Recovery is a form of being grounded, right? [Open Log]

[iamtetsuo]

WHO: Tetsuo and YOU
WHERE: Nonah 05/Nonah's Ark
WHEN: Post bike crash through october
WHAT: Karma caught up to him and he's stuck in Nonah 05 for a month. Waiting for your body to heal the rest of the way naturally SUCKS. Boredom, resentment and pain don't make a great combination, but he's down for the count.
WARNINGS: Tetsuo. Copious amounts of Tetsuo. Drugs, threats, all that fun stuff.

[Prompts available on request; for the most part:

Sept 29-Oct 18
Largely stuck on his bed being a wet cat. At some point he'll start meandering out into the living room for TV if no one's out there, but he's not really going far or doing much. Expect a lot of network or texting abuse, possible threats of violence, and probably hurting himself in the attempt to follow up on said threats.

For the curious, he's got a broken collarbone/some ribs; nothing life-threatening but definitely extremely annoying, not to mention painful. While this may take longer normally to heal, he's had some healing done, so we can just assume it'll be pretty much good to go by the end of the month. He might be getting a limiter forced on him at some point during the month.

Oct 18-on

As he starts feeling better, his goal's to be out and around Nonah as much as he can manage (not that much, but you bet he can try). He's supposed to be on bedrest for the month? Well, that's not exactly what he intends to do - just try and make him.

That said, he's not going to be up to doing anything strenuous, which is good for all of us. If you can't find him in Nonah 05, he'll be in the arcade or nearby areas. What are good judgement calls?

Action, audio, video, text, it's all good (update: oct 3 evening until oct 9 Tetsuo's comm is not working)]

Comments

[iamtetsuo]

[Honestly? That was his only clue. And he's pretty clearly not into mind games, despite being psychic. Screw that. He'll up and demand answers first; Tetsuo likes dealing with things directly if at all.]

Good. So what, you want something?

[He figured it was... was... ngh. Something. There was some kind of deal, maybe.]

[superposition]

[He does, but it's not something tangible, and he knows he'll need to work up to it first. For now he's still testing the waters.]

I want to talk. Can we talk?

[iamtetsuo]

Depends. Talk about what.

[superposition]

[Qubit takes a step into the room, gesturing vaguely to the device again.] Well, as long as we're on the subject - how's it been working for you? Still effective?

[iamtetsuo]

[Tetsuo looks away from Qubit to the thing on his arm, lifting it up. He's not sure what he was expecting; honestly, being tracked down here in itself was weird enough to get his guard up, but that's at least a question that in hindsight, he should have expected.]

...Yeah. Works fine.

[He's not taken that thing off once; there's a few superficial scrapes and nicks on it, but nothing big or really obvious, even with the bike crash. Nothing ever, ever gets to touch that thing if he's got any say.]

ok im a dumbass it's actually October 6

[superposition]

Good. No side effects? Did you still have to supplement it with anything?

[I mean he assumes Tetsuo's on painkillers now, the resonator can't do anything with regard to injuries. But the question here, chiefly, is "did you continue doing the drugs."]

no worries!

[iamtetsuo]

[shrug]

This thing doesn't make the pain go away completely, you know... I don't want to feel anything.

[Sorry, Qubit. Tetsuo's been on whatever painkillers or brainkillers he can get his hands on since the day he got here. The real question is, how well would it work if he hadn't been on them for a few months beforehand.]

[superposition]

[So that's a yes. He sighs through his nose. Anything is a strong word. Should he be reading two meanings from that?]

That may be fixable. The design I used is on the generic side. If you're willing to cooperate, I could put together something better tuned to you specifically. One that would work even better.

[There's the carrot. But he's not dangling it quite within reach, not yet.]

... But first, I need you to answer something for me.

[He enters properly now, taking a nearby chair is there a chair? there's probably a chair and pulling it up beside the bed. This he takes a seat in, resting his elbows on his knees, tenting his fingers together. A simple gesture, but one that turns this from a talk into a Talk.]

Why did you do it?

[iamtetsuo]

[Considering the sheer rage has to come from somewhere, not feeling emotional pain is a very nice idea as well, he has to admit.

It's a difficult position to be in. On the one hand, the possibility of no pain is incredibly tempting. Tetsuo's had moments where it completely went away - dealing with Hazel - but... he'd been so sure that he'd never be able to feel normal again. Not really. Not permanently. Not while keeping the one thing that made him remotely important.

On the other, didn't it hurt because he couldn't get control of himself? Pan's said as much, and he's had just enough shreds and hints of proof that he can't quite shake the idea. No one else seems to face the same challenges he does that he can observe. It's almost like admitting he can't do this himself, which hurts in a different way.

But he knows there's no way he won't take the option; this is as good a chance he'll ever get at something that might works without taking away what he can do. Qubit's got his full, undivided interest there, and it shows.

Which is exactly when Qubit claims the chair Charlie left in here and permanently installs himself in the room. And Tetsuo doesn't even consider not letting him.

Before he came here, adults didn't just have serious talks with him. They'd lecture or threaten, or hit him if he stepped too far out of the lines they set, but that's as far as that went. The gesture's significance is only partly caught; just enough that he's not sure he likes where this is going. Only enough to sense there could be a trap; not enough to know what kind.]

Do what?

[He's done a lot of things, man. Be specific.]

[superposition]

All of it. You spent most of September terrorizing the eastern seaboard, Tetsuo, surely you remember some of that.

[He tries to keep his tone neutral and non-accusatory - the facts aren't up for debate - but there's definitely some disapproval in there, as you might expect.]

[iamtetsuo]

[Oh. That. Yeah, he remembers most of that, he's pretty sure. Funny enough, he didn't need a reason. He just did whatever came to mind to do - like anyone could stop him?

...shut up, don't answer that.

Tetsuo shrugs with his free shoulder.]

Because I could.

[Yeah. That's right. You got a problem with that?]

[superposition]

Because you could.

[Why yes, as a matter of fact, he does. He has several problems with that. His expression goes more stern, and he sits up enough to take his tablet out of an inside coat pocket. Looks like he will be needing those news articles he pulled up earlier. Without preface, he starts reading off some choice snippets, scrolling down with his finger.]

"One missing, fifteen injured after imPort rampage." "Three hospitalized in pharmacy robbery." "As many as eight survivors may still be buried under the collapsed building, officials said..."

[He's looking for one in particular, though, and finds it fairly quickly.] Ah. "Officer Richard Hernandez remains in critical condition after his vehicle was thrown from a highway overpass last Thursday by a still-unidentified rogue imPort. Mrs. Hernandez and their two children, ages three and one, appeared on local news this morning to offer a passionate plea for answers..."

[At this point he looks up at Tetsuo again. If he had glasses, this would be the part where he'd lower them and frown over the rims.]

Should I go on? There's plenty more.

[iamtetsuo]

[As Qubit continues, Tetsuo's stare hardens, his posture growing increasingly guarded. He definitely doesn't like where this was going. Out there - who cared, he just did things. Nothing came of it. He honestly never paid any attention to what happened to people after they went away. It just didn't matter.

Here... he could probably do something. Strike first, if he had to. It doesn't change the fact that Tetsuo's injured, and this guy apparently tracked him down with research. What's this guy plotting?]

So? What're you gonna do, huh?

[Shoving anger over anxiety, that always works. Twist it all into a challenge before he gets backed further into a corner.]

[superposition]

[He shakes his head patiently.] No, no, no. That's not the question here. The question is, what are you going to do?

I want to help you, Tetsuo. But I won't help you hurt people. And you've hurt a lot of people.

[iamtetsuo]

Eh?

[It's clear what answer he was expecting: anything that leads to a fight. It would have been an easier answer than the one he got.

What's he going to do? He's gonna get out of here again, and... that's as far as he'd planned. Time to deflect the question as much as possible.]

I- I'll figure that out later!

[superposition]

[Not exactly an expert deflection there. He volleys it right back.]

Really. And when's "later"?

[iamtetsuo]

Whenever! It's just later!

[As long as it's not 'now'.]

[superposition]

[Shrugs.] Seems to me you've got plenty of time on your plate right now.

[iamtetsuo]

[...He does not want to have this conversation anymore. They can stop having this conversation now.]

I've got other stuff to do right now!

[The room looks, aside from a few dents and scars here and there, just like he could have moved in earlier today. No belongings, no decorations, nothing. He doesn't even have books; just a bare shelf. Even if there were, he probably couldn't read any of them without a communicator to translate.

Stuff. Yes. Absolutely.]

[superposition]

Don't be ridiculous. You can barely even sit up.

[i.e. he's clearly not going anywhere. And there is literally nothing in this room but him and his thoughts. And one guest. Qubit leans forward, making as direct of eye contact as Tetsuo will allow.]

I'm not telling you to issue an apology, or something like that - at least, not before you mean it. [Insincerity would do him more harm than good.] But your actions do have consequences, and even if you put off dealing with them, they will catch up with you. That's not a threat, it's a fact. Your victims and their families aren't going to accept that it was just "because you could."

[His voice takes on a lower tone, still calm and steady, but incisive.]

So I'll ask you again. Why did you do all this? ... What are you trying to prove?

[iamtetsuo]

[Consequences only happen if you get caught. That's how it's always gone. And until now, Tetsuo hadn't. Bull had only stopped him; he hadn't brought up anything Tetsuo did. Maybe he didn't know; maybe he's too stupid to work it out. Maybe, hopefully, he just doesn't care.

Tetsuo doesn't let himself break eye contact. He stares right back, eyebrows drawn down in a trademark glare. Though.. that means that Qubit can see his expression freeze as his situation starts to slowly sink in, fear fueling his defiance and rejection of the scenario. 'They have to catch me first' - but this random asshole tracked him down here somehow. He's open here for any retribution. Even at full power he's been beaten down before... like this? Where he can't dodge?

If that clown guy finds him like this...]

I don't have to prove anything!

[But his tone is way too defensive for that to be true. It's what he wants to be true, nothing more. He knows the real answer to that question - he's not the weak one. The fact he couldn't do much to anyone he actually fought at the swear in had to mean nothing - sure, most of the real fights he had in September he didn't win, but that has to be just because he's still learning, not because he can't. He has to be able to win eventually. He's not going to be the underdog forever. He needs to win, and keep winning.

Prove himself capable. Prove himself good enough - no, prove himself better. Prove he can do whatever he wants to do. Prove he doesn't need anyone's help...

Besides, what's the point of power if you don't use it?]

[superposition]

[The tone betrays what the words leave out. Sounds like he hit the nail on the head there. Insecurity, resentment, hatred? Some combination of the three?]

You don't have to, no. That doesn't mean you aren't trying.

[And whatever the exact issue is, he has a pretty good guess who's the primary target.]

[iamtetsuo]

Shut up!

[Because that always wins arguments and convinces people they're wrong somehow. Always, every time.

...shut up.]

[superposition]

[Surprisingly, Qubit does.

The room lapses into uncomfortable silence, the question still hanging unanswered between them. He keeps his eyes fixed piercingly on Tetsuo. Do you really want to play this game, kid? He can sit here all day.

I want to understand. He wants there to be substance there behind it. The violence itself is senseless, but the rage may not be. He may have every reason to be angry. Not that it would remotely absolve him of wrongdoing, obviously, but it'd be a place to start.

He finds himself thinking of Tony again. It's a new realization, but not one that surprises him much. That's why he feels so strongly about this. The burning, childish fury is so similar, and the power to take it out on whatever unfortunate bystander happens to be nearby. The situations aren't exactly the same, not by a long shot, but it's familiar enough to be painful.

I want to understand.]

[iamtetsuo]

[The longer that silence grows, the harder it is to ignore it. At first, Tetsuo keeps staring right back at him, defiantly challenging Qubit to break it. Go on, start talking again. Don't listen to him.

But Qubit doesn't take the dare. The quiet draws on and on without even a clock to punctuate it.

It's none of Qubit's business. He doesn't need to know. Any answer he's fishing for doesn't have to do with him, and as for why he wants to know... Tetsuo's done with people telling him what to do. And that's what this guy wants, right? For him to stop doing what he was doing? Even worse, Qubit hasn't told him what to do; there's little to outright refuse or rebel against in open ended questions.

Ones that Tetsuo hasn't even asked himself, and doesn't at all appreciate having to wonder about now.

When it's clear that this just isn't going to end, Tetsuo finally breaks the stare and glares at the ceiling instead. He doesn't want to talk, how clear can that get?]