This'll End With Cat Videos

[daintylegs]

WHO: Tailgate and Eridan
WHERE: Starting at Eridan's place
WHEN: March 9th
WHAT: Tailgate takes Eridan shopping and stuff
WARNINGS: None

Tailgate spent a good hour or so making sure his hair and clothes were totally awesome and not frumpy looking. Because if there's one thing he had learned while being on Earth, is that people frown on you when you don't look your best. Admittedly Cybertronians weren't much better at this, but at least Cybertronians didn't have a dozen things they had to fuss over to look good. Not that Tailgate minded wearing clothes, of course!

So when he knocked on the door he hoped was Eridan's, his hair was all nicely made up and he wore a pretty blue blouse. He figured that Eridan would appreciate the colour.

"Hellooooo! Room service! You ordered an afternoon of fun and excitement?"

Comments

[unconchonable]

Eridan was pretty grumpy by the time Tailgate arrived.

Not because anything particularly happened, but more so because diurnal lifestyles will never make sense to him. Everything is bright and obnoxious, and not a single human being has any sense for survival. I mean, really. Sure, maybe they don't have a death sun in the sky that burns and blinds them, but how in the ever loving FUCK is day time preferable to the nice dark of the night?

Whatever.

So when he heard Tailgate - or who he assumed to be Tailgate - speak up while knocking at the door, he answered it quickly, squinting at him from behind his thick-rimmed glasses. No, he wasn't totally waiting by the door for him to show up, alright? He's not some loser with no friends or anything!

"That I fuckin' did, this better be worth bein' up in the middle of the day--"

He trailed off as he saw Tailgate for the first time. What he saw wasn't what he was expecting, to be frank. Sure, he mentioned a human form, but he had assumed that the Cybertronian was a male, but now that he thought on it, robots probably don't have genders. Or did they? Tailgate never mentioned a gender, either.

HMMMM.

"I somehow was expectin' a dude, but it don't actually matter none." He offered offhandedly before taking in Tailgate's appearance a bit more. It definitely didn't matter, when she's fucking cute, that's for sure. He did take note of the blue blouse, a silent, small nod of approval. Fixing his scarf, and straightening his posture (a bit), he stepped out of the house, closing the door behind him.

"Shall we?"

[daintylegs]

Surprisingly, the topic of Tailgate's gender didn't come up as often as you'd think. Gender amongst Cybertronians is a funny thing, and Tailgate never put too much thought into it.

"I am a dude! But if you wanna see me as a girl you can do that too, it doesn't matter much to me!"

He bounces eagerly on the balls of his feet and grabs Eridan's hand so he could lead him down the hall. Tailgate is an inch or so below 5 feet so there's an extremely good chance that Eridan is much taller than he is. That doesn't bother Tailgate much either. When you're either half or one-third the size of others of your race, you sort of have to get used to that or get depressed.

Anyway.

"The mall is over this way! We'll find you a nice cape or we'll die trying! Okay, not really. I feel like I need to clarify that a little, people can be really weird about that kind of thing. Oh yeah it's nice to meet you in person by the way! I love your horns, they're really cute."

[unconchonable]

Perhaps if Eridan were human, he'd persist in telling Tailgate he's in a girl's body therefore a girl. Those rumblespheres? Totally a thing chicks have. However, he isn't, and he comes from a species where gender literally doesn't matter, so he lets it slide.

"Nah, whatewer, I guess I just got throw off by how you got a girl body. Kinda weird that they did that, if you're a guy or whatewer." He offers with a shrug. It doesn't matter in the long run, so he's fine with letting it go.

However, Eridan is a good five inches taller than Tailgate, which is a good height difference. So, good for him that he doesn't mind being a bit of a shorty.

"Yeah, I got that you... didn't actually mean it. 'Cos--" he's about to go on, but then Tailgate compliments his horns, and he can't help the slight violet that tints his face. He glances away from him for a moment, shrugging and trying to seem nonchalant.

It's not often he gets such blatant compliments from other people, alright?

"Uh... thanks. You---" he almost says 'you too' like a tool, catching himself just in time to not make a total ass of himself, "--got a nice... uh, shirt."

Nailed it.

[daintylegs]

If Tailgate was a jerk, he would have giggled a little over Eridan's accent. Luckily he's not a jerk and he finds it endearing. (Whatewer that's adorable). It's so easy to forget that they became friends over an agreement of genocide and oppression. But hey, friends are friends no matter how you make them, right?

Which was exactly what someone who didn't have a lot of friends would say.

"Aw thanks. It's my favourite shirt 'cuz blue is my favourite colour. I bought it at some place I can't remember."

They've finally left the building and Tailgate grins up at the bright sunlight. The sun here always feels warm and comfortable, it's one of his favourite things about Earth, and about being human.

"I hope you don't mind walking, it's, like, fifteen minutes over in that direction. I sort of wish I had teleportation powers, that'd make getting around the city so much easier."

[unconchonable]

Tailgate is, roughly, the only non-jerk Eridan has encountered. There have been other ones, but right now Tailgate is the only one Eridan would be able to recall not making fun of his accent.

"Well that's useful." He offers with a roll of his eyes. This guy is ditzy as fuck, but it doesn't really bother Eridan that much. He just can't help but be kinda bitchy by default.

Eridan squints as they walk out into the sunlight. It's not the sun of Alternia, one that would leave a troll like him burning and blind just being in its battering rays. However, it's still obnoxiously bright, and it does nothing to help Eridan's grumpy mood.

"I can deal with walkin' just fine. Just wish it wasn't so obnoxiously fuckin' bright." He grumbles the last bit, "Teleportin' would be ideal in this scenario, but what can you bloody do."

He'll just cross his arms over his chest in an attempt to be pouty as they walk. Who cares if their little trip out is ultimately for his benefit, he's gonna be pouty as fuck while enduring the board day light.

[daintylegs]

God Eridan don't be such a big baby. Tailgate is proud that he can make that comparison now because now he knows what a baby actually is. Y'know, "a fussy creature that makes a lot of senseless noise." At least Tailgate enjoys listening to this senseless noise. He considers grabbing on Eridan's hand, but he knows enough about Earth culture to know that it's weird to be that familiar. Of course, it's weird amongst Cybertronians too, but Tailgate's never really cared.

"You don't have a sun on your planet?" He asks, knowing full well that people like Eridan could never resist the chance to talk about themselves. Which is fine by Tailgate, he's interested in knowing more about him.

[unconchonable]

Eridan is literally incapable of not being a huge baby. He's fussy, selfish, and single-minded most the time. Demanding, to boot. He is, in all parts, a giant baby by his very nature. So, with Tailgate liking senseless noise, he's befriended the perfect troll for the job!

"We do." He offers quickly, "It was far more intense, howewer. Lookin' at it directly would blind you, lettin' its rays directly hit your husk would burn you - ewen kill you. We trolls are a nocturnal species, hawin' to hide from the sun, lest we wanted to die wia the sun."

Tailgate certainly wasn't wrong. Ask Eridan about himself or his planet, and he'd likely not shut up.

[daintylegs]

"I wish I could tell you a bit about Cybertron, my home planet, but truth is I didn't live on it for very long. My kind are inorganic so the sun doesn't bother us one way or another."

In all honesty, he can't imagine being that fragile. Being organic all one's life sounds mildly terrifying. Sure, he's organic now, but he won't be forever, right?

"Do you miss your home?"

[unconchonable]

"Any reason you weren't there for long?" He asks with actual curiosity. See, he's perfectly fine with learning about other aliens, so long as they're not human! He just isn't a huge fan of humans, is all!

While Eridan doesn't have the invulnerability of a Cybertronian body, he's at least a lot more durable than a human, so he definitely gets that in some regard. The fragility of humans and their ability to survive as long as they have is pretty astounding, not to mention frustrating.

"Of course I do. It's the only place that made any sense." He offers with a grimace. If he could go back to Alternia, before that stupid fucking game, everything would be so much better. He'd probably be some measure of happy, maybe.

[daintylegs]

"That's a bit hard to explain actually." Tailgate says slowly, tapping his chin as he tries to find the least pathetic way to tell his story. "I sort of passed out for six million years, which meant I missed a 4 million year long civil war, and then I ended up on a ship travelling away from Cybertron in the end. I guess technically I've been on Cybertron longer than most of my kind, but I remember almost none of it."

He pauses again. Truth is, he doesn't think too much about Cybertron anymore. Not while the Lost Light is his whole world. "I guess I'm a little homesick for my planet sometimes too."