maskormenacelogs | Do you wanna know a secret?

Of course, Ed has been expecting her to all but break down the door since Freddie spilled those files. If anything, he is surprised she didn't just immediately barge in the second she heard it and managed to restrain herself by chatting over the network prior, giving some kind of head's up. There's a reason Ed tried to keep this from her. Knowing she'd freak out, worry. But there's nothing to be done for it now, after the fact.

"W-well, it's.....a long story. After you guys left back for Briggs and all. Kimblee found me."

He half begins to explain, pausing in tying his hair back when she enters, turning from where he stands near the dresser and drawers and gesturing to her to sit down on the bed. At least she hasn't yet led in with a wrench to the face like he'd been half anticipating needing to dodge.

Winry's hands flexed into fists but she did take the seat on the bed. Her expression was still angry, though curiosity was starting to bleed through, at least a little bit.

Without anyone to tell her to stay out, Zoey trotted into the room, lying down on the floor near Winry's feet.

"All right," Winry said, using her bare foot to rub Zoey's back. Her eyes were still narrowed, but she was somewhat more relaxed. Except for her fisted hands.

Ed shifts across to the door, shutting it once Zoey enters. The rest of the house didn't need to hear it and he gets the feeling it could get loud. Heated. As some conversations between them tend to get. It's once he kicks the door open and finishes tying back his hair that he joins her on the bed.

"There's not...really a lot to say. We fought, I underestimated him, didn't realize he had two Stones on him. He used the second one to create an explosion. We were fighting in the mines, and it collapsed. I fell, one of the beams did too, ended up going through my stomach, near the hip with the debris. I had some knowledge about medical alchemy. Enough that I could use it to close the wound to at least stop the bleeding. I told the chimera to follow after Kimblee but they ignored that and carried me to a hospital instead."

But he had to keep going. To keep his promise. To get Al's body back. To not make Winry cry anymore. Now all he can do is wait. Wait for her reaction. The yelling, the protests, the crying. The wrench, possibly.

Winry reached for Ed's shirt, to pull it up and check out the wound. What remained of it. Edward might bat her hand away, but she had to try, to see it, to know it for herself. But she stopped, dropping her hand back into her lap, fisting it again.

She'd made many of his scars, or been there to help make them. She knew he had more, he had to have, from the fights he'd been in. She'd seen the bandages wrapped around his body while he was in the Central City hospital.

"Kimblee." She swallowed hard, looking down at her clenched hands in her lap. "You warned me against him." Why didn't you take the warning yourself, she didn't ask. She and Ed were alike that way - they trusted, and led with their hearts, and got hurt because of it. "They - Mr. Heinkel and Mr. Darius - took good care of you." And she should thank the doctor who took care of Ed afterward.

The anger swirled back into her. "But you should've told me!" The hand that had bene reaching for his shirt drew back and punched him in the chest, hard.

Ed unfortunately isn't quite quick enough to stop her lifting his tank top up, revealing the large, ugly scar at his lower stomach. If she checked fully, she'd note the exit wound as well, where the chimera had to help shift him and pull the beam out. It's only after she gets a glimpse that he attempts to pull his singlet down.

"I did. Always knew he was bad news. Just didn't count on him having two Philosopher's Stones. Thought I had him when I swatted one away and cut the circle on his palm. But you're right. I owe them. They didn't need to help me like that. Could have run, gone back home to their families."

But they hadn't. They had stuck by and made sure Ed got help. Probably saved his life by disobeying him and taking him to a doctor.

"And what would that have done? It wouldn't have changed anything. You'd only worry. Get mad, like this. But you weren't there. You couldn't do anything, it's happened and I'm fine now!"

And then there's the slight gasp as she punches him. He really should have anticipated that. If not more, during this sort of conversation. Argument, more like. And this isn't even going into that he used part of his own life to heal it as best he could initially afterward.

Winry grunted, scowling at Ed. "You idiot. You don't have to carry everything by yourself! Maybe I can't do anything about it now, but I still want to know! I need to know, because that kind of wound could affect the rest of your body, and that means your automail could be affected, too!"

She didn't want to think that she'd nearly lost him, and would've never known. Kimblee had a lot to answer to.

"I never even thought about the auto-mail. It's kind of far down to affect the arm? And way too high up that it would have any hindrance to the leg. I've been managing fine since the doctors let me go."

Naturally he tries to brush it off. As usual. To keep her worry at bay, or at least try to. He's used to this look whenever he breaks his arm but somehow there's more right now. Because it was him, not the arm she could so easily repair or replace this time.

"I'm sorry, okay. But I'm fine now. Really. You've seen me around here for months and there's been no sign of it, no lingering side effects from it."

"Just because it's not bothering you now doesn't mean it won't! Not just here, either." She pointed at the scarred area, her finger trembling, then jerked it up to tap Ed's forehead. A lot lighter than usual - she didn't send him sprawling. "I've worked with soldiers, Ed, I know about soldier's heart. What happens when a soldier's seen or done or hurt too much. And you've been running as hard as you can since that night..." Her voice caught. "Since Al carried you back to the house."

Well...not since then, maybe. Since the soldiers showed up at the house and gave Ed something to hope for.

Ed is about to open his mouth to protest, but he doesn't quite manage. Not when she talks about that night. He may not have actively been recruited to war, but he can't exactly deny he's seen and done a lot all the same. Been through more than most others his age.

"Winry...I've been running from my mistake. Trying to fix it. And I do. After that....well, if Al's body is anything like what I saw at the Gate still, he'll need time to recover. We'll get some time to relax and think on what to do next. I won't always be running."

Which doesn't really negate or change her concerns, but it's something. Some small way of trying to reassure her without outright lying, because of course certain things still haunt him. Still give him nightmares.

Winry sighed, letting her head fall forward. Al needed his body back, yes. She understood that. But Al wasn't here. It didn't matter, all it meant was Ed's focus would be on either trying to get Al back here, or himself back home. Ed wouldn't listen to what she was trying to tell him.

Without looking at him, back to staring at her hands clenched in her lap, Winry said quietly, "You don't have to run here."

"Besides from those Hornet guys and Russians and others that don't like us imPorts? Yeah. This is really catching a break in comparison to back home."

Or, in some ways it almost is. At least he doesn't have the fate of the entire country to worry about? She isn't wrong, not entirely. He's got confirmation that it works out with Alphonse. There's no military to stop, no homunculi or Father. He's not even sure what he can do to try keep her safe. The arena mess was bad enough. But that's not something he wants to go into right now.

Winry pressed her twined hands to her mouth. Ed was right, of course. There were just as many people here who might want to do them harm as there were back home. But it seemed different, to her. Maybe because she hadn't been fighting all those years that Ed had, trying to get Al's body back. She hadn't been there through all of it. She'd missed four years of the search, and only recently had been made a part of it again.

"It's a different world with different problems, and it's up to us how much of that we take on." Unless, of course, people made them take it on, like in Colorado.

"Exactly. Right now my priority is keeping you safe and trying to figure out that Porter. Well, and punching Freddie if I get the chance for starting all this."

He tries to reassure her, to comfort her, one hand almost tentatively shifting around her back to her head. This is why he hadn't said anything. He didn't want to upset her like this. But keeping it from her only made her angrier, only backfired. Again.

"I might punch her myself." Winry narrowed her eyes, her hands tightening into fists again. "If I see her first." Too many of her friends had been hurt - or there was potential for being hurt - by the publication.

Still, she sighed when Ed patted her head. She wished he'd just tell her things, rather than her finding out about them second-hand, or when his hand was forced in another way. Ed might think he was protecting her when it felt more like he was keeping secrets from her.

"Or....you could. Pretty sure there's gonna be a line though. We're hardly the only ones pissed at her for this, as far as I can see."

Still, that doesn't stop his own anger at this. Not just because it affects him, but everyone else too. Even if some of that was lies, there were still some truths to that, truths that could potentially be used against them.

"I guess in some way we should be glad it's not worse. Could have been more personal information. On everyone. Or she could have given this stuff to the Hornets or some other group."

In all though, Ed just didn't see telling her about Briggs as being that important since it was over and it would have only upset her. In hindsight he should have figured she would find out eventually, but he was just trying to protect her. Trying not to make her cry or look like that again. Which obviously backfired. The same as it did when he had suspicions on Scar being the one who killed her parents.

"Yeah, it could be worse." Still, bad enough. Now Kimblee actually knew where they lived, and while he seemed like a gentlemen in appearance, who knew what he might do, given the chance to 'drop by for a visit.'

Not just Scar, but also Mr. Hughes. And being a hostage. So many secrets. It's a wonder she trusted Ed at all.

"We'll just...figure it out from here as things go. If anything happens from all this mess."

Which it probably will. But there's not a lot to do for it now when it is all already out there on the network. Deleting it now wouldn't change anything, that so many saw it. But Ed is determined to do what it takes to make sure this doesn't impact on her.

"It'll be okay, Winry."

No promise, but he's going to try. And he'll make sure that she's safe. Somehow.

"Yeah...it's not like we don't have friends here." She offered Ed a smile, weak, but still a smile.

It faded, though. She was still angry at Ed. "If you keep another secret like that from me, I swear I'll take your arm and won't replace it."

"Exactly. We'd manage something."

And it isn't like they're completely alone in regards to those here from home, from Amestris. Though Ed's expression falls a bit when she rounds on him again.

"You wouldn't."

Okay, no. She probably -- totally would if he pissed her off enough.

"Alright, alright! That's the only major injury that you won't know about. And now you do. Unless you want me to tell you about every bruise from sparring."

It's sincere, though half teasing as he tries to reassure her still.

"Oh, yes, I would. And not just injuries, Ed. Any secret." She poked him in the chest with a stiffened forefinger, though her sudden flare of anger fades into something a bit sadder.

"I don't like being left in the dark. Like about Mr. Hughes, or Scar." Or being a hostage, she doesn't say. "I know you're trying to protect me, but it feels more like you don't trust me to...know how to act or something."

"I had no idea about Hughes either Winry. Not until I saw that in the paper, and I wanted to find out what was going on with that before I told you. Same thing with Scar. I had my suspicions but I wanted to confirm that first. Going to you without that with something like that....it could have just turned out worse. I don't do it because I don't trust you. I do."

He admits, giving a sigh as she pokes him in the chest. None of this is easy and he knows he's kept things from her before.

"If I didn't trust you, do you really think I would have told you this much? I've accepted that you're involved in all this back home, whether I wanted you to be caught up in it or not. Here too."

The only 'secret' he has from her here is that he meets with Greed. And that isn't entirely a secret, given she knows he traveled with the homunuclus back home, was friends with Ling.

Winry huffed softly, looking at her knees again. "I think...you're learning to let me in." After keeping her at arm's length for so long.

She twisted her fingers together, because if she was going to scold him for keeping secrets, then she should tell hers, too. Taking a deep breath, she let it out, a little shudder running through her. This was hard, but she knew it was right to tell him. Noi had scolded her for not saying anything when she'd talked her about it.

"Ed, I...there's something I need to tell you, too."

"Hm? Tell me what?"

Ed frowns a little, looking to her. He's not mad, just curious. Perhaps a little concerned given she seems nervous about whatever she's about to tell him. It's not that surprising though. Winry has the right to her share of secrets too, just as anyone does. He's told her a lot about what he's been up to on his journey over the years, but certain things are harder to talk about.

"Winry, what's wrong?"

She took another breath, glancing sideways at Ed, then turning slightly to face him again.

"I...I don't think I'll be able to leave here. Ever, I mean."

But that wasn't everything, or an explanation.

"When I was pulled here from back home...I...I was dying. I think...back home, I'm dead."

"What.....? No, Hohenheim said he had a countermeasure for when Father tried that. From what Mustang said everything works out. So it's probably just....temporary, before--before Hohenheim fixes it."

Ed hopes. Because there is no way he--no way everyone had come this far only to have those outside the immediate circle die like that. There is no way he could accept that idea. Not having Winry to go home to. Not having her constant presence there in Resembool waiting for them. So he tries to reassure her, and himself.

"I...I don't know. I was going to ask Major Armstrong." Because surely, he would've known and told her. She wasn't sure that anyone else would've cared. Mr. Mustang didn't seem like the one who would let her know, if he even knew. And forget Major General Armstrong. She wouldn't care unless it affected Edward when she, herself, needed him for something.

"I'm sure if something did happen and it was...not only temporary he'd have said something. It's pretty obvious when he gets upset or whatever."

Which is true. Armstrong is a fairly open book, and is never able to really restrain himself. Mustang never mentioned it either and something like this seems pretty important to keep from him and/or Winry. So Ed has his doubts on this being anything more than temporary, even if the idea of it happening at all worries and scares him.

"I can talk to Mustang, if that would help you feel better. But he never mentioned this to me and neither did Armstrong."

He tries to reassure her, one hand to her head and half around her shoulders.

"Other people keep secrets, too, Ed." Winry knew that as well as he did. "But...if Mr. Mustang knows whether I do...I am alive, I'd like to know."

She leaned her shoulder into his, accepting the comfort for the moment.

"I know. I just don't see the Major as one of them. At least, not easily and not without reason. I'll talk to the Colonel. Did you want to be there when I do?"

Of course, he'd tell her the answer either way, but whether Winry would want to be there at the time and hear it from Roy is another story. It's a rare moment Ed is so reassuring and physically close like this, but he's trying.

Winry shook her head. "I don't think I could be there." It was part of the reason she couldn't find it in herself to ask Major Armstrong. She both wanted to know, and didn't want to know, the answer.

"You don't have to do it soon. I've...gone without knowing the answer this long." If she was dead, well. What would Ed do, anyway?

Ed being comforting was unusual and rare, and Winry would savor it. She knew he wasn't very good at expressing his own emotions, or dealing with her when she became emotional.

"That's okay. I'll check with him and let you know."

He can understand that. Both wanting and not wanting to confirm something. Especially something like this, even if he's sure it must just be temporary before Hohenheim's countermeasure kicks in to work against Father's circle. He's not the best at generally knowing how to react when Winry gets emotional but he tries. Tries to focus on her and her needs for now.

"Thanks, Ed." Winry sighed softly. One way or another, she'd know, and she could put it behind her.

For now, though. She sat up. "I need to go start something for supper."

"Sure. Sounds good to me. Did you need a hand?"

Because for now they need time to think over this, time to contact and confirm with Mustang. Right now it is better to try not to dwell on it either way. They'll figure the answers soon enough.

Ed shifts, moving to stand with her if she agrees to the help but will otherwise shift Zoey and go back to reading for the time being while trying not to think on all this too much.

"You? In the kitchen? There'd never be enough food." Winry tried to sound like she usually did, tossing Ed a weak smile. She patted his shoulder. "Just keep Zoey from getting under my feet, that'll be enough."

"Okay, okay. Fine. I'll let you take care of it then. If you shut the door, I can keep her in here out the way while you're in the kitchen."

He resigns himself to doing something useful at least, keeping an eye on the dog while Winry makes dinner. There's a small smile, or at least an attempt at one as he gives a nod and half wave when Winry then goes to head out to the kitchen from his room.

Do you wanna know a secret?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject