[CLOSED] Rooftop Sulking

[plentystrong]

WHO: Adora, Catra
WHERE: Some rooftop in Jeopardy
WHEN: Early June, after this
WHAT: emotional fallout of Catra almost getting squished to death
WARNINGS: ANGST??, Catra


[ Catra leaves Knock Out's hangar without bothering to look back and check for Adora. She's kind of the last person Catra wants to see right now. The reality of what just happened is hitting her with full force, eliciting all kinds of uncomfortable feelings.

So Catra does what she always does when she's feeling vulnerable: she seeks out higher ground. She hops up along some buildings to ultimately climb on one of the higher rooftops in Jeopardy, where she pulls up her knees and stares out over the city. ]

Comments

[swordsense]

[Adora gives Catra a lot of time. She keeps tabs on her, but gives her at least an hour before she goes to her. When she approaches, it's quietly, dropping from her horse and patting the animal's nose before walking over to stand nearby. Not close enough to touch, not yet. Just outside arm's reach.

It reminded her of when they were young, sneaking up onto the roof, though Jeopardy is a far cry from the Fright Zone. When Shadow Weaver had been particularly violent, and when they'd both been scared out of their minds.

Adora wasn't really frightened of the concept of death so much as she was of the concept of a world without Catra. But how do you convey that...?

Starting simple, of course.]

...That guy was a real jerk.

[plentystrong]

[ So a strange thing about having lived with the threat of death hanging over her since she was small is that at some point, it stopped feeling real. It never actually happened, it was always just Shadow Weaver's same old scare tactics, so Catra's thought herself as kind of invincible.

Until now, when she did, in fact, almost die. She's feeling rattled, and she spends the hour on the roof hugging herself tight, determined not to think about it. If she thinks about it too much, she'll freak out.

Then Adora arrives. Catra doesn't turn around, the only thing giving away that she notices Adora being the gentle twitching of her ears. Otherwise, she doesn't move, instead waiting for Adora to say something.

When she does, it's not exactly what Catra expected. She doesn't quite know what to do with it, so she shrugs. ]

Yeah, kinda stating the obvious there.

[swordsense]

[Adora's quiet for several more moments. She doesn't really know what to even say to that. The events of the last day are quite a lot, and she's content to let silence hold for a while, too.]

...You got him pretty good.

[she'd seen those scratches.]

And I'm happy you're okay.

[plentystrong]

[ Catra honestly doesn't know what's worse: Adora's words or her prolonged silence before. Everything about this is uncomfortable.

And yet, there's one thing Catra can't quite help but ask. ]

So... you'd care if I died?

[ Which, really, should be obvious. It's something Catra's used against Adora before. And yet, there's a part of her that doesn't really know, and desperately wants to. ]

[swordsense]

Yes.

[Adora's answer comes without any hesitation. She cares, a lot.]

...and I'd have torn that guy apart if he'd done it.

[Enough to pick a fight with a giant robot and tear it limb from limb.]

[plentystrong]

[ For the first time during this conversation, Catra looks at Adora; and it's with wide, surprised eyes. ]

You'd have killed a guy for me? Wouldn't that go against your moral code or whatever?

[swordsense]

I didn't say I'd kill him. I'd make him wish he was dead.

[Which may arguably be worse.

Adora closes her eyes, setting her hands on the railing at the edge of the rooftop.]

I'd rather not kill anyone, but sometimes, cruel people like that? That may be the only way. He certainly seemed like the type to only listen to force.

[plentystrong]

[ Catra sighs deeply and leans back, supporting herself on her hands. ]

Man, being a hero sounds exhausting.

[swordsense]

Maybe. But...I'm not going to let someone get away with killing you.

[Not at all.]

[plentystrong]

[ Catra just sighs. ]

Gee, that's so thoughtful of you. Not that it'll matter to me 'cause I'll be dead.

Except we don't even die permanently here, unless we get involved in some kind of OTO stuff, so it matters even less.

[ Yeah, that whole experience made her extra grumpy. ]

[swordsense]

[That. Is. Kind of a point where Adora's had enough. This cavalier attitude, this dismissive behavior. It's exactly the thing that she hates most about her old friend. Emotion bubbles up, real anger, mostly at the situation but a lot of it directed at the cat in front of her. Nobody is more important, but nobody is more frustrating, either.

She spins, grabbing Catra by the shirt, shaking her hard and staring right in her face.]

Catra, I'm so SICK of this from you! This whole 'I don't care, blah blah sarcasm' attitude from you...

You almost died! Don't you get that?! I know you're apathetic about everything, and I know you'd come back, but I don't care. Because you'd be dead and I'd be stuck in a world without you! Even if it was for a day, that'd be too long. So cut the attitude and just...don't be so cavalier about it.

[plentystrong]

[ Well. Catra did not expect that. And Adora's anger is contagious, fanning the flames of Catra's own frustrations that have been quietly simmering for so long. Tears form at the corners of her eyes as she grabs Adora's hands and forces them off her, putting just the slightest bit of distance between them. ]

So I'm supposed to care every single time someone threatens to kill me? Adora, don't you remember what we saw in the ruins? Shadow Weaver made it clear that she'd be happy to dispose of me when I was little. And it's not like that was the last time.

If I cared every time that happened... what the hell am I supposed to do about it then?

[swordsense]

Yes! You should care. Because you only get one life...

[Catra starting to tear up is not at all what Adora expected, and she's momentarily stunned. She can't remember the last time she saw that. Certainly well before either of them hit puberty, at least.]

...and how could I forget? I've never...I've never wanted to hurt someone so bad as when I saw that, Catra. [That's the gospel truth, there.]

You...you need to remember that Shadow Weaver can't hurt you anymore. She can't hurt either of us. She's done, and you...you're better than her. I know she hurt you, and I know she scared you. She did that to both of us. I'm sorry, Catra.

[She looks away, her voice cracking a little. There's so much that she feels like she needs to say, here, but all she can manage is the advice that she'd gotten about her concerns regarding Mara.]

...You just need to keep being better. Prove her wrong by living the best life you can. By putting her behind you.

[plentystrong]

[ Hearing that, Catra laughs through her tears while wiping the off with a finger. ]

I mean, I literally put her in a prison cell, so I'd say I'm doing pretty well on that front.

[swordsense]

[It's Adora's turn to laugh, weakly...but still.]

She deserves that.

[plentystrong]

[ That makes Catra sober up and stiffen a little. ]

Not gonna lie, didn't think I'd hear you say that.

[swordsense]

Well, I don't like Shadow Weaver any more than you do.

[Adora turns, leaning against the rail.]

What she did to me was bad. What she did to you is unforgivable. She deserves to be punished for that.

[plentystrong]

[ It's too much.

Here Adora is, saying exactly what Catra needed to hear from her. It feels unreal, and Catra doesn't know what to do with it.

She expected to hate her forever. That once her trust was broken, it wouldn't be mended.

It's not mended now. But it could be a beginning.

Yet Catra doesn't know how to trust in that. Ultimately, she looks away without answering. ]

[swordsense]

[Adora can tell that the words were striking. She can also tell that Catra's overwhelmed, so she just stands there, letting her old friend process things.

It's easy to stand in silence, but not really her way. So after several silent moments, she takes a step closer. Within easy reach if Catra felt like bumping elbows or something, but more to show solidarity.]

[plentystrong]

[ Here is where it gets to be way too much for Catra; she's overwhelmed, her train of thought fizzing out.

She recoils, looks away, then just stands there for a moment, obviously unsure what to do. Part of her doesn't want to just end this, but the greater part of her is overwhelmed by an urge to escape.

So that's what she decides to do. Clearing her throat, she rubs her neck awkwardly while scouting an exit route. ]

Uhh, good talk. See ya!

[ And with that, she jumps off the roof in a big leap. ]