OPEN LOG

[burlyboy]

WHO: Magnus Burnsides and YOU
WHERE: The forests and lakes in each Porter City.
WHEN: Throughout July!
WHAT: Magnus decides to try his hand at hunting down the cryptids to get them safely to the government in an effort to save his life! In the process, he gets mistaken for a cryptid himself, has a run-in with a few poachers, and might just be able to find a cryptid himself.
WARNINGS: Likely violence; nothing serious anticipated!



[ i. stomping through the forests. ]

[ As soon as Magnus heard the call for helping some of the spooky critters that have been recently sighted, he immediately knew that he wanted to help. As such, he's taken to the wilds of every Porter city, hoping to run into something. A great deal of his motivations are selfless - he does genuinely want to help them - but a greater part of his motivation is simple: they sound dope as hell, he's bored shitless of the limited fauna of this world and he really, really wants to see one. Maybe even touch it. Maybe even befriend one. The possibilities are endless!

Either way, he makes for quite a sight, this giant of a man stomping through the forest with an axe and an incredibly heavy looking bag strapped to his back, a large net folded up and clipped to his belt, whistling merrily as he goes along. ]

Heeeeere, crypt-y, crypt-y, crypt-y, crypt-y! Heeeeeere, little critters! I'm not gonna hurt you, promise!

[ ii. being mistaken for a cryptid. ]

[ All of a sudden, Magnus hears gunfire and jumps. ] What the hell? [ He whirls around, looking wildly for whoever's shooting at something through the thick foliage of the trees and bushes blocking his view. He doesn't see anyone, but maybe that's what camo is for out of the city. He fastens his grip on his axe. ]

Right there! The Yeti! Get him!

There's a Yeti?!

[ Magnus looks around for the Yeti this time, and another shot just barely misses him.

Oh, shit. They mean him. ]

[ iii. hit by a tranq. ]

[ Fortunately for Magnus, not all cryptid hunters are so eager to simply kill the creatures that have cropped up. Unfortunately for Magnus, sometimes his passive perception isn't so great, and they don't actually miss. A dart makes its way straight into his neck and he slaps his hand over it. ] Huh?

[ A lot of tranquilizer darts meant for humans won't faze him as much as they ought to. This, though, is a tranquilizer dart meant for a beast, and he starts feeling it almost immediately, swaying and nearly running right into a tree. Oh, boy. He's starting to feel a little woozy. He leans against it, trying to get his bearings, only just vaguely hearing a voice say in the distance, "goddammit Todd, you hit a person! We gotta get out of here!"

Normally, he'd run after them. Right now? He's got more important things on his mind. ]

[ iv. cryptids! ]

[ Of course, he manages to find cryptids eventually. You'll probably see and hear him before you do the cryptids with a quiet, awed cry of, ] Oh, would you look at that. She's beautiful!

[ What's he looking at? Well, that's up to you. You've got a choice between:

a: A BATSQUATCH, a towering bipedal creature with yellow eyes, a wolf-like muzzle, dark fur, sharp teeth, bird feet and massive black bat wings with a truly intimidating spread.
b: A SEA-APE, a large creature with the head of a dog and the body of a shark, all covered in thick, wiry hair.
c: the WAHEELA. Listen, this one's just a big fucking wolf. They can't all be horrifing hybrids. ]

Comments

[ ii. being mistaken for a cryptid. ]

[am_i_a_monster]

[Abigail's stalking through the woods carefully.  She's heard rumors of a wendigo in the area.  Given her past, such a creature is both fascinating and terrifying, like an animal version of her father or Hannibal.   She feels like she needs to see the creature, maybe even help it if she can.

She's dressed for hunting with a rifle strapped to her back; it's what makes her feel safest in the forest.   When she hears the shot and hears the voices, she instantly raises her binoculars to her eyes, looking ahead.   The sight makes her instantly angry.  Irresponsible hunters were a danger to everyone.]

Hey idiots!   He's not a yeti! 

[She yells out, puts her binoculars away and takes careful steps towards them.]

Identify your target before taking a shot! 

[burlyboy]

[ The two of them immediately begin to sneer at Abigail. A little girl with a gun. There's nothing that angers men like them quite as much as someone smaller and more female than them geared to do the exact same thing as them. ]

Why don't you run back home and let the real hunters take charge, little girl? [ One says, lifting his rifle to take another shot.

Which is when Magnus comes bursting through the thicket, large and hairy and very much not a yeti by the fact that he's running in, fist wound up to smack him one with a roar of, ] I'm not a fucking yeti! And you almost shot me, you asshole!

[am_i_a_monster]

[Abigail rolls her eyes and scoffs.]

I'm the only real hunter here. 

[She glares at the hunter when he raises his rifle.] 

What the hell?  You don't even know what you're aiming at!

She's not sure if he's heard her over the gunshot.  The stupidity and impulsiveness of the hunters is even more infuriating.  She's about to start a tirade on hunting safety when Magnus appears and confirms what she had been saying.]

I told you so!

[Abigail snaps at the hunters, then looks at the not-yeti]

I'm not with those imbeciles!  

[burlyboy]

Good, because that frees me up to do this!

[ Magnus punches one of the hunters in the face. And yes, they do have guns, and yes, they're bold, and yes, they're not particularly good people - but they're not so bold that they'll stick around when this mountain of a man is here, an axe gleaming by his side and anger blazing in his eyes. ]

Get outta here before I whup your ass! And don't come back! Unless you want a fight. It's up to you, boys. I'm good for a fight if you are.

[ They bolt. ]

[am_i_a_monster]

[Abigail instantly raises her rifle, expecting the fight to end badly.   Based on her past, she's already picturing severed body parts and gunshot wounds.   When the hunters leave, she straps the rifle on her back again and takes out her knives.   She throws her knifes with accuracy, thanks to her knife powers.  The knives land in the hunter's clothes, just missing injuring them.]

Leave your firearms and keep going.

[Abigail speaks loudly and clearly, making sure she's heard by the hunters.  She then returns to a normal speaking volume.]

They're dangerous. We can't let their stupidity hurt someone.

i

[prayercycles]

[ Why did he ever agree to this.

Look, Fortunato isn't much for hiking, especially when he needs to bring a cane with him. He's gone with Magnus anyway because, well, Magnus is Magnus, and though he suspects the man can take care of himself, he worries anyway. Particularly in this case. Aren't these dangerous creatures? It's not as if Fortunato can do much against them himself, but, well- he'd rather be there and perhaps tempt Magnus away from, Lord forbid, being gored. So he's gotten in his best and perhaps only good outfit for going through the woods- khakis and a light jacket- and he's followed Magnus in here.

That said, despite his lack of knowledge, he is fairly certain this is not how one attracts cryptids. ]

Magnus? What do you...want with them?

Re: i

[burlyboy]

What do I want? What I want is to pet one! And keep it as a pet! You're from a world like this one, so you don't know all the shit that could be out there. The kinda wildlife we got back home? They sound a lot more like these guys! And they're so cute!

[ Magnus sighs longingly, clearing a path ahead of them. That's the dream. A house full of wild critters, all domesticated and happy to chill out with him. Maybe get a cuddle or two. If only. ]

...but what I'm gonna do is catch 'em and send 'em to the government so they don't, uh. Die. Little more important than having a really cool pet.

[ You can breathe again, Fortunato. ]

[prayercycles]

[ Oh thank God. Magnus is right that Fortunato, internally, breathes a sigh of relief. But that doesn't mitigate most of his anxiety. Magnus is still going out to find creatures he's known Aegis has had to fight in some cases...

Maybe someday Fortunato should invest in more than a knife. He steps carefully over some tall roots as he speaks. ]

Then- how are we going to catch them?

[burlyboy]

I've got Animal Handling. [ Magnus always says these things like they mean something. ] Best case scenario? I got lots of treatsies, and I can lure 'em out to where they need to be. I called the folks in charge of this whole, uh, program, and they're nearby so they can jet on over once I call 'em. Worst case scenario...

[ Magnus shrugs. ] I got a net. Rough 'em up enough to take it out of commission, bundle it up, and lug it back there ourselves. That's how this sort of mission usually goes. This isn't so different from what I used to do, back home. You see some weird shit as a hired sword. [ A beat. ] A hired axe.

[prayercycles]

[ Well, he's got no idea what Magnus means by "having" Animal Handling. And, frankly, he still thinks this is a good bit ill-advised. Magnus may be hard to hurt, but when Fortunato's aware that groups like Aegis Force take these creatures down in groups...

He doesn't much like to make his displeasure evident, but he can't help but think this is going to go badly somehow. ]

If you are sure. [ Then again, Magnus always seems certain of things. Still, Fortunato's tone isn't enthusiastic. ]

[ i. stomping through the forests. ]

[by_candlelight]

[ When the local animals said there was something big going through the forest, she didn't expect it to be a human. And while he seemed a bit familiar somehow, she didn't know if that was the good familiar or the bad familiar. So, naturally, this meant stalking him through the woods. Using a mixture of her own skills with the skills Finn (dragonborn) had taught her, she kept as quiet as she could as she trailed him.

Eventually though, well. She got bored, and hearing him shouting made it pretty clear he didn't care if someone noticed him. If it turned out that this was a bad familiar sort of person she'd be able to run through the forest a lot faster than he could, so the chance of danger was fairly low.

In short, this bored-ass teen eventually pops from behind a tree not too close but not too far behind him, and speaks. ]

Uh. Hey. If you're trying to find any sort of wild animal, it's probably not the best to shout and scare it.

[ Okay, maybe she wasn't completely away from the tree, and might have been about a fourth behind it... ]

[burlyboy]

[ Magnus turns around once he hears a voice, offering Ruby a crooked smile. If he's put out at all by the sudden company - or sudden criticism - he certainly doesn't show it. ]

Apparently the type of animal I'm looking for isn't the sort that gets scared very easy. Actually, it sounds like it's not such a bad thing to scare the other animals away.

[ He sets one hand on his belt, surveying the girl in front of him. ]

Speaking of which, what're you doing here? Sounds to me like there's better forests to go camping in.

[by_candlelight]

Well, you were scaring all the animals away, and I wanted to see what the cause was. I thought at first it might have been some other big animal. [ she shrugs a little. ]

I come out here all the time.

[ As for Ruby, well. She was quite small, but could easily be fourteen, maybe a little older despite that. Her clothes had seen a lot of wear and tear, but were suitable for dicking around in a forest, though probably better for doing so in the fall instead of a sweltering summer. She also had a backpack on that had been patched up more times than strictly required, and just looking at it made it clear it was heavy, but Ruby didn't seem bothered by it.

One notable thing was that she was in a stance that would quickly allow her to turn tail and run. ]

[burlyboy]

[ Ruby's attire isn't noticeable to Magnus. It's unusual for a teen around here, perhaps, but the world Magnus is from is a little more unkind than this one. He'd been out and about by the time he was a teenager; he doesn't see why others wouldn't, or why anyone would be cautious. Magnus isn't cautious, but Magnus is also about the size of a truck. It's probably smarter to be cautious than not.

He plants his hands on his hips. ]

If I scare the regular ones away, all the better. This forest's normally pretty safe, but I dunno if it's such a good idea for you to hang out around here now, kid. They say they've sighted a few monsters in the area, and they're big ones.

[ He actually sounds pretty excited about that. ]

[by_candlelight]

I know. Listen, unless you're an imPort you probably shouldn't be hunting any of these animals. [ She gives a sigh. ] A lot of them are probably in pain, and they might lash out at whoever finds them. If you are an imPort I'd still suggest caution, and looking for tracks instead of calling out to them.

If you need help with tracking, well. I can help in that regard, but only if you're an imPort, and only if you stop scaring all the other animals away. [ She looks a little exasperate. ] If I'm helping, they'll be able to communicate any odd sightings to me.

i.

[fursleuth]

[A WILD PIKACHU APPEARS.

Or at least one that is rapidly being reminded that he has no luck with forests and needs to stop coming back here. At the moment, he's shaking out his hat which has accumulated a number of chiggers.

His ears perk at the sound of someone calling for cryptids and he pauses mid-hat shake to turn just as... THIS GUY appears.]

How's that approach been working out for you, chief?

[burlyboy]

Oh shit!

[ That's a happy oh shit, though, because that is... the cutest little stinker he's ever seen. Magnus plants his hands on his hips, looking down at Pikachu with great interest. God, he's cute. Magnus would take five. He'd take twenty. Just look at him. That little twitchy nose, the big eyes, the ears, those darling little red spots?

This is exactly the kind of wildlife this world's missing. Only he doesn't seem to be wildlife at all. ]

Well, you're here now, aren't you? [ A beat. ]

...you're not one of them cryptids, are you.

[fursleuth]

So my ability to carry on a conversation tells me. [Pikachu continues to pick out individual little sticker bugs and flick them away.] You seem way, way too giddy to be one of those whackjobs hunting them. Fellow imPort? Or just a nature enthusiast who ain't too bright? You can't really tell the difference until someone starts talking about other worlds or shooting lasers from their face.

[burlyboy]

I'm a two-for-one! An imPort and a nature enthusiast! I'd rather get ahold of one of those critters before the hunters do. The government says they gotta stick 'em with the same stuff they stick us with to keep them alive. You know what they say, variety's the spice of life.

[ Magnus crouches down to try to meet Pikachu eye-to-eye, though the effect is a giraffe folding its legs underneath it in order to converse with a shrew. An effort has been made, but it's largely negligible. ]

Hail and well met, little fella! The name's Magnus Burnsides. Annnnnnd your name is?

[fursleuth]

Oh, you're adorable. [Yes, please be condescending to someone so much larger than you. You're not a giant Canadian man today, Ryan Reynoldschu. That being said, Pikachu thrusts out a tiny furry hand to offer a handshake.]

Pikachu. We're kinda after the same thing. I mean I'd like to get my hands on some of those nanites and let the cryptids wander off into the wild to do as they please, but that's just me and my tooootally justified distrust of the government. You know, they say you just never recover from your first conspiracy.

I

[heliophilic]

[This really isn't M's thing. However, after everything Magnus has done for him the past few months, Magnus could have asked him to come to an imaginary tea party, and he'd be there. He walks a few steps behind Magnus, dressed like he's going for an actual hike and not one with fantastic beasts at the end of the journey. For a moment he considered his work clothes, but this wasn't exactly a work event, was it?]

Is that how you catch other animals, Mags?

[burlyboy]

It's how I try to catch the ones that'll immediately try to kill me! Fastest point between A and B is just to get the suckers to come to you instead of you havin' to track them down. Stealth's all well and good, but it'll all be the same once we find one of these critters.

[ Magnus' logic may only make sense to him, but there is some method to his madness. He places one hand on his hip, grinning over at M. ]

I hear they're magic! D'you know how long it's been since I've seen magic outside of Ango, like, magic-ing my nails?

[ His nails are painted a lot more neatly than his usual today, so at least that explains that. ]

[heliophilic]

Magnus I love you but I'm never teaming up with you to hunt someone.

[Because that's not how it works. That's not how any of it works.

At least not to M's logical mind.]

They do look very nice, though I can't help but believe that's a waste of Angus' abilities.

[burlyboy]

Hunting people's different from hunting animals! And I'm much better at hunting animals than people.

[ More's the pity. He'd been trying to hunt a particular person for years before he got here. That's all right. He's going to go back home one day, save the world, then hunt down that fucker's ass and execute him. Figuring out how has been one of those happy little thoughts to keep him warm on cold nights. ]

And I take exception to that! Making my nails look super cool is exactly what he should be using his abilities for. It's just a cantrip. I think.

[heliophilic]

I'm pretty sure that's not how you hunt animals either.

[Then again, the one time he's really done it was with David and those were abominations created by idiots.]

Isn't that the stuff that gets cats high?