maskormenacelogs | [OPEN] and it's an old scar

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[OPEN] and it's an old scar

WHO: Kazu and whoever he runs into!
WHERE: Heropa, nonresidential area
WHEN: November 22
WHAT: Kazu needs to clear his head after this drama happens so he decides to go for a run on his hyper-motorized skates. Don't get traumatized and ride kids.
WARNINGS: some background drama and also unsafe operation of a wheeled device going like 40 miles an hour. AN UNSAFE SPEED. Strong language. Potentially reference to violent imagery.

[Kazu had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

He'd laced on his Air Trek and jumped out the second-story window, and just hadn't stopped. Hit the ground, shifted his weight to kick the motor to life and took off fast enough to break the speed limit in the residential zone by... probably a lot. He had no idea where he was at for a long time; all he could see was the world torn down around him bathed in smoke and fire and slashed with red. All of the memories—his own and Tetsuo's kept replaying, one after another or mashed together in a slur of violence, pain, and fear. Fuck his head was killing him, throbbing sharply to the beat of his pounding heart. Maybe he should have taken one of those pain pills before he left, but he wasn't stupid. Right now, his body was on autopilot--adjusting his balance and weight into sharp turns, moving him around or over obstacles. Slowing down those reflexes even a fraction would be asking to get killed.

But that only occurs to him later, after who knows how long of just running. Somewhere near the takeout place he usually goes to, his head finally clears up enough for him to think he should maybe get the fuck onto the roofs before he runs into somebody like a dumbass. Which, of course, is exactly when he almost does.

He doesn't see who it is. He has just enough time for his mind to register PERSON!! and CAN'T STOP IN TIME before he has to spin tightly, avoiding collision at the absolutely last second. His balance and trajectory fucked, he's got nothing but momentum, which slams his hip into a bench hard enough to spin him again and leaves enough force to send him another few feet into the conveniently placed garbage can, sending them both sprawling. Flat on his back, he gasps out.]

Ohfuckow. [and then, still flat on his back:] ARE YOU OKAY.

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[Bullshit. He'd have said something yesterday if that happened. Right? Maybe? If Kazu wanted him not to investigate, he picked the wrong words. Kazu's right in that empathy isn't Tetsuo's strong point, but he does have some of a brain.]

I'm coming in.

[Going for the doorknob now - unless Kazu's got a damn good reason he can come up with for Tetsuo to not do the Kaneda thing, he's going to do the Kaneda thing after all. He tried. Hell, he's still trying - so be grateful he didn't go away.]

[Kazu doesn't even bother to protest because let's be real, it's not going to do anything. At least he threw on clothes before he flopped back into bed; he had kind of suspected he want them on with Tetsuo around, specifically for this kind of situation.

Feebly, he tries to get up, so Tetsuo will be greeted with the sight of Kazu painstakingly levering himself into a sitting position, moving like he's a million years old. ]

[Tetsuo pauses, evaluating the situation briefly, then moves to the first available place to sit. Fine. He's here. He's not going anywhere.]

Hn. Must've been some building.

[That totally isn't any concern there, shut the hell up. He doesn't have any of that. He also sounds sarcastic as hell - there's no way he's buying that story.

...but seriously, Kazu was fine when Tetsuo was using him as a practice dummy before. He tended to assume the guy was a little bit durable.]

[Durable as long as he was doing the basics, but hours of hard running... No, he couldn't just blame it on that. He had told himself he could get by on his patch-job tuning as long as he was just doing the basics but feeling this shitty after running that hard he couldn't ignore the fact that he needed a real tuning. It was some kind of fucking miracle he hadn't injured himself permanently. Some Flame King he was if he couldn't even handle his own regalia...

His expression goes closed off and pensive, all the more visible since his habitable beanie is on the floor scattered among the several empty Icy hot wrappers. It didn't matter. There weren't any tuners here, and that was the new lie he could tell himself to keep avoiding having to deal with finding another tuner.

He was such a fucking coward.

His head moves in a quick shake, clearing his thoughts.]

Could you, uh... [he waggles his fingers in a gesture that clearly means "do the psychic thing" and gestures toward his phone.] I need to call out of work.

Edited 2015-12-16 00:59 (UTC)

[Tetsuo's glance shifts to where Kazu's indicating, eyes fixing on the indicated item quickly. He could. Sure. It's barely any effort on his part. So... why not, the phone pulls itself off its resting place and drifts over at a decently slow pace to where Kazu can catch it.

And he'd better grab it, or it's going to keep floating closer until it hits him.]

[Kazu was frankly bracing to get smacked by it, so when it gently floats over... He blinks.]

Uh, thanks... Just give me a sec. [After a quick call, Kazu tucks the communicator away, and shoots Tetsuo a glance.]

[As Kazu continues his call, Tetsuo takes the time to look around, checking out what he can see of the room, paying little interest to the content in favor of curiosity. He doesn't even look back once the conversation's over, not yet. The wall's more interesting.

Once the initial reaction's worn off, he's not really sure what to do with being here. Yep. Sure is a room. It's a weird reversal; Kazu's pretty familiar the room Tetsuo was assigned to and its absolute lack of decoration or general items. But Tetsuo never really wondered about what Kazu's space was like. He probably had one. That's as far as he'd figured.

And now this is awkward. Working out what the hell Kazu did to himself, also awkward. Screw that. He has to ask again here, doesn't he?]

So. You gonna say what's going on? Or are you gonna waste my time with that story?

[Kazu, he can find out. You know that. True, he doesn't want to chance a second round of that nightmare right now, but he could. Either way, he's asking, so be grateful - he doesn't have to give a shit. Right?

He's leaving if Kazu tries the first option]

[Kazu's room, like Tetsuo's, is also sparse. Nothing but the standard furnishings and a closed laptop sitting on the desk. In Kazu's case, it's because he's been hoarding every penny just in case something happens to his AT; the only possessions he's splurged on are the necessities: clothes, first aid kid, and the computer. The room gives off the general impression of neatness, with the Icy Hot wrapping looking anomalous piled near the bed. Kazu's At are also right next to the bed, within arm's reach.

Kazu flinches a bit, looking down and fidgeting with the fabric of his sweatpants. if Tetsuo won't buy the thin lie he tried to feed him, then he has to tell the truth, but where the fuck to even start? At the hospital, the regalia, tuning... There were multiple reasons last night was a stupid fucking idea. Maybe it's the arrogant authority in Tetsuo's tone, but simply refusing to answer doesn't appear as an option.]

... I fucked up. I shouldn't have... [Yeah, he's off to a great start. he tries switching tack.] I don't... think I've explained AT much to you, I guess. It puts a lot of strain on your body, first of all.

[Which was true for any Storm Rider, but he was still circling around the point. A regalia multiplied that risk factor, only mitigated by regular tunings. Running on a regalia without a tuner was tantamount to a death wish. But to explain regalia he'd have to explain Kings, and tuners...]

[Yes. Talk. Good choice, Kazu.

His own power can run his head through a cheesegrater on a good day, and on a bad one... it's like his whole body's distorted, power crawling under his skin. If anyone could understand power causing drawbacks, Tetsuo could - but he didn't really think AT qualified. It wasn't exactly a power, it was just skates. Fancy ones that went incredibly fast, but wasn't that... about it?? Why the hell is this the case now, when he's pretty sure Kazu's gotten to his place on those things before, and been fine for it?

In short: ???]

Strain...? [Shifts one leg up onto the chair to rest his elbow on it.] You use it all the time with no problem, right? I've seen you.

[It sure looked like no problem, anyway.]

Uh, yeah, I've been keeping it pretty basic. [Because scaling a two story building with nothing but your feet was basic.] ... For a couple of reasons.

[No interruptions? ...No interruptions, for now. All Kazu gets is a slight 'go on' gesture with his raised hand and a fairly intense stare.

There's no backing out of this now.]

[He has the urge to sink down under the covers under Tetsuo's scrutiny. He curls tighter in on himself instead, a hand unconsciously folding over his scarred shoulder as he talks.]

I was pretty fucked up for a while—after Nike... [Tetsuo should know who he's talking about. The absolutely monstrous bulk of him looming over Kazu with that huge curved sword in hand. The feeling of hot blood burning down his arm and ribs.

Shit, we was still avoiding the real issue. He just needed to say it. ]

S-so, you know how in rpgs there's always an ultimate demon-cursed weapon set for the party? My AT are assort of like that... I mean, they're not that bad. They don't drain my life force or cast berserker status. But they're... Dangerous. To use without a tuner.

Edited 2015-12-17 03:35 (UTC)

[At the mention of Nike, Tetsuo's eyebrows draw down further. He definitely knows that name.

While his life before didn't have the luxury or the funds to produce the technology for games like Kazu's describing, Tetsuo's life here's provided more than an idea what Kazu's talking about. He's played a few RPGs by now, thanks to Hazel and her forgotten game system. That's the weirdest way to describe something he's heard yet, and he's seen all kinds of bullshit by now.

.. huh. That's one thing he does miss about being at that place. The games at his arcade don't have a 'save' function.]

'Tuner'? That like some kinda mechanism for 'em? [Wait. If he means that as in 'to tune up', like with a bike or something -] Or a maintenance tool?

No. A tuner is person.

[He can feel his throat and chest starting to tighten with emotion. He curls his fist into the fabric of his clothes, at his knee and shoulder.]

Someone... close to a King, who keeps the King and their regalia in sync so the strain of using a regalia doesn't rip them apart. [The explanation was blunt and vague, purposefully leaving out the details. The way tuners had been explained to him... Closer than family, more intimate than a lover. A tuner knew a King's body inside and out. Not that Kazu knew from personal experience. His tuner...]

Nike... [His voice warbles oddly, and he has to swallow.] Nike killed my tuner. During that battle.

[It's the first time he's said it, and it leaves him feeling raw, hollow. His tuner. Sano. In the months between receiving the regalia from Spitfire up until the final battle, Kazu had never considered who his tuner would be. The whole thing had seemed too unreal. It still seemed unreal. That Spitfire would choose someone like him to inherit his legacy...

But of course his tuner would be Sano, that smug, perverted asshole. Sano, who had run the same road as him. Sano, who had been his first real AT battle. Sano who'd kicked his ass and trained him into the ground, who had stolen the Flame Regalia from him. Sano who should have died with Spitfire, who came back with his body half metal just to watch over Kazu. He had been such an asshole, always mocking Kazu, trying to get into his pants. It wasn't until the last god damn second, right before Nike had ripped him apart that he let Kazu know he actually gave a shit. That showy bastard, going out on a dramatic confession like that... Too late. Kazu was always too fucking late.

And now here he was. A King without a tuner, months later still wandering around feeling like a bird with its feathers ripped out. The Flame King, yeah right. His puny life hadn't even been enough to save Sano, though he would have laid it down gladly.

He startles himself with the sound he makes, a ragged hic that makes him realize that's he's been crying quietly, hot tears sliding down his cheeks. An aching knot of grief and futile rage keeps his chest in a vice.]

[It'd be so, so easy, to just leave. To not care, get up, tell him to get over it. Whoever the hell it was who did whatever the hell they did is gone, and it doesn't matter anyway because they're not even wherever the hell Kazu materialized from. It doesn't really mean anything to him one way or the other. It's not like Tetsuo knew this person.

Slowly, Tetsuo's stare darkens as he watches Kazu. Over and over, ever since that... accident, he's been forced to realize that he never really paid an ounce of attention to the guy...

The first time they met, they'd actually talked about things, he's pretty sure... but that was then, and it felt like a lifetime ago. After that, they had conversations, but none of it dealt with stuff like this, or the past, or anything that wasn't in the here or now. Tetsuo preferred conversations like that these days. They required nothing out of anyone, but were a good way to pretend he wasn't alone.

But now that he's been forced to pay attention, there's a decent part of Kazu that reminds him of everything he hates -hated!- in himself. The weakness. The fear. The passive helplessness - he's so damn sick of all of that. He can even see it now, hot and fresh streaming down his face, and it's so easy now to project all his own problems with who he used to be on the kind of pathetic guy Kazu might be. Except... he's lived enough of that life and seen enough of that pain that he doesn't feel up to to inflicting more of it.

Tetsuo's no use in this kind of situation. If Kazu needed someone killed, now, that's something he can do. If the guy begged, sure, Tetsuo'd even consider indulging him enough to do it. But Kazu isn't really the type for that kinda stuff, and there's probably no one here to go after, so... he's got nothing to do. And there's a weird hint in the back of his head that maybe he should find something to do.

Otherwise, he's just going to sit here with a lot of awkward, annoyed uncertainty, and a handful of memories that didn't belong in his head.

What the fuck does he do with this. Try to find something interesting about the floor?

Yeah. He can do that.]

[Kazu's digging the heels of his hands hard against his eyes, trying to gasp for air in between.]

Sorry, I—fuck. I'm sorry. Shit. I don't even know why I'm—my tuner was a fucking asshole. Good for nothing creepy yaoi trope—

[But he had been one of the people who saw something in Kazu. And in the past few months Kazu's just felt like he's disappointing Sano and Spitfire both.]

What-?

[He drops the soft question almost instantly, not having a sentence to form around the interrogative. There's too much that could follow it.

He's not saying anything about it, but at least he's not the one crying this time. At least there's that.]

Uh—Yaoi...? You don't know what yaoi is.

[Which means kazu is going to have to explain it. Good job Kazu way to not look less gay at all.]

[Um.

That.

That went.. places... This is what he gets for running his fucking mouth before his brain catches up. He should have just kept talking, not... fuuuuuuck. Of course Kazu would pick the one fucking word out of that whole thing to go for, of course that happens.

It's not like he can admit he knows what the word is! Admitting that might possibly imply he's ever seen it! And unlike what Kaneda keeps seeming to believe he's straight, okay?? He has a girlfriend! Who's... in ... Neo Tokyo but STILL SHUT UP. So - uh - um - suddenly he's with Kazu on wishing you could jump out a window.

IT MADE HIM STOP THAT STUPID CRYING BUT LSKSHF???

All this occurs behind a very, very blank deer in the headlights expression. Nope. He has no idea. Clearly. Maybe it'll go away if he says nothing.]

U-um... well... it's for girls. Girls. It's very popular among GIRLS which, of course, is the only reason I know about it, it's, um, it's... two guys... one's on top, usually taller, older, more muscular and one's on bottom and... I'm going into too much detail aren't I?!

W-what the-

[Nope. He flails to find some reply, mouth hanging halfway open in sheer disbelief. This is.

This is being talked about.

Somewhere along the way of this conversation, the last shreds of Tetsuo's brain gave up and died, leaving just one small 'WAIT HANG ON A MINUTE' moment behind before their final surrender.]

IF IT'S POPULAR AMONG GIRLS WHY DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?!

[His eyes get even wider when he realizes. Of all the things he could have said, WHY MORE QUESTIONS?! You'd think he'd think about people hearing that but no, that still doesn't seem to occur to him in the moment. This is not a time for logic; there's only mental keysmashing now.]

I TALK TO GIRLS! SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE GIRLS!!!

[How does this keep getting worse.]

ABOUT THAT??? THAT'S NOT WHAT GIRLS-

[He stalls, suddenly realizing even more implications. Usually the girls were just with the gang as hangers on, and then there was Kaori. He didn't really know any of the others well. Did the girls back in Neo Tokyo talk about this when they were off chatting? GUYS talked about getting girls, but not...

Oh shit.

is this what girls actually talk about

oh shit]

YES THEY DO!

[If Kazu hand't known that before Akito showed up, he certainly did afterward.]

WHAT THE HELL?!

[THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY THAT'S TRUE

PLEASE DON'T LET THAT BE TRUE]

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