Crazy gremlin wizard breaks

[yilingdaddy]

WHO: Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji
WHERE: Jeopardy #004 in Wangji's room
WHEN: After this text
WHAT: Wuxian goes a little crazy and Wangji comes to stop him/calm him down
WARNINGS: Canon warnings, aka probable mention of suicide, gore, death, and ghosties Property damage contained to one room.



Framed.

Faces swirl in front of Wei Ying's mind's eye. Dead faces. His face is wet with angry tears. Eyes rimmed-red. He doesn't notice how wisps of shadow lash out at the room around him. All he can see is the lines of text. From Jin Ling.

No denials from Meng Yao for the accusations leveled at his feet.

Shijie dead. Because of this man. Not because of Wei Wuxian. Not his fault?

A broken sob is torn from his chest.

Another item in the room, shattered.


...It's too much.

He lets out the scream that claws its way free. Of pain. Of grief.

Of soul-wrenching fury.

But the communication device lays untouched before him.

Comments

[secondjade]

He had been downstairs, just now returning from the kitchen with two bowls of rice and some vegetables in his hands. He heard the scream and it all slipped from his hands, clattering on the stairs. His sword was drawn when he burst in the door.

“Wei Ying!” He rushed over to the man’s side, a panic gripping his chest that only barely registered on his face.

“Wei Ying - focus!”

[yilingdaddy]

The shadows don't touch Wangji either, though the door slams shut behind him.

Tears continue to drip down Wuxian's face, twisted in agony. He doesn't seem to register Lan Zhan, not for a moment.

Not for a long moment.

But then he shudders, another sob wrenching from his chest and he folds inward, hands planting on the floor and squeezes his eyes shut.

Fingers dig into carpet and he struggles to reign it all back in.

The shadows writhe stubbornly, dancing around the room. Tugging at Wuxian's hair and clothes.

[secondjade]

His sword is abandoned, white jade glinting off the floor, untouched by the black smoke that swirls around it.

Lan Wangji has seen this before. It haunts his nightmares. Sixteen years, and this is the nightmare that has never faded.

His hands reach out, one to grip around Wuxian’s shoulders, the other to grip his wrist.

“Wei Ying,” he says, his voice rough and thick with emotion he so rarely utters.

“Come back.”


Do not go where I cannot follow.

[yilingdaddy]

Solid. Real.

Need made form.

Wuxian hears the call as if through water. Head twitching, turning slightly towards Wangji.

It takes effort. More effort than he thought he still had energy for. But after a moment, he manages to grab Wangji's wrist with his free hand, trembling from head to toe as he tries to hold on.

But gradually, the wind dies down. The shadows slink back to Wei Wuxian. Back into him.

The tears haven't stopped. His chest continues to heave with silent sobs.

...But he's still here.

Because Lan Zhan asked.

[secondjade]

The shadows withdraw and Wangji releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding, but he’s still tense. Still worried. Still heartbroken.

He doesn’t understand what could have happened. He was gone maybe twenty minutes, to cook for them. No one had entered the house.

“Wei Ying.” His voice is softer if no less concerned. “Wei Ying, what troubles you?”

[yilingdaddy]

Wuxian should have gone down with him. Normally he has been.

Mistake.

Protect!

...No.

His fingers twitch, tightening on Wangji's wrist before slowly releasing to scrabble blindly for his comm unit. Then shoves it at his friend before withdrawing quickly as if burned.

But he tries to push himself up a little, though his head still hangs, face miserably hidden.

[secondjade]

He frowns, confused, before he takes the device. This? Was this what caused the despair?

He looked down at the screen, and he saw the name of the sender, fist. Jin Ling

And then he read the message.

Then he scrolled back to read the rest.

There were several seconds while he processed the information, a righteous fury settling into his spine. The only reason it did not consume him was because of how worried he was, about Wei Wuxian.

"Wei Ying," he murmured quietly, giving no sign to the fury that he would unleash later. He placed his hand between the man's shoulder blades, leaning closer into him.

"... Hope, not torment," he murmured.

[yilingdaddy]

The removal of hands so Wangji can read is felt. Loss of warmth. But Wuxian forces himself to ignore it, to give the other man the time to read in peace.

Peace...that can't last any longer.

This knowledge...

'Hope,' he's told. That, and the hand returning to his back, finally help ease the silent sobs. He draws in a shaky breath, slowly sitting upright back on his heels. His hands fidget, fingers tugging restlessly at whatever they come in contact with.

"I-" his voice cracks and he coughs, one hand quickly moving to cover a second. He swallows heavily and tries to take a deeper, calmer breath. "It doesn't...matter. Lan Zhan. None of it." Voice quiet. Hoarse. Rough.

Listless.

None of his suffering. None of his pain.

None of his grief.

Useless.

[secondjade]

There were so many shards of his heart that he felt it would be impossible to glue them together again. But then, he'd never managed to in the first place. This was a continuation of the shattering that had happened 16 years ago.

He wants to comfort him. Of course he does. Desperately. But his words fail him and it's all he can do to keep his hands on Wei Ying, letting the man grip sightlessly at his sleeve a couple times before covering his face.

Several times, he tried to force words to part his lips. But they would not. Not even the silent indication of a sound. What could he possibly say?

Wei Ying needed comfort, and Lan Zhan was not the man to offer it. Wei Ying needed his family. His sister. Not the frozen visage of a man he'd questioned the intention of over and over and over again.

His lips thinned, just a little, and his hand moved a few inches down Wei Ying's back, warm palm pressing to his spine. This was the comfort he could give. He had no answers. He had nothing to offer.

All he could do was be there.

[yilingdaddy]

Wuxian knows Wangji has trouble showing affection. This...tolerance. Letting him cling to his sleeve, lean on him...everything. Means more than he will ever say.

Is Yanli missed?

Every day.

So much that it hurts. So much, that if he lets it, he will stop breathing from the pain of that one loss.

...But he'd also missed Lan Zhan. When they'd been parted.

And he's promised to stay.

Wuxian knows Wangji has trouble. And so, taking a chance...because he's unsteady even sitting down. Because the warmth his friend gives off even now is too tempting. Because he needs the support...

His breath shudders out and he gives in, slumping against Lan Zhan. Not unconscious this time, just desperate for something more concrete to hold onto. And Lan Zhan is all there is at this moment.

But also...Who is safer than Lan Zhan? He always feels better when Lan Wangji is at his side.

[secondjade]

He shifts his weight ever so slightly so that he can better take Wei Ying’s when the man slumped against him. He doesn’t complain. Of course he doesn’t. Given the option, he would stay close to Wei Ying all the time. Just because he can’t quite initiate himself doesn’t mean he won’t take it.

His heart is hammering so fast and so hard that he can feel the fluttering of his own pulse even in his fingertips. It’s dear, mostly. Fear of losing Wei Ying again. Fear of being incapable of stopping that spiral of self destruction.

But it’s also not his place.

He’d tried so desperately to save Wei Ying, the last time. Even against the other man’s will. All he’d done was push him away. So no matter how much he wished Wei Ying would let Wangji soothe him - play the guqin to rest and cleanse his soul - he didn’t offer. All he did was kneel there, supporting Wei Ying’s weight until the other man ever felt like moving.

Was it so wrong if Lan Zhan hoped that wasn’t for a little while?

[yilingdaddy]

It still hurts. Everywhere.

But he's not alone. His breath eases a little as he settles against his friend, letting his head rest on Lan Zhan's shoulder.

He doesn't want to move, though only partially because he'd probably just fall over and upset Lan Zhan all over again. Not something he's keen on doing, if he can avoid it.

Eventually though, he rubs at his face, fingers a little less twitchy than before. "Mm...Lan Zhan?" Anyone else wouldn't dare ask. But he is Wei Wuxian. He dares. Always.

"Would you sing...?"

Because he doesn't want to risk Wangji moving away, even to play his guqin for him.

[secondjade]

There’s a pause, a memory thrown back 16 years to a scene very similar. The black shadows had nearly overwhelmed Wei Ying then, too. He traces so much of his life back to that moment, even though in truth so much had happened long before. But that was where their lives were bound together and also where they started to fray.

He doesn’t want to see them fray again.

The request makes his heart clench, remembering when he last sang for Wei Ying. What he last sang for him.

Knowing that sixteen years later he’d hear the same song again...

“Mm,” he agreed quietly, before closing his eyes.

He sang quietly, almost under his breath, more of a hum than a song. A song he had written long ago.

[yilingdaddy]

Song half forgotten. Wei Ying's chuckle is more breath than sound. But a little less broken. Slightly less brittle.

A bright note in the dark.

Just like here. Now.

He doesn't ask if this is the only song Lan Zhan knows how to sing, no more than he had the last time this man sang for him. It doesn't matter, because it's a beautiful song. And Lan Zhan has a nice voice.

The tremors slowly ease, but he doesn't pull away. Face dried, if gritty-feeling. He doesn't pull away. Letting the peace of the song, the warmth of a loyal friend holding him up, soak in.

"Still don't...know...the name of that song," he murmurs even as sleep, or unconsciousness, takes him.

[secondjade]

His heart clenches, but he doesn't speak. He feels Wei Wuxian's body go slack against him, his breathing even out. Carefully, he adjusts his position, pulling Wei Ying up into his arms, and carrying him the few feet it takes to get to the bed. He lays him down gently, crossing the man's arms over each other.

He watches, still, for a moment, as Wei Ying sleeps. Then he reaches out to carefully brush a few stray hairs from his face, as he always does when he finds the man like this. Sneaking a tiny amount of physical affection where he can.

"...Wangxian," he answers, finally, knowing the other man can't here him. And then he moves to the window, standing in a stark silhouette against the sky, and he waits, humming quietly under his breath.