it's a beautiful day in the world and you are a horrible lilty

[bestest_ladle]

WHO: Meeth Crym and YOU
WHERE: out and ABOUT, mainly Jeopardy, also Jeopardy 004 HELLO HOUSEMATES
WHEN: The back half of February
WHAT: Meeth coming to grips with being on a new, slightly different Earth.
WARNINGS:


Jeopardy 004
[The government-issued housing was clearly not designed for people of her stature, but that's not going to stop Meeth from taking over the kitchen. She has her urn, which doubles as a handy stepstool. And a stepstool. And those big plastic mixing bowls in the cabinets? Also, stepstools--for getting around on the counter.

Could she pop into her human form to get around this issue? Yeah. But she's not going to. What she is going to do is keep up a running commentary as she works.]

Ugh! The fruits and veggies are all the wrong shapies! [She angrily chops some carrots. There's a lot going on here; onions are simmering, there's vegetables, and a marinade, and a whole rack of spices that she's carefully sampling.] And all these different spicies--WHY CAN'T I BE IMPRISONED ON A WORLD WITH NORMAL FOODIE?

[grump grump chop chop]

Oh well. Good thing I've already learned to improvisie.

Jeopardy - Out & About

[The sun here in Nevada is brutal. It would be for anyone unprepared, because it's a desert. But when your "hair" is actually plant tissue, and it's plant tissue adapted for a temperate environment, you get additional problems.

She's rolling around the sidewalks on her urn, running errands, but she can feel her hair starting to crisp. Instead of giving her a pleasant source of between-meals energy, she's starting to feel sick and headachey.]

Urg... I knew this place was no goodie... [She hooks her ladle into the arm of the nearest passerby when her urn goes into a dangerous wobble.] Eek! Watch outtie!

Other Cities

[Technically, Meeth isn't allowed free access to porters unless she registers. Meeth is not going to register. But that doesn't mean she's going to let anyone dictate where she goes and when, so. Where there's a will, there's a way... out of Jeopardy and into any other city.]

Hm... much better than all that sun and sandie. [She's marching around the city, but regardless of which one it is, she's noticeably jumpy. Years of living in monster-filled ruins replaced by totalitarian metropolis don't do a lot for one's sense of security, but they're great at making a body paranoid as hell. So when she hears a too-loud footstep behind her, she spins around, brandishing her ladle.]

Thought you could be sneakie?! You better get up earlier to get one over on Meeth!

Comments

Jeopardy 004

[grabtharshammer]

[When Alexander steps into the kitchen and sees what's going on, he very nearly turns around and goes back out again, not wanting to get caught up in whatever disaster is likely to happen. In the end however, hunger wins out—not that he's hungry for whatever it is the tiny cook is whipping up.

Carefully avoiding any obstacles, he makes his way to the fridge and extracts a small package from the freezer, squinting at the instructions before popping it into the microwave for a scant few seconds, saying semi-politely:]

I'll be out of your way in a moment.

[bestest_ladle]

[Meeth registers the noise and is waiting for whichever housemate this is to get under her feet. She glances over--oh right, the lizard man. With one of those little boxes she's seen in the freezer. The ones which generally have an ingredient list that require an advanced degree to fully understand.]

Whoa, hold on a tickie! Are you going to eat that for lunchie?

[grabtharshammer]

That is my intention, yes.

[He doesn't think he'll ever stop wincing inwardly at the way she talks—think of it like an accent, he keeps telling himself.

This box in question only has one ingredient, which is bugs. Very large beetles of some type, who also appear to be alive, somehow. Insect cryogenics maybe? Who knows. He opens the box and holds one up.]

Would you like one?

[bestest_ladle]

[Meeth pulls a face when Alexander pulls out a wriggling bug.]

Ugh! You can't tell me you're just going to eat them raw out of the boxie!

There's so much more you could do with those creepy-crawlies!

[grabtharshammer]

I prefer them alive.

[And to prove his point, he'll pop the bug into his mouth, chewing and swallowing it quickly, because even though his reptilian physiology craves it, his mind is still screaming internally. this has been the hardest thing to get used to, even more than having a retractable penis.]

[bestest_ladle]

[Urgh. Meeth makes a face as he crunches it up. Reminds her too much of her first days trapped in the ruins of Rela Cyel. She turns away back to her own food, which is coming along nicely--you throw a lot of onions and white wine in a sauce and you can't go wrong--and shakes her head.]

That's just nasty. You sure you wouldn't prefer a nice beetle scampi? I could cook it up for you easy-peasy.

[grabtharshammer]

[He's a bit surprised by that offer, actually.]

You would do that?

[Not that he's necessarily asking her to.]

[bestest_ladle]

Absolutely! I used to have to eat that kind of stuff. It's much better when you can turn it into a proper meal and have it civilly.

Beetle scampi is easy. It's really the same as shrimpies.

[grabtharshammer]

Perhaps I'll get some freeze dried beetles for that, the live ones being expensive and it seems like a waste to kill them.

You used to eat bugs?

[bestest_ladle]

You're killing them anyway when you chew them uppie.

[there's some mushrooms going in the pan now, and she picks up a container of couscous to check the instructions. evidently she's just getting a bunch of Earth things to see how they cook.]

Bugsies, monsters, weird fungi--I couldn't be picky. It was make them edible or starve to deathie, and I couldn't let that happen to me.

[grabtharshammer]

Well yes, obviously. But that's not the point. If I'm going to spend the money for live bugs, I'm going to eat them alive. Anything that's going to be dead when I eat it can be dead when I buy it.

[a beat]

...Monsters?

[bestest_ladle]

Well when you want a meal that doesn't bite backie, just let me know.

[SHE'S OBVIOUSLY UNCONVINCED, but whatever, Alexander.]

Monsters. Creepies and clawies. [She looks out the window.] But they aren't really a problem on Earthie, are they? I didn't see them on the first one I went to or on this Earthie.

[grabtharshammer]

You'll be the first to know.

[Or not.]

Well... there are probably some good-sized wild predatory animals still, but not so much in the cities.

Other Cities: Nonah

[hordinglife]

[Lonnie had no intention of just following anyone, but she hadn't been paying much attention to the weird woman in front of her either. She's in a rush and wishes people would just move out of the way faster. So when a ladle gets brandished almost in her face she jumps back and she can feel the tingle in her fingers of her teleportation powers almost calling the ladle into her own hand out of self-defense.]

Whoa, back up I'm just trying to get around you, crazy girl.

[bestest_ladle]

[oh. okay. it's just a young lady. granted, a lot of the police on Other Earth were young ladies and young men, as were the temple guards back home, but this girl isn't one of them.]

Whoopsie! Didn't mean to give you a scary. But you shouldn't follow behind people so closely!

[hordinglife]

[Lonnie raises an eyebrow at her.]

Didn't you hear me say I was trying to get around you? There's only so much space on the sidewalk.

[bestest_ladle]

Just because the sidewalk's thin as a stickie doesn't mean you get to creep up like some kind of ghoulie! [She puts her hands on her hips; the fact that Lonnie is twice her height doesn't seem to bother her.] Didn't you ever learn to say excuse me?

[hordinglife]

Why would I? [Because obviously manners were not a thing taught in the Horde.]

Just because you're carrying a stick doesn't mean you can walk around like an old lady with a cane either.

[bestest_ladle]

So that people know that you're people and not some kind of monster they've gotta attackie! Obviously! [THE REAL REASON FOR MANNERS IN MEETH WORLD.]

And you just watch who you're calling old, missie! This isn't a stick! It's a tool of alchemy.

[hordinglife]

[She didn't call her old...]

Oh come on. If you think someone not saying "excuse me" makes them a monster, you don't spend much time around people.

[bestest_ladle]

I haven't, not for yearsies. [She summons her urn and hops up on it so that she's closer to eye level with this girl.] And when I stopped being there I wound up in a city where people acted like monsters anyway, so it was six on one hand, half-dozie on the other.

[did lonnie have any way of knowing this? nope.]

[hordinglife]

[Yearsies? Dozie? How old is this eternal child-person? Because no adult talks like that.]

Then how would you know what good manners are? Best kind of manners is getting out of the way when someone is coming by. Means you don't have to bother talking to each other.