[closed]

[performance]

WHO: Dick Grayson and Wally West
WHERE: Residence #28 and a local tuxedo rental shop
WHEN: Tuesday, 8/19
WHAT: Dick asks Wally to be his plus one to the charity ball. Tuxedo rental ensues.
WARNINGS: Teenagers, feelings, and very ugly suits.


[ The thing about being a rich kid — even if he isn't rich here, technically — is that parties become almost a part time job. And contrary to popular belief, most of them are very, very, very boring. Dick's been to his share of charity events, and when he heard about the upcoming ball, he didn't stop to think whether he had to go — just assumed it was his duty as the ward of a billionaire to make an appearance. The difference is that for the first time, he's actually allowed to bring a friend.

There's exactly one problem: it had been over a month since he'd stupidly admitted to his feelings for Wally, and there had been complete radio silence on the topic ever since. And while, for the most part, things have been normal between the two of them, the fact remains that it's difficult to platonically ask a friend to a dance, under the circumstances. Sometimes he really hates being a teenager.

It's not a date, he tells himself, even as he makes sure he's wearing his best shirt, the one that matches his eyes, the top button casually undone, his hair down so he looks slightly less hopelessly geeky. He just needs to look confident enough that Wally will realize it's not a date. It's completely sound logic.

One last check in the mirror — he's as good as he's gonna get — and he heads for Wally's room, leaning casually against the doorframe. ]

So hey. Are you doing anything this Friday?

[ Jeez, Grayson, you might as well have brought him flowers. ]

Comments

[performance]

What's right with it? No, seriously, name one thing.

[runningstart]

I like the purple. [Wally gazes at it like he actually likes the purple. Dear god, he might actually like that purple.] Especially with the black. That looks slick.

[performance]

I kinda have a thing about guys in purple suits. [ Evil clowns, man. Evil clowns. ] Vetoed.

How about something like this? [ Dick pulls something a little classier out: black with a subtle pinstripe. We can do texture. Sure. ]

[runningstart]

Dude. No. There's like, no color on that at all. Why don't I just put on a burlap sack and go in that, that'd probably be more exciting than whatever you're trying to shove on me now. [Wally waves his hand as if to shoo Robin's choice aside and goes back to flipping through the rack, pausing on something truly atrocious.]

[performance]

... I think I'm going to cry. Actually break down in tears right here. What— is that a cape?

[runningstart]

Whoa dude, I didn't even see the cape!

[performance]

That's not a good thing!

[runningstart]

I know right, I almost put it back! Now that I see the cape though, damn. I really like this! [OH GOD HE WANTS TO TRY IT ON]

[performance]

[ Dick might strangle him ]

You can't wear a cape to a formal event, Wally, I would know.

[runningstart]

Maybe you can't wear a cape to a formal event, [Wally says, holding the suit up to himself.] I could totally get a pocketwatch to go with this, I'll look so good.

[performance]

You'll look like a matador.

[runningstart]

Matadors are cool. [Wally takes the suit over to the counter.] Excuse me, garçon? Do you have this in my size?

[performance]

Matadors aren't— [ OH GOD ]

Sir, don't listen to him, he's not allowed out of the house unsupervised. He's very eccentric and not allowed to make financial or wardrobe decisions on his own.

[runningstart]

Excuse you! I'm renting this thing, so I get to pick what I'm wearing! Unless you'd like to rent it for me, then I'll wear whatever you want.

[performance]

[ THE MOST PRODIGIOUS GROAN ]

Are you doing this on purpose? Am I being punished for something?

[runningstart]

Yeah, you're being punished for being bossy as hell, [Wally sniffs. The suit unfortunately does not come in his size and it's pretty clear that nobody there wants to sell anything to Wally. Probably because he'll tell everyone where he got it and they'll be humiliated for all time. THEY NEED TO BURN EVERYTHING ON THE RACK THAT HE EXPRESSED INTEREST IN.]

Man, what the heck. I really wanted that one.

[performance]

... I'm not bossy.

[ He's incredibly bossy. ]

Okay. Let's— compromise? [ That word hurt to get out. BUT HE'S NOT BOSSY. ] What colors don't you want?

[runningstart]

Um, you're the one who doesn't want me wearing any colors, dude. I'm fine with color.

[performance]

[ slowly

very slowly

without breaking eye contact

he holds up something in soft grey ]

[runningstart]

There's no color in that! That is the absence of color!

[performance]

We'll get you a cool shirt to wear with it.

[runningstart]

So it can be all drowned out by that gray? No thanks. C'mon, we're going somewhere else.

[performance]

That isn't how colors work!

[runningstart]

Who're you, Martha Stewart? How do you know how colors work?!

[performance]

No! It's— there's a whole science to it. It's the same for this as it is for regular outfits as it is for superhero uniforms, and if they follow the rules, even the ones that wear bright red and yellow together can make it kind of work and look cool. It's how we designed our costumes back in the circus and it's how we pick stuff out for events like this so we don't have to look totally boring.

[ Dick presses his hands against his eyes and drags his palms down his face. They're making a scene and it's so dumb. SIGH. He takes a deep breath, he counts to five, and he tries to explain, ticking off points on his fingers as he goes. ]

It's really, really simple, okay? You pick a neutral color like grey or black or dark blue for the pants and the jacket, and because that's easy on the eyes, you can go brighter for the shirt if you want to, and then you pick a contrasting tie and the colors will pop and you'll look awesome without making anyone's face melt all Raiders of the Lost Ark style. That's it. That's the whole process. It's the easiest thing in the whole world.