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maskormenacelogs2019-01-04 10:37 pm
pillz) wrote in maskormenacelogs2019-01-04 10:37 pm
20 πΆ BY HEAVEN AND HELL AND ALL THE FOOLS BETWEEN
WHO: Kylo Ren, Ronan Lynch, and Joseph Kavinsky
WHERE: The Meadows
WHEN: Close to the New Year, January 2019
WHAT: Awkward pancakes, following this.
WARNINGS: Drugs! Possibly some implied recent sexual content, mental illness, mentions of murders, kidnappings, other felonies, offensive language.
[joseph kavinsky made a lot of dubious-looking pancakes— dubious mostly because they're slightly burned or misshapen, maybe one of the batches came out more doughy than they should, after a full cook. no particular reason. insomnia. he wanted to fuck around with fire. he found a box with a recipe on the back and for some reason the refrigerator was populated with the ingredients, and he was extremely fucking stoned.
while posting murder questions on the internet. per his us'.
he looks up as kylo steps in, his hollow eyes going up and down the other young man, assessing.]
I also made orange juice, [he says. he makes a voila gesture. three glasses, poured remarkably unevenly.]
WHERE: The Meadows
WHEN: Close to the New Year, January 2019
WHAT: Awkward pancakes, following this.
WARNINGS: Drugs! Possibly some implied recent sexual content, mental illness, mentions of murders, kidnappings, other felonies, offensive language.
[joseph kavinsky made a lot of dubious-looking pancakes— dubious mostly because they're slightly burned or misshapen, maybe one of the batches came out more doughy than they should, after a full cook. no particular reason. insomnia. he wanted to fuck around with fire. he found a box with a recipe on the back and for some reason the refrigerator was populated with the ingredients, and he was extremely fucking stoned.
while posting murder questions on the internet. per his us'.
he looks up as kylo steps in, his hollow eyes going up and down the other young man, assessing.]
I also made orange juice, [he says. he makes a voila gesture. three glasses, poured remarkably unevenly.]
no subject
[ Kylo isn't bothered by Kavinsky's examination. If anything he seems to pause slightly, give him the room to complete whatever calculation it is behind his eyes, and then continue on his trajectory towards the counter. He picks up the glass with the most juice, of course, not really seeming too concerned with its reality of origin despite having put forward the questionβ there's no hesitation before he knocks back a good mouthful of the stuff. ]
no subject
pancakes might be an accomplishment by anyone's standards, but pouring a non-alcoholic beverage is leaps and strides, for joseph kavinsky. he studies the other young man sipping the orange from the glass for a long moment, before a reptilian smile turns up the corners of his mouth. he pulls out a chair and sits down, pushing the plate of mutant pancakes across the table. there are other plates too; empty ones.]
I remember you. From before. That shit with Groundhog Day. Right? You was there for Lynch.
no subject
I provided power.
[ Said as if he brought them a couple AAs. He sips at his orange juice thoughtfully. Ronan, of course, had told him it couldn't be done again. But since beginning to dream with him, he wonders... ]
For both of you, I thought.
no subject
For both of us, [he doesn't agree.] Like people buy chocolates for Valentine's Day, and for cheap, and for capitalism. But you was there him, like I was there for Murphy. But I appreciate it, cuz you was there for Murphy too.
[he hikes a shoulder, slouching lazily over the table's edge.] Not trying to say you shouldn't eat. Help yourself. [generous gesture of one tattooed hand.]
no subject
He nods, for a lack of anything better to say. He knows what loss is. ]
What we did benefited all of us. As amusing as it might have been to watch Dameron launch himself at a missile for a few more weeks.
[ He helps himself to a couple of Kavinsky's mutated pancakes, scanning the table for the syrup- which he then absently summons to hand and drenches them in. He offers the bottle across. ]
Syrup?
gotta give ronan something good to walk in on ;) ;)
What's he like with you?
[he isn't talking about murphy anymore.]
damn fuckin right
But this new idea, that there are different ways of being with Ronan, parts of him that Kylo hasn't seen- it gnaws at him unpleasantly as he saws through his pancakes like he expects resistance.
There's a definite edge to his voice, now. ]
What do you mean.
tw history of suicide
I mean, 'what's he like with you?'
[he douses it with syrup. he has always had a boring palate, you see. candy and beer, enough for him. he probably would have died of something other than suicide once upon a time.] Sweet, mean. Ask a lot of questions. Say the right things. [he counts out the possibilities blandly, without cadence between each item, watching the pancakes die without protest under kylo's fork. these days, he can't remember what he's supposed to think: if murphy was a copy of ronan, if ronan is a replacement for murphy. if a murphy will replace his murphy. kylo is strangely refreshing; he has no one's face but his own.] He make promises>
no subject
He doesn't have to. He does what he is.
[ Kylo watches Kavinsky curiously for a moment, sipping at his juice before returning to his pancakes. They taste fine to him, but then again he's not got much in the way of expectations. ]
He made you a promise, though. Didn't he.
no subject
at least this morning, he's too busy mouthing weird pancakes to set anything alight.]
Sure, [he says, with his mouth unattractively half full.] Broken a few already. You got daddy issues? I think it's his daddy issues. Or mine. Guess it doesn't matter. Words, words, words, baby.
welp
But he only realises this once the words are past his lips: ]
What has my father got to do with anything.
[ He stops. Eyes narrow. And his voice raises, aggression sliding in, familiar and faithful as armour. ]
It's about loss. For all of us. Letting it go. Finding something after it. Making something new.
That's what he's like. With me.
you are such a generous rper ilu
although to be fair, joseph kavinsky is on average not as well-trained or premeditated in advance, resilient to regret or contradiction afterward, and a great deal more of a mess. he stares at kylo for a moment, his face as hollow as a plaster relic. maybe he's even thinking about that; at how he'd let nothing go, even when he met murphy. he had not decided to make something new with him. what was new was that, this time, he hadn't fucked up the same way again.]
I don't know you're fuckin' dad, [kavinsky answers, no emphasis anywhere, a frank statement of fact.] But his is dead. And that line sounds like daddy issues to me. You think we don't all come from somewhere?
[it's not
that he's trying to make kylo angry, exactly. not really. if he knew how to be grateful, he'd be grateful to ronan. but you know.
kavinsky spends most of his time fucking up the same way. over and over.]
what no u, ilu
There's none of the triumph or satisfaction he would expect on Kavinsky's face. Nothing. And that absence is enough of a draw for his curiosity.
He knows what it is to be destruction waiting for a reason, but this...
He doesn't know what this is. ]
We can't change what we are, what we did. What was done to us. [ Terse, forcing the wild, chaotic scribbling energy coaxed to the surface back under, burying it one deliberate word at a time. His eyes are dark, furiously steady through the operation. ] Even here.
Our fathers. Our pasts. Our lives outside of this place. They can give us nothing.
All that matters is what we do, now.
[ There. He recentres himself in the declaration. ]
Why is it that you want to go back?
when should we get pana in hereeee
I don't. I mean, that's like, a option. And not my top one.
[one bit, a piece. but more honest than he's been with most.]
Why do you think you'd be different from the past and your life outside? [he asks.] People are doomed to fucking repeat. You don't think anyone loved you before?
[on the upside, that means he thinks-- or at least he infers, that ronan does love kylo. in the meantime, he stabs away another piece of breakfast pastry.]
crashes this party
It's impossible to tell how much - if any - of that conversation he might have overheard, because he says nothing. He only pops open the beer and leans against the counter to gulp down several mouthfuls.]
there he is!!
His fingers curl a fraction too tightly around his fork-- and before he can formulate an answer that might serve as adequate defence, Ronan appears.
The effect is immediate. His gaze slides from Kavinsky's attack, following Ronan's motion- and when it falls back, his fury has slipped under the surface. Kylo doesn't require its protection. ]
I want something different.
[ And that's enough. He continues his dissection of Kavinsky's pancakes, spearing a piece and stuffing it into his mouth. Maybe, he should stop. Maybe. ]
Do you?
precious ronanananana
but it's not all bad, either.]
Nah, [he says.] But maybe people change anyway. My first time making pancakes, you know. I dig your optimism, sweetheart. Lynch-- [he pushes a blank plate across the table.] Check it. I'm fucking domesticated. Add another boy to your ledger.
no subject
You think you're not already in it?
[He looks from the pancakes to Kylo, possibly assessing how far any poisoning might have progressed. Kylo looks perfectly healthy so far, even though he seems to have been eating for a while. That's a good sign.
Still, Ronan's just drinking this beer for now.]
no subject
Honestly, if Kavinsky's managed to poison him without betraying the slightest part of his intention to do so, Kylo will almost be more impressed than anything.
Almost.
He stabs another piece of pancake and drags it through the puddle of syrup until suitably drenched, more interested in watching the dreamers than adding commentary of his own. ]
no subject
I think, [he says,] I've never made pancakes before, and you aren't even showing up for the occasion.
[he gestures again. empty plate, empty chair. he's like a petty child insisting he's being nice, insisting he isn't touching anyone, while his finger hovers just outside the edge of someone's face. plausible deniability. but it's better than he used to be.]
I got news.
no subject
This oughta be good.
no subject
Is he watching Kavinsky try something new after all? ]
no subject
he doesn't shout or gesticulate, but there is something unmistakably, inherently dramatic about the way kavinsky stares at the two men across the table.]
I'm gonna get a job, [he pronounces, with spellbinding gravitas. joseph kavinsky, first of his name, or at least his particular dynasty of bulgarian mobster bullshit, to say such words as, 'i'm gonna get a job.' that wasn't crime-adjacent. or dependent on nepotism and having of higher degree. and then also,]
Then I'm gonna get you motherfuckers a gift to show just how grateful I am for all your help these past couple months when I was out of my mind.
[was.]
no subject
I'm fucking proud of you, K.
no subject
Despite the earlier provocation (or, perhaps, because of it?) he feels a strange tug of kinship, watching Kavinsky make his announcement- which may well be part of the reason he appreciates that tone in Ronan's voice. He seems genuinely interested in the answer when he asks: ]
Have you decided what you want to do?
no subject
(he didn't expect applause, but he's an egotistical boob, okay.)]
Yeah, [he says.] I'm probably gonna go into mental health.
[he should be expecting laughter. fortunately, neither ronan nor kylo ren are characterized by conventional reactions to hearing hilariously stupid news. but who knows. you are allowed to laugh.]
no subject
Good.
[He could follow that up with a dozen cruel wisecracks that blossom immediately in his mind, but in the end, he leaves it at that.]