closed | I am nothing without pretend

[vaccination]

WHO: Ellie and Joel
WHERE: Their place.
WHEN: A few days after Freddie's post.
WHAT: Tattling and issues.
WARNINGS: Will be added if needed.

[Ellie doesn't make it a habit to talk about other people with Joel. He has a way of not giving a shit about them and trying to make it seem like they aren't worth their time--a quick way of making her upset, so she's more or less stopped talking about people with Joel. That's fine. They have a lot to talk about that doesn't turn into an argument.

Today she can't help but make an exception.

She's pacing around the living room, Lucy passed out on the sofa because following Ellie around is tiring. She's been at it for a while, waiting for Joel to come home, convincing herself not to start shit with someone (Freddie) just because she's annoyed and anxious.

When she's home before Joel she usually makes him a sandwich or something, and that's what's sitting on the kitchen counter. But it's a little sloppier than usual, top piece of bread crooked and flat from being pressed down too hard.

Okay, she's a little pissed. Welcome home, Joel.]

Comments

gonna prose this time because i dunno just because

[shittybirthday]

Joel trudges up the stairs, tired and his shoulders aching from hours of driving. He's not long returned the rental car to the depot, and he's looking forward to just sitting the hell down with a beer, some food and eventually crashing out. Spending time with Ellie, too - spending time with her after being away a few days is what he looks forward to most. Always makes coming home worth it, and Lucy's excitement is always a treat to be welcomed with, too.

Reaching the door to his and Ellie's place, he rolls his neck briefly and feels it pop as he slots the key in the lock and turns it. "Hey, kiddo," he greets a little gruffly, shutting the door behind him.

Only having just walked through the door, he hasn't noticed that anything is bothering Ellie - not yet, anyway.

everything is ruined deletes journal

[vaccination]

Oh, he will. Ellie's usual clinging hug is absent as she heads over to Joel, hands wringing together in front of herself. An anxious habit. There should be some sort of preamble, her reminding him about Freddie's bullshit, maybe her telling Joel that she had asked Jesse about whether it was true or not, but that's not what happens.

"Jesse's talking about leaving."

sob :'(

[shittybirthday]

Oh, Joel notices that - the way Ellie approaches him but doesn't hug him like she usually does. Usually, she flings herself at him like she hasn't seen him in weeks and it never fails to make him melt a little inside, doesn't matter how tired or grumpy he is. This - her coming to a stop in front of him, hands wringing together anxiously - is out of character for Ellie at a time like this, and Joel slowly sets his satchel down by the door while eyeing her with a questioning frown.

"Leaving?" he echoes. Satchel on the floor, he straightens up. "Leaving what?"

[vaccination]

She wets her lips, searching for a response that doesn't completely put a spotlight on her abandonment issues. The thing is, she hadn't really thought past just telling Joel that Jesse was leaving. What could Joel do? Bully him into sticking around, knock some common sense into him? Ellie's gentle approach didn't seem to hold much weight.

"Leaving here. He said, California. That's where he wanted to go. Because of fucking Freddie and her goddamn post."

Helplessly, she looks up at Joel. "He got spooked."

[shittybirthday]

"California?"

What the hell. Joel knows the post Ellie is talking about - he saw it while he was in Pennsylvania, read through it while lying in a hotel bed trying to get to sleep. He hadn't cared about anyone that had been mentioned on that post - except maybe Jesse, maybe a little, sort of. Though, nothing of importance was mentioned on there - just details about drugs and STDs, nothing to raise eyebrows at as far as Joel is concerned. He did, however, get a small twinge of apprehension at the thought of this Freddie woman finding out about Jesse's meth business. But that hadn't come up, and that was what mattered most, as far as Joel is concerned.

"He wants to go to California just 'cause that woman outed him as a junkie?"

[vaccination]

"He was freaking out about being dangerous and crazy," Ellie corrects, because something bristles at how casually Joel says that. "Like... he sounded crazy, with how he was worrying about it. He--he was saying all this stupid crap about being alone."

A thing that obviously upsets her, because she has to stop and rub her hands over her face.

[shittybirthday]

Yeah, well, the kid has melted bodies in acid. That could be classed as dangerous and crazy. Joel knows better, though - Joel knows Jesse ain't about to just go grabbing people off the street and dumping them in acid for the hell of it. He's also pretty sure the kid would more likely piss himself while killing someone rather than do it with cold efficiency, doesn't matter how many bodies he might have melted.

He eyes the way Ellie rubs her face like she's about to cry, or like she's trying to hide the threat of tears from him. Joel can't help it - he feels a twinge of aggravation - and perhaps a little possessive jealousy - at how much Ellie worries about Jesse, how much she cares about him.

He's also getting pissed off at how this situation has cut into time he was hoping to spend relaxing with Ellie after a long few days on the road. And despite himself, he's also, deep down, a little worried about Jesse just up and leaving. Stupid goddamn kid.

Joel decides to downplay that last bit. Tries to make it seem like he doesn't care.

"He's probably just bein' paranoid. Ain't uncommon with junkies."

[vaccination]

"Stop calling him that." Maybe he is a junkie. Maybe he is dangerous and crazy, but Ellie doesn't like hearing it said, even if she's alright with it. The last thing Ellie is concerned about is the business--they have enough money for a while. Her main concern is Jesse overreacting and not thinking straight.

Okay, maybe that's only partially true. She doesn't want him to go away for months that might turn into forever, because she likes having him in her life. He's a big part of it and losing that would hurt. She'd fight tooth and nail to keep Jesse around.

"--look. Can you talk to him? I think he'll listen to you more than me."

[shittybirthday]

Joel shifts his weight from one foot to the other, looking away at Ellie snapping at him about calling Jesse a junkie. He is a junkie. Or he was, anyway. Why the hell does Ellie take such issue with that? Christ.

"Ellie," he begins when she goes on to say about him talking to Jesse. He turns his attention back to her. He motions to the door behind him. "I only just got in after three days on the road."

Of course he's going to talk to Jesse. But, jeez, this isn't how he wanted to be greeted when getting home.

[vaccination]

There's a sharp intake of air. Right. She immediately feels bad for springing this on him before he even got a chance to sit down. Couldn't help it.

"Sorry," comes the apology as she rubs the back of her neck. "I'm just worried about him, is all."

Which opens her up for a why do you care? comment from Joel, so she quickly motions to the kitchen. "I made you a ham and cheese sandwich."

[shittybirthday]

Why do you care? is definitely on the tip of his tongue but Ellie distracts him with mention of the sandwich. Joel looks over at the kitchen, back at Ellie, then starts around her towards the kitchen looking none too impressed. Unimpressed about Jesse, that is, not about the sandwich. Lucy jumps off the couch and scampers towards him, tongue lolling out happily, tail wagging, and Joel reaches down to scratch behind her ears briefly.

When he reaches the kitchen, he fetches a beer out of the fridge, takes up the plate and heads for the couch, where he sits down with a heavy sigh, setting the plate and the bottle down on the coffee table with a quiet clack.

"Look, I'll talk to him, alright?" he says gruffly.

[vaccination]

Already seated next to him, Joel gets his hug from Ellie now. It's light and brief since she's sure he wants to eat, but thankful, because as gruff as Joel can be, maybe that's what Jesse needs. A reality check.

"Thanks, Joel."