closed. I have often dreamed of a far off place

[projectkr]

WHO: Conner and M'gann, maybe Garfield eventually
WHERE: Heropa House 17
WHEN: Backdated to Saturday morning
WHAT: Cleaning the cobwebs out of Conner's head.
WARNINGS: Thoughts of killing Superman

[He was and wasn't ready for this all at the same time. Sleep hadn't come easily for him until finally Conner just took up laying on the bed and counting the bumps of 'popcorn' on the ceiling. By the time the sky was starting to lighten, he'd reached 7,621. Then he'd gotten up, gone for a long run, come home to take a shower and picked up breakfast. The entire time Conner had tried to keep his mind off of what was about to happen in a few short hours.

It was true that M'gann was one of the only people - no, the only person, he trusted digging around his head. She knew more about him than most but he's had thoughts, images and dreams placed in his mind before he can even remember. Who knew what else was in there from the time before Robin, Aqualad and Kid Flash rescued him from his pod.

So it wasn't M'gann that he doubted. It was himself. What kind of horrors she might find in there. He already knew the kinds of things she'd see that he's thought about since becoming aware of the world. Yet, Conner couldn't hide them from her. She had to see if it was all part of Cadmus...of Luthor's programming. Conner needed to know because he wouldn't risk hurting them just to keep some secrets. They were more important than anything he had rattling around in his head. There was only one thing he wanted to protect and it had nothing to do with him.

Somewhere in the back of his mind was the image of M'gann's white form that she had accidentally shared with him back in Bialya. He didn't want to force her to tell him, had wanted her to share it with him when she was ready. It was the only thing he consciously put behind a locked door.

At about 7:30, he heads over to the house next door. The food is still warm in the bag because he was sure they wouldn't feel up to making anything - before or after. This way Garfield had a proper meal whenever he woke up. Rather than risk waking her roommates, he uses the telepathic link she always seems to have for them.]

M'gann?

Comments

[bioshift]

[ Oh there's no doubt that Garfield wouldn't appreciate the food when he finally roused. M'gann made sure to keep quiet at least, to let the boy sleep however long he liked. It was the Weekend, after all.

But she's been ...tense, perhaps, since the night prior. Tense and wondering and and not entirely nervous about the act itself, but over Conner's feelings on it. It wasn't the first time she'd delved into someone's mind, but it would be the first time she'd crawled so deep into the mind of a friend. Or ... a little more, in this case, even.

She's settled on her bed, sat upright and breathing deep. Waiting. ]

In my room. Probably least likely to be disturbed, here.

[projectkr]

[Knowing that she's awake, Conner just lets himself in. He doesn't know what room is hers exactly but he'll be able to hear two heartbeats behind a single door. So unless one of her roommates is having a 'sleepover', chances are he won't go wrong.

A minute later he's opening the door quietly figuring that Gar was already asleep. He holds up the bag made up of diner pancakes, sausage, bacon and eggs.]

I brought breakfast.

[bioshift]

[ She hadn't thought of that, but at the very least it wouldn't be hard to find. And with BB sleeping like a rock, there didn't seem any harm. It wasn't as if they'd be speaking aloud.

But she smiles for is arrival, and should he offer it out, she'll simply move it to the nearest table, levitated just far enough away so the boy's nose won't be tipped off. ]

That was nice of you...

How ... are you feeling?

[projectkr]

[He expects Garfield to wake up the instant the smell of food invades the room but the boy doesn't and Conner is grateful for it.

Now that the food is out of his hands, he doesn't know what to do with himself. So he stands there with his arms hanging limply at his sides.]

Nervous. I don't know what you're going to find in there.

[Conner wants to make it clear that he's not nervous about her being in his head.]

[bioshift]

[ Nah, the kid sleeps like a log on most days. And sleeping in on a weekend is a great pastime.

But she doesn't much like him standing there awkwardly, so with a hand outstretched, she moves to his side. ]

No need to be nervous. Whatever I do find ... I won't judge you for it. I couldn't. And any pre-programming-- I'll get rid of all of it.

Here, come sit with me.

[ She'll lead him to the end of the bed, urge him to sit fully on it with her, and maybe even keep her hand in his in the process. At least for the moment. ]

[projectkr]

[He goes with her easily, taking up a seat on the end with his legs crossed underneath him. Shoes are abandoned before they touch her bedspread though.]

That's not what I'm nervous about. I know you wouldn't.

It's just the very idea of possibly having something in my head that could hurt you - any of you - doesn't sit well with me.

[bioshift]

[ She takes both hands and wraps them around one of his, thumb stroking idly, comfortingly. Or she hopes it is. ]

That's why we're doing this. To make sure there isn't anything. I know- we all know you'd never do anything to hurt us on purpose. You'll be right as rain in no time.

[projectkr]

[It does help. Conner knows that M'gann and the others won't just kick him to the curb because of what's in his head or his past but can't fight that irrational fear immediately. The physical contact helps.

He takes a few calming breathes.]

I'm ready.

[bioshift]

[ They would never. But she does have to let go of his hands after a moment or so, and bring them to either side of his head. It's always so much easier to enter someone's mind through physical touch. ... And maybe it's because it's Conner, and it's important to have that physical connection, even just for her sake.

But she closes her eyes and lets her mind wander out, curling into his as gently as possible. She hasn't been this fully in his mind since Bialya, and even then that was just .. sorting out his memories. This was digging in, finding hidden parts of him that even he didn't know about.

At the very least, with a spectral form of both of them within his mind, interacting should still be just as easy. ]

I'll be honest ... I don't exactly have any idea where to start looking, but. Is there any part of your memory that you've had trouble remembering? Even subconsciously, you should be able to find something or somewhere like that while we're like this.

[projectkr]

[It's not really necessary for him to close his eyes but he does when she does. This is almost like Bialya - with the forms shaped like them except this is his mind instead of hers and for a much longer connection.

His mind takes the shape of Mount Justice hallways, at least at the most recent parts of his memory.]

Most of what I can't remember happened before I woe up. Wouldn't that also be where they put in any programming?

[bioshift]

[ She nods, already scanning the area, the makeup and design his mind has come up with. If his more recent memories were of Mount Justice... Then perhaps, though she couldn't be sure, his previous ones would resemble Cadmus? Or perhaps, even, with them completely unremembered, it would be blank.

So she offers him her hand, hovering on the spot. ]

We'll have to find the part of your memory that's blank. It ... It could resemble Cadmus if that's what your subconscious remembers it as, but I doubt you'll openly remember pre-programming as anything but ... nothing.

[projectkr]

[There would come a time when they resembled Cadmus but before that isn't blank. Not completely. But there is a sense of it not being real. Images put into his head by a certain genomorph.

He takes her hand. The feeling of weightlessness isn't unfamiliar even if they hadn't spent very long and he sort of guides her down the hallways.]

Before Robin and the others freed me from my pod, there aren't exactly memories - not ones that I fully remember. But one of the genomorphs that kept me under control did put images in my head. There might be something there.

[bioshift]

[ There were easier ways of finding whatever triggers lurked in his mind... But there were none that would kind on his mind. None that M'gann would ever want to use on Conner in a million years or more. Especially not after everything he'd already been through.

So they take the slow path, searching it out manually and letting him lead the way to wherever he could feel his memories hidden. Even if it was a subconscious sort of drive. ]

Even if it's just a big, blank spot... I'll find it. The mind tends to put hidden things within a locked case or some sort of blocked door for things like this... Maybe your mind will too.

[projectkr]

[He's quiet for a minute, thinking about what she said. Then he definitely starts taking her in a very specific direction.]

I think I know where we need to go.

[Their journey takes them to the backdoor of the mountain, but when they step through it's not outside - it's Cadmus. The stark hallways that suggest it's a medical or scientific lab don't really seem to have many doors.

At the end of the hallway are a pair of open elevator doors but there's no elevator waiting for them. So down they go, and when they emerge it definitely does not look like it's part of the same lab. Red walls look fleshy and alive and not really like walls at all but tunnels. They branch off the main hallway and at then end are a busted set of doors, signaling the moment when he broke free of his Cadmus' handlers and programming.

In they go and the room holds his pod - still intact but Conner doesn't look at any of that. Instead he turns towards the wall, which looks like the rest of the walls down here.]

This is where I found my half-brother, Match. They covered it up after they realized he wasn't stable.