maskormenacelogs | dreams that make you go hmmm

Entry tags:

dreams that make you go hmmm

WHO: archie and lu, maybe others if u wanna tag in
WHERE: helix
WHEN: hmm.
WHAT: So You've Had A Shared Dystopian Nightmare
WARNINGS: probably discussion of violence and death

[firstly, a very important message to the network:]

what the fuck

[secondly, archie goes to helix. he doesn't really want to be at home after what he remembers and feeling so... off, so he goes to helix. probably the only other place he feels safe in.

then he orders about twenty pizzas. at least three are for himself.

finally, another message:] if you know what's up come to helix see last message for details

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah--! [oh, god. are rex and andy not back yet? archie crouches and holds his arms out, if martin wants a hug.

god knows the poor kid looks like he needs one.] I'm here. I'm sorry. They'll be back, okay? We're coming back slowly, but they'll come back.

[he wavers in place, hesitant, as if doing so was going to make something bad happen. but it's only for a moment, and then he leans forward and lets himself get embraced, his own arms a bit limp on Archie's shoulders.

they'll be back, he says. is that true? or is this like the desert city? wasn't that supposed to be over?

quietly mumbled:] I thought that...it was just a bad dream. I thought all of this stuff was supposed to be over.

[...]

But I woke up and...nobody was here. Nobody's been back. Their names aren't there, either.

[this is a throwback. what must've happened to the poor kid? archie doesn't know. he doesn't think he wants to know.]

Yeah, me too. [he gives martin a squeeze before he pulls back.] Have you eaten?

[he blinks slowly, then takes a moment to rub at his watery eyes and gulp against the lump stuck in his throat. he wouldn't have minded that hug for longer, but he won't protest aloud.

with a crack in his voice along the way:] I dunno. I'm not hungry.

[he watches for a moment, then takes martin's hand gently.]

You wanna get Fish Rex and Fish Andy and come with me? I'm stayin' at Helix. That big place nearer the centre of the city. It's safe, and there's any food you want there. I can get a room for you. Y'can stay safe until they're back, yeah?

What if they come back and I'm not here?

[as if Archie didn't just say "until they're back."

he swallows again.]

What if they--don't remember me? Or are...mad about what I--what happened. If it was real, then...

[then it wasn't good.]

You can come back. You don't need to stay. You don't even need to come with me, if you don't want to.

[...

he sighs a little.]

We'll just have to deal with that when we get to it, huh? I think Andy and Rex understand you enough to know that whatever happened, it wasn't... right. That whole thing was like a nightmare.

[and if they don't come back... if it's like Cassandra...

cold dread fills him like a fog, tinging thoughts and feelings with its temperature. it keeps the little flare of frustration from boiling over into proper anger at how unfair this all is.

dipping his head, he backs up, and he leaves the door open as he turns away to go find where the fish have gotten to, wordlessly returning and holding the bowl out to Archie.]

[yeah, he's not feeling great about it either. archie takes the bowl.]

Do you want to bring anything else with you? We can come back when I've got you set up in your room in Helix, if you'd rather.

No. It should stay the same.

[that way, should Andy or Rex return, they needn't fear everything being turned up on its head.

...that's a good reason, right? and not just him being too miserable to bother picking up his keyboard or his knitting.

he doesn't really worry too much on it while getting shoes on and grabbing his coat, holding his hands out to take the bowl again.]

I have to carry this anyway.

Okay.

[he'll wait until they're at helix and he's got martin some food (probably leftover pizza) before he tries to talk about this properly.]

It's a short bus ride, or we can get a cab. You good for the bus?

[his eyes are fixed on the water swirling in the bowl.]

I'm not good at reading the maps.

I know the way.

[he keeps his hand on martin's shoulder, leading him forward. at least there's hope for them to come back, he thinks. this isn't like being ported out. this is different. he keeps telling himself that for his friends, too.

unless the only way out really is dying or... working together, or something. then... maybe they'll be trapped there forever.

the thought makes him want to puke, so he tries to wave it off.]

Um... there's a holodeck room in Helix. I can let Mightyena and my other Pokémon out. I could load up some little puppy Mightyenas as well for you. They're called Poochyenas.

[in motion, Martin's gaze stays on the ground ahead of them, occasionally flickering down to the bowl lest he move too fast and slosh the water too much. idly, he realizes he should've brought their food. he should've brought his toothbrush. should've...

well, whatever. it matters to some degree, but not enough to stir the anxiety necessary to get him to speak up about it.]

Whatever's fine. [he's only partly listening; it matters more to just hear his familiar voice, never mind the content.

it's much the same getting onto the bus and taking the short ride away, where he barely catches a glimpse of the house before they roll off to parts of the city he doesn't know.

he feels vaguely nauseous, remembering how Andy had told him they would all take care of each other. why does anyone say things like that anymore? the second things are good...it goes away. it goes wrong. he becomes...something awful.

there's a bit of quiet horror in his expression as they disembark in front of Helix, his face pale and mouth taut, stuck remembering the nasty taste of the bile in his throat when he'd been something truly awful and worth killing. maybe that's why Andy pulled the trigger.

despite the guiding hand on his back, the sounds of Helix's sliding doors causes him to jolt, his head snapping up and eyes big as he actually takes into account the new surroundings.]

Wait--where are we?

[he tries to be mindful of martin as they travel, but he can only do so much. he knows this. archie leads the poor kid around when he needs to, steadies the bowl when he needs to. when they get to helix, he's glad to see martin snap back to reality, even if it's with alarm.]

This is Helix. We're about fifteen minutes away from your place. [the stuff he didn't pick up-- that doesn't matter. archie can get fish food and a toothbrush. this isn't permanent. he really doesn't want to think this is permanent.] It's just for a little while, so you're not in the house on your own, okay? I'm staying here, too. After the stuff I saw and did in that dream... I don't really want to be at home.

...There's a room for you down here.

...

[stuff he saw and did... then...Archie, too?

it actually hadn't occurred to Martin that that'd be the case -- he's been still so caught up in his own miseries to think about the possibility of it happening to others. up til now it'd been his nightmare, his mistakes, his loss, his missing family...

finally, some anxiety starts to creep back into his voice as he stands there, hugging the bowl to himself.]

I...I don't understand. What's happening...why...I thought it was...I mean, because I'm not supposed to be--be anything more than...[he gulps.] Ss-sorry. I don't. Understand anymore.

It's okay. I don't understand either. I told you it was over because I thought it was. This sort of thing shouldn't be happening anymore.

[and yet...

he sighs, directing martin down a hallway.]

Do you want to talk about what happened? It sounds like you had a rough time of things.

[the echoing of their shoes on the tile is strange to him, makes this place seem all the more intimidating. thank goodness for Archie's voice to help fight that echo from filling in his whole sense of sound and compounding the dread.

what happened? he still can't wrap his head around it.] I...I went to bed. And then...I was...not there. I was...sick.

[beyond sick, but somehow...he was aware of how he came to be that way. it didn't make sense, but that didn't change the truth of it.]

...Really sick.

I hurt people.

Martin...

[he pushes the door to the free room open; it's nothing special. desk, bed, small wardrobe. something for someone displaced to stay in temporarily, which is what this will be. temporary. andy and rex will come back.

archie takes the bowl from martin's arms gently, then crouches again to give him a BIG OL' HUG.]

You're back here now, okay? You're not sick.

[sick and gross and awful...he has to keep pressing his tongue to the backs of his teeth to make sure they're there and that they're not rotted out or jagged, and every gulp comes with the risk of the wretched taste of bloodied bile that made him the disgusting way he was.

Martin's chin rests on Archie's shoulder, still dismayed but at least feeling safer being held tightly than left alone and isolated.]

If I ever mess up...it'll happen. They always warned us about it. Back in Olvoski.

[he's quiet for a long few moments while he mulls this over-- stays crouched.]

Do you remember messing up? Or were you just like that when you showed up...?

[withdrawing from the hold, Martin looks away, his mouth a taut frown, not answering right away.]

It was like. It had been that way. For a while. I don't know. I don't remember. But I still knew why I was...the way I got. I had no, no way to...get rid of it. If you can't get it out, then you get a scourge. If it's a lot... [he brings a hand to his head, scrunching up some of his bangs in-between his fingers.] It was a lot. It's bad. I remember that, but...I don't remember...why. Sorry. I don't know. I don't know.

It's okay, it's-- [he hugs martin close again.] --okay. You're not sick anymore, if something happens here, you'll be helped, okay? Wherever we were before... no-one cared. About any of us, and our lives were changed for the worse. You're back here, now.

What'll help you get it out, just to be sure, huh? You need to fire your lances?

[he's a little tenser than the last hug, still stuck on the what-ifs and hows of what happened; what if he was already on that track?]

Conjure...every day. Ec-expel all the excess, like they said to. Those were the rules.

[he nods, as something that should've occurred to him months ago occurs to him now.]

Hey... there's a place in here where you can conjure all you want, and you don't have to worry about damaging anything. It's a room that's made to take people's powers like that. You wanna go in there and do some conjuring so you know it's not in ya?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject