[closed] HONEY, I'M HOME

[itistolaugh]

WHO: Harley Quinn and Jonathan Crane
WHERE: Their home
WHEN: Sometime before this post
WHAT: A BEAUTIFUL REUNION
WARNINGS: None expected

[ Dramatically kicking down her own front door really loses the impact when nobody is in the front room and she has to go looking through the house to find her intended audience. By the time she finds Crane in one of the mansion's studies (and just WHERE is all the bespoke glitter decor she lovingly displayed before she was ported out?), Harley is barely feeling the momentum anymore. ]

Hey nerd, didja miss me? PS the front door was already broken when I got here.

Comments

[restingstitchface]

[The event passes with Crane hardly acknowledging her presence - not ignored but avoided. He barely manages to keep himself from turning his back when she intrudes into his study. Having nobody around after being alone for a few months, he feels more comfortable giving her the cold shoulder, all the time not giving her eye contact.

Even his voice sounds remote, like he's lecturing someone else.]

I know your patients did.

[itistolaugh]

"I know your patients did."

[ Repeating his words back at him in a mocking tone: the ultimate power move.

She throws her arms around his shoulders and leans her full weight against him. Pay! Attention! ]

So what'd I miss? Go on any hot dates?

[restingstitchface]

[No reaction.

If anything, he seems to react favorably. Rests his right hand on her shoulder thoughtfully and lets his words roll off his tongue.]

It is nice that you have such faith in me but let's keep this realistic.

[itistolaugh]

[ She has two and a half months of trolling to catch up on. She will not be deterred by the bare minimum of human contact. ]

Good, then I'm still the only woman in your heart! Well, me 'n' Carrie.

[restingstitchface]

[He carefully avoids giving her any attention whatsoever as he turns to his desk and browses a few of the books he's selected. There wasn't much concern he could muster for her jokes today, if at all, and he doesn't look like his heart skips a beat as he turns and files one back on the shelf.]

I think that might be why I want to kill myself.

[itistolaugh]

[ She rolls her eyes and readjusts her hold on him. They are cuddling now. He is being cuddled. There is no way out. ]

Pff, you do not. You're far too in love with your own genius.

C'mon, say you missed me!

[restingstitchface]

Oh, what do they say? "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

[He says placidly, not letting her affect him. For he means it literally. His heart grows fonder for her absence.]

[itistolaugh]

It's cryptic and probably snide, but I'll take it.

[ She kisses him on the cheek. HA HA THEY ARE FRIENDS. ]

What about the babies? Do you miss them too? Guess where Lou is right now it's your bed!

[restingstitchface]

[He wipes his cheek with the back of his sleeve.]

Will you stop lying? It's very unbecoming.

[itistolaugh]

Why would I lie about Lou on your bed? If I was gonna lie about where he is I'd say something way more interesting like, I dunno, flying a spaceship or running for Congress.

[restingstitchface]

Because it's funny?

[He is used to being the butt of the joke???]

[itistolaugh]

Okay, yeah, that's a good reason to lie. But a hyena on your bed isn't exactly a comedy goldmine, just a fact of life.

[restingstitchface]

Yes, my life. One that is separate from your own, no matter the self-help poppycock you believe. [A beat.] Oh, whatever. I'm returning to work.

[Maybe these are feelings? Who knows?]

[itistolaugh]

[ She disengages just so she can lie across his desk. ]

Whatcha workin' on? Talk to meeeeee!

[restingstitchface]

[Crane actually pays her attention for a second - from the corner of his eye - before he absconds to the landing. Oh, sure, he's left his papers there, and he knows how they're scattered against the grain, but he's having none of it as he adjusts his hands to be behind his back. There are memories flying about of him standing like this in an older, more decrepit building, and they're starting to divert his attention.]

[itistolaugh]

[ Harley huffs and rolls off the desk with a dramatic flail so she can follow him. She has to stand on her toes to rest her chin on his shoulder and lock her arms around his waist. ]

Whaaaaaat? What is it? You're being extra you today. Is it cuz you missed me and don't wanna admit it?

[restingstitchface]

[He moves a little and in one quick movement grabs the handrail with a tight squeeze. His fingernails then dig into the grain, but he does manage to keep his frustration pressed down inside.]

At the moment, I'm not sure.

[itistolaugh]

Awww, someone's a grumpy bear!

[ She squeezes him around the middle and makes kissy noises in his ear. There is no dignity left in this house. It is gone, dead forever. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Disappointingly, he refuses to respond. He turns away in a gentlemanly fashion and, back against the stairwell, glances from hall to hall, downstairs and upstairs, like he is searching for something.

With those noises further away now, he manages to show interest in one aspect of her life.]

Where's Lou?

[itistolaugh]

Your room. He couldn't wait to get his stink on all your stuff!

[restingstitchface]

[...]

Oh, to believe I just had the whole place fumigated!

[Aaaand off he goes in search of his real BFF.]

[itistolaugh]

[ Lou is indeed getting his stink on all of Crane's stuff, currently the bed linens which have been carefully pulled off the bed and re-appropriated as den materials under the mattress. One pillow has already been consumed. He whoops happily at Crane, clearly very proud of himself. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Crane tries not to look too disappointed. One of his eyebrows rise and then he crosses his arms; decides to leave the linen where it is and begins thinking about appropriating another room.]

You know, there's another ten rooms where you could have done that.

[Oh, hell! Why is he talking to an animal? Is this his life, now?]