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WHO: Jonathan Walsh and Hange
WHERE: Heropa Park, near a lakey, swampy area where alligators like to chill
WHEN: A Saturday Afternoon
WHAT: Picnic with the alligators!
WARNINGS: Bad ideas that you should not try at home. Or anywhere else.

An afternoon of sitting around watching alligators chomp down ground beef while snacking on food and enjoying a warm, humid day sounded wonderful to Jonathan, so he happily agreed to meet up with Hange here. Showing up with a cooler filled with ground beef for the alligators in one hand and a basket containing chicken, biscuits, mac and cheese (that he clearly got at a fast food place and just put in a basket) as well as a few cans of soda, he is clearly ready for this. Some might think it's a bad idea to go somewhere where alligators were regularly seen with a whole bunch of meat, but Jonathan figures he can handle them. His only regret, he thinks, is that he wore his jogging shoes. With each squelching step as he walks on the water-logged soil, he realizes he's going to have to clean these shoes very thoroughly before he can go for another run in them.

The second he spots Hange, he gives her a huge grin and sets down the basket so he can wave enthusiastically.

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Hange came loaded with supplies too, though she's light on picnic gear and heavy on raw meat. She's actually carrying a cooler full of the stuff, which she removed from its containers and piled on in. They'll have plenty of chunks to throw to the alligators.

"Hello, there! I'm so glad that you brought this idea up! I can't wait to see the alligators!"

Is Hange worried in the slightest about what might happen? NO.

"I know! This is going to be awesome!"

He found a log in a (slighty) less mucky spot and sat down on it, setting down his basket and cooler before opening the latter and taking out a small glob of meat before flinging it into the water.

"I figure we should get a little bit of the meat in the water so the smell can attract them."

Then, wiping his hands off on his pants, he pulled out a piece of fried chicken and a soda and started eating.

"And now, we wait. But probably not too long. There's alligators everywhere around here."

She splashes through the muck without a care and joins him on the mossy log. It's all fun and games, at least until one of them loses a limb. To be honest, though, Hange hardly has a care in the world; she can survive and bounce back from a lost limb in her current circumstances, and she'd save her new friend along the way.

"May I?" She's reaching for a piece of chicken too. "You brought a picnic! So generous! You shouldn't have!"

She'll toss some raw meat in the water once she finishes this piece of chicken.

"Sure, help yourself!" He did, after all, bring it for the both of them. "I figured it would be nicer if we had something to eat while we were waiting for the alligators to show up."

As he was starting to eat some of the chicken, he spotted movement in the distance. At first it looked like a log drifting on the water, but then he noticed something...off about how it was drifting.

"Hey, I think there's one showing up already!"

"I owe you one. I'll treat you sometime." And she will. Hange is fair like that.

The prospect of a gator distracted Hange immediately, though. Her head turned round, scanning for the gator.

"Where? Where?"

She's practiced at picking out aberrant titans and weak links from a crowd, but a gator that mostly resembles a log? She needs a hand.

"Right there," he said, pointing. "Here, this will make it easier."

Jonathan reached down, getting a handful of meat before flinging it out, tossing it at the alligator. The alligator quickly lifts its head, snapping the meat out of the air.

"Oh! Oh!"

Hange claps her hands together and then clasps them under her chin, leaning forward, grinning hugely.

"I see it! Hello precious! Hello darling! Come closer, over here!"

Now speaking in a tone of gushing babytalk, Hange pops the cooler open and grabs a hunk of ground meat to toss into the water between them and the crocodile, slightly closer to the croc. The beast swims closer...

"Now remember, we probably don't want it swimming too close." Despite the warning, Jonathan was still grinning. He was sure he could handle it if the alligator did get close, but he figured it would be an upsetting end to the evening if he accidentally killed an alligator with his acid blood.

Hange is feeling ridiculously confident, between her titan shifting and her botanokinesis. He's probably right though... she wouldn't want to kill one of these magnificent beasts without good reason either!

"Surely that isn't too far... yet..."

Please, Jonathan, be the sensible one in this outing.

The crocodile snaps down the meat in one bite. Hange leans forward and makes more cooing noises. "Aren't you handsome? Aren't you precious? You're so big! You're so well-camouflaged! You're so stroooong!"

While Jonathan absolutely agreed that the alligator was handsome, precious, big, well-camouflaged and strong, the cooing seemed like...an odd choice. He stared at her a moment, before just accepting that yes, Hange cooing over an alligator that was edging toward being worryingly close was a fact of the reality he was in at the moment.

"Right. Well. If it gets any closer, we could throw meat behind it. Then we'll get to see it's powerful swishing tail better."

"Oh... wonderful idea!"

Redirection works so well with her. In fact, Hange grabs another handful of raw meat from the cooler and does just as he suggested.

Look there... is that another pair of eyes surfacing above the water? It looks like they've captured the interest of another leviathan.

Oh, look. There's another one. Jonathan decides to keep an eye on it for a moment to assess whether it's going for them or will be satisfied with the meat they were throwing farther out. Reaching into the cooler, Jonathan threw another handful of meat, aiming for even further out than Hange's last throw. Maybe they could lead the alligators away with that method. If the alligators seemed to start focusing on them and not the thrown meat, however, he was going to insist on them leaving.

Hange thinks to check behind them. Then she nudges Jonathan.

"Hey. Is that one more?"

She looks around. Confidence aside, she's a trained soldier and can be sensible...

"They're beginning to surround us... should we move to higher ground...?"

"Yeah...yeah, that is one more."

And finally, thankfully, she showed sense.

"We definitely should," he said, gathering his picnic and starting to head toward safer grounds, keeping an eye on her to make sure she didn't fall behind.

Sweet Jonathan... Hange falls behind almost immediately. She's following him, but turning around to look at the alligators is slowing her down.

"Do you think we've gained enough high ground? We could feed them more from here."

"Um..." He looked. How fast could they be? Their legs looked pretty short. Still...

"Let's just go a little farther."

"Mmm..."

What they both don't know: alligators can be so fast. Even with those stubby legs.

Still, Hange follows her friend.

"How about now? We're at the top of the bluff, they'd have to run uphill to get us!"

"Yeah, I think this should be safe."

After all, how quickly could these creatures possibly get up hill? Jonathan opened the cooler of meat again, flinging another piece as far as he could.

"Ha ha ha! Whoooo! Ha ha ha ha!"

Hange grabs up a couple gobs of raw meat and starts hurling them down the slope. Eat, pretties! Eat! She's prepared to go nuts, here!

Jonathan, oblivious to the fact that alligators can climb, joins in, eagerly throwing meat himself.

"Look at them go!"

Any sign that they can get to them is not readily apparent, as the alligators are too busy focusing on the meat being thrown their way.

"They're such good swimmers! Swim, my preciouses, swim!"

Hange has no fear in her. They'll be just fine, because if worst comes to worst, she'll shift to Titan form, grab Jonathan in her hands, and fucking book it.

There are five alligators swarming in the swamp below them now... five big, big alligators...

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