maskormenacelogs | catch-all log for october-november event // open

Entry tags:

† oliver queen | the green arrow

catch-all log for october-november event // open

WHO: Jane Foster + EVERYONE
WHERE: All over the place
WHEN: October 20-November (whenever the event ends)
WHAT: The horrible event
WARNINGS: Mentions of anxiety, some harsh words, bad psychological stuff; will edit

A; WHISPERS IN YOUR EAR

Jane was getting really, really tired.

Not the bone weary, her eyes were starting to lose focus kind of tired, but the mental kind where she was two seconds away from smashing her coffee mug into a wall.

Her equations were not making sense. Her research was going nowhere. She couldn’t get close to any of the porters, no matter how hard she tried, and no one had any idea how they worked, even though the government clearly based them off of the first one.

And now? Now?

She had a shadow following her around, whispering every anxiety and fear and stress she ever had, ever thought, and all of the ones she did not dare to give voice to.

And when she had enough and started yelling back, fighting back, the shadow—

The shadow started to go after others.

B; WILDCARD FOR EVERYTHING ELSE

Got a shadow of your own? Got another plot you want to do? Want to drag Jane into something and really ruin her day? Week? The rest of this month?

I am a horrible person. Please enable me.

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Oliver was not sleeping at all. Why sleep when nightmares walked? And when others needed help, all the time.

Temporarily putting his business plans aside, Oliver was green Arrow most of the time right now. And he had begun consulting with magic users to see what he could do about these new menaces. This was not at all in his normal wheelhouse.

But he didn't stop fighting.

Ironically, the one thing he had been able to do was to accept his own shadow, and it had vanished into him when he did. He had already faced this terror, and he knew it well.

When he spotted someone else facing a shadow, he moved toward them.

"Doctor Foster, yes?"

Jane jumped when someone called out to her.

“Yes,” she replied. How long had she been yelling at her shadow, arguing with it?

Oh, the shadow hissed. Someone else to talk to. Someone else to get to know. I wonder what he fears. Maybe failure, like you?

Oliver leveled a look at the shadow. then firmly ignored it.

"Yours sounds like mine, a little. Are you okay? These things are a little annoying."

Oliver hated bullies. A lot.

Good, that is the best thing to do, though the shadow is undeterred.

"They really are. I have no idea how to get it to shut up."

You have no idea how to do a lot of things, the shadow sneered. You can't even figure out how this reality works to remake your portal machine. That is so pathetic.

"I figured out one way, but it's not easy. It lies in what the shadows are, not in how to defeat them."

He hesitates then nods.

"Your shadow? Are its words familiar?" He smiled at her, hoping to keep her attention, moving a little closer, trying to focus on her and keep her focus on him. If he could help her figure it out, then he could maybe repay the people who had helped him, in turn.

"What they are."

She frowns, mulling over that. That's a good question. What are these things besides shadows? Aspects of themselves?

She sends a glare at the shadow.

"Quiet you." Jane then turned back to him. "As much as I hate to admit it, yes. Its words are quite familiar."

Oh, now you've finally figured out how to add two and two.

"Where are they familiar from?" She had to beat this thing herself, but that didn't mean he couldn't help.

"You can beat it. But sometimes, victory looks like defeat."

Jane shuffles her feet, feeling uncomfortable.

Dots are starting to get connected in her head. She would like to beat this thing, be rid of it, and she is appreciative of the help, but ...

"I hate psychology," she muttered. "No offense if you're a psychologist."

The shadow started to laugh, high and scratchy, worse than nails on a chalkboard. Defeat me? Ha! She hasn't been able to do it since she was a teenager! Why now? Her pathetic ego is too big to even ask for help!

"I'm not, Doctor Foster. Not at all. I've just faced this sort of thing, here and elsewhere." Oliver nodded.

"Shadows are just reflections of ourselves, of the flaws we have that catch the light. And these shadows are no different. The only way to defeat them is to accept them."

Part of her inwardly groaned. It … it was a little cliché. Even for someone who accidentally woke up an ancient power and nearly destroyed the universe and battled aliens in London. There were likely a hundred tropes revolving around this bit.

Her shadow started laughing uncontrollably.

“What would happen if I don’t want to accept it?” she asked. “It’s … it’s all of my anxieties and insecurities. I don’t want to think those things. They don’t help.”

I don't know. But do you really want to leave it out here to torment others? Just because we accept our flaws doesn't make them all that we are. But without them, we are not whole."

Oliver sighed. he sounded like a damn Hallmark card. With a growl, he pulled an arrow and fired it at the shadow jane, where it lit up for a moment, bright and strong.

Yeah, he did sound a bit like a Hallmark card.

She was about to say something when he shot the arrow and the shadow lit up.

"W-What was that?" she asked.

"A sunburst arrow. a whole lot of uv radiation delivered in one small package, close dose." he grins at her.

"No danger even to us, this far away. But I bet a shadow is not fond of it."

His smirk is not at all nice.

The shadow was hissing and cursing, writhing in on itself, but notably weakened.

"Wow, no kidding."

His smirk doesn't phase her. If only she could attack her own shadow like that, even metaphorically. But now that the shadow is quiet, focused on itself, she is analyzing it a bit more.

"These shadows are manifestations of ourselves, aren't they?"

It's a question that does not really need to be asked. She just wants a nail in the coffin.

"Yes. Something out there reached in and pulled out our negative sides. But its all us."

He eyes her shadow, reminded of his own battle, hours before. It had not been fun. He was hoping he was done with it, and that it didn't happen again.

"Negative."

Well, they certainly got a negative part of her.

But if she wanted to be rid of this thing ...

"I wish it would go away. It would be nice if I didn't doubt myself so much. I mean, I have a pretty decent track record, all things considered."

The shadow had composed itself a little. You will ... never ... and just wait ... Pointing out everyone else's insecurities is so much fun.

"Those doubts are a part of you. I know how it is to feel those, and its okay to feel them. It just makes us more human. I used to think it made me weak, but it doesn't. It makes us stronger, as we overcome them."

Oliver nods, speaking quietly but earnestly.

She nods and silently regards the shadow for a long moment.

The shadow twitches and fidgets.

What are you doing now? it asked, voice oozing. Trying to run some numbers? Want a calculator? Because I am—

"I have an IQ of 137! I can do calculus in my head without errors and have come this close to figuring out faster than light technology in our home world! And if you compare my work to other civilizations, I progressed a thousand years ahead of them! On a budget!"

That was one way to defeat doubt.

Oliver grins. "Now that's a lot of accomplishment. Nicely done." His smile is approving and impressed.

She sounds like a very smart person, way past him, really, the kind of person who could make Felicity and Caitlin jealous. He finds himself sure she will defeat this.

"Thank you."

What about what you haven't figured out? What about your mistakes with the Aether? For all of your intelligence, you make the worst mistakes that have far-reaching consequences!

Jane glares hard at that. She is quite intelligent, but she will admit there are many areas of life she lacks in.

"It's a good thing we have whiteboards. You think I'm going to let something like a mistake stop me when I've come this far?"

"We all make mistakes. Accepting them, and moving on, and learning from them, now that is harder." Oliver grins. "I was an idiot, for a lot of my younger life."

He hates talking about himself, and yet, he keeps ending up opening up to people here.

What a world they are in. Jane is finding the same thing happening to herself too.

"I think we all were kind of dumb, in our younger years."

The shadow makes a dismissive noise and opens its mouth to speak, but Jane points dramatically.

"No! Quiet! You spout nothing but manipulative, negative thoughts that don't do anything for me!"

Oliver grins at her. "Maybe in this world, well, maybe we will have a chance for a new start."

She is fierce and a little inspiring. Or a lot.

"Maybe," she agreed, smiling back. "Can't hurt to try, right?"

The shadow, for once, has nothing to say. Jane hasn't quite defeated it yet, but it looks like she is getting on the right track.

"You said your shadow was like this, a little?"

"Yes. Abusive, belittling, and carrying all my worst qualities in it. And I found a way to defeat it, but it was not easy."

He would not have thought of it, were it not for the memory of his wife.

"Accept it?" she guessed, looking back at her own shadow.

God, that would not be easy in the least.

Oliver nodded, smiling at her words.

"Our flaws are part of us. And while we are not proud of them, and they do not help us become better, they are not something separate. The only way to work through a flaw outside of this magic is to accept it exists and work on it, right? Well, the same is true here. You can do this. Its not easy, but you can do it."

He spoke earnestly, sure of it.

Beck, eat your heart out. Oliver is blowing your speeches out of the water. The words are still a little corny to her, but she understands that there aren't really too many ways to say that.

She looks at her shadow, mentally preparing herself.

"You suck," she declared. "You really, really suck, but we can't help what we're conditioned to think because of others or because we naturally compare ourselves to others or feel that we're not enough for some stupid reason. It just is. But I would rather have this and want to improve myself than to think I'm better than I am."

Oliver nodded, listening to her. He had faith in her, and he knew she could do this. She was a stranger, mostly, but he could see a strength in her, a fierceness, and he felt like she had a chance to accomplish this.

He stepped to her side, offering her his support as she did it.

She smiled, glad for the silent support. It was another piece of proof that her insecurities were just that—insecurities.

But given that he defeated his own shadow, he likely had a lot of the same qualities.

“So, instead of going around and bothering other people, how about you get back inside my head, where you belong, so I can actually work on you. Because only I can do that.”

The shadow trembled. It visibly shook.

No, it hissed. No, no—

And then it disappeared.

"Well done, Doctor Foster. Well done indeed." Oliver's voice was gentle, and warm.

She'd done it, as he was sure she could, and he was glad.

Jane nods, not quite believing it's gone.

There is nothing in front of her, and instead, a heavy weight in her chest she knows she will have to keep working at.

"Thanks. And ... I don't think I ever got your name."

"You're welcome. You did most of the work, but you are welcome." He knows how hard it can be to face one's own sins and darknesses.

"I'm Oliver, Oliver Queen, to be exact."

he offers her his hand.

It really can be; she keeps facing it again and again in different forms.

She takes his hand and gives him a proper handshake.

"Nice to meet you, Oliver. Wanna get out of here and keep away from any more shadows?"

"Absolutely." he taps his wrist, binging up a keyboard, and doing a quick search, then nods.

"There's a good coffee shop a few streets down. Might be a nice place to just rest and not worry for a little while."

"I don't think I've been to that one yet. But that sounds like a great idea. My treat."

Coffee was always a good idea, especially after something like this.

Oliver smiles. "Alright." And he starts off with her, heading toward the shop, and glancing at her.

"Some days, coffee is the best medicine."

She gives a chuckle. "You won't hear me argue about that."

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catch-all log for october-november event // open

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Fade this one soon?

sounds good :)