[closed] a welcome reprieve from emotional agony

[performance]

WHO: DICK GRAYSON (codename birdbrain) and WALLY WEST (codename kidiot)
WHERE: Maurtia Falls, PA
WHEN: July 31st, NIGHTTIME
WHAT: Crimefighting and shenanigans.
WARNINGS: Nerds.

[ July had been a mess, but at least it's almost over. To celebrate that fact (and his newly-healed leg, and his friends' safe return home, and hopefully the end of everything awful for at least a little while) Robin had invited-slash-dragged Kid Flash out on patrol, just the two of them, somewhere far away from Heropa.

Huge, dark clouds hang heavy in the sky. There's no storm yet, but the air feels like lightning. Or maybe it's just the two of them— ]

Check it out!

[ Robin whoops as he leaps the gap between buildings, executing a neat (if completely pointless) midair somersault. ]

Comments

[runningstart]

Yep, that's- ow, that's me. A beautiful bruised swan. [Wally scowls and picks at a hole in his costume. Great. He's only got one of these.] But, up until that landing I'm pretty sure I was beating you.

[performance]

Ha! How do you figure?

[runningstart]

I got more air time, for one. Plus I just look more attractive than you do while in motion. [hahaha oh the delusions of this kid]

[performance]

You looked like a baby horse learning to run. In fast food colors.

[ Someone protests too much. He taps the logo on the center of Wally's chest, watching his uniform shift to black. ]

And air time doesn't count if you can't stick the landing, nerd.

[runningstart]

[Okay, fine. He does look much cooler in the black.] Well if we're going to be putting completely arbitrary rules on this competition, then I'm putting forward a vote that speed counts for at least one half of the overall score.

[performance]

[ Sort of dashing, though Robin would rather punch himself in the face than admit it. ]

All right, fine. Then each consecutive somersault increases the total point value on an exponential basis.

[runningstart]

No no no no. Too math. I'm talking airspeed velocity, hangtime and overall forward momentum. Tricks count for the other fifty percent.

[performance]

There's no such thing as too math! That, on the other hand, is too physics.

[runningstart]

There's no such thing as too physics! I hate to break it to you Boy Wonder, but your entire schtick runs on physics. All your fancy, [and here KF makes a gesture that's probably supposed to represent Robin flipping all over the place.]

[performance]

Everything runs on physics! Doesn't mean you have to drag it into our clearly delineated point system. And come on, my [ that same gesture ] is at least twice as cool as that.

[ He repeats it, going WAY bigger with his hands. ]

[runningstart]

What is this, the Winter Olympics? You gonna dock me a point because my underwear was showing? Shut up with your point system, you're just pissed that I'm cooler than you. [KF tries to prop the antenna back up straight, which is an exercise in futility. It's kind of wrecked. WHO THE HECK STILL USES ROOF ANTENNAS ANYWAY]

[performance]

I'm not gonna protest. That's just too sad. You just keep thinking that.

Maybe you should just leave a note, [ Robin adds, looking at the wreckage of the antenna. ] Or let them upgrade their equipment and consider it a public service.

[runningstart]

I'll leave a note, [KF sighs. With his luck this stupid piece of tin will cost a fortune to replace. Hell he'll just make a new one if he has to, he's probably got some wire coat hangers somewhere.

He pats himself down before glancing over at Robin.] Got a pen and paper in that fancy belt? [Come to think of it, how does he restock that thing without his Batman and the Cave and the money and the labs here?]

[performance]

[ Robin sighs, rolling his eyes. ]

What would you do without me?

[ There's a small yellow pad of paper, barely bigger than Post-Its, and a ridiculously tiny pen (that can write in space and underwater, in case that's necessary). He hands both over. ]

[runningstart]

Apparently not be able to write in space. [KF gives the pen an impressed little once-over before scribbling his contact information down and "sorry", folding it up and wedging it between the prongs of the antenna. He hands the paper and pen back to Dick.] I feel kinda bad. That's fixable, right?

[performance]

Don't worry about it, dude.

[ He pats Wally's shoulder. ]

They need a new one, I'll hook them up.

[runningstart]

You and what bank account, moneybags? [Wally shakes his head.] I got it. A Flash always cleans up after himself. [except for when it's like his room or the house or his food mess in the cave

He turns to give Robin a grin.] I believe we were in the middle of something. We're tied.

[performance]

Me and the sweet knockoff Radio Shack I've been working at. Employee discount. 15%. I know, I know, it's impressive, but hold your applause.

[ He sets his hands on his hips, grinning insufferably. ]

I'll let that math slide, and I'll let you run ahead, but I'll probably laugh at you again.

[runningstart]

Can't laugh at what you can't see!

[Wally turns and darts off, and he's already gone and past the horizon by the time Robin's cape stops flapping. Rude.

He's racing back not a minute later though, skidding to an unstable stop next to Robin and jerking a thumb over his shoulder.] B&E in progress thatta way. Wanna go get our hands dirty?

[performance]

Oh, baby, you're singing my song. [ what a nerd.

He starts off across the rooftops in the direction Wally pointed, already fishing his birdarangs out of his belt. ]

How many'd you see? Gimme the rundown.

[runningstart]

[Wally follows alongside him, not nearly as gracefully. Ugh. Robin ur such a dick sometimes]

At least five guys, they had a couple vans parked in the back. Electronics store, fancy one with all the Mac stuff inside. The ones I could see had guns.

[performance]

Dude, nice scouting. [ THUMBS UP ] That'll be a good warmup.

[ SO COCKY. He missed this. Two weeks was too long. ]

Let's take out their tires. And then I'm thinking number 26. [ when did he start numbering that high? ] I ambush 'em, and you disarm them while they're trying to figure out where I even came from. Then we tango.

[runningstart]

I dunno about that last one, bad guys always get so weirded out whenever we start dancing. [wait what's number 26 again, is that the one like hi-lo or is that the clothesline bodycheck]

[performance]

[ Well it's too late to ask, because he's hopping down quick and quiet to let the air out of some bad guy tires. ]

[runningstart]

Robin, what's-

[where the fuck]

...dammit. Robin! [Wally crouches at the edge of the building, peering down into the darkened alley. There's too much heat for infrared and too much light pollution for night vision, so the chances of him finding Robin in the shadows is about nil. He'll have to wait for a signal.

...ugh. Waiting.]