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WHO: Anakin & Hux
WHERE: De Chima
WHEN: After Age Plot shenanigans - and after Anakin stops hiding from the world.
WHAT: Imperial friends! Anakin needs to vent to someone who isn't family.
WARNINGS: Depression, body mutilation/burns/scars, murder... Vader is Vader.

His steps were slow and heavy - a reminder of what it had felt like to wear such a massive suit - and he was fully cloaked. The fabric of said cloak shut away the light as if it pained him even in its artificial form. He wasn't sure where he was going - only that he needed to get out - and it was with some surprise that he ended up at the house owned by his grandson and Hux. He very nearly turned around, unsure if he was ready to speak to anyone about the nightmare he had experienced, but something stopped him.

If anyone was going to understand and not presume that he was immediately a monster, it was them. He steadied himself with a small breath and his right hand rose, the artificial fingers closed into a fist, as he rapped on the door.

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Since Ren was out that night, Hux had set himself up with bitter tea and some work. It was a quiet night and he had made himself comfortable in a pair of pajama pants, a gray t-shirt, and slippers.

He paused when he heard the knock on the door, raising his eyebrows. He couldn't think of anyone who would drop by and, cell phone in hand just in case, he headed downstairs. He didn't hesitate to open the door, however, and it only took him an instant to recognize the hooded figure of Anakin Skywalker.

"Come in- Ren isn't home at the moment but I can call him," he offered as he held open the door for Anakin. Something about the other man seemed tense and on edge- something was wrong. "I think he went off to train this evening so I'm not sure exactly where he's at."

Words had never been difficult for him to find, but he found himself grasping at nothing when Hux first spoke. He took the invitation, regardless, stepping into the familiar home. His eyes had yet to change, remaining the painful red and gold that hallmarked the Sith.

"Ren has enough to deal with." Anakin felt a dam burst in his chest and in his head, letting his emotions flow out and leave him shaking where he stood. He had died. He had felt himself die. Moreover, he had felt the terrible power of Vader and it hadn't left him. Perhaps it never would.

"I was Vader."

He had never seen eyes like that, that definitely wasn't normal. Ren's eyes had never turned that color but he supposed it had something to do with the Dark Side of the Force. That was confirmed when Anakin spoke and the name Vader hung in the air for a moment.

While he had never met Darth Vader in person, the holos had frightened him when he was a child. Vader was a nightmare, a warning to any who failed in their duties to the Emperor and the Empire. But now Vader- Anakin- was standing before him shaking.

Hux lead them to the living room, letting Anakin sit down before he collapsed. "You experienced- everything? About being Vader?"

There was a chill that no amount of warmth or clothing could touch. It made him feel like he was turning to cold steel. Being Vader was no small burden. Physically, his body had been an utter wreck and racked with pain; mentally, his mind had been much the same. Then there was the oppressively Dark power that seemed to suck all of the oxygen out of the air. He had been terrified, almost insane and completely trapped.

He was glad to sit down. His legs practically gave out under him as he collapsed on the couch seat.

"...from the beginning...to the end." he murmured, running a hand through his hair, "I wasn't used to the suit...and then I was...and then the suit was damaged beyond repair. Fried, I think."

He had only experienced a little bit of the age changes that had happened but nothing that compared to what Anakin had gone through. He was quiet for a moment- he had never thought what it must have been like inside of Vader's suit.

He didn't ask if Anakin had died- he had experienced death in this world and he knew how unsettling it could be. He hadn't been able to sleep for weeks after the experience and sometimes it still lurked at the back of his mind, always there.

"We're not meant to remember these things. Dying," he said slowly. For a moment, his expression was less controlled, almost vulnerable. "It lingers and in your case, I cannot imagine what that must have been like.

Death had been delayed - so that he could know the true horror of it - and oh he had. As the sensors went dead, one by one, and the breathing apparatus stopped transferring the appropriate amount of oxygen into his lungs, all he could do was rest against a wall and wait for the inevitable. Death had been a relief for him, but once it was experienced, it could not be forgotten.

"The bullet..." he frowned, pained, "I remember." he shifted and rested his forehead against his hand, "My body was kept alive by that suit. It's not like I wanted to live that way..."

The Emperor had dictated it would be so. Anakin realized the man had done something to keep him around.

"I was burned. I lost my arm, my legs... I shouldn't have been alive." his eyes narrowed, "He attacked Luke. Sidious did." he gritted his teeth, "I placed myself between them and that was how my suit was fried."

So some of the rumors had been true-Vader was part machine. Not natural. He didn't say that though as he peered at Anakin.

He furrowed his brows when Anakin described how he had saved Luke. He couldn't imagine his own father doing that- if anything Brendol would have sacrificed his son without a second thought to save his own sorry hide. He had never heard of a parent actually choosing to sacrifice their life for their child's.

"So he kept you alive because of your power. Because he could use it." He wasn't surprised by that, stories of the Emperor's cruelty were well-known. He doubted that Sidious would have done that for Vader's well-being. "Some say you killed Sidious- other stories claim Luke did it. But he died on the Death Star."

And he was sure that Snoke was keeping Ren alive and near for his power as well. And like Sidious, Hux knew that Snoke became disposable at the hands of his apprentice.

Being part machine was agonizing on organic tissue. Anakin now had memories of the parts being attached to his nerves, his tendons, his muscles and his bones. Losing consciousness would have been a blessing, but he was too stubborn for that.

"He told me that I killed Padmé. I assumed the baby died with her." his tone was broken and angry, "I intervened for Luke and I..." he flexed his fingers, "I threw Sidious to his death."

If Hux ever needed to see evidence of the power of a loving parent, Anakin - Vader - was a living example.

"Luke...begged. He called for me. I felt like I was awake for the first time in years." and he did what he had longed to do the first time he had seen Sidious's true, awful self.

Hux couldn't help but stare for a moment. After all the horror stories he had heard about Vader, the frightening holos he had watched, it turned out that he was a man who had thrown a Sith Lord to his death for the sake of his son.

His confusion was clear as he took a moment to process it before taking a deep breath. This was a subject that he had no way to even begin to understand.

"What does it mean- your eye color. I've never seen that happen with Ren," he asked after a moment. He was sure it was something to do with the Dark Side, he knew Anakin was immesely powerful but he felt in no danger at the moment.

Anakin tried to settle himself by breathing deep, but there was still a cold sweat on his skin. He felt like he was doomed - trapped - no matter what he did from this point forward. Hux couldn't help him; Hux couldn't save him - and neither could his family. What use was his struggling? What good had he done?

He frowned, confused at the question. But with a quick shake of his head, he refocused, pulling himself from his depressing thoughts.

"All Siths have it to one degree or another. Ren hasn't fully embraced the Dark Side." which he now felt was a metaphor for going completely insane. Ren needed to stay away from the Dark or he risked becoming just like him.

Edited 2018-07-23 01:05 (UTC)

It seemed like the change in topic had settled Anakin down a little. It was the same tactic he often employed with Ren to get his mind off of something or at least distract him for a moment.

"Do you think he will?" Hux knew Ren fairly well but he didn't know the Force. His knowledge of it was limited- he had never really made an effort to understand the Force before but he felt something strange when he thought of Ren right now, when he saw Anakin- he felt something strange that he didn't understand.

There was a long moment of silence before he looked away. "Do you want something to eat? There is also coffee if you want some."

"I don't know." he settled back, resting his arms on his legs, "It's his choice and once he makes it, he can't go back. Right now, he's...in-between. I know it hurts him to be pulled in two directions, so it's inevitable that he will have to choose."

Anakin was frightened for Ren's sake. If his grandson chose the Dark, he might be as miserable as him; if he chose the Light, he didn't know what might happen to him.

"I...haven't slept." he admitted softly, "Since it happened, I mean. Coffee might be a bad idea."

Even great heroes or Sith Lords needed sleep. However...

"Food sounds good. I'm sorry about this, Hux." he knew the other man wasn't technically good, but maybe that was the very reason he felt he might understand him better.

Hux listened intently as he leads the way into the kitchen. He wasn't sure if he had any influence over which side Ren did choose. Or what he would want Ren to choose. He knew he wasn't one of the 'good guys' and had no place in the Light Side. But at the same time...

He pushed those thoughts out of his mind. "There is nothing to be sorry for," he said, stopping to look at Anakin. Anakin had done so much for him for reasons that Hux was still figuring out. He was still learning a lot but he was trying to do what he could, the best he could.

"You are welcome here anytime, I know Ren agrees," he said as he opened the fridge. Eli was working but had left salad and some cut up vegetables for snacks but he would pass on that. Instead, he closed his fridge and went to the cabinet where he pulled out a package of chocolate chip cookies he had stashed in a place Vanto didn't know about.

Both Sides had their strengths and their weaknesses. Anakin was one of the few who had - would - tread both at different points in his life. What did he have to show for it? Loss. Misery. Confusion. Maybe he should have stayed in the Light Side all along.

"I didn't know where I was walking." he rose from the couch and followed Hux, seeming somehow taller than his already impressive height. Darkness was clinging to him, giving him an aura of impending doom. You didn't need to be Force attuned to sense it either.

"You like sweets?" his lips twitched, almost smiling. It was the simple things that seemed to bring him back to Earth more often than not. He was here for a reason; he had to believe that.

"At least you didn't end up somewhere worse," he remarked as he found a plate as he brought the cookies to the table. He didn't feel uneasy even with the aura in the room-if anything he was used to such things. Ren didn't exactly radiate light.

"I do- one of my few indulgences," he admitted as he put some of the cookies on the plate before offering it to Anakin. How strange his life had become here, finding himself in his pajamas, in the kitchen in the middle of the night having cookies with Darth Vader.

"You're welcome to stay here- I'm not sure when Ren will be home but there are spare blankets and a spare bedroom."

"I would feel bad for those I encountered, actually." he was armed and in a piss poor mood. Anakin's morality radar was also dangerously askew. But since he was amongst those he could trust, he wasn't quite a menace - except where the cookies might be concerned.

"I don't blame you." he made a soft amused sound and took the plate, biting into a cookie. The sugar was nice and it immediately helped him feel less weak.

"Yeah..." his brow furrowed, "I'd like to see Ren. I've got so much to teach him. The galaxy really doesn't need a second Vader."

Hux didn't have to ask what Anakin would have done in that case.

"You should stay the night then. He sometimes comes home late," he said as he set the plate when he sat down at the kitchen table, a cookie in hand. Out of all the options, he figured he trusted Anakin more than anyone else to help Ren.

But it seemed that Anakin was less unsettled at the moment. "He looks up to you more than anyone else. I have no doubt he will listen."

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