do we get what we deserve?

[besainted]

WHO: Damian Saint Lorrant & Various
WHERE: Various
WHEN: After trooping home from the delights of CnC2020.
WHAT: A place to store some threads for Feb!
WARNINGS: There is definitely gonna be some character injury/blood/gore/whatever.

Comments

[goldtoxicity]

I told you not to!

[ fuck. jesus - fuck. one hand lifting to run through his blonde hair - slowly growing lighter. it leaves a little red in its wake. ]

You - that was such a dumbass move! [ and then, once he's managed to compose himself a little ] Yeah, it's back!

[besainted]

[ Oh, thank god. Damian nods, and surrenders the wrist for healing. He's all too glad to set the knife aside too, folding it back into itself one-handed with an ease so practiced it takes barely any thought.

He doesn't really have any excuses to make, for the same reason he couldn't really make any arguments for it. He'd simply decided to go through with it, and there wasn't much more to say on the matter. So he doesn't. He just closes his eyes and waits for the pain to fade. ]

[goldtoxicity]

[ he's angry. but more than that, its plain to see that he's scared. he grabs damian's wrist again to heal it, jaw set and eyes narrowed. the blue of them looks just a little paler.

its a moment before he speaks. ]

What the hell were you going to do if the wrong side of it came back first?

[besainted]

Keep going.

[ He says it like it's so obvious that it barely needs any emphasis at all, and shrugs faintly. ]

My parents have both managed to bleed out powers entirely without dying, and I doubt they had such a powerful healer around for it. I told you it would be fine.

[ It just ... took him a little while to get around to it. Even knowing it would be fine. ]

cw suicide reference

[goldtoxicity]

I wouldn't be fine with it!

[ he's sort of shouting. it's sort of loud. whoops. he isn't letting go of damian's wrist until there's not a mark left, then he's pulling back.

josh foley has a lot of hidden trauma buttons. some are easier to trip over than others. this one is - terribly specific, terribly connected to a shit ton of survivors guilt and anger. of being hauled out of bed to patch up classmates when something had gone wrong, either in a training session or their own mind.

how many people he hadn't been able to save. ]

Do you know how easy it is -- how, just, what if I left and David had to find you -- fuck, Damian!

[besainted]

[ He'd been a little out of it before now, too out of it to do much more than register Josh's surprise and upset as facts, but now the anger really sinks in. A crick appears in his brow. He pauses to turn on the bathtub's faucet, the better to wash away evidence of this unpleasant trick, before he shifts to face Josh. ]

Josh, I planned this carefully. [ His tone has finally gone grave, sensing that some solemnity is probably needed here. ] If you'd left, I would have opened a portal to you. There wasn't any significant danger.

[goldtoxicity]

[ 'no significant danger'. ]

You don't even realize what a gamble you just took, do you.

[ they're significantly reduced here, but it doesn't change how terrified he is of that happening again. damian - had damian used the dark side of them at all? he hopes for his sake he hadn't.

or maybe damian's just better at having them in general. maybe he should have held onto them.

life and death, one cup filling the other. and josh foley is caught in the undertow.

he takes a deep breath. ]

My powers can overwhelm me and I can - have totally lose control. Suddenly getting them back - that could have ended so, so so bad for you. For me. For everyone in this house.

[besainted]

[ Hm. Alright, he'll admit he didn't have all the facts about this situation, and maybe he'd left some margin for error unknowingly. But things had still turned out well, hadn't they? He considers his arm for a few seconds, fully healed and perfect, before rolling the shirt sleeve back down over it. ]

I trusted you to handle it. [ And frankly, even knowing this now, he'd still have gone ahead with it. Just, maybe he'd have communicated it all a little better. ] Look, you're the healer here. That power is best suited to you, you're the one who wields it like it should be. I wasn't doing anything with it but ... keeping it warm. Think of this as a greater good thing.

[ He didn't heal any single person outside of himself and David; it's left him wondering how many people Josh would have healed over these last few days, if he could have. ]

[goldtoxicity]

[ ugh. UGH.

there's no point yelling at him. what's done is done. he scratches the back of his head and shuts his eyes, letting out a frustrated breath. and in that breath he's one again gold and shiny. it spreads like ink through water across his skin. ]

Okay.

[ his hand drops. ]

Look, man, I care about you. [ remember that conversation way back when the world was ending? yeah. he's starting to realize just how often damian leaps before he looks. ] Just... don't be reckless.

[besainted]

[ He watches that spread of gold with some relief. Seeing Josh without it has been wrong in all sorts of ways, a stress he didn't really grasp the depth of until it vanished. His tensed shoulders lower ever so slightly. ]

I'm ... sorry. [ He lingers on the s a half a second too long, like it's a foreign sound in his mouth. He's not very practiced with honest apologies. ] It was ... this was something that Damian would never have done for anyone. So ... it was important to me to do it.