maskormenacelogs | [ closed ] some say the road is clear, some say confront your fear

WHO: Reiner Braun, Bertholdt Hoover, & Annie Leonhart.
WHERE: Carver's Gap, North Carolina.
WHEN: August 22nd (afternoon) - August 24th (evening).
WHAT: The three teenagers head out for a weekend of backpacking and camping while reporting in regularly with the military. Time to digest recent events away from most everyone else, leaving all but the military assigned equipment behind.
WARNINGS: Possible spoilers for the series, teenagers being teenagers, feelings, lack thereof, and hiking.

They'd been dropped off and told they were double tagged, and had a team standing by should any situations arise. Both for their protection, and the protection of civilians who had no idea that the three teenagers shouldering their beat up, military issue backpacking packs weren't simply on a later school start schedule, out for one last hurrah before school began. Armed with a guide to the local flora and fauna, they set out on the 21 mile hike they had in mind, hopefully well bundled up against the wind.

It was their "me" time... with each other.

[ ooc: Set up top levels for what things we want to thread out most, I'm writing this to be a general lead in! Picked a hike that fit about their timeframe, we can switch it up if we like. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The weather, as usual, is clear, bright, and incredibly warm -- ideal in some ways for a hiking expedition and working against the three of them in others. They might be able to handle the heat better than normal people could -- Bertholdt especially, Reiner imagines -- but that doesn't make slogging through it with hiking and camping equipment exactly pleasant, either. Reiner appreciates the wind blowing back against his face, blowing his hair back.

Still, he can't complain. Hiking up into the mountains puts him in a good mood, even if they aren't mountains he's familiar with. The further they walk, the more clear his mind feels, both in a refreshing way and a disruptively nostalgic way, drawing his thoughts backwards to simpler times; he snaps a tree branch as they pass to scratch his arm with, so his mind stays in the here and now. No drifting, no matter what he has to do to prevent it from happening.

When they stop for a breather, Reiner pulls out his water and takes a generous sip from it before he sets his things down to give his arms and back some reprieve, however temporary it might be. The sun's still out but getting lower, dark streaks of cloud bursting across the sky in deceptively colorful lines.

"Annie," Reiner says, walking over to her. "How's it going? Do you need me to carry anything for you...?"

In a way it's somehow more difficult knowing how to talk to her after their announcement, but Reiner knows it shouldn't be. The three of them had made a stand together and they are committed to that, committed to sticking together through the consequences. To him it seems only right more of an effort be made, even if he and Annie haven't been close otherwise.

She looks his way, glancing up with her lips pursing as she decides against saying something she might regret. School has been an oddity to settle back into, and it didn't feel much like back so much as starting for the first time. The guessing game of "who's an imPort, who's been moved into the area by parents looking to make connections, who just moved into town because why not" has kept people entertained as old social groups re-established bonds, new ones forming in the tentative and cementing ways that appeared to be part of the normal flow of events.

She kept quiet. There were decisions coming up fast, and she didn't have to think about those right now. Here there was the sunlight, the trees, the gusts of wind that were cooling down as they hiked further, a respite from the heat that has plagued them before now. She breathes in, feeling cleaner air penetrate deep into her lungs.

This isn't home, but it's better than being trapped down below.

"No, I've got it." She shifts the straps of her pack, admiring the build for a moment. Military design meant more practical for long hikes according to the technology of thirty years ago over rough terrain, but thirty years in the past here was still decades beyond anything at home in her present.

He doesn't know how to talk with her, and she's as unsure with Reiner. There'd been a renewing of resignation after the carnival, that careful framing of herself as she started locking herself away again, piece by piece. The jigsaw of her heart is better preserved behind crystal walls.

But it can't be a complete. She's felt that pressure build before, and there will always need to be an outlet. It's her own fallacy that she thinks she can ever truly shut down the part of her that cares and tries to connect in spite of herself. There are only two safe outlets, safe and impermanent. The two who are here with her now... who can't help but know her as who she is, even if they disappear from this world, and return, remembering nothing.

"You know I don't hate you, right?"

Like Annie, Reiner is somewhat at odds with starting up school again, since this time they're around for the year's beginning and everything is different than it was at the end of it. Routine is routine, but Reiner's classes are different, his classmates are different, and the expectations he's still trying to figure out. Unlike Annie, however, Reiner can find a way to fit in during all of that easily enough; he makes friends a little too naturally, even if they're not close ones.

That's where, for the moment, he's categorizing Annie. They're closer than he is with anyone he's met at school, of course, by virtue of history, but navigating a proper friendship with her (if it could be called one) is new territory.

"Well, all right. Suit yourself," he says casually, brushing her response off. It's her follow-up that stops him from continuing walking along ahead, allowing for the distance between them to hang at least until they make camp for the day.

You know I don't hate you, right?

He hasn't really thought about it at length, but the thought has crossed his mind. Not hate, but at least dislike. Annoyance. Nothing offensive; some people were incompatible in the fine ways of not getting on each others nerves.

"Yeah," he says carefully, after a few moments of silence. "Don't sweat it. I don't hate you either, you know? We're friends now... it's cool."

No matter how nice it is the further they hiked, Reiner can't shake that familiar ache that stirs in his chest every so often, that longing to be home. It's both stronger now yet also somehow pacified, his mind and body feeling restless but at peace amidst the familiar sort of wilderness. It's the kind of feeling that makes him wonder if it really could be possible to start over here, if only until they have to return to their real lives.

(It's weird to think of it that way, their lives here versus their "real" lives. But that's how it is, isn't it? There's no way to know how permanent or temporary this current situation is.)

They've already set up camp for the evening by the time Reiner decides to approach Bertholdt to go on a shorter hike themselves, just to explore the area. He has no particular ulterior motives in mind except to have that short span of time to just the two of them, to allow the weight of recent weeks finally and fully sink in; he always feels more himself when he's with Bertholdt. More than that, he wants to make sure Bertholdt is holding up okay himself. Now that they're sharing a house with several other people, Reiner feels like they haven't really had time for just themselves, to talk and to just be.

He's not sure where Annie is, so he puts his hand on Bertholdt's shoulder and leans close to murmur in his ear. "Hey, Bertholdt. Let's go on a walk, all right?"

[ closed ] some say the road is clear, some say confront your fear

REINER & ANNIE

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REINER & BERTHOLDT