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I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars.

WHO: Jesse & Ozzie
WHERE: some shady bar where villains definitely don't hang out trust me
WHEN: let's call it Monday night
WHAT: Jesse needs an investor.
WARNINGS: meth

[This looks like the place. Jesse checks the address one more time to be sure, but from the looks of the bar's exterior, this is exactly where his type of business meeting ought to go down. Thank fucking god for the little familiar things.

He's not too worried about walking into a trap as he pushes the door open and makes his way inside. If there's one thing his stupid power's good for, it's surviving a gunshot wound or fifteen. The bigger problem would be getting nailed by a narc, but he's definitely not worried about that one. Not with this guy.

The rest of it's nothing. Selling someone on his product has never been the problem. And he's sober now, so he figures he won't have to convince anyone that he's not a fuck-up, either. He expects this to go smoothly. That's why he looks so damn confident when he saunters up to Mr. Cobblepot, the man himself.]

Hey. Thanks for taking the time.

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[ Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot the third looked every bit the part that his name suggested. Even without the weight of his nightclub to push behind his name, he still had the appearance of the sort of person who was either too full of himself, or had something up his sleeve. Of course, Oswald wanted to watch his investments carefully, and he wasn't about to just toss money at anyone.

Not his carefully invested and saved money. He may not make much as a consultant for the zoo, but that's what investments and stock markets were for. He had a knack for somehow turning very little into quite a bit -- even without criminal activity -- as any wholly legitimate businessman would never set foot in such activities.

Of course, the Penguin, on the other hand, was not only a crafty businessman, but also a sharp and intelligent criminal. He stood, to reach over the table, cigarette lit in his cigarette holder, and he reached out, his other hand remained curled over the head of his umbrella. Oddly, the twisted end looked like a bird's head. ]

Of course, of course. Jesse, was it?

Jesse Pinkman, yeah. Nice meeting you. Like, in person.

[Funny, how polite he gets when he needs something. He's still very much the awkward kid playing at this criminal game. He might have lied a little (or a lot) to a few people about being a kingpin back home. He's no mastermind. He's just a salesman and a decent chemist. And he knows when he's coming face-to-face with the real deal. His tell is in the way he ducks his head a bit when he shakes Oswald's hand, that subtle and unconscious acknowledgement of his own place: beneath.]

[ There were signs that Oswald would like someone, immediately. The way he watched him, appraised him was nothing short of looking over a piece of meat -- or maybe the cuts of the drug -- an expert looking over to see if he would find it acceptable.

Deferment helped Jesse's case. He knew how to act around people like Oswald, obviously, and it worked in his favor. The man's pride, after all, was so high it practically burst, and chancing his ire was something most people knew not to do.

He tipped his hand to the other seat, pleased smile on his face. ]

Of course, of course, something to drink, before we begin?

[ Ozzie, of course, already had a highball with amber liquid catching the light. The service had to be good, to get Oswald's patronage for any length of time. ]

[Jesse glances at the drink as he settles into his seat.]

Ah, yeah. I'll have what you're having.

[For all the good it'll do him. Two fat rails of cocaine barely lasted him five minutes. Alcohol's like water to him now. His superpower is the fucking worst. The best he can do is flatter the guy with imitation. Anyway, he can tell a lot about a person by what they're drinking.]

[ He nodded, and waved a hand, the waitstaff already promptly jumping to their feet to please the Penguin.

This wasn't even his place, and yet he moved like it was. Oswald may be a squat, short little man with an inflated sense of ego, but he did because he knew what he could command, with just the right influence.

He commanded it, because people didn't know what to make of him. Surely he was someone important, right?

He waved a hand, with the cigarette holder, a trail of smoke wafting and running along the line. As soon as she brought the drink, he smiled, and nodded to her. She scooted back faster than most would find possible. The staff knew what to do. ]

Excellent, now, why don't you tell me a little about this proposal?

[Jesse notices the atmosphere, the way these people jump at Oswald's command, and he likes it. It tells him he came to the right place. The only obstacle now is presenting this in a way that doesn't offend. Important people look down on meth. They think it's dirty. They picture motel labs with soda bottles and sinus pills. There are plenty of crime lords out there who'd tell Jesse to fuck himself if he came to them for an investment in a meth lab.

He takes a sip of his drink before beginning the pitch:]

I'm into pharmaceuticals. I know I don't look it, but I'm one of the best at what I do. Back home, I worked in a million-dollar lab and me and my partners were pulling in a hundred million a year. I had a guy there who financed everything - the equipment, the supplies, the distribution - and he got a fat fifty-percent cut of that hundred for his trouble.

I was wondering how you'd like to be that guy for me here.

[ Pharmaceuticals. That was such a pretty, clean term for what they were really talking about. Oswald wondered, for a moment, if he were working toward an angle, was he with the police, perhaps? Had Montoya decided that she had enough, and should orchestrate a sting?

But that wasn't her style, not really. She was smart, a clever girl, but she was also spiteful, which meant she wasn't about to orchestrate something this underhanded and clever. The powers that be, as well, had no reason to suspect him. ]

That's quite the profit. All of these things, of course, take a hefty investment to get started. Are you discreet? [ An investment wasn't an investment, if he had to pay people off, or spend all his profit into holding his hand. ]

I been at this for a long time and never been caught. You seen me. Everybody thinks I'm an idiot. It's gonna stay like that. They wouldn't let me work with kids if they thought I was up to something.

Far as the investment goes, we don't need a lab that big to start. I'll get an RV and put everything in there. Fifty Gs is all I need. You'll make it back in two weeks or else you can break both my legs.

[And he says that with total confidence.]

[ Or else you can break both my legs. Not many people would make such an offer. Not many people were stupid -- or confident -- enough to make that offer. Not with Oswald, who was likely going to readily take that offer, and use it, if the deal wasn't complete.

If it was, however...

Well, it was nothing to turn his nose up at. ]

I see. That's a bargain, you know. How do we know what you're attempting to make is...quality? I won't have my investments ending up dead in the streets.

[ Unless it was of his own doing. His thoughts drifted to Mirror Master, and the time he'd killed him with his own addiction.

Ah, but that revenge had been worth it. ]

[What the gentleman probably doesn't know is that having his legs broken isn't a big deal to Jesse anymore, given his regeneration abilities. But more than that: Jesse knows he can deliver. He can actually deliver more than he's promising, but he's allowing for speedbumps, given that this is an unfamiliar world in many ways.]

That's the beautiful thing about chemistry: it don't lie. There's this machine called a gas chromatograph. Chemists use it for testing the purity of, like, basically anything. It'll be part of our lab setup and you can check the product anytime. My stuff is pure, unadulterated, and cleaner than any cocaine you get coming outta the jungle. I don't cut it with anything. There's no fillers. It delivers the best high and it is exactly what the customer's looking for. Nothing else.

Really? [ He sounded interested, and he leaned forward.

His interest, as people said, was well piqued. ]

Perhaps we should discuss the terms of this deal. If I'm paying for something, I expect delivery. [ He looked at his drink, before he finished it. The guy was confident, and he'd picked up on what Oswald had been telling him easily and readily.

Good man. ]

Perhaps you should consider that you have someone to assist you in this endeavor.

[Jesse tries to not look too much like an excited puppy here, but this is going great. Really, really great, compared to every other time he's tried to appeal to a benefactor.

He wonders if Mr. White would be proud.]

With your investment, I'll have production handled. I can put the lab together and run it by myself, no problem. 'course, if you got connections in chemical warehouses, that makes my job finding precursor a lot easier.

But the real snag is distribution. I can get you product a lot faster than I can sell it by myself. I don't got a network here like you do. If you got your own dealers, I can work with them and keep the product moving smoothly. Then you just sit back while the cash stacks.

Oh, you will hardly worry about moving the product. [ He let his fingers glide on the table, as if he were lying something out before him. ]

I know people. [ Of course he did. Oswald made it a point to acquaint himself with the local criminal underground early on. ] I will acquaint you with who should be distributing until I have my own.

Unfortunately, empires take more than three months to build, but they will happen soon enough.

[Jesse's face lights up. Look at him, like it's fucking Christmas.]

Perfect. That's perfect. So, um, numbers-wise... Assuming it all goes smooth with getting precursor, I can deliver fifty pounds a week. Back home, I was selling that at forty thousand a pound. I did a little research down in Miami and I'm thinking we could probably move it for the same price here, but if you think we oughta aim higher...

Eventually, eventually.

[ He nodded, letting his fingers move on the table, as if he were counting down pieces on a chessboard. ]

We start at a comparable to lower rate than the rest of our competitors. We build the trust and the clientele first. Then, we ensure ours is the one they'll turn to.

[ By buying out and eliminating competitors. Oswald had done this before. Too many times. ]

Then, we start raising the prices.

[It takes Jesse a second to figure out if he's hearing right. Start at a lower rate? Obviously it's the smart thing to do, but it's something his former partner would never have suggested or agreed to. In fact, he'd flip his shit if Jesse brought it up.

It's going to take some getting used to, working with someone who's business-savvy instead of someone who just thinks he is.]

Right on. Once they get a taste, we'll wipe out the competition.

Precisely.

[ Oswald laughed. ]

And once they have a taste, and the competition is wiped, then we lift the prices. Make sure they have only one place to go to for their fix.

I'm glad to hear that you'll recognize it's best to do things my way, when it comes to business. Some aren't quite so sharp.

[Jesse takes that as a compliment, however condescending it might be. It's a lot nicer than the flat-out derision he's used to.]

I mean, you're the expert. I'm just the cook. You clearly got things under control around here. I wouldn't go trying to mess up something that's working perfect.

Good, good. And see that you do the cooking, and I'll stay out of the kitchen.

[ As it was, Oswald rarely made sure his hands were so obvious in the work, anyway. He would hardly be the sort to be caught actually endorsing drug production. ]

Of course, you must understand, we won't be seeing each other face to face very often. I do have other, more legitimate business endeavors to manage as well.

[ But the familiar rush, the hum of blood and the thrill was already there. He was sensing blood in the water. He reminded himself of that old pastime. ]

Ah, yeah, totally.

[He hadn't been under the impression they'd suddenly be BFFs here. Mr. White wouldn't so much as make eye contact with him if they were anywhere either of them might be recognized.]

I know the deal. Dead drops and burners and all that. Nobody has to know you even know me, if that's how you wanna play it.

There should be no need for that.

Simply...friendly acquaintances shall do. We're imports after all, and that offers us a certain...leniency. Most imports know each other, through one connection or another.

[ He smiled, his fingers spread across the table. ] It's good to be in business with someone who understands how this works.

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