Kiss your dad square on the lips!

[itistolaugh]

WHO: Harley Quinn & Walter White
WHERE: a diner in Heropa
WHEN: 11/11
WHAT: Friendly brunch between two terrible people
WARNINGS: Likely casual discussion of violent crime, drug trafficking, and normalization of abuse.


[ Harley is seated in the very best diner booth, playing on her phone while she waits for Walt. His order is cooling on the table and she's idly considering hiding a generous helping of hot sauce in the stack of pancakes when he comes in.

She doesn't recognize him, not at first, or even at second or third. All these old sad white guys look the same. ]

Comments

[kingpawn]

[ Walt doesn't really keep her waiting. He's there in about fifteen minutes. And he's wearing pants. And he has a full head of hair.

So, you know. It's like a complete stranger has just arrived. ]

I would have been here sooner, but there was an accident on the way. Everything got rerouted which is a pain. It's so nice to see you, though.

[ He slips into the seat across from her, offering a tired old smile from his tired old face. ]

[itistolaugh]

[ Harley ignores him when he first comes in, because a full head of hair AND pants? Not her guy. Even when he speaks and sits across from her, she doesn't recognize him right away. Confusion spreads over her face until it clicks and she slams her hands down on the table. ]

Hair!!

[kingpawn]

[ Walt is briefly taken aback by her outburst. ]

Uh...yes. Hair. I didn't even realize....you've never met me when I had it.

[ Because their very first encounter is when Walt had shaved it all off. Funny....thinking back on it now. ]

[itistolaugh]

[ She leans over the table and digs her fingers in, ruffling his hair thoroughly. Ahhh! Ahh, hair! Hahahah!! ]

Oh my god, it looks so good! Look at you, Mr. Handsome!

[kingpawn]

[ He's not certain how to react to her words. What he feels is a mix of flattered and embarrassed as she ruffles his hair. ]

Well. I'm glad you approve. I think I'll keep it this time. At least until the next mental breakdown.

[ He says with a soft laugh. ]

[itistolaugh]

[ She gets up and moves to the other side of the table so she can keep playing with his hair. ]

Is that a regular thing for you? Like did you get synced up to somebody's period or what?

[kingpawn]

Maybe it is? Once every three months or so...

[ He cracks a small smile. ]

But it hasn't happened for a while. Maybe I got over it. Or maybe...

[ He says with a jovially being ominous. ]

The worst is yet to come.

[itistolaugh]

Oh, probably. The stress of the holidays just around the corner, all that stuff.

[ She too sounds perfectly cheerful to be discussing explosive mental breakdowns, but hey. That's life. ]

Gotta get it in before the new year for a nice fresh start.

[kingpawn]

Should I do it before or after Christmas, though. That's the question. I mean, Christmas in and of itself can be half the reason for a breakdown.

Be grateful you don't have kids.

[itistolaugh]

Oh my god, me doing the soccer mom thing? Can you imagine. No, definitely no way, I'd be the worst.

I'm happy enough being the cool aunt. No offense to your kids, but my niece and nephew are the cutest in the whole world.

[kingpawn]

I can't imagine it, but that doesn't mean it's not a possibility. Do you ever want kids someday? You're still young and have plenty of time to consider it. And I would say it's rewarding.

[ An idle shrug. ]

At least until you destroy their lives.

[ Gotta joke about it because if he doesn't joke he'll cry. And that always gets awkward for Harley. ]

[itistolaugh]

... I did, I used to. But the only guy I'd want to have kids with, well...

[ She shrugs and tears at her napkin. ]

Well, that didn't really work out like I thought it would. Sometimes love isn't enough, y'know?

[kingpawn]

Well. I can vouch for that.

[ He offers her a weary smile. ]

Maybe that should be our motto. Sometimes love isn't enough.

[ Because Walt sure destroys the lives of the people he loves a whole lot. ]