maskormenacelogs

Entry tags:

[OPEN]

WHO: Normie Osborn and You!
WHERE: All over; locations specified in starters
WHEN: March
WHAT: Normie's trying to get used to his new life
WARNINGS: None, will edit as needed

01. Nonah - Around Residence 004

[He didn't set out to build a goblin glider.

At least, not at first. It was originally an attempt to figure out how this world's hovering technology worked. However, when he found out that this was a guarded industry secret, he gave it up for the time being and started to learn about the steam engines certain cars used instead. The problem was, he could only learn so much by reading about them. He was the type who learned through reverse engineering and trial and error.

And that's where the glider came in.

He needed something to put a steam engine in, and between his brief (better left forgotten) career as the Green Goblin and Phil's, he'd built or modified enough goblin gliders that even without the blueprints, the design was familiar enough that he was able to reproduce it from memory. Sure, it might not have been an exact replica of the ones back home, but everything worked properly, and that's all that mattered. Getting the steam engine to work in the glider proved a challenge, but after a few sleepless nights, Normie finally got the hydraulics to stop leaking and frying the circuit board, and the glider was ready to take to the skies.

Which is exactly what he was doing on this night, as well as the past few nights. The glider itself isn't exactly something he'd show off to people (or even use beyond testing), but he sees no reason in making the outer shell look polished if the device didn't work. Besides looking like a typical glider's ugly cousin, it also doesn't have the signature horned mask head in the front. Normie's aware of how bad this might look, and had tried to make the glider look less like he's about to go terrorize a Parker on a bridge somewhere (but really, it just looks like a goblin glider without a mast, so he failed).

Keeping himself attached to the glider by specially designed magnets on his shoes, Normie just pilots the machine around the perimeter of his backyard at first, maneuvering it in small circles a few inches off the ground to make sure everything's still working before bringing the glider straight up a few feet, his body perpendicular to the ground below before he evens himself out. Nervous he might still be visible despite the darkness, he goes a little higher before attempting to push the glider's limits, speeding across his neighborhood in a giant circle. When he's satisfied the glider can handle it, he lands back in his backyard, but not before doing a loop-de-loop in the air for good measure.

He's taken precautions to not be seen during his testing: doing it at night, wearing all black, designing the glider to be as quiet as possible, but even with all of that, he's still probably not as stealthy as he'd hoped.]

02. Maurtia Falls - The streets

[Ever since Clark Kent had mentioned the thrift shops in Maurtia Falls to him, Normie found himself venturing out there first whenever he's on the hunt for some old, busted electronics. He has found they typically had a good selection, were inexpensive, and that any sort of damage the machines might have were cosmetic. Sure, he can buy the parts he needed, but this way he not only saves money, he's able to learn more about this world's technology by disassembling them (there are obviously exceptions, parts Normie refuses to compromise on by salvaging it from other units, but whatever he can salvage he does).

In this particular outing, Normie is done for the day, and is somehow precariously balancing a stereo, a microwave, and a computer tower in his arms, to say nothing of the two cloth shopping bags containing who knows what hanging from one arm. Though he doesn't appear to be too worried about dropping anything, he also can't see very well in front of him, doing his best by craning his neck around the side of the tower of junk and attempting to maneuver around anyone else on the street.

Careful, or he might bump into you.]

03. Heropa - A cafe

[One of the perks of his job as a Family Genealogy Researcher is that he's not stuck in an office all day, as often the research takes him out to various libraries and government offices. Rather than return to his office when he's done, he instead finds the nearest cafe, parks at an empty table, pulls out his laptop and any sort of notes he'd written down, and gets to work filling out various client's genealogy charts (after he pays for a coffee and a pastry, of course. Both of which he's careful to keep away from both his laptop and his papers).

He always tries to do this after the lunch rush, though he's not always successful. He might be hogging one of the cafe's larger tables, or perhaps he's asking to use the plug near your foot for his laptop cord, or maybe he's actually managed to knock his coffee all over his table, pulling his laptop away to safety in time, but not his notes.]

04. All over - The library

[Another place Normie finds himself visiting with frequency are the local libraries. If he's not looking through public records, he's at the microform machine looking at old newspapers. He's at the one in Nonah so often people have actually confused him for a librarian (even though he isn't, if he can help, he does). Often, when he finishes gathering the information he needs, he can be found wandering the shelves for a bit before leaving, taking a particular interest in the Science Fiction and Fantasy, Graphic Novel, Mystery, and Nonfiction sections, as well as the DVDs.

And because Normie apparently can't get enough of the library (no, really, he could, he just thought it would be a nice gesture), he's teaching a Genealogy workshop in each of the major libraries in the Porter cities. The blurb on the libraries bulletin boards and inside their newsletters reads:

Researching your family tree may appear daunting, but thanks to the Internet it has never been easier. Learn how to utilize search engines and other free resources to uncover your ancestry.
If you catch him teaching one of these workshops, you'll see him explaining each of the resources in what he hopes is an engaging manner, though some of his explanations might be a little too technical in the earlier classes, and he has to stop to clarify several times. He'll also stay as late as needed, answering any questions any stragglers might have.]

[OOC: Or feel free to make your own starter!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If only I had tried to please my family. [Like his mother, or Franklin.] Instead I was wasting my time trying to please ghosts.

I wanted nothing more. I wanted to finally put on that mask and succeed where my father and grandfather failed. The first time I did, I failed spectacularly. It made me angry, and I wanted revenge. The second time I failed even more spectacularly, and I realized something. The reason I was failing, the real reason, was that I didn't want to be the Green Goblin. I didn't like the person it had turned me into, but I felt I had no other choice. I had to do it, to use it to bring pride to the Osborn name... I was consumed by it. Just like my father had been. The line separating reality from delusion started to blur.

[Pauses.]

I wanted to stop, but... but I couldn't. I could see where all of this was taking me, but the train had already jumped the tracks and there was nothing I could do. So I put on the costume one last time, determined to let it destroy me too. If I couldn't stop it, I could at least make sure I was the only one who got hurt.

[Looks down at his hands, which were balled so tightly in his lap his knuckles were white.]

I was saved by the very person I had convinced myself was my greatest enemy. Thanks to her, I was able to get my life back together. I swore I'd never be the Green Goblin again.

[Crane listens. He doesn't interrupt, no - and he doesn't say anything after for a while. He's sitting peacefully in his chair, hands clasped in his lap. He's listening. Listening to the words again in his head, and weighing the gravity of the situation for Normie for himself, as best as he can.]

Every man has a shadow inside him, Norman. You claim you didn't like the man this... mask.. transformed you into, and feel you had no choice but to violently remove it. But a mask is a face we show the world. The darkness is entirely our own. Have you escaped it, truly?

I don't think anyone can truly escape their darkness, Doctor. But I do believe we can be better than it wants us to be. Back home, with a good man's help, I managed to make the Green Goblin a force for good. I took control of my family's business, and I was working for that to mean something too. I had a support system. I had a purpose. I could stand up to the public scrutiny.

[Unconsciously spins the wedding band on his left hand. He's still not used to it being there.]

I don't have that here. I'm doing everything I can to keep my head held high, but I'm starting to feel the pressure in ways I haven't since right before I gave in to being the Green Goblin in the first place. It's not that I want to go back to being the Green Goblin, I just... I'm scared that I'm going to do it anyway. That something will happen and I'll devolve like my dad did. I know it's not rational, but the thought won't go away.

[He notices Norman spin the ring on his finger - the young man doesn't even seem to notice he's doing it, doesn't seem to notice him watching, perhaps. To say that he cared about being caught was inaccurate. Either he had ammunition, or Norman knew he had nowhere to escape.

Even if he left the office, Crane's seed had been planted - he was running from something, much like he was running away from a perfectly nice, considerate doctor who just wanted to help.]

Well. I have another opinion on this, Norman. [A pause, a heartbeat.] Are you frightened that, when that happens, you'll lose your wife? I'm sorry. You just seem like the type of man who'd devote his life to a special partner. Plus, well... [He gestures at the spinning ring.]

[He freezes.]

I...

[Though his mouth attempts to move a couple of times, it takes a moment for him to find the words.]

I saw what my father did to my mother as he lost it. I could never do that to Brenda. [He would genuinely rather die.]

...But even if I do lose it here, it won't matter. She's home. Safe from anything I could possibly do.

That's true. She's... still...

[Crane leans forward, excited - but he's hiding it impeccably well. He gently brings up a notebook that had been down the side of his chair. His voice is calm, gentle... encouraging.]

What did your father do?

Edited 2015-03-24 22:07 (UTC)

I don't exactly remember specifics when he was alive. He died when I was still very young. It's more I could see the effects as I grew up. My mom always talked to me about him whenever I asked, but she'd never bring him up unless I did. And whenever we talked, there was always this look in her eyes. She loved him, she truly did, but he traumatized her. He traumatized all of us. N-not that he meant to! Dad was very sick, and he just refused to get help...

You know...I'm honestly still not sure if this was a dream or a real memory, but...We were eating dinner. Me, my dad, my mom, and Uncle Mark. It was a really nice dinner, super fancy. My dad was dressed as the Green Goblin, and tried to convince me it was just a game. Mom was terrified. Uncle Mark was pissed. He beat up Uncle Mark, and told me they weren't really my family. That they weren't Osborns. It broke my mom's heart. And I believed him. For far too long, I believed him.

[Crane marks a few points off - symbols, familiar words - and tilts his head to indicate that he's acknowledging Norman's problem. He believes him; it's difficult living up to expectations, especially if parents and care-givers tell you you're not really family or you don't even deserve their name.]

I see. It's one thing to be told of the burden of a name, and another to live with it on your shoulders. I presume you want that weight removed from your shoulders, correct?"

I...

[Was that really what he wanted?]

No. I'm proud of being an Osborn, even though I know there will always be a certain stigma attached to it. I easily could have taken my mothers last name, or my stepfathers, but I'm an Osborn. My family might have serious flaws, and I know that's the understatement of the year, but I love them for and in spite of their shortcomings. Even my grandfather, who tormented the family of my father's best friend for years, and who manipulated my father and me into continuing that legacy in his name. I love him, even though at the same time I want to kill him every time I see him.

What I want removed is the... curse, for lack of a better word, that killed my father and grandfather. On a good day, I feel like I've beaten it, but there's just as many bad ones when I feel there still might be a piece of that Green Goblin-shaped curse inside me, and that I'm going to go back to being that man. Like it's my destiny to die fighting someone else's stupid war.

I see. How dreadful are the curses that we lay upon our shoulders. People say love can be a terrible curse, Norman, but there are no curses, no superstitions. We accept good fortune as our due, but any misfortune we call a curse and claim it was aimed at us. Curses exist because people fear taking responsibility for their decisions.

[People like you.]

To belong to an idea is both a blessing and a curse, Norman. If we know nothing of pain, we know nothing of pleasure. If we know nothing of defeat, we know nothing of victory. You chose to don the mask. Can you truly say you accept that decision you made?

Becoming the Green Goblin and terrorizing... who I terrorized, is on me and me alone, and I accept that. I could blame anyone or anything, but at the end of the day, it stops with me. I made that decision of my own free will. I won't make excuses for that.

Hmm. I suppose you're not the only one to face the consequences of that, though.

[He taps his fingers together.]

You made the choice to wear the mask - and took the decision to remove it. Your loved ones don't have like freedom to make any judgment to ignore the ramifications of your behavior.

I know that too. I don't expect forgiveness. From anyone. [Including himself.]

Absolution. Compassion. One's desire to be forgiven their sins. These are all the signs of a guilty mind, Norman. But before people can forgive us, we must forgive ourselves.

[He considers having Norman tearing up the planks to listen to the beating heart of his alter-ego.]

If you don't expect forgiveness, what are you doing here? Why are you seeking reconciliation with your inner workings? Think about the scope of what you're asking. In the cosmic perspective, none of us truly matter. Is it worth seeking forgiveness, knowing that?

[He hangs his head a bit lower. He knows he's got a guilty conscience, but hearing it from Dr. Crane really digs it home. When he speaks, his voice is low and even.]

Because I know I can't change my past, but I can change my future. I need to make sure I never become that person again. That I don't try to hurt people I care about again.

[A silent moment. Crane clenches his jaw and lifts his notebook against his crossed leg, looking deep in thought. He focuses on the actual problem and every emotion Norman's feeling; guilt, shame, embarrassment, anxiety. He tilts his head, slightly.

His fingers drum the book's cover. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Build up the tension. Crank it up.

Then break it.]

Are you familiar with the phrase "a leopard can never change it's spots"?

Of course. I don't mean for you to take it literally. But to confront a problem, you cannot run and hide away. You must stare it down - you must wrestle it. You must come to know it intimately, so when the time comes you can accept it's part of you. I'm afraid it's not easy, but you don't strike me as a coward, Norman.

[A small voice in the back of Normie's mind is sending up alarm bells, that something isn't right and he should get out of there. He's been to enough psychiatrists in the past year to know what was considered normal, and this was anything but. Unfortunately, it's almost entirely drowned out by the waves of panic that wash over him at the mere thought of becoming the Green Goblin again, even if just for treatment.]

Knowing that idea scares me doesn't make me a coward. I gave the name and costume away to a good man, not just to change the perception of the Goblin, but so that I'd never have the temptation to slip back into my old ways. Wanting to change isn't the same as running away.

I suppose not.

[He sounds very patient. He hadn't told Norman outright to take back the cowl, but that's what he was suggesting. He drummed the notebook a few more times - thump, thump - before speaking considerately. And at the same time he rests his left hand on his heart.]

But I think the traits you're wanting to change aren't in a mask, Norman. They're not here. [His voice trails off. He lifts his hand, clenches it, and points a finger at his temple - his head.] They're all in here.

[Finished, he clasps his hands in his lap. The implication being even without the costume, there was no change - no running.]

[Normie's hands are balled into fists, and his voice is still low.]

Even if that's true, I won't let it out again. I won't.

Really? Are you sure?

[Crane tilts his head. He's searching Norman for something. His clenched fists clue him in - he's resolved. Resolved to hide his frustration, restraint, anxiety and darkest thoughts. In a way, the fact he believed he could hide it was funny.]

It's the tiniest voice spreading doubt that you have to listen out for, Norman. Can you honestly say it's not trying to come through? Perhaps even right now?

[Looks down at his hands.]

...If it wasn't, I wouldn't be here.

[There we go.

Crane steeples his fingers again. He taps them together whilst keeping a very calm face. Each sad glance Norman gives his hands doesn't go unnoticed - he taps his fingers in rhythm with each look.]

I know you can listen to your voices, Norman. It's proof enough you listened to another suggesting you contact me - because it wanted me to help you. You don't enjoy hurting people, but by hurting yourself you're wounding them anyway - am I right?

[Unclenches his fists so he can clasp them in his lap. He doesn't look up.]

Yes.

[Crane smoothes out his trousers, then clasps his hands in his lap again.]

I can't say I understand the personal experience of a man in your position, but I know everyone has to wear a mask that at times feels more like skin - and sometimes it's a fact wearing them, climbing into them, is a burden. Have you considered donning such a mask in a controlled environment? Amongst friends who can keep you safe, perhaps?

[Or a psychiatrist's office.]

[No, he really doesn't want to.

Instead, he says:]

...I don't even have the Green Goblin mask here.

[Of course, he does have an alien symbiote that can turn part of itself into the Green Goblin mask, but he's keeping that fact to himself.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject