maskormenacelogs | CLOSED | sad, meaningful lyrics

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CLOSED | sad, meaningful lyrics

WHO: ERWIN and LEVI
WHERE: Residence #28
WHEN: 4/06
WHAT: Emotionally constipated old man angst
WARNINGS: Mentions of serious injury, and the 'what' mentioned above.

Having taken the first bus that happened by, Levi was en route the moment he hung up. Already he started a mental checklist of where to begin where it concerned their situation once Erwin pressed, and he would have questions. That much Levi could expect even from someone who made their way through life several steps ahead of everyone else. Levi's usual habit of going through the ablutions of a blistering hot shower for upwards of an hour and ritualized cleaning spree after returning to those pre-fab nightmares of apartment buildings would have to wait. At the very, very least he knew Erwin would appreciate the sacrifice being made for his sake.

Erwin said the place was quote-on-quote "spotless," so Levi put away his usual neuroticism on the highest shelf of his psyche to trust Erwin's judgement in lieu of his own. That method tended to work out for the best, and it wasn't exactly like Levi to be flexible. There was nothing said or anything close to announcing himself as he made his way through the entrance. The door pushed open with his hip as both hands were preoccupied carrying two paper cups of steaming hot coffee Levi still couldn't fathom was readily accessible to the masses on every street corner.

Levi wanted to say something about Erwin suddenly having both arms; he wanted to tell him about Mike's squad; he wanted to talk about what this meant for everyone they had seemingly abandoned. Levi wanted to say a lot of things to Erwin to work himself out the whirlwind that was his doubts. Instead he marched into the living room with its hospital white walls and government issued, pine wood furniture with cheap upholstery and slapped a cup of coffee in front of Erwin like an offering. One mug went down on the table with a gentle thud; the sound breaking whatever hypnotic spell lulled both men into their silence.

"Coffee," He supplied before falling into the loveseat opposite Erwin, "Still hot."

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The living quarters of the apartment were not the most comfortable but compared to barracks of the Survey Corps, it was positively luxurious. Erwin didn't mind the sparseness though cleanliness of the apartment and the mention of Levi only meant one thing.

That meant they were absent back home, yet Erwin had no doubts that those under his command would never stop fighting for humanity's future, doing what was necessary.

As the door opened, Erwin turned away from his contemplation of the view from the window to watch the other enter the apartment. This world was one of careless freedom but he still felt the burden of that duty, one that wouldn't be placed aside here. He settled upon the couch as Levi placed the coffee before him, picking it up to inspect the cup for a moment before taking a sip. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting but he had to admit it was better than the coffee back home.

"You have settled in well," Erwin observed before taking another sip of the coffee, keeping his gaze upon Levi, an indirect of inquiring of how the other was doing here without unnecessary words.

"Adapted," Levi corrects without the usual hard edges to his words. Knees pulled tight up against his chest with the heat of his coffee wafting through the thin barrier of waxed paper stamped with a green mermaid between his fingers. It was the closest thing to relaxed Levi ever came to.

"They should have given you a dossier shortly after your arrival," Levi hedges over the awkward quiet because he wasn't exact in his assumption that every arrival was the same. From a drawer craftily hidden in the woodwork of the table he pulled out a thin manilla folder that contained all of his information from medical history to powers supplied per arrival. He offered it to Erwin without comment because it would have been ordered, but they both knew Erwin didn't need to ask no more than Levi needed to be told.

"Yes, I received it." Erwin nodded as he placed the cup carefully upon the table, almost loathe to let it go. He hadn't been sure what to make of having new powers, how much he could trust them but he intended to find that out with a training session once he found a suitable place to use the 3DM gear.

He took the dossier Levi offered him, opening it to read it over. He knew Levi's medical status already, that was no surprise but the powers were intriguing. "Limited Flight. Your experiences with it?" he inquired as he glanced back up at Levi.

"None," Levi admitted, though by the telling drop in his usual devil-may-care candor it was clear it wasn't something he was exactly proud to report, "Yet."

That 'yet' was punctured with a glance down toward his leg; he already fought on that bum ankle, maneuvered with it it, but he couldn't shake the feeling he would be completely useless on it in any truly strenuous situation.

"Do you have your 3DM gear?" Levi pulled tighter into himself with his cup held precariously over his knees, "I didn't, and I've got no plans of going in the air without. Might as well fly around bareassed."

Erwin's gaze followed Levi's down to his ankle, frowning thoughtfully. "I have mine, I had it equipped when I was brought here," he said with a nod. Levi not having his gear was going to pose an issue later. Flying without the gear was not something even Erwin would attempt either.

"We will arrange a suitable time to train," he said as he closed the dossier once he had read everything he needed to, placing it on the coffee table between them. He wouldn't push Levi with his injury far enough to make it worse but they still needed to stay ready for anything they could encounter.

"It's only a sprain," Levi interjected before Erwin could have catch his breath because it didn't need to be said for Levi to feel that condition hung over them. Erwin created a sort of negative feedback loop; his displeasure over the issue with Levi's ankle created its own tension in Levi until is stormed inside him. Nothing for it shown, however, save for the deepening frown that lined his deceptively young face.

"Though," Levi said, making a noncommittal noise through the grip his teeth had over the top of his plastic lid, "Given the overabundance of resources this place has to offer...we can probably use your gear as a base and have it recreated."

The deepening frown was enough for Erwin, however and he nodded. "Then I will consult the maps for a suitable place," he decided after

Erwin wasn't surprised their thoughts were heading the same direction, looking pleased for a fleeting moment though he knows that validation isn't required between them. "The technology of this world is greatly advanced so I will send out inquiries for those who will be able to do so," he said. "Not requiring the gas will simplify things at the very least." But he would still keep the two full tanks he had with him, just in case.

"Bought a few," Levi motioned to a wire bookrack housing a few tourist-geared maps and encyclopedias catty-corner to them sandwiched between a stereo system whose only job was to collect dust.

The slight air of praise picked up in Erwin's expression leaves Levi largely unaffected, but he wasn't a machine and discussions never go anywhere in a vacuum. He shifts in his seat and grips his cup just slightly tighter.

"Made any friends among the other imPorts?" Levi asks because that appeared to him the only avenue to go down where their gear was concerned. The locals were happy enough to let them clean up their messes, but never pick up the slack. The others who shared their situation appeared to offer a more valuable pool of candidates.

"There are a few of interest," Erwin said thoughtfully, getting up to go over to where the maps are, selecting a few of interest before returning to his seat. Humanity has so much territory here, he can't help but wonder if they know what to do with it all.

The maps were opened up upon the table, care of the coffee which would be a pity to spill. "And I hear you have made connections as well," he said as he glanced up at Levi, the slight hints of a smile upon the corner of his lips. He didn't ask if there was anyone else from their world, he assumed they would have made themselves known already.

"Sounds good," Levi doesn't ask for specific because it wasn't his job to know the details and be the one to formulate the plan. Now that Erwin was here there was someone to, for lack of a better word, rely on for that.

Casting a sidelong gaze, his eyes follow Erwin from the bookshelf back to the table. The incredibly detailed maps laid out before them gave them something to work on besides nursing their coffee and pretend to know how to carry a conversation. It was amazing the expanse of the world that covered over its impossibly large oceans- apparently, there really was more than one. People really did not know what they had.

Suddenly accused of making the acquaintance of anyone, of any sort, coupled with the hint of a smile pulling at Erwin's lips rendered Levi mute. Levi, a grown man, broke eye contact as if had just been caught doing something he shouldn't. He didn't feel ridiculed in anyway, but he knew this was just amusing Erwin to no end all the same.

"Yes," His voice was thick but unwavering as always, "Some people here are helpful."

Edited 2014-04-07 03:01 (UTC)

Erwin pretended not to notice how Levi looked away, but there was still the hints of a amusement there as he studied the maps, running a finger along the major highways, with curiosity. He shifts the map as he looks at the broad expanse of the Atlantic Ocean, something of the likes he had only heard of in old stories.

"Certainly, it is prudent to keep such people as allies especially considering we are the only two from our own world here," he remarked as he picked up the coffee once more. There is no hiding how much he actually is enjoying the coffee here, making a note to figure out just how that is managed.

Erwin had his laugh, and Levi was quick to fall into step and pouring over the maps with coffee in hand before Erwin did the impossible and cracked a real smile.

"Cape Canaveral," Levi tapped his finger over the sliver over land that jutted outside the expanse of the Florida peninsula, then his finger slide slightly to the side, "Gulf of Mexico is the ocean basin we'll see."

It was deliberate we'll see; it was the unspoken decision between them that come hell or high water, so to speak, they would see the ocean. A sort of monument to what the people braved the world outside the Walls fought for. Even it was just a lot of water, it was a lot of water that meant something to them.

Erwin doesn't miss Levi's choice of words, his expression entirely serious then. The members of the Survey Corps had fought, died, been devoured just for humanity to have the hope of venturing to see such a place, it was not something he would take lightly.

"So I see," is all he can say after a few long moments as he lets his fingers skim over the map, over the Gulf. In that pause he remembers all those who had be devoured, especially those who had given their lives under his command. "We shall see it soon."

Because there is no question, he will make sure of that.

Sometime during their plan making, Levi caught himself watching Erwin's fingers rove over the expanse of Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic. A subconscious act or not, it was hard not to notice. He wanted to pretend that empty space that used to be part of Erwin Smith robbed from him by a titan's maw was just one nightmare in the string of several, but Levi never denied the reality of their world. And neither did Erwin; he held that up as an empirical truth.

Levi breached professional and personal boundaries when he stilled Erwin somewhere over the coast of Africa with a heavy hand clasped over his forearm. White shirtsleeve gripped between his index and middle finger and examined with narrowed eyes like a problem to be fixed.

"Erwin," His voice was tight with pressure on his every word like he'd been angling to broach the subject the entire time they had been talking, "What's the last thing you remember?"

Erwin looked over at Levi with slightly widen eyes when the other's hand clasped his forearm. He didn't pull away, considering his words for a moment.

"Being questioned after the capture of Annie Leonhardt," he said then, keeping his gaze on Levi's narrow eyes, it's not difficult for him to hear the tension in his voice. "There is something you want to tell me," he prompted, no matter how bad it could be, Erwin would prefer to face it now rather than later. Avoiding the truth never made it go away so easily.

The last several weeks played out in his head in the few seconds it took Levi to retract his hand. So many unknowns and half uncovered truths; making the yoke Erwin wore heavier with so many uncertainties would only make things worse. To himself, Levi rationalized his decision to keep it to the absolutes.

"You were right," Levi hedged in quiet voice because he still didn't know where to even start, "About Leonhardt, and others like her. And more besides. The entire 104th might as well be hiding shit from us, but three titan shifters? Two of whom were responsible for the fall of Maria really makes you feel like shit for being right, doesn't it?"

Levi leaned back into the love seat as if his words were a solid force that pushed him back. All the while never breaking eye contact.

"Reiner Braun, Bertolt Fubar," The last five years suddenly built in his chest like an open wound left to fester because why couldn't they have seen this sooner or those pigs really listen to Erwin, "were the others and Ymir as well; only she remains a wild card. The announced themselves trying to finish what Annie started and attempted to kidnap Eren."

Something like a hollow laugh pushed through clenched teeth, because he was still left on the sidelines during all of this and was, as he saw it, useless. "And to top it all off? The Wallists knew more than we could have imagined. We're still left flapping bareassed in the wind here."

Shielding himself with his coffee cup pressed to his chin, Levi tried to allow for a silence to set in and let the air clear. Not that he expected it to, because bad news was all par for the course with them and why should they expect any different at this stage in the game. Levi grimaced and not just because his coffee had started to get cold.

"I'm sorry, Erwin," Levi's gaze dropped to the floor as he weighed which painful fact to inflict on Erwin fist, because how do you tell someone they lost their arm and their failures worsened "During all of this...Mike and his squad went MIA."

It seemed the world went cold around him at Levi's words. He remembered the reaction to his theory that there were Titan shifters among them, no one had wanted to listen. There was a glint in his eyes, however, that validation that his father's theories that what they were told wasn't the truth. This time the truth would come out, Erwin was determined on that point and if that meant they would live up their lives so humanity had a chance, than that was what was necessary.

"Attempted. They did not succeed?" he asked slowly. His welfare wasn't important in the face of this other news so he wasn't going to ask. His eyes were haunted at the mention of Mike and his squad going missing as he looked away. Another loss, another sacrifice in the fight for humanity's survival. It didn't lessen the blow, however, the emotional blow of losing more of the Corps.

"During the mission to recover Eren Jaeger," Levi's voice was distant as he rattled off verbatim the debrief he himself had been given, "Commander Erwin Smith was critically injured serving humanity."

He caught himself looking down as if expecting an empty space, and didn't look away.

"With the loss of his right arm."

Mike shouldn't have shaken him; titans theorized with surmounting evidence to have been human shouldn't have shaken him; he wanted to say he was unflappable. That was a bolder lie than what the Wallists had been feeding them. Erwin off the battlefield was cutting the head off the snake, and that shook him to the core.

"I see." That's all he can say, his right hand clenching into a fist. Erwin has always been willing to give up his life along his men if it came down with it but this is different.

He let out a breath, it would be a lie to say he wasn't shaken but even here he couldn't afford to be. This didn't mean he was going to simply stop fighting though, this was just going to be something he would have to adapt to. Giving up was never an option, even against overwhelming odds.

"As long as we were able to recover Eren, then that is a small sacrifice to make."

Erwin said it, I'll pay my debts in hell. There was question either of them wouldn't be willing to die in service to humanity, but being left on the sidelines felt like its own hell. It would only be easier if they didn't have to grit their teeth and pretend to like it.

"Shit," Levi pushed himself out of his seat with a sudden sense of purpose. Without another word he disappeared into the hallway that connected the living space with the rest of the apartment. Levi reappeared moments later with a plastic basket held at his hip.

Slapped down on the table in front of Erwin, it was soon obvious there was a white shirt and cotton pants thrown haphazardly at the bottom. "Clothes," Levi pointed out as if it weren't already obvious, "We should have clean uniforms if we're going to go swear ourselves to yet another government that tends to lie."

Rolling on the balls of his feet, Levi only hoped Erwin thought it would be best not to bring attention to his poor attempt to change the subject.

"I'm taking a shower before I get the titan shit out of our uniforms. Need anything?"

Erwin was almost relieved when Levi got up. Slowly he relaxed his right hand, dwelling on the future events back home would be of no use here. So he said nothing on Levi changing the subject when the other brought in the laundry basket.

If anything, the distraction is more than welcomed as he gets up, finishing off his lukewarm coffee before going to find where he had carefully put his Survey Corps uniform along with the 3DM gear. It's carefully folded in his arms along with the cloak as he brings it out, thankfully there aren't any noticeable stains on it aside from some mud and dust from the street.

"No. I believe I will go over the maps for now and attempt to familiarize myself with the nearby area today," he said as he sat back down. "Though if you happen to find more coffee, that was rather good."

"That shit is expensive," Levi cavilled with unnecessary harshness; his own way of eagerly falling back into normalcy.

While taking off his shirt because the military life robbed him of modesty when time-saving took precedence, Levi walked towards the open kitchen and tapped a large black machine on the marble counter. "We have a coffee maker," He explained, "Works about the same way as a cafetière."

Throwing his shirt into the now empty laundry basket along with his jacket and cravat making his way back towards the living room, Levi collected his things before turning back toward the hall.

"We have a long night ahead of us so you're going to want a shower before we leave."

"So that is what that is," Erwin nodded, looking intrigued. A machine that could make hot coffee, he knew he would be making frequent use of that. Before Levi had arrived he had investigated the apartment, including the indoor plumbing. The coffee machine had been intriguing but he hadn't had time to check out what it's function was.

"Of course. I will go after you, I want to finish looking at the maps for a moment," Erwin said as he started marking some with notes on places which caught his interest. He didn't think anything of Levi stripping in the living room, modesty was a luxury being in Survey Corps didn't afford them much of.

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CLOSED | sad, meaningful lyrics

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