatural crimes means you need to be twice as sharp as the average detective. at least you do if everyone's as shitty as they are in Hazel's world.]

I've got a regular private detective's license here, but I just take freelance shit to kill time. It's not really that important to me.

[burnseternal]

I was not aware that you shared that occupation here! Most don't, I find.

[He smiles at her, because, well, of course he does.]

I am glad that you are able to maintain your vocation, no matter what world you happen to be in. I do not know very much about you, Hazel. It is something I am happy to amend.

[deadtective]

[all he gets in return is a flat, fairly disgruntled look. if Walker were a less relentlessly cheerful person, she might feel a little bad about him being so excited to "learn" about her. as it is, well...]

You know I don't actually like the job all that much, right?

[burnseternal]

If that is the case, then why continue doing so? [He waves one languid hand in her direction.] For money, you may say, but in a place such as this? We have many, many options before us.

[deadtective]

Because I've got a limited skillset and no fucking motivation whatsoever.

[seriously, it's three in the morning and she's up playing video games. this isn't a girl who projects "got her shit together"-ness.]

[burnseternal]

On the contrary, the skillset needed to be a private investigator doubtlessly translates well to other avenues of work.

[Look, he's a literal hermit. This is nothing.]

[deadtective]

Yeah, criminal ones.