I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring

[restingstitchface]

WHO: Crane, open.
WHERE: Nonah and De Chima.
WHEN: Last week of April.
WHAT: Setting up private practice and other things.
WARNINGS: Scarecrow levels of pettyness.

Nonah: Dr Crane is the BEST Doctor I have ever had.... period.

[The month passes with Crane spending the entire week seeking clarity and solace in psychological study and his private practice. By Saturday night, subtle advertisements of the latter by print and word have worked their way around the Porter cities. He actually discovers how much he dislikes the game of being plagued by having his doorbell rung by children who scarely know what to do with themselves in the afternoon. Some he catches and politely tells they should be in school. He doesn't seem convinced by adults indulging in the behavior who he tells seek help.

By Wednesday morning, he feels ready to tackle any visitor who comes with questions and suspicions. His usual attire hangs easier, slips away from his skin without being taut at his shoulders and his wrists - rather, he looks like he's not stuffed in at the seams. Something he has rarely done, some might realize. He smiles wanly and leads them upstairs into an office, where he takes a seat at his desk and leaves them free to choose the settee or the chair. Some he keeps his silence for, leaving them to find their words. Others he takes the lead on, and he prompts how can I help. He watches their movements, taking note of how languid they are, how controlled. He keeps the window closed and leaves it for them to choose how to react to the heat. So helpful he appears to some that he offers them water. Others he keeps dry enough with a glass just beyond reach on his desk.

How will they ask for it?]


De Chima: He is very knowledgeable, respectful, and caring.

[Crane finds his audience scholastically on other days, though the heat burns the attitudes of those forced into the university's auditorium, stuck there for what feels like an eternity to hear him speak. Sweat trickles down their necks, heat sapping the air from their lungs, which burn and cry for oxygen for the next two hours. It might not surprise some that Crane keeps his suit tucked and buttoned as he speaks as much as he can about The Psychopharmacology of Violence. Occasionally, he stops and gingerly runs a finger under the hem of his cardigan as he fields questions from the audience. The heat is near enough to make people feel tired, so very, very tired, but he keeps his voice focused and sharp. How can they possibly remember anything, he thinks, if he sounds so exhausted?

The lecture comes to an end and he gulps water, some of it splashing on his chin. He manages to swallow it without a splutter as people approach him with introductions and shows only the mildest expression on his face as the heat makes him dream.]

Comments

Nonah

[fireandhoney]

[It's been a while since Finn's spoken to Dr. Crane, which was just shortly after he arrived, no less. Finn knows that Lucien visited Dr. Crane in a dream, which the Dragonborn found very interesting. He wouldn't have guessed that the doctor has murdered someone. Maybe more than just one person.

So he made an appointment, both to have another chat, and see just what it was a 'psychologist' did. His world has no such profession.

Once inside the office, Finn takes a seat on the settee, setting down his artist satchel next to him.]

So, how does this work?

[restingstitchface]

[An artist? Fascinating.

His curiosity continues for several moments, but the low, constant pressure of needing to utter something becomes a troublesome weight that he figures will be better off his shoulders.]

Well, we conduct a careful examination of the multiple causes of the dilemmas that brought you here, because it is important to quantify the severity and extent of your problems, isn't it? We discuss your concerns, in your own words I might add, and form an opinion of each other that will color any further interaction... if you choose to return, that is. That isn't all of it, but it's a start.

[His tone contains a measure of warmth but still has a remoteness to it.]

[fireandhoney]

[So far he seems innocuous enough. Yet he knows better than anyone that an innocuous nature can hide certain darker traits. But he came for another reason, of course.]

Where do I even start?

[He starts fiddling with his ring. There's nothing special about it, he just saw it at a store and he liked it. It's silver, with a skull on top.]

I've been through a lot since I was brought here. I hallucinated something that terrifies me not long after I arrived, and then there was a doppelganger of me running around last week. It's all been pretty overwhelming, to put it lightly.

[restingstitchface]

[Shockingly, Crane's face is emotionless.

He folds his arms over his chest and tilts his head, making himself look almost casual. Whether Finn wants to discuss his ring or not is immaterial; he will mention it later.]

That's the case for all of us. Life is overwhelming. All of us have been through a lot, really, so what exactly makes you believe you have it so difficult that you needed to come here?

[fireandhoney]

Well, the thing of it is, my double tried to kill my best friend, which is already disturbing. I mean, the way he described it, it was acting like...

[More fiddling his his jewelry, searching for the right words.]

See, one of my mentors back in my world said that since I have a dragon's soul, that means I have some innate desire to cause destruction and conquer. The way my friend described my double, it was acting like it had given in to those desires. And I just can't help but think if that means anything or not.

[restingstitchface]

[Crane folds his hands in his lap.]

Of course it does. Do you believe we exist only as one personality? That we play only one role in the world? You present yourself in a manner that makes you seem more desirable to impress, say, a friend. The greater emphasis a society places on social interaction, the more you lose your own individuality to this presentation. You might have what you claim, but that doesn't mean you're not still handling a very human problem.

[fireandhoney]

[It's true. He does sometimes go out of his way to impress Lucien, or impress others with the whole Dragonborn thing. Even if Lucien has said that he doesn't need to.]

I'd always told myself that even if I do have those innate desires, I have a good handle on them. After all, back in my world I was something of a hero. But now I have an idea of what I might become if I ever did lose myself to that side of me. It's, well... scary.

[restingstitchface]

[After a few moments, he casually inspects his fingernails. Purposefully, he doesn't say, because it was an action intended to gauge a reaction. It's the simplicity of his next question that's perhaps more difficult.]

Why?

[He knows why. The entire point is to hear it in his words.]

[fireandhoney]

[Are all psychologists this blase? Crane seems almost indifferent, or at least impartial to what Finn just confessed.]

Because... because if I ever did become like that, I would turn my back on everything I care about and stand for. I would hurt the people I love.

[Lucien said his double turned its back on the Dark Brotherhood. Him, the Listener.]

I'm not a saint, and I've done questionable things. But my friend's story was a harsh reminder that the darker side of being Dragonborn is still there.

[restingstitchface]

I see.

[When Crane lowers his fingers he looks at Finn for a second. His face is expressionless down to the muscles. He looks somewhat removed from the reality they exist in because that's professional - more so than acting like they're chums.

He clears his throat and remarks about Finn's problem after a bit.]

You seem to have a problem with accepting both sides are part of the whole.

[He says observantly.]

[fireandhoney]

[It's funny, because he can accept being the leader of the Dark Brotherhood. Yet he can't accept this.]

I suppose. Still, now I'm worried that what my friend saw could be a possible future for me. I mean, if something happened to me that just made me give in, you know.

[He's had bad days, sure. He's had some really bad days. But he seems to be forgetting that. He didn't give in after everybody in the Sanctuary was killed, or when he was nearly executed upon first arriving in Skyrim.]

[restingstitchface]

[If something happened to me. It's the worst excuse he's ever heard. He tilts his head slightly, eyes half closing on the side. He even makes a small hmm.]

You speak as though the causes of all your ills lie in the outside world. [His tone is mildly skeptical.] Everything your friend saw. If something happened to you. You know you have more personal agency than you realize?

[fireandhoney]

[Finn knows Crane's words make sense. Last week's events haven't exactly made him think rationally.]

I know. I mean, I guess if that was at all possible, it would have happened by now.

[restingstitchface]

I suppose.

[He changes his entire posture to be resting the other way, and crosses his leg to match.]

Question is, would it have happened because of you?

[fireandhoney]

I... don't know.

[Finn starts playing with his hands again, alternating between lacing his fingers and fiddling with his ring.]

I also kind of hate how my friend was put in a position where he had to kill me, even if it wasn't really me.

[restingstitchface]

[Crane nods once or twice while questioning who his friend is; to be able to kill so easily.]

I'm not wrong to say that he did so for any reason, am I? It sounds like it must have been an extraordinary one. Were you in danger?

[Murder has motive, right?]

[fireandhoney]

He said my double was going to use my power on him, so it was self-defense.

[That and he said the double insulted the Night Mother. Finn knows that Lucien doesn't lie to him.]

I mean, I guess it's good to know that he's willing to put down a rogue Dragonborn, even if we are friends.

[And a rogue Listener, for that matter.]

He said he didn't enjoy it, and he'd rather not have to do it again.

de chima

[accelerate]

[ barry hates psychologists. since being pushed to see one after the other and receiving rejection after rejection that the man in yellow had been a real figure that had murdered his mother, he had never quite appreciated the job nor the people who took its post. barry doesn't need his memories to know this, as his gut turns while listening to dr jonathan crane speak. ]

[ he's here out of curiousity ... after all, isn't it a part of his job as a csi to understand the psychology of a man or woman who takes to violence? dr jonathan crane's name being attached to the lecture had been only a bonus in barry's investment to attend the speech. if he paid careful attention because the man before him was a name he recognised ... well, perhaps he did. respect to his fellow import and all. ]

[ after people flitter toward and away from him, it's then barry approaches. possibly the most patient he's ever been, given the fact he's incapable of sitting still these days. hands in his pockets, he smiles, feeling friendly although like he could be potentially walking under a microscope. ] You're the real deal, Dr Crane. I'm glad the heat didn't defeat you like those questions. They don't let up, huh?

[restingstitchface]

[Crane turns around to face Barry while fanning himself with his left hand, feigning being overheated, even as he refuses to loosen his tie and unfasten the collar button in his shirt. He casually rests the bottled water on his lectern and raises one of his eyebrows.]

No, but I've forgotten how difficult it is.

[accelerate]

[ public speaking would most likely not be his own forte — barry tends to ramble when nervous, which is most of the time in front of people he wants to leave a good, sometimes inaccurate impression of himself with — but he wonders if jonathan crane's simply being modest. ]

You did really well. It was one talk I didn't fall asleep in, and I used to watch a lot of Ted Talks. [ ... let's just leave that there. ]

[ barry doesn't need to credit his attention to detail to his occupation as a csi. noting how crane seems to be just a little uncomfortable, he cocks his head to the side. ] It's a bit hot in here. You want to take a break outside? I felt a breeze when I came in. [ over an hour ago, but it's an offered chance to escape. ]

[restingstitchface]

[There were few things he tolerated as angrily as high humidity, due in no small part to the very unpleasant heatwaves he'd toiled under as a child. From the moment he had left his home that morning he had wanted to fall ill enough to turn back home, like many other teachers he could think of. So he tidies his notes and looks at Barry... not thankful exactly, but not ungrateful.]

I hardly need tell you if you lead me outdoors there's no way in hell you're convincing me back in.

[He scoops the papers into his arm and tries bundling them into his bag, telling himself it is just too simple to say yes. His ignorance of Barry's compliment is entirely deliberate - it seems to make him just that little more awkward. Seems.]

[accelerate]

You're assuming I'd want to come back here. Don't they have a saying about that?

[ asses, you and me … something like that. it's all said in good humour, though. barry doesn't elaborate, finding it unnecessary. his desire to stay indoors when he could be out eating a restaurant's whole menu lacks, and only shortens the more time he spends here, in a building with four walls and no menu. ]

[ hands in the pockets of his jacket, he leads the way — at a very nice, normal, human pace. ]

Is it like being back home? Your lectures … It's kind of a different audience, isn't it?

[restingstitchface]

[Crane feels his entire body stiffen, the arm shielding his bag going wooden. Barry is acting warm enough but he is having a hard enough time with him acting like they're equals - friends! - without being repeatedly reminded of his height or lack thereof.

He does his best to keep his tone level and polite and nice.]

Not quite. I used to lecture psychology before-

[Batman.]

Pursuing a more independent line of work. The two audiences are quite alike, I assure you.

[accelerate]

[ barry allen of the comics' earth(s) sends his condolences, dr crane. ]

[ this barry remains none the wiser to any batman interference in his line of work. instead, "an independent line of work" seems a lot like — ] Are you a psychologist now?

[ barry looks at him before he opens the door, allowing crane to go through first if he so wishes to. after all, beanpole allen doesn't have anything important in his hands besides the doorknob, nor any realisation that being friendly may be a little burdensome to someone like crane. they've spoken a few times ... they're acquaintances, right? ]

[ right. ]

[restingstitchface]

I have opened a private practice, yes. The people of Nonah need me.

[Crane stays profesional and calm with his tone. Then he feels his entire body stiffen, though the only discomfort he shows at Barry's gesture is a slight clench in his jaw as he passes by. Then, he is outside. Out, out, out into the heat that feels barely less stifling than the climate indoors.]