maskormenacelogs | a catch-all;

[Ken doesn't press. Suspicions confirmed, he's satisfied for now and simply nods. He doesn't want to let go of his hand, so he opts to stand as close as he can without bumping into Jaime and cranes his neck for the cab with him.]

I think so. Even if it's bad, I'm strong enough with Kala-Nemi now that I can get it mended mostly.

[Not completely, however; if the doctor he's going to see will contact Minato, he'll probably suppress the spell a little so it seems more like a Diarama. He'll figure it out.]

Sorry for calling you out so suddenly like this.

I wish you'd called me sooner. I would have gone to Nonah myself if you explained what had happened.

[The cab turns round the corner, and Jaime waves his hand in the air, as if they could have possibly missed the two people clearly waiting on the curb for them. Jaime can't stop dwelling on the fact that Ken's fingers have been broken for days without notice.]

Did none of your roommates think to take you to the hospital? Your teacher never noticed?

Didn't tell them, didn't show them. I bought my own splint and held it together the last couple days, so I think my teacher thought it was already treated.

[He pauses. Turns his head to watch the cab come closer, then sighs.]

I 'unno. I hid it, I really didn't think it was as bad and I thought it'll go away with some pain killers. There isn't a big reason behind it. I've always done this sort of thing myself.

Oh, Ken.

[Jaime sighs. After all this, he's not sure why Ken still feels the need to pursue his own, fierce sort of independence for things as simple as this, things as human as this. To ask for help after getting injured is just the building blocks of basic relationships, but Ken always seems to want to handle things on his own.

He doesn't sound mad, though, mostly because Ken came to him for help instead of letting Jaime notice it on his own. Lecturing Ken always seems to be a futile effort.]

I guess you know better now, anyway. You can always ask for help, especially if it's 'cause you're hurting. You must know over a dozen people who would've taken you to see a doctor if they'd known.

[He steps into the cab, and motions for Ken to follow him before saying, politely,] The hospital, please. Could you take us round to emergency?

I know a lot of people, yeah. [Which is part of why he didn't want to, he thinks to himself, stubbornness and habit aside. If someone less used to Ken's ways than Jaime had asked -- if someone found out who hurt him... it's not that Ken doesn't think Tetsuo did something bad. He did. But he knows that between him and Tetsuo, a lot of people will antagonize his roommate over it, and he doesn't want that to happen. Tetsuo doesn't need more of that, and Ken, too, doesn't want him to get mad over being called out and take it out on him again. He knows that he's been the target of his anger.

The pain aside, Ken's not in a terrible mood right now! He's calm and compliant, asking Jaime to help him with the seat belt and doing what he can do on his own. He's definitely tired and the doctor will comment on it when checking on him, but otherwise it's standard emergency room procedure.

Besides an expression of surprise over how hard the door must've been slammed, she and the nurses are quick to pierce Ken's nail to relieve some of that pain and fit him with a splint more properly for the other breaks. He's so young most of the damage went to his growth plates :( but it's a fortunately clean break that he'll heal fine from. At the end of it all he's almost embarrassed, and he glances at Jaime, away from Jaime, and back at Jaime a couple time before he mumbles,]

... You were right. I should've just talked to someone sooner.

I'd say now you'll know for next time, but I hope there won't be a next time. Your roommates should know to be more careful from now on.

[He assumes it was one of Ken's roommates, anyway, mostly on the basis that the other homes that he seems to visit all the time don't have as many rambunctious people about. The Hamadas wouldn't close a door like that, nor would Shinji or Akihiko or Minato, and the twins are, what, twelve? It has to be one of his roommates.

But Ken likes it at home. He says it feels like home, and even if Jaime's not entirely certain what to think of all of them, he's fine letting Ken decide what's best for himself in that regard. He can't say he's thrilled with Ken getting hurt, but, well... everyone makes mistakes. He's dropped Milagro before. It happens.]

Come on, let's take another cab back to my place, and you can rest it off for a while. The pain's been keeping you up, hasn't it?

[At that, Ken promptly tilts himself over sideways until he's resting against Jaime's side, closing his eyes and nodding tiredly. There was a different sort of unease that surrounded him in that house now, but the pain played a huge role in his lack of sleep, for sure. Knowing that Jaime won't let him really fall over, he hangs there, uninjured hand reaching up to hold Jaime's shirt anyway for leverage.]

Mm, yeah, I fell asleep in class instead, yesterday, so I actually stayed home today. [He yawns.] I want to hear stuff about you, too. Your... that.

Sure. But ask me once we get back home, okay? Maybe close your eyes in the cab for a while.

[It doesn't take Jaime long to call a cab - a sleepy place like Heropa doesn't exactly have cabs driving up and down the streets for him to hail - and soon, they're whisked back to Heropa 015. Jaime will have to cheat and fly to grab his bike later, but it's not such a bad walk for someone without a broken finger.

Then again, if he's going to tell Ken all about his powers, maybe he can fly Ken there too. At any rate, he ushers Ken inside, checks briefly to see if anyone's home that has the possibility of eavesdropping (thankfully, they're not), and sits Ken down.]

So... you want to hear about how I know the stuff I do, is that it?

Yeah.

[For how tired he is, Ken's actually wide awake. There's a curiosity burning in him he never had before, and he doesn't want to sleep until it's satisfied. It's a little surprising for him, too; before, like when he first started thinking of Jaime's powers five months ago, he didn't have this sort of curiosity. He didn't care much about anything Jaime didn't offer him first.

Now, he wants to know more. He doesn't want to waste time away in any level of apathy, and he nods firmly as he looks at Jaime with alert eyes.]

I do.

Right. I've actually been meaning to talk to you about it for a while now, but... it never seemed like the right time.

[He's sure that Ken knows why. They've been thrust from complication to complication together, from Ken being ported out, to Crane, to worse. Sometimes, when there's a moment of peace, all he really wants to do is let it be peaceful, whether it's dragging Ken over to his XBox or spending sometime with Koromaru in the yard.

Underneath Ken's direct stare, Jaime looks away, but that's only so he can think about how to break the news. He turns his hands over in his hands, as if contemplating showing Ken instead of telling him, but he's not sure whether or not Ken would remember such a miniscule detail as what the Blue Beetle's armour looked like on his hands alone.

And he certainly wouldn't inflict his full transformation on Ken without proper warning.]

Well, you've already seen some of my powers. You just didn't really know it at the time. [He clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck a little.]

I'm the Blue Beetle. We met that one time...?

[At first, Ken doesn't quite realize what he's being told. He knew Jaime had powers; that much, they confirmed all the way back in June. He never asked what it was. He never felt the need to know as long as Jaime promised that those powers would keep him safe. His curiosity is a recent thing, but even then, it wasn't a curiosity that would've made him push past Jaime's comfort to find out the truth.

But now, the truth is being dropped voluntarily in his lap, and he doesn't know what to make of it. Did he just--]

Blue...san...?

[He knows who that is. He definitely remembers. The first time when they met in the sky, and the second time, at the swear-in. He remembers and he wonders, how did he not put that together before? Wasn't it strange, that the hero and the boy were from the same city and didn't know each other, when everybody brought here seemed to have some sort of connection, somewhere? It all made sense now. It's all coming back to him.

... Along with what he had said to the Blue Beetle the first time they met and with that memory, heat and color rush to Ken's face. Oh no. Oh no oh no.]

... T-that was you?!

[Oh no. Ken absolutely remembers - how could he not? Kid has a steel trap for a mind, even with stuff Jaime wouldn't actually want to remember him saying - and he absolutely remembers what it was that he said. Jaime's smile is half amused, half apologetic.]

Yeah. That was me. You don't have to look so embarrassed! You said, um...

[What Ken had said was important to him. It had made him feel important, like he was actually accomplishing things out of armour even when he felt as if he was just floundering in the dark, making things better and worse in equal measures. He'd gone home with a smile the other day, and even still, they're words that warm him.]

...well, even if you didn't know it was me, it still meant a lot. But if you want, we can just pretend like that never even happened.

[Well, around each other, anyway. You can pry those words away from Jaime's cold, dead hands.]

I remember what I said.

[And there's not a sign of regret in Ken's eyes as he says it, even if his face is still turning redder with every second and he has to look down, press the palms of his hands to his cheeks to hide them.

That was Jaime. He should've realized it. It was all there! But no, it's probably for the best he didn't. That he's able to trust people like this and take things at face value, and it's not like this reveal is shedding light on anything terrible. Quite the opposite, in fact. Mostly. Jaime Reyes was more than he ever expected him to be, but he was, still, exactly the same sort of person he came to know and absolutely adore him as.]

It's just-- I wanted to tell it to you, to your face, while I knew that it was you. [he voice is a bit muffled by his hands. He's still looking down, but now his ears are red enough to rival the hair of one Wally West.] I meant every word-- I guess I did say it to you in the end but it's different, you know?

[Jaime's a little surprised at Ken's reaction, though he's not displeased. He'd expected Ken to be a little more surprised, maybe, or maybe he'd thought that he'd want a little more proof. Or maybe - and this is what Jaime had feared - his feelings would be hurt, as Kitty's were, that Jaime hadn't shared this information earlier.

Ken feeling embarrassed about saying something very, very kind about him is pretty much the best possible outcome to this whole thing, and he can't quite keep the small smile off his face, watching as Ken goes redder than he's ever seen him go before.]

Maybe it's a little different, but... [Jaime's ears are going a little red too, remembering all the things that Ken had said. It's not as if he could ever forget them; he'd carried them with him all the way back home, and he carries them with him still. To be someone's hero as Jaime means an awful lot, but it means even more to be Ken's hero, to know that with this one little kid, he was doing the right thing.

Would it have been nice to hear it from Ken himself, knowing who he was telling it to? Of course it would have. But hearing it as the Blue Beetle lends it that extra air of authenticity, the knowledge that it's something Ken would say to anyone.]

It means just as much even if you weren't technically saying it to my face. It was, um... I think it was as important to hear then. Hearing that sort of thing helped a lot.

[He'd had a lot of bad days since then. It had helped on the bad days, but more importantly, it had helped on the bad days that Ken wasn't around, knowing that even in one place, in one time, he had been able to make a difference.]

So thank you. You're not mad that I've kept all this from you?

Huh?

[Ken looks up, and while his face is still unmistakably red, his expression is also unmistakable: confusion. Mad? ]

Why would I be?

[As far as Ken's concerned, masked heroes' secret identities are, as the name implies, secret. It's only natural for him that Jaime would keep his identity a secret, and besides that he was used to people keeping secrets and wanting certain things to stay personal and private. Jaime had his reasons for keeping it a secret, and now he's decided to tell it to Ken... that's enough for him. But another few moments of thinking, and Ken's mind gets around to why other people would be upset about it. So he blinks, then lets out an "oh" as his eyes grow a fraction wider. Oh. Okay.]

Um, no! I'm not upset. I think, on the other hand, it's more weird to people how more open we were about our Personas. For us it was because they're harder to hide, but I think it's more normal for people like you not to talk about it.

[He shakes his head!]

I'm just... thank you for trusting me, Jaime-san. For telling me.

[Jaime's not so sure he agrees. So many people he knows here have taken this place as some sort of liberation from secrecy, a place where they can be open about their powers, whatever their powers may be. To him, it always seemed like superheroes were in the minority, and he has a feeling that most of them keep their identities secret as little more than a safety measure, in case someone with ill intentions from their homeworlds ever showed up. Heck, Crane certainly counts.

But if Ken's not upset by the deception, then Jaime's not going to dwell on it. It figures that he of all people wouldn't take the news in a way that Jaime would consider to be normal; none of the SEES members have reactions that Jaime would at all count as typical, and it makes sense that Ken's not bucking the trend just because superheroes have gotten involved.]

It's normal for superheroes not to, anyway. It's all about us having more that we need to protect.

[Jaime leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and turning his head to look at Ken.]

But for us, I think that somewhere down the line, it's important for the people that we want to protect to know too. It was a lot easier back home, when all I had to tell was my family, and friends I've known for my whole life. Here...

[He glances up at the ceiling for a second, then back at Ken.]

It hasn't been so easy to figure out when the right time was.

[And that's been his whole issue, hasn't it been? He knows that it's better for his close friends and family to know, but back home, that had meant his immediate family and two friends. That's it.

Here, his life is richer for the amount of friends he has in it, but that comes with its own set of problems; how close does he have to be to someone before he tells them? Is it important? He's still him, just with a weird job. But Kitty had treated it like he'd been purposefully deceiving her for so long, and instead of making him want to tell more people, it's made him want to hold back instead, for fear of what they'll think of him, in and out of costume. What if they don't agree with superheroes? What if they get mad at him for tricking them? What if this changes things, and he's not Jaime to them anymore, and just the Blue Beetle?

Because at the heart of it, he doesn't feel like his true self is the Blue Beetle, not really. It's a part of him, certainly, but when push comes to shove, he's Jaime Reyes. Not the blandly smiling Jaime that most people wind up meeting at first, but the one that Ken knows, who cries a little too easily and gets a little too loud, who will goof off and smother people in equal measures, who will be first in line when it comes to helping out, but will groan and lag behind when it comes to daily chores.

Maybe once they know him that well, that's the time to tell them.]

Honestly, I should've told you months and months ago. So... you're welcome, I guess, but I'm just glad that I'm telling you now.

I think we just had a lot of missed opportunities.

[Ken met the Blue Beetle early on, and they had a very early start to the serious side of their relationship. That is, Ken was blurting out his feelings since day one, too wound up to be able to properly have a normal, casual friendship. It worked out for both of them, but there was always too much going on for people to tell Ken anything. Looking back, Ken's not surprised how long they had come without Jaime saying anything. It probably didn't help how stubborn he was not to be curious.

Maybe this is for the better. After all, Ken told Jaime about the secrets of Persona-using like he was dropping little bombs into the poor guy's heart. Boom. Boom. Pow? Nobody in SEES cared enough to hide their lifestyle; even if they were a power nobody would've noticed, none of them felt any actual need to keep it a secret. Their secrets were kept because if it got out to the world, they wouldn't be left alone to do what they had to do. They also had nobody to tell. Jaime had people in his life who knew and didn't know, and he had the opportunity and the responsibility to pick and choose. He wonders what that's like, to have to consciously decide who got to know something and who didn't. Who did he trust the most? Who would take the news well? Who wouldn't?

And Ken, as a friend who was trusted to know, now has to choose how he'll accept it. It's not a difficult decision at all, though.]

I feel like it explains a lot of stuff now, but you don't have to worry about me acting any differently. Although, I do have a question.

[It's not a huge surprise that Ken finds that Jaime's status as the Blue Beetle explains a thing or two. His policy had always been to be honest with Ken, after all, and that included letting him know that there were powers that he had that he didn't speak of, to simply have Ken be content in his own ignorance. If Ken had asked earlier, Jaime would have probably told him, but it's not something he intended to do unbidden.

It had been a luxury, he thinks, that Ken was the sort of person who was okay with not knowing, with simply accepting that Jaime had a few things he had to conceal, that he wished to keep concealed. Jaime wouldn't have had that sort of patience, he knows; he's far too nosy, too curious to let things go like that.]

I'd be pretty surprised if you didn't have any questions, [Jaime says, shoulders relaxing again, corners of his mouth twitching up into a tiny smile.] Shoot.

Well, it's something I realized pretty recently, honestly.

[But thinking back on it, there had been a few occasions. Times where if there was one more person standing besides him, Jaime's actions would've made more sense. Those times when there was a pause a moment too long, like he was seeking confirmation from someone else.]

... Jaime-san, you don't work alone, do you? [It's a question. It's still a question, but it's said with a tone of conviction, in that way Ken asks things when he's pretty sure he knows what the answer is.] There's someone you talk to who's good at answering questions. Right?

Of course I don't work alone all the time, [Jaime says, and his answer's almost immediate -- which means, of course, that it's wrong.] There are a bunch of other people here that I've worked with on a few different cases, and some others I usually call when something big is going down.

[Only then does Ken's strange phrasing actually get through to his skull. Someone you talk to who's good at answering questions. That's not the sort of thing that anyone would say to describe a simple team when it comes to taking down the bad guys, and the certainty with which Ken says it is another clue that he's chasing down something else.

His brows furrow, and then it clicks. He always thinks he's being so subtle when he talks to the Scarab, but he knows how often he does it, how often he'll seem to space out and look at something else, or even on their road trip, the way that he pretended to only be mumbling in his sleep.

That hadn't been the greatest idea in the world, but Jaime couldn't help it. He'd missed talking to Khaji too much. On reflex, he raises one hand and touches it lightly to the base of his neck, just above where he knows Khaji lives.]

Oh. I think I see what you were getting at. Um...

[It's always weird explaining it for the first time, and he has to deliberate on exactly how to describe it.]

I get my powers from a piece of alien tech inside me -- attached to my spine, actually. That tech's got an AI, and if you've seen me talking to something you can't see, that's who I've been talking to.

[Ken stays quiet through Jaime's initial explanation. He waits, confident that it'lll dawn on him soon what he truly meant by that, and sure enough, Jaime frowns, creases his brow, and his face lights up in realization. That "oh" that indicates his revelation.

The explanation isn't too far-fetched. At this point, it almost feels expected. Jaime had been interested in Aigis when Ken first brought her up, so he knows that he knew about the concept of AIs. And in a world like his with actual costumed superheroes, science and aliens were oftentime the answers behind someone having superhuman abilities. It honestly explained those strange gaps in Jaime's words sometimes, those seconds he took to confirm a thought he had like he was conversing with a magical eight-ball inside his head.

Ken nods, satisfied with the answer, although he can't hide the way his eyes slide to Jaime's shoulder and neck now as if trying to see that AI in his spine from here. He knows that's not possible, but his attention is drawn to it.]

That explains a lot, actually, [he says in an echo of his thoughts.] If you had something like an AI you could talk to, it'll make sense that you can take one look at me and figure out how I was hurt. Is that why you were interested in Aigis-san when I first brought her up?

Um, does it have a name? Your tech. It's conscious, right?

Yeah. I mean, I was gonna be interested in her whether I had an AI of my own or not, but it sure didn't hurt.

[Jaime's interested in all of Ken's friends, it seems. He's just nosy like that, and besides, the more he learns about the people of SEES and surrounding SEES, the better his chances are of him understanding where they're coming from. Aigis being an AI is just a bonus -- especially knowing that this AI, at least, has people that will have her back around her. AIs need that sort of support. Maybe in some worlds, where they're more accepted, it's not necessary, but it's hard for Jaime not to think of them as fundamentally vulnerable even if they're technically powerful. They may seem fully formed, but until they're given the time to grow and learn on their own, they're still kids, in a way.

Jaime watches the way that Ken's travel up and down his spine and he grins, just a little.] You can't see him like this. He just looks like a tattoo.

[Jaime twists his back towards Ken and tugs down the neck of his shirt, revealing just the tip of what would count as Khaji's nose, and the spindly legs peeking just above it. It's a light colour, but for all intents and purposes, it looks like an ill advised, illegal tattoo.] See?

[There's a reason why he always keeps his shirt on whenever he goes swimming. He can explain Khaji away if he wants, but there are an awful lot of people here that know that he's too on the straight and narrow to actually get a tattoo.]

We don't usually tell people his name unless they ask, but... yeah, he's conscious. And his name is Khaji Da.

[Ken's eyes widen in wonder when he catches aight of the blue there. Tattoos had their stigma in both Amerixan and Japanese society, but Ken's personal sense of morality has never prioritized them. He's never even though about them, in all honesty, outside of taking note of them whenever he saw them on the adults he ran into on these US streets. But Jaime is still right: his friends know him too well to expect him to really have a tattoo, and Ken is certainly one of such people who have come to know him. One look, and he knows for sure that this is something special instead of some just-for-fun, this-is-my-aesthetic sort of tattoo.

He doesn't try to touch it of course, but he leans in a little to peer at what he can see of it while giving voice to his fired up curiosity.] Why not? Won't it be normal to introduce him by name? I mean -- we'd never introduce Aigis-san as 'the robot' or Koromari as 'the dog' even if one is a mechanized person and Koromari can't really communicate with people.

[He shakes his head. Details!] Can he understand me then? I'm, nice to meet you, Khaji-san. Even if you've known me for a while now.

It's not that simple. He fought really hard to find a name when people programmed him not to have something like that. It's... special to him, so we only tell people who'll actually treat him like a person.

[Nobody else needs to know. If they don't ask, they might just assume that Jaime gave Khaji that name, not that it's the reclamation of a serial number, co-opting what those who would oppress him to do something good. Jaime was so proud of Khaji the day that he found his name and told it to Jaime, told him that he's the first of his kind to have a name.

It's hard to quantify how important that is to someone who can't feel Khaji's emotions lingering deep inside of them, but that's okay. Jaime doesn't mind that being just another oddity in a sea of them.]

But yeah, he can understand you. [Khaji doesn't say it's nice to meet you too like he should, but he at least says one thing that Jaime can repeat.] He says hello. He's known you for as long as I have, but that just means that he likes you too.

Does he? I hope so -- he's someone important to you, so it'll be nice if we could be friends, too.

[Ken doesn't realize it, but it's really a good thing he's finding out now. Ken from back when he first met Jaime, a strained, stressed and ready-to-pop bubble of confusion. He wouldn't have taken to Khaji so easily, and would've demanded way too many answers from him for all that he claimed he was apathetic. Right now, Ken's curiosity is mild and friendly.]

I don't understand what it's like, but I know it's important for people to find their own identity. Aigis-san back home-- she's like that, too. If she ever comes here, we'll have to introduce them.

a catch-all;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

a thousand years later

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

maybe it's a good place to wrap this up?