why do the bare minimum when you can overdo things [OPEN]

[fauxmarth]

WHO: the mysterious Prince of Kanada, assorted
WHERE: all over
WHEN: January
WHAT: Lucina's on social media damage control. Odin helps. many lives are enriched and cats saved.
WARNINGS: stupidity



A silly little rumor about some scattered pixels on the internet has spun wildly out of control, and now warring factions of overzealous Lucina fans have taken arms and pamphlets in protest (or support!) of a false relationship that vexes not only those targeted, but one Very Irritated Space Princess. Darin's forge has taken hits, as has the Aegis Force general post office box -- it can go on no longer. Lucina won't stand for it.

Fortunately, this is not a battle she must fight alone. And, in seeking the wisdom of her technically-younger-but-currently-elder cousin, the definitely great and questionably wise Odin Dark, her path was made clear:

Lucina must construct a false relationship -- create a mysterious and marketable figure to ensnare the voracious, hyperactive imaginations of her followers, and draw them off the scent of her dear, real friends. Unlike the mythological Marsha Brady where inspiration was drawn, this plan will succeed, because unlike said Brady, Lucina has Odin to help.

And so, clad in glittering velvet, a concealed and painted Falchion, and the most fanciful of hats and mustache, the mysterious Prince of faraway Kanada begins a brief campaign of appearances throughout the known imPortverse -- lingering just long enough to start a bit of gossip and make an impression and then leave.

All the while Lucina, internally, kind of wants to die of embarrassment. The things one must sacrifice for the sake of her friends... Maybe she will let Odin push Darin a bit.


In MAURTIA FALLS, Lucina takes care to fit in her fake-boyfriend time with her duties as a member of the Force, using said membership to her advantage. How else would she hear about fresh emergencies? Other heroes have swooped in before a Force member could get there before -- she's not setting a precedent here!

So, say you're out here doing just that: finding a crime underway and doing (or not doing) something about it when behold! From the shadows! The sound of steel being drawn and the sudden shifting of shadows giving way to glitter and...this guy! Here he comes! Whoa!


In HEROPA, where imPort sentiment is at its most positive, the Prince must make himself more accessible to the people at-large...but in small doses. Not only is black velvet a bit stifling even in a Florida winter, but the more she's put in the position to talk, the more likely her cover will be blown! And the theater makeup applying the mustache won't last forever if she's sweating!

Perhaps you find her in just that situation -- and it's not uncommon! New imPorts get rushed like this all the time, after all.

"You are all very, very kind," she says, trying to deepen her voice. "I thank you. But I must away -- I have a date. With...with Princess Lucina..."

She wants to die.


In DE CHIMA, where Lucina volunteers free time at the O'Malley Clinic, she must take care to curate appearances on her...actual end. It's silly, but the amount of flowers and treats she's ordered for herself under aliases has got to start getting noticeable by now, right? Considering the number of flower arrangements now lining the waiting room and office spaces? It's kind of fun getting presents! Just...not like this. Yet she must really make a show of being quite over the moon about it, otherwise it'll just seem suspicious!

Suspicious like...like never seeing the actual sender of these gifts! Ha ha! What!

See that big bouquet of multicolored daisies walking down the sidewalk? Lucina's definitely behind that! And she can't really see precisely when the light's changing, so perhaps tipping her off before she walks off into traffic would be nice...?


In NONAH more Princely do-gooding is done -- as well as exploring; this is her least-traversed town by a long shot, so it's kind of...liberating! To bound rooftop to rooftop and observe the goings-on. She'll even deign to swoop down to support even mundane troubles! Flat tire? Dog won't leave the dog park? Need to get all these groceries carried in one trip? Let the gallant Prince of Kanada be your support! It's...normal do-gooding! Just...with a bad false voice!

Also: No one told her Nonah has good yogurt? This is really good yogurt; the Prince of Kanada will also take some time to perch on the lip of a water fountain to enjoy some yogurt.

Comments

[fauxmarth]

[the noble prince startles a bit, having been so caught up with the purplest of prose that was ever typed in Book Antiqua font on this flyer when Darin arrives; he yanks the paper off and crumples it in hand in the same motion it takes to turn on his heel and come to face him.

...ah.

oh.

uh.

wait. does she...break character? or? or would he suspect she's been pasting these? uh? er--

he clears his throat.]

Gr-greetings, Master Darin. I've...heard much about you. [...] A bit too much by way of slander, I'm afraid. [he opens his hand a bit to expose the crumpled page for emphasis.]

I've decided to hasten their removal. It's unseemly.

1/2

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[This is...]

[...Is this happening?]

[Oh gods this is happening.]

[Does she really think that--]

[Haaaahahahahahahahaha oh wow.]

[Okay then. We're doing this, I guess??????]

Yeah...

What can I say? I'm used to my reputation preceding me.

You know my name but...I don't think we've been properly introduced...?

[fauxmarth]

[she strongly wishes to flee. or knock him unconscious. both. both is good.

but, dammit all...she committed to this.]

I suppose not. She's...not apt to broadcasting her relationship so easily. [gee. gee is that relatable? who would know. hm. HMM.

passive-aggressive jabs aside, he straightens up, polite:] I'm the Prince from a far-distant land beyond this world called Kanada. I've not been here long.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

... ... ...

The Prince of.

...

[Keep it together.]

I-I'm...I'm sorry. I guess I'm still just waking up. Or the cold air is...y'know.

The Prince of...where?

[fauxmarth]

Kanada, sir.

[she wishes very very much to punch him.]

Ah, but--yes. I've heard there is a sovereign nation in this realm with a similar name. Canada, was it? But my homeland is Kanada.

I understand the confusion.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Oh, yeah. Definitely. No, that's on me.

And...you said you've heard about me. From...someone you're in a relationship with?

I'm sorry, this is all incredibly sudden.

Would you like to come in? Have some tea or coffee to warm up?

[fauxmarth]

Thank you, but! I'd...best not. Keep...her waiting. [it'd be fine if a vehicle suddenly crashed nearby. or into her.

or him.]

Perhaps some other time? When all of us are free.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Now, wait. Hold on a second.

You know, I happen to be a blacksmith of some renown. And I happen to notice you're carrying a rather special looking blade.

You wouldn't do me the dishonor of running off without letting me service that weapon of yours as repayment for looking after my Forge, would you, Your Highness?

[fauxmarth]

[instinctively, hands go to the hilt and sheath, and behind the mask, the prince's face is reddening.]

Di-dishonor...? But, but sir, there...it...so new to this world, there's been no chance to put my blade to any real work, there'd...be no point in it! You see...

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Now hold on, Your Highness!

A blade that isn't properly maintained is a discredit to the warrior and the one who forged it! Do you think countless battles are the only thing that causes a weapon to fall into disrepair? No!

The only thing that dulls a sword faster than war is complacency!

I insist.

[fauxmarth]

[aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA STOP!!!!!]

Y-you...you honor me, but-- [distantly, some pissed-off driver honks at a crossing.]

Ah-! Did you hear that! I must away! Thankyougoodbye! [IT'S TIME TO FLEE.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You're right! Sounds like trouble!

[Darin takes off along with His Majesty the Prince of Kanada.]

I'm a member of Aegis, you know! I can't turn my back when there's trouble going down! I'll lend you a hand!

[fauxmarth]

[double-triple-take, gawking behind the mask at him.]

O-oh, but! If you've a business to run, then y--!

[CLANG.

the prince bodies a streetlight post.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Okay, fun n'games and all, but that clearly hurt. Darin's there in a flash to steady the Good Canuckian Prince.]

Hey, easy there. You alright?

[fauxmarth]

[that's Kanuckian, thank you!]

Buhhh-- [owh...face...nose...mask...

he gasps. MASK--]

Aa-oh no! [before it can fall off all the way, he slaps his hands over the mask, as if to permanently smash it into place, all the while blood starts oozing out of one nostril.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Alright, come on. Let's go back to my forge. Can't have the good Prince of Kanada wandering around with a bloody nose.

[Darin starts ushering the masked Prince back towards his forge. Sorry, you're not rid of him that easily.]

[fauxmarth]

Uh, but-! No, no, it's--wait, hey-!

[even digging heels in, this prince is getting scootched back the way he fled, and Lucina's voice breaks character in her haste.

this is going all awry!!! no!]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Hey now, do you really think the object of your affection would really be okay with me just letting you roam around with a bloody nose? Please!

Don't worry. Mask stays on. Just gonna clean up that nose of yours a bit, okay?

[fauxmarth]

[he says that, but Lucina's still clutching at the door frame like a cat on its way to a bath.

through grit teeth:] It's--quite--fine, thank you! Really!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You know, women hate a stubborn man.

[Hello pot. Meet kettle!]

[fauxmarth]

I don't see--what that has to do with--this?! Grrhh-!! [fingers...hurt...]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You've got a girlfriend, don't you?? You should learn to be...more...compromising!

[WHEN DID SHE GET THIS CRAZY GRIP STRENGTH. HE REALLY DOESN'T WANT TO USE HIS POWERS.]

[fauxmarth]

[DESPERATE TIMES, ETC.]

Speak! For! Yourself! You! GYAHH-!

[aaand there goes the grip.

aaand the Prince of Kanada goes flying.

his hat flies off.

and the wig, too! upon splatting on the ground, anyway.]

Ufhh! Gah!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[SIGH.]

[Darin dutifully walks over and picks up the wig, then squats in front of the disgraced Prince of Kanada and offers it, along with the hat.]

Your wig, m'lord. Might want to considering pinning it to a wig cap if you're going to be out heroing. Especially if you're flying. Wouldn't want this to wind up on the evening news.