( haunting flute cover of yakety sax )

[airshow]

WHO: James Jesse & VARIOUS EXCITING PEOPLE
WHERE: Porter cities.
WHEN: February.
WHAT: The sky is blue and Trickster is annoying. A catch-all!
WARNINGS: Bad decisions, stripes, and maybe PG swearing.

Comments

2/01 - PIPER

[airshow]

[ If he were to grade himself on how gracefully he'd handled his recent string of romantic problems on a scale of 1 to 10, he would have to give himself a solid 8.5, which is like a 15 if he's grading himself on a curve, which he absolutely is. All things considered, Harley breaking his nose was deserved and he did apologize after a whole lot of angry encouragement, and Piper kinda-sorta rejecting him on Christmas even though the holly thing was totally smooth sucked but he only spent a week on Barry Allen's couch binging on zebra cakes when he could've gone out and painted the town pink with bubble gum.

Really, it could have been way worse. Someone could have died. Namely: him.

It was all well and good right up until that traitorous nerd went behind his back and told Piper that he had feelings — actual feelings! multiple feelings! — and, to make matters worse, Piper had totally freaking lied. Right to his face! He'd played James like a fiddle, or a flute, or a sousaphone, or whatever musical metaphor is most appropriate for finding out that your best and/or only remaining friend can look you right in the eyes and pretend he doesn't know why you're sulking in front of an all day Storage Wars marathon. Like it doesn't even matter. Like he thinks you're a chump.

Rejection is one thing, but no one tricks the Trickster.

It's a lovely evening in February when James bursts into the soup kitchen where Hartley's currently volunteering, five feet of striped scarf fluttering behind him, and bounds his way up to the counter with a smile on his face that is not, in fact, particularly friendly. ]

Outta the way, folks, I've got an appointment. Piper! Buddy! Pal! We need to Talk.

[ You know how sometimes you can just hear a very important capital letter? Yeah. ]

[countdone]

[Piper's been thinking about what happened that night a lot. Before Cisco told him, he'd never have considered the idea of James having a crush on him--for years he was mentally filed under "straight, not gonna happen" and even after he started to suspect that James might actually be into men...well, years of thinking of the idea of James being interested in him as impossible didn't just disappear.

And now that Piper'd actually had a lot of time to think about things, he...still didn't know what he wanted to do about it. At this point he couldn't really deny that liked James, and would probably be stupid and crazy enough to accept if James asked him out, but getting to that point was a problem. Waiting until James was ready to tell him was probably the best idea, but it sure did suck to have to deal with the awkward position that left him in in the meantime.

So he may have been avoiding the problem a bit instead of dealing with it.

Unfortunately, the problem has just found him, so he's gonna try (probably fail) to act casual.]

Now's not really a good time, if you didn't notice.

[airshow]

[ Oh, casual is the wrong way to act. Not that he knows what the right way would be, but that? Not it. Pay attention to him, damn it! ]

Well, [ James says, resting an elbow against the counter and leaning in, ] "Not Really A Good Time" happens to be my middle name. Though I've been thinking about getting it changed to "Making A Scene."

[countdone]

[OH BOY.]

What has you so worked up that you can't wait until my shift is over, then?

[airshow]

Cisco spilled the beans.

[ He drums his fingers on the counter. ]

Buuuuuuut if you're too busy, I could go get a coffee and wait. [ If Piper wants to deal with Trickster after a coffee. ]

[countdone]

Cisco spilled the beans about what exactly?

[Yeah, definitely failing at acting casual.]

[airshow]

[ He'd feel kinda bad about putting Piper on the spot like this if Piper hadn't just totally lied to him the other day. Unfortunately... ]

C'mon, Piper, you know I know you're not dumb.

[countdone]

Okay, okay--I'm not exactly sure what he told you but I won't pretend I don't have any idea. [SIGH.] But do you really think right here, right now is the best way to talk about this?

[airshow]

[ Well, at least he's being honest now. Begrudgingly. Under pressure. Which counts for almost nothing. Is James enough of a hypocrite to be cranky about that?

He totally is. ]

No, but you know I'm an impatient person! It's impressive that I'm not making a real scene, you know... [ Impulse control! He's practically bouncing here! ANGRY BOUNCING. ] Fine. Pick a time and place. Your call.

[countdone]

And I'm very glad that you aren't! [He's trying to be the patient one here. He really is.] Look, we can talk as soon as I'm done here, alright?

[heliophilic]

[M was looking for Cisco.

He stepped out of the Door into Cisco's garage-turned-lab, hoping his boyfriend had some sort of update on the asset tech he'd given him several weeks before. Since he came straight here from work, he was still wearing his work clothes, though his hands had sliding up to remove the cowl until he took in the sight in front of him.

There was some sort of human eyesore rifling through Cisco's belongings, seeming to touch everything simply because he could. The man's shirt practically blinded him with its garishly bright stripes. M stood there for several seconds, waiting for the stranger to notice his presence, but when that failed, he loudly cleared his throat before the other man stumbled upon the asset implant.]

If you value your fingers, you'll remove them from... whatever the hell that is.

[airshow]

[ Okay, so he noticed, but he didn't exactly care. Listen, when you've been shot at by cops and punched in the poor delicate face by all manner of superheroes, you learn to ignore quiet intrusions until they're absolutely necessary. It's not until the very intimidating man actually addresses him that James turns around, hands splayed cheerily, a broad grin on his face. ]

It's two thirds of a jetpack, I think! You know, I've always wanted a jetpack, but the whole "you can already fly" thing and the "you'll light your ass on fire" thing both kinda kept that plan on the backburner. But an old man from space wants to help me put one on a crocodile someday, so I figured...

[heliophilic]

[The second Eyesore opens his mouth, M instantly regrets not immediately punching him in the face and calling it a day. What is it with idiots and their chronic side effect of diarrhea of the mouth?]

Word of advice: you aren't nearly as clever as you think you're being right now. Now shut up, take a breath, then give me one good reason why I shouldn't take you out now and leave you for the occupants of this house to deal with.

[airshow]

Barrence and Cisquito would be really sad if they had to mop me up off the garage floor, for one.

[heliophilic]

[It takes him a moment to realize that he just came up with quite possibly the most obnoxious names for Barry and Cisco ever, and the guy wasn't trying to pull his chain.]

Trust me, there'd be nothing to clean up.

[airshow]

It'd be more threatening if there was. Like a weird puddle of gristle or, I dunno, scattered finger bones...

[ He's taking this all very well! ]

[heliophilic]

I have no intention of threatening them.

[Sorry, Eyesore, you aren't the first annoying idiot he's come across. You are, however, the worst dressed.]

[airshow]

Just threatening me on their behalf? Man, you're a sweet guy.

[heliophilic]

It's part of the boyfriend package. Now get out.

[airshow]

The boyfriend package?

[ Oh ho ho. ]

So you're the 1/26th of the alphabet I've heard so much about!

pre-seminar takeover stuff!

[moded]

[It's been way too long since Bart did a proper check-in on the rogues. And while he should be dragging Piper and Trickster to the pinnacle of getting along-ness (burgers), he... may have something a little selfish in mind with this visit.

Because. Well. Bart's seen a lot of Trickster's gadgets since he got here. He's seen them, heard about them, has dented at least three walls whilespacing out thinking about the wonders of a bubblegum gun and cotton candy grenades (okay, the second one might have been something he came up with, but. It was Trickster inspired.) and you know what? Today he's gonna see if the ex-villain feels like donating some cool gadget time to the superhero populace!

With... the superhero populace being Bart. And the cool gadget time actually being shoes. Flying shoes.

Bart Allen wants to fly.

Which is the entire reason why he's actually knocking on Trickster's door, armed with the bribery efforts of like half a burger and four fries.

He got hungry while running.

.............. and while waiting for Trickster to open the door. Uh.

--armed with the bribery efforts of a quarter of a burger!]

[airshow]

[ He recognizes that knock. It's a speedster knock. No one else sounds that much like a giant woodpecker trying to headbutt its way into his apartment. So, just to build anticipation (read: be extra extra annoying) he takes his time moseying over to his front door. ]

Kiddo! To what do I owe the pleasure? [ ... burger ... ] Started starving on the way over, huh? Are they feeding you enough at wherever the heck you live?

[moded]

[

somehow, Bart hasn't wasted away to nothing by the time the door opens. Somehow, he hasn't died of old age in the time between his knock and anything, y'know, happening.]

I'm not starving I just figured since we haven't done burgers in a while I should totally bring one over y'know for old times sake and dude I get more than enough food I mean I make money and I get free food a lot [sometimes even without claiming scavenger rights!] do you still have that ball pit?

[Bart stands on his tip toes, leaning forward and trying his best to peek nosily behind James into the depths of his apartment.]

[airshow]

[ Because James is a good person, or at least extremely weak when it comes to cute kids, he steps aside and lets the little gremlin inside. Wait, is he offering him burger leftovers? Kid. ]

Like I'd ever willingly stop having a ball pit. What do you take me for, a responsible adult or something?

—you can go ahead and finish that burger, by the way. I mean, you might as well.

[moded]

[Look. Look. It had started out as a well thought out gift! And then it. Y'know. Took a left turn into a ditch.]

Totally not-- uh. I mean you are but not like y'know Superman but I don't think anyone can really be Superman I mean he can fly around the world helping everyone and make cookies for the people he's hanging out with it's really crash but I don't think you're like that but you're also not not responsible you do things I mean you haven't been arrested in a while!

[Bart's just making himself at home, zipping around Trickster's living room like he owns the place.

And, you know, shoving the rest of that burger into his mouth even as he's asking: ] You sure? Cause it's a really good burger!