[ It turns out that recounting his week in there isn't the absolute best thing he could do for his mood, when he's supposed to be privately gloating about cheerfully chatting up the man who shot him a few weeks back. So he waves it off, but only to lean in with a suddenly hopeful look. ]

There is something I'd kill for, though — a shower. What would it take to convince you to give me a lift back to my apartment?

[ please help him, he is just a useless man who has never portaled anywhere under his own power, extremely helpless ]