maskormenacelogs | hugh mann? don't know him [closed]

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hugh mann? don't know him [closed]

WHO: smol and tol
WHERE: some grocery store in maurtia falls
WHEN: grunts
WHAT: riptide and martin could both use more non-human friends...
WARNINGS: sad bois

[as much as riptide enjoys getting free food and endless pizza, sometimes he ventures out into the terrifying warzone of... convenience stores. sometimes it's nice to have something else, especially when he's staying human for extended periods of time.

not to mention... it feels like the right thing to do. he's staying with poe and while he isn't eating poe's food, bringing some nice communal things seems polite.

only... after a year, riptide still isn't sure how human foods work and what you eat when.

the logical thing to do here is to ask, of course. too bad riptide asks the wrong person.]

Hey, [he says, looking over to the kid closest to him. he's holding a bottle of hot sauce.] Is this a drink or a condiment? They haven't labeled it properly...

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[Anderson's a pretty smart lady: she's kept the list concise, even included a little picture of the brand or thing she specifically asks for. it makes this errand a bit less nerve-wracking...but still slow and careful as ever, because he doesn't dare try and mess up. he doesn't wanna let her down, even for a mundane thing like this!

so here he is, picking up items and trying to suss out if they match the labels on his list, when an entirely different item is brought into his field of view. he startles, pineapple sunglasses dropping down the bridge of his nose as he backs away, gawking between it and the...very....tall, tall person with the weird hair addressing him.

him.

why.

does he...look like he knows things?]

Uh! Su...sorry? What? What is this?

[he wiggles the bottle a little.]

This. I know how fond you humans are of both your sauces and your bottled drinks, so I can't tell.

[what-? "you humans"???

he grimaces, keeping his hands to himself, list clutched close.]

I'm-- I'm sorry, I'm not... I mean, I don't know. I'm not...not a human, so I...

[nani]

Oh. Sorry?

[he's interested now, though.]

You look like one... hey, are you an imPort? Like, one that got forced to look human?

I-I... [he turns away from the shelf, fumbling.] I always look this way, sir. Sorry? I...I'm not from here. I just...look like a person...

[he sticks his tongue out, blowing a razzberry. something he can't do in his natural form.]

I'm not from here either.

[he shrugs, putting the hot sauce back, pulling something else off the shelf to look at it.]

This place is dumb. Humans are dumb. Why do all the hot sauce bottles look like drinks?

[he jolts, taken aback by the gesture. it's very...childish. but this...person??? is like...ten feet tall...]

You...you're not? Not human...? [maybe that's why his hair is weird.] What are you?

I'm like the exact opposite! [he says with a laugh.

--no, he's not a darkov.] Cybertronian. I'm not even from this planet. What planet are you from? Maybe I'll know your system...

[blink.

what a weird name... Martin's sure he'll never remember it on first hearing.]

Um. Ol-olvoski? [grimace.] It's...it's a country...

[what a weird name... riptide's sure he'll never remember it on first hearing.]

Never heard of it. Ah, well. [he tosses a bottle of sweet and sour sauce into his basket.] D'you need any help with your shopping?

Uh, no, I... [he hesitates, then holds out the paper.] I was given a list... I just. I just have to find what the pictures show, and then hand over the, uh, pay-card, and...and that's it. [according to Anderson. he believes her. otherwise this'll be a stressful day.

more stressful.]

Yeah, that's the basics of how shopping works.

[...]

--W...wait, they're not making you do the shitty boring stuff for them because you're not human or anything, are they?

N-no? [he shrinks a little at the tone shift.] No, I...I asked to help...I mean--I don't really do much of anything anyway, so...

Yeah, I guess there's only really a bunch of human stuff to do around here?

[he snorts.]

C'mon, I'll come with you. Primus knows I could do with knowing more alien races.

[huh??? he blinks, surprised by the offer.]

A-are you sure? I mean...what about your...your things?

...I'm not gonna leave 'em here. I'm not done looking, anyway.

[...]

I could probably make them give all those to you for free, y'know. I'm famous.

Famous? [he looks him up and down again.] What...um. What do you mean?

I did some stupid stuff now everyone knows me! Literally, like-- [a pause.

some poor soul enters the isle that had previously just had martin and riptide. riptide calls over to him.]

Hey! You want an autograph?

[the guy looks astounded for a few moments, then... shakily pulls out a notepad and pen. riptide, magnanimous as he is, signs it then gives it back. the poor guy continues on his way, clearly still confused.]

See? I've never seen that guy in my life, but he knew me well enough to be okay with letting me write something dumb on his notepad.

[this is the weirdest thing Marty has ever seen that doesn't involve someone dying or being injured. he observes from a safe distance, putting Riptide between himself and the perplexed passerby, inadvertently exchanging looks with the poor sap as this exchange occurs.

Riptide's explanation does very little to clear things up, too: what's an autograph, why does this mean he's famous, and...is that a good thing or a bad thing? so many questions.

yet there's Riptide, all proud and stuff, looking back at him like he ought to have a reaction to this. what reaction. Martin looks a little queasy.]

Oh, um... [UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH] Is...is that good, then? Is that important to do? I mean-- sorry. I...I don't really know...

Yeah. I think.

[he shrugs.]

It confuses me, too, but I can do mostly whatever I want because of it, so... [he grins.] Discount on your shopping! Maybe. Are you getting anything for yourself, or just those humans?

Huh? No, I-- [he frowns, looking down at his list.] A-Anderson asked me for what I wanted, too...even though I don't really know much about what's around. I don't cook or anything.

You eat, though, right?

[riptide looks around. gets a good idea.]

Come with me a sec.

Yes, of course, I--oh. Um? Al-alright... [he hesitates before hastening to fall into step behind this guy's long-leggy stride.]

[riptide leads martin to a very colourful isle... the candy one. he stops by one of the giant bags of marshmallows.]

These. Take one. These were the first ones I had when I was in this form. They're good.

What are they...? [obediently, he bends down and pulls a bag off the basket on the shelf.] They're-- why are they so soft?

They're nice.

[he shrugs.]

Nice and soft. You eat them.

[he gives the bag a cursory sniff. it's hard to tell, what with it being in the aisle full of chocolates and sweets, but...it seems fine. and besides, Anderson did say he could pick anything else out he might want... technically this isn't his want, but. it'd be rude to refuse a proper recommendation, right?

with a little sound, he puts it in his shopping basket, nodding, double-taking just a couple feet down upon spying a bag that looks vaguely familiar. the candies Anderson shoved at him to go and make friends, maybe? huh...

he blinks, then shakes his head of it, picking his list back up and holding it out to Riptide.]

I still need these, though.

[eggs, sausage, cheese, bread...breakfast food at Maurtia Falls #10.]

[riptide crouches down and cocks his head as he reads.]

I know where those are. Those are like-- basic human food. [he points down the isle to the refrigerated dairy section, where the milk and chees resides.] D'you know they got like ten different times of all of those? It's crazy. I could only eat one thing before I got here.

Oh, I... [he speaks through his exhale, shaking his head:] I can't keep track of, of any of it myself... There's too much.

[he stares down at the open cooler full of blocks of cheese.]

...Way, way too much. But...maybe this is enough for people...

[he scratches his cheek absentmindedly as he grabs a block of mature cheddar.]

There. It's pretty much all the same, anyway. As far as I can tell, anything actually different is expensive and you have to get it from elsewhere.

Really? [that sounds complicated. he frowns down at the block of cheese tossed in his basket. aside from color and label, what's even the difference...?

probably apparent if he could read the labels better.]

So it won't be bad if I don't pick the exact one on the list?

I mean...

[riptide shOULD NOT BE TALKING TO THIS CHILD]

They probably won't notice anyway.

[how fortunate this is a boy not satisfied by anything but Absolutes. and while he doesn't want to ruffle Riptide with his hesitations and possibly be annoying for it, he doesn't wanna disappoint Anderson!!

showing Rip the list again:]

Can we look for this one anyway? Just...just in case. I mean, I wouldn't have a good excuse if I came back with the wrong one. I don't know anything.

[he shrugs and puts the block back.]

Yeah, sure. What one is it they want?

This...

[instead of just passing the crinkled paper back and forth again and again, he just...sets it in the box of cheeses next to all of them. because that way it'll be easier to spy the right one.]

I don't know which is more important, though. The words or the colors, I mean. I...don't think that part matters, as long as it just...looks like it...

Alright.

[he looks over the paper, then back to the cheese, scanning through them for the right one. it's at the back, because of course it is.]

Why'd they give you pictures?

[this is actually pretty convenient: Riptide's got really long arms, and had it been Martin alone, this would've been a much longer, more pathetic search.

he holds the basket out to receive correct cheese.]

S-so I get the right one. It's better if I see what it looks like, since I don't really know how to read well enough to figure it out on my own...

[riptide glances over to martin for a moment.]

I get that. I can't read very well without the translator I have in my head. Which I don't have as a flesh person.

[that'll surely make sense.]

Well, don't worry about it. [he dumps the cheese into the basket.] What's next?

[what? really? someone else can't...?

Marty looks at him with a new beat of curiosity, broken by the thunk in his basket. he blinks, looking at his list.]

U-uh, this-- The milk? This here...

The green cap?

[he reaches up to get a big jug of it, then holds it out to martin.]

It's heavy.

[he grunts a little in adjusting for the weight, but it's fine. he got it. he's small, but he's got some muscle hiding under those sleeves! he mumbles a thank-you before checking the contents in his basket with what's depicted on the list set out in the basket.]

...I...I think that's all of it, actually... [blink.] But what about your things?

[he picks up his own basket from where he'd put it at his feet before dealing with the milk. definitely not something that i forgot to mention...]

What about 'em?

Oh, I-- [glancing down the aisle, frowning:] I only meant if...if you weren't done finding your own things, you shouldn't spend all your time helping me...

Nah, I'm done.

[he shrugs, hooking his basket on his arm.]

Let's get this done.

Ye-yessir.

[he turns, but waits for Riptide to take the lead. being the follower is the default, and especially to someone so damn tall... taller than Bruce! and Rex! it's very strange.

strange that he was able to see him, short as he is, he realizes...]

[he's learned to be wary of things around him in his natural form-- it's a habit that carries into human. let's just be quietly pleased martin wasn't stood on.]

Cool. And don't call me sir, I hate it. [to official... and he's not someone that people ever deferred to, nor does he ever want to be.] Though I guess that means you have some kinda pecking order back home...

[pls tell him more nonhuman friend hes so tired of humans all the time]

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hugh mann? don't know him [closed]

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im using robot icons but hes still human

just frickin blasts thru the ceiling of the store as a robo it's fine

WELCOME TO HELL MARTY

hell has lots of different brands of cereal

wrong it has one and it's nutrigrain

bad timeline

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