closed

[the_caped_crusader]

WHO: Bruce Wayne & Jonathan Crane
WHERE: The Iceberg Lounge
WHEN: April 10th
WHAT: A GAME OF WITS
WARNINGS: Two assholes being assholes


[ bruce has very little patience to be doing this right now, but he knows that if he doesn't satisfy jonathan's needling he'll just pester him like a petulant child for the indeterminate future. he knows he's wearing very thin-- it's easily read on his face as he almost angrily brushes past the large security staff like they're not important enough to register and takes a seat across from his opponent, both literal and figurative, gesturing at the already immaculately prepared chessboard with impatience. ]

Black. As usual. Let's make this quick.

Comments

[restingstitchface]

[The move passes without protest. It does occur to Jonathan that Bruce's foul mood should be concerning, but he looks over his bar instead, peering through the blinds to his office, curious enough about his environment that he scarcely knows what to do with himself.]

I would think by now that you'd know my policy on rushing things, Bruce.

[He plucks a pawn and sets it down on d4 without ceremony. He'll take as long as he wants.]

[the_caped_crusader]

Yes, you're very methodical, Jonathan.

[ he almost rolls his fucking eyes, but resists, instead instantly moving his knight to f6 as though he'd put no thought into the move at all, but crane must know that wasn't true. ]

[restingstitchface]

Well, there's nothing wrong with the methodical way of work. [Knight to f3.] I cannot say I feel the same assurance for your melodramatic approach.

[Chill the fuck out, Bruce.]

[the_caped_crusader]

You could have fooled me. I always thought you were quite the fan.

[ it's lucky your sitting down, that way you can hide your boner, crane. pawn to e6. ]

[restingstitchface]

Do you know one of the worst aspects of growing old? Your expectations being disappointed.

[He crosses one leg. Pawn to c4.]

[the_caped_crusader]

I agree.

[ like the fact that he still has to fight or play chess with any of you fucks. pawn to c5. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Crane leans back, arm against his rest, and looks at Bruce as though he should be honored. Then he moves his pawn to d5.]

My guess is that's the most you'll agree with me for a while.

[the_caped_crusader]

Congratulations, Crane. You're thinking ahead. You may just win this after all.

[ eyes half-lulled; pawn to a6. ]

[restingstitchface]

[He doesn't acknowledge that. There's no murmur nor expression as he manoeuvres his pawn to a4.]

You're kidding. Unless what you're saying is you'll lose to get out of here soon as possible.

[the_caped_crusader]

Oh, I would never.

[ said sardonically, eyes locked with his. bishop to d6. ]

[restingstitchface]

Of course you would! You know how easy it is to lie to someone's face. After all, even you lie out of necessity - and you know it.

[The comment passes in a lilting voice, as his fingers elegantly move his knight to c3.]

[the_caped_crusader]

[ flat stare. jesus... ]

Learn to read a room, Jonathan.

[ queen to e7. ]

[restingstitchface]

[King's pawn to e4.]

I picked up how to do that in school. As far as lessons go, it was easily learned.

[Hard-learned. But whatever.]

[the_caped_crusader]

I see. Was this before or after your professorship?

[ you know, the one you were fired from for traumatizing your students. pawn takes pawn at d5. ]

[restingstitchface]

Before, if you must know.

[Pawn at c4 takes black at d5.]

[the_caped_crusader]

I might consider rethinking that self-evaluation.

[ knight takes pawn at e4. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Crane sniffs. He decides to stare at Bruce for a good while - but rather than take his advice on board, he denies he has a problem.]

There's nothing wrong with a clinical approach to people, Bruce.

[It's great for his insecurity!]

[the_caped_crusader]

[ the same austere stare as before. ]

Make your move, Jonathan.

[restingstitchface]

I just need a couple of moments to decide. My God, you're so impatient.

[He leans back and looks at the board. Of course he already knows what he'll do.]

[the_caped_crusader]

[ SITS BACK. STARES. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Frowns. Drums his fingers on the armrest.]

Will you please stop staring? It's very distracting.

[the_caped_crusader]

You have thirty seconds until I leave.

[ FLAT. STARE. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Crane buckles down and drums the armrest with his fingers. Twenty-five seconds in, after pushing those boundaries, knight takes knight at e4.

Then he offers a flat stare of his own.]

[the_caped_crusader]

[ queen takes knight at e4. his move is done the instant crane moves his piece. he doesn't even break his stare at jonathan to do it. he's ready to be done with this. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Bishop moves to e2.

Slowly, Crane leans his elbow on the armrest and leans his cheek into his fist. He stares through half-lidded eyes.]

[the_caped_crusader]

[ queen to b4. ]

What's wrong? You've gotten quiet. Is this not fun anymore?

[restingstitchface]

That depends on what you mean by fun.

[Left bishop to d2. Then he looks down at something on the floor. Nothing in particular, really.]

[the_caped_crusader]

You think our talks are like this game of Chess. Some pretentious way for you to channel your intellectual superiority. But it's not fun when I don't want to play, is it?

[ queen takes pawn at b2. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Crane brings his hands together in his lap and folds them over. He inspects the board and moves his rook to b1, then appears to nervously let out some tired air. More theatre.]

No. But remind me again what it is you do at night.

[Point being: sometimes you do things you hate because they're necessary.]

[the_caped_crusader]

[ he doesn't respond to that. mostly because he's afraid that he may have reached the conclusion that he enjoys being batman. he pulls his queen back to f6. ]

[restingstitchface]

Silence is avoidance. Don't ignore the subject. Tell me what you're thinking.

[Rook to b6. He's closing in physically and psychologically.]

[the_caped_crusader]

No.

[ his flat stare is more a glare now, voice closer to batman than bruce. pawn to h6. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Pawn to a5.

He speaks sheepishly.]

Oh, Bruce. [Not Batman.] Don't be scared. It's not like I'll share your secrets.

[the_caped_crusader]

Do you think I'm scared, Jonathan? It's not exactly the world's greatest secret.

[ he castles his king to g8. ]

Half of Gotham knows who I am. Do you know why they don't say anything? Because I'm Batman.

[restingstitchface]

[A heavy sigh. He castles his king at g1.]

Question asked, question answered.

[And looks momentarily mad at the thought he's given up on night life.]

But, you know, you're leaning on your reputation a tad heavily. It doesn't sound like you regret your nights on the town.

[the_caped_crusader]

And if I did I wouldn't be able to enjoy such engaging small talk.

[ rook to e8. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Rook to e1.]

You're the one objecting to me engaging you in other ways. Think about it.

[the_caped_crusader]

But do you object to it? That's the part the matters. Otherwise what are we doing other than lying to each other.

[ knight to c6. ]

[restingstitchface]

It's a life I can do without. But that's a moot point.

[Pawn takes c6 knight.]

It's an easier life for you this way, isn't it?

[the_caped_crusader]

If I was looking for easy, I would have stopped years ago. What I want is for you to be better. Not because I want it, but because you do.

[ pawn takes pawn at c6. ]

[restingstitchface]

Bruce, the human mind doesn't work that way.

[Bishop moves to c4 while he contemplates "the human mind". A better phrase than "mental illness". He feels deeply that it isn't a problem for him.]

[the_caped_crusader]

Of course it does. It's called remorse, Jonathan.

[ rook takes rook at e1. ]

[restingstitchface]

Don't confuse remorse with regret. You're smarter than that.

[Queen takes e1 rook.]

[the_caped_crusader]

Don't be a pedant, you know exactly what I'm saying.

[ queen to e7. ]

[restingstitchface]

Yes, and you know exactly what I'm feeling. That I am happy when I am safe.

[Queen takes queen.]

I am sorry my work here finished the way it did. That's all I care about.

[the_caped_crusader]

Fear isn't safety, no matter how you consider it.

[ bishop takes queen. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Knight on f3 to e5.]

It's a survival mechanism. What about it doesn't keep people safe?