maskormenacelogs | Trashpanda Express.

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Trashpanda Express.

WHO: Ruby Nakamura, Riptide, and Quatre Winner
WHERE: DeChima #003
WHEN: Some time in the first two weeks of April.
WHAT: Roomie shenanigans.
WARNINGS: None yet.

It was a normal day. The weather was that type of crappy that you get in early spring. And honestly? If the weather meant warmer days were coming, there was a least one resident of DeChima #003 who could say she would welcome the dreary day. The windows of the building were open just a crack. There was the smell of coffee drifting through the air. At the table were the three raccoons tha- Wait just a darn minute.

Ruby was sitting at the kitchen table with her head laying on the surface, a raccoon in each of three chairs. They were sitting like proper gentle-critters, and slowly having a go at the pitted dates that the teen had placed before them as a peace offering. Their host would occasionally look from one raccoon to another, much like one would look between speaking conversation partners, and unlike Ruby (who stayed silent) the forest dwellers would occasionally chatter and chirrup.

And so, this was the scene that anyone who walked into the kitchen would see, assuming they didn't make too much noise first.

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This is... certainly a scene. Riptide walks in, stops in the door way. Shakes his head, turns on his heel and walks back out.

Regardless of who's in his way.

Quatre. Quatre is who's in his way. Riptide is a) a foot and a half taller than Quatre and b) secretly a giant robot, so Quatre smacks right into him with a heavy "oof."

Shaking his head slightly, he glances up at Riptide and then attempts to look around him at the kitchen (it doesn't work). "Sorry, Riptide. What's wrong?"

And Ruby, oh. Ruby looks up at the source of the sound. She's not the only one, the forest denizens all turn in the same direction. Were anyone to be able to see them in that moment, they would see four creatures staring at them with remarkably similar intent gazes.

Putting his hand on Quatre's shoulder, Riptide swings himself around to crouch behind Quatre's back in one fluid motion.

His blue mohawk is still poking up. It's not a good hiding spot.

"She's being weird again," he hisses between his teeth at the shorter blonde.

"Ah-- Ruby is?" Quatre asks as he's essentially pushed up to the front line; he could tell Ruby was there from the start, but his ability doesn't work the same on animals (well, not unless the animals are imPorts themselves); it means he's caught completely off guard when he tilts his head into the doorway to see a... trio of raccoons watching him from the kitchen table. And Ruby. He blinks for a second, taking in the entirety of the room, as well as the window to see if a bunch of raccoons snuck in to root through the garbage, and then settles for a weak, "Um. Good morning?"

"O-ha-yo!" Ruby sounds pretty cheerful, considering it's pretty early in the day. She sees Quatre looking at the raccoons and the windows, and laughs. "They're my guests. Sort of. I'm attempting to make something of a business partnership with them."

One of the Raccoons chitters quite loudly, looking at Quatre and Riptide with concern. Ruby turns her face to the raccoon, and something seems to pass between them unspoken. The next moment, all of the raccoons have gone back to eating the dates.

Okay, yeah, that was a little creepy, actually.

"I told you! Creepy!" he hisses again, though comes out from behind Quatre.

"Heeey.... Ruby..." Riptide offers awkwardly, edging towards the fridge. Just gotta get the smoothie in there. "You look like you're having... fun..."

Quatre can't deny that this is a little... unsettling-- maybe moreso when the raccoons all snap back to their food as if nothing had happened-- but it's not the most unsettling thing he's experienced in this world, at least. "Ruby can talk to animals," Quatre offers, as if presenting something of an explanation could lighten the mood. "Though are they... going to be staying in the house? They'll upset the Maguavac." The Maguavac being their roomba, helpfully labeled with his own nametag, because god forbid Quatre not stan for his roomba.

Ruby snorts a little at Riptide. "I can hear you, you know." She doesn't look that insulted, and honestly, she isn't. "I don't think that asking the neighbors to keep an eye out for people sneaking around is creepy at all. It's just that these neighbors are four-legged, furry, and bribeable with fresh and dried produce."

She pet one of the raccoons on the head, and promptly got a 'why did you do that?' look from the creature. She pulled her hand back and placed it on the tabletop.

She looks to Quatre and shakes her head. "Absolutely not. They're not domesticated, probably don't want to be, and it wouldn't be good for their health to live here, not with all the easy ways to access junk food and over eat. They're wild animals." Says the girl who brought them into the kitchen. "They'll be returning to their usual places once we've finished our business meeting."

"Racoons, though? Those things keep getting into the rubbish! They probably have fleas! Ugh!"

Riptide throws his hands up, sticking by Quatre like the younger guy could protect him from all this organic fuckery.

"Can't you meet with them outside?!"

The sad thing is that Quatre knows a few people who wouldn't think twice about this-- or at least a few people who would just nod at Ruby's consideration for securing their home from all sides. That plus his natural instinct to play peacekeeper has him holding his hands up soothingly, encompassing both Riptide and the trio of raccoons. "It's not a bad idea, Ruby, and it's kind of you to think of it. But Riptide is right-- it's better for everyone if the raccoons stay outside. They're probably not comfortable here either. Besides," he adds with an inspired tilt of his head. "there's still space in the house, and you never know when someone new will be assigned here. I wouldn't want them to get frightened if they see wild animals inside the house before you get a chance to explain."

Ruby seems to think that over for a little, then shakes her head.

"While I agree on one part, that it might scare someone new, they're not uncomfortable, because they were invited in and are to be let out once our conversation is over. They won't be making a habit of coming indoors. This time was..." She looks like she's trying to find the right words, rotating her left wrist in a 'hurry up' motion, until she starts to speak again. "Kind of like a peace offering. I intruded on their living space - not intentionally - so I decided to let them see mine. And I gave them food." She nods meaningfully at the pitted dates.

The raccoons either have no idea they're being talked about, or they don't care. They'll occasionally look at one of the humans, but for the moment being they're almost eerily calm, considering they're not in their own element.

Ruby then looks to Riptide, getting the shit-eating-est grin on her face. "By the way? They absolutely have fleas. Not that it's going to present an issue, since they're not staying after our meeting."

"Uaarrrgh!" Riptide groans, throwing his hands up as he stomps to the fridge. "You are so weird! I can and will crush this entire house if I see even one of them!"

He groans, grumbling in half-spoken Neocybex as he digs through the fridge, settling on a tinfoil wrapped burrito.

"I thought you were into dogs, anyway." He says, taking a bite of the burrito and pointing at Ruby with it.

"Don't threaten to crush the house, Riptide!" Quatre calls out after him, more in the tone of voice a mother uses to gently chastise a child than one of actual fear that Riptide would follow through. But on second thought, the dogs are a good point-- not that Ruby can only be interested in one animal, but that the risk of fleas could be a real concern. "Ah, though I'd hate to bring fleas to the dogs at work, so please do what you have to after they leave to make sure that isn't a problem."

Ruby nods at that. "I'll get some flea powder that isn't bad for dogs. Though, I don't think they've been in any rooms with carpet." Which might beg the question of how they got into the kitchen. "I don't think it's anything to worry about with how short a time they'll be here, and the fact that no other animals currently live in the house. Fleas will drink human blood, but they don't have as easy of a time with reproducing when humans are the only 'prey' because we don't have fur that's good for laying eggs in."

She pauses, looking like she's thinking. "At least that's how I understand it. We weren't able to avoid lice since those things love humans," she looks up at Riptide, "Not that it's an issue right now, but we never really had a flea problem anywhere we bunkered. Even with my active use of wild animals as security."

"I don't-- I don't care? We're not where you bunkered before. We're here."

He takes another bite dramatically.

"Not in the house. Or at least if you're gonna stink up an area keep them to your room."

Quatre shudders. "I know insects are important to Earth's ecosystems, but still..." It's one thing to know what bugs do intellectually, another to actually have to think about them drinking blood and laying eggs and all of that. But he smiles, cheerful and matter-of-fact as if Ruby's already agreed to change things moving forward-- or more accurately as if the possibility that she wouldn't didn't exist. "But thank you for your understanding. Let's let them out of the kitchen now."

Now, Ruby would like to think of herself as reasonable. She tried to listen out to hear the comments and concerns of others, because that often made things go a lot more smoothly and allowed her to manipulate circumstances so that things would be a little better for her end goals. However, she was not as reasonable as she would like to think, and when it came to animals, she could be even more unreasonable.

So when she felt the honor of her guests was threatened, she naturally got a little peeved at Riptide.

"They're not stinking up the place! They're just sitting at the table eating pitted dates! They're not even looking at you until you speak loudly! What's more? I don't understand why you're being such an asshole toward beings that might be willing to help alert us to people sneaking about when we're living in a world where an organization that wants us dead has apparently been stealing cups and stray hairs so they can change reality itself!

"I can get it if you don't like animals, not everyone does, but that's no reason to be a giant walking penis about this whole thing! Not when it could potentially keep reality itself safe on some level!" She snorts. "Not that I'd understand why you feel the need to treat the raccoons like they shouldn't exist."

Unfortunately, it seemed that Quatre's attempt to settle things down had been largely ignored for the moment.

The raccoons meanwhile were starting to get visibly agitated, stuffing as many of the dates into their mouths as they could. While Ruby was doing her best to keep the emotional flow to them one of comfort, her frustration was starting to seep through.

"Do not penis in my direction!"

He takes another bite of the burrito, then wraps it back up to put it on his side in the fridge. "And I don't see how they're going to save reality itself. I feel like that's a really weird spiral to go down. You know what happens when reality tears apart? It just goes and keeps going! Raccoons don't stop it!"

Slamming the fridge door shut, Riptide throws his hands up in irritation.

"Friggin' humans! Always so weird!"

You don't have to have empathy to recognize that frustrations are running high in this kitchen. Because Quatre does have empathy, he winces like he's fighting off a low-level, persistent headache, right around the same time that the raccoons start packing their food away like they want to get out of dodge. Quatre raises both hands in an attempt to defuse tension, or at least tell them all to shut the fuck up.

"Stop," he says forcefully. "Everyone calm down. We can discuss this in a second, but right now, look at them." Rather than gesture to the raccoons, he walks past them to shove the nearest window up all the way.

Ruby felt a pang of guilt. While she could easily blame Riptide for making her mad, she had no one else but herself to foist the responsibility on to keep that anger from bleeding through to the raccoons. She was quick to stand up and bring the chair she'd been sitting on over to the window so the raccoons could get out easier.

There was then an exchange between them - her expressing that they were safe, that her frustration was not at them, that she was sorry for them having to feel it, and that they wouldn't be kept from leaving. For there part, the raccoons finished stuffing their mouths with food and started toward the window, looking far less comfortable than they had when the conversation between the humanoids had started.

Riptide doesn't seem to revel in this victory. He disappears out the kitchen for a moment, returning with a surface cleaner spray. It has a bow on it, with a little note written in cursive sticking off the side. He holds it up and at the very least, has the decency to wait until the last raccoon is out before he starts spraying down the table.

"Ugh..."

Well, the emotional tension isn't completely cleared, but at least there are no frightened animals winding things up further, and the break to let the raccoons out is enough to stay off the worst of Quatre's headache. "Thank you," he says into the beat of silence. He briefly considers taking a seat at the table, but Riptide probably has the right idea of waiting to wipe it down first; instead he closes the window and leans up against the wall. "Can we discuss things without yelling now?"

He somehow says it with pure sincerity, like he's just innocently wondering, and not with an obvious trace of snarkiness.

Ruby wanted very much to point out that she hadn't been yelling until it was very clear that Riptide wasn't listening, but she held back, deciding to instead give the cybertronian a meaningful look.

"I can't speak for others, but I surely did my best in that regard, and so long as others are willing to comply with that, I'm willing to try again."

Okay. Maybe she wanted to point it out too much.

He scowls back at her, contemplating spraying in her direction but ultimately deciding against it. He just flips her off instead.

You know, like an adult.

"Whatever."

Quatre waits another moment under the naive hope that one of the others will put forward more than that. When that miracle doesn't occur, he sighs and takes a moment to miss his fellow pilots. Even if they were all this stubborn at times, at least they were stubborn about serious issues. "Then let's try it again. Ruby, thank you for thinking about how to keep the house safe. Next time please talk to us first before you invite living creatures into the home. Riptide, please don't make crude gestures at our housemates, it's not polite."

"I don't care if he makes rude gestures at me. What I care about is the implication that my allies are useless." Ruby crosses her arms, very much willing to die on this hill apparently. "I'll avoid bringing wild animals in without talking to you guys first. However, I'm still bringing in dogs to get them cleaned up and stuff before I take them to a pound. And I'm going to invite people over if I so please, since I doubt either of you has to ask before you bring a friend or two over."

There's a small pause.

"For the record, by bringing people over, I mean a reasonable number. Anything more than four is too hard to keep track of, not that I'm going to be stupid and invite more people than I can fight into my place of dwelling. I'm likely to limit myself to two unless I have a really good reason."

She had no intent to try and host a wild teen party in this house.

"What? Do what you want with people. It's animals I don't want in here."

He shakes his head, spraying some of the chairs.

"I'll believe you when they bring in something useful..."

If she'd seemed upset before, she now seemed angry. "Animals have kept me alive! Without them I'd be dead. They've done more for me than every human being combined, including making sure I wasn't found when I was spying and carrying out sabotage against the cult I was stuck in.

"They made sure I didn't die a traitor's death, which is, for the record, being burned alive. They brought me food when I was too sick or too weak to get it myself. They defended me from some of my fellow cultists who would have benefited from my death when I was recovering from too many injuries to fight them off myself. Hell, they fought off people who wanted to do grosser things than just slice my neck open and leave me for dead.

"Just because you don't like anything that can't talk to you doesn't mean they're useless. It means you're too stupid to see their value!"

Did she need to call him stupid? No. Did it make her feel a little better? Honestly no, but if there were even the vaguest chance it might make him feel worse, or stick in his craw, she felt in that moment that it was worth doing.

Something changes in Riptide's expression suddenly. Something deep.

"You--" he starts, then stops. Goes to the kitchen door. "Fuck you!" He shouts, slamming it as he leaves.

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Trashpanda Express.

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