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WHO: Newt Geiszler, Hermann Gottlieb
WHERE: The Porter
WHEN: April 18th
WHAT: Reunited and it feels so good.
WARNINGS: SPOILERS FOR PACIFIC RIM UPRISING. Yeah. And not small spoilers either and right off the bat.

Loading Alice onto the back of a truck to be taken to his Marutia Falls apartment (which he guessed he probably shared with someone, damn) was not easy on Newt at all. He missed her as soon as she left his sight and he sent her off with sweet words and a fond wave. But she would find herself at his new home and then he just had to keep her away from potentially dangerous prying eyes.

Speaking of which... He wondered if Hermann was still here.

Part of him hoped so. Maybe they could rekindle their relationship of ten years ago (of yesterday...a marriage that seemed so in the past and yet--). Another part sincerely knew this would be easier if Hermann was absent.

He needed time and he, they, needed resources. Ten years of plotting, of manipulating the pieces--

That Porter would be useful if only he could gain access. Unless things had changed, no amount of government finagling would grant them the access they needed, but perhaps...there were other ways. That bastard had a certain over-interest in the mysteries of the Porter that could be cultivated and used as an advantage. Hermann wasn't entirely without purpose. He was dangerous, but he was also useful. And he had weaknesses, just like Newt.

In fact, he had one very glaring weakness.

...Especially given what a pesky intimacy they had shared here...before. Breaking off that relationship would raise suspicion, so he had to keep Hermann within a moderated closeness.

No, wait, he didn't want to USE Hermann. He was in love with his husband.

And speaking of-- A flutter rose in Newt's chest and a brief moment of vivid clarity as he took off sprinting through the crowd, pushing his way with alarming haste as he spotted a familiar face, thought about warm, tight arms around his middle--the most significant physical contact he had in ages--and a ring, and a promise, and--Hermann, please, I need you to--

"Hermann!"

It was going to be absolutely devastating to tell him everything, though-- Could he tell Hermann? How could that conversation even happen without Newt looking insane...insaner than usual? How could Hermann trust him if he knew...?

How could Hermann LOVE him if he had any idea what Newt had created? What he had done.

He stopped him at the edge of a small plaza, composing himself again, but barely, straightening his vest and shirt into something presentable.

Without the Drift, what could keep them together?

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Hermann turned sharply at the sound of Newton's voice, eyes searching, seeking out the familiar-- there.

"Newton!"

Relief flooded him, happy to see his- his.. two sets of memories warred with one another- drift partner? Yes, that's what he was, even if he noticed they weren't actively drifting this time. And really, the man was looking just as he recalled him only moments ago.

Hermann closed the distance.

"Back again, it seems. Not at the best moment, but I suppose it doesn't matter. Wormholes and the irregular passage of time, such as it is. It almost seems as though it flows faster here, though of course that's a bit impossible to measure without a foot in both dimensions.."

At Hermann's unbridled joy, Newt suddenly felt compelled to straighten out his vest a bit more, picking off some dust that had managed to linger on the designer garment.

Newt felt compelled to tell him that time was relative anyway and who was to say it worked the same way in both dimensions at all? Faster or slower, it was irrelevant. Maybe time simply cherry picked its own behavior and intersections as it saw fit. It seemed like the perfect way to start a good argument and he needed one of those--it had been ages, AGES since his brain really felt alive and sparked with that human interaction...with the thoughts of an equal.

Except not an equal. Hermann rode his coattails into the annals of history.

He waved a hand dismissively at the explanation that really...boring shit, Hermann. You're always a step or two behind.

"Back, yeah. Seems we can't escape the place."

He'd hoped for some form of debate, idle curiosities seeking out a second opinion- something to force him to think through his theories and justify them- but perhaps it wasn't the best moment for idle conjecture after all.

"Well it isn't all bad," he said, amiable and this time hoping not to be contradicted. "This world has its charms, after all."

Or did it? His brain made a belated connection like a sudden punch to the gut. You can finally meet Alice. He stared down at the ground and fidgeted.

"Well that is, if you care for that sort of thing."

In the space of time Hermann's eyes went to his feet, a smile slid over Newt's features. Hermann, the poor sap, was hoping for Newt's affection, but there would be no doe-eyed love from him now, even if he did want to string Hermann along. Yeah, you go ahead and think about it a while. Fret over that one.

"It's alright," he admitted mostly because he didn't want the questions that would come with an immediate, clear rejection. "It's a little warm for my taste."

He glanced up, taking a moment to realize Newton was actually talking about the weather. Either the man had suddenly grown incredibly obtuse, or.. or well, he was probably uncomfortable with that avenue of conversation.

And it was a touch thoughtless, he conceded with a cringe, though not without a healthy dose of accompanying disappointment and yes, jealously. He'd married Newton over ten years ago, but because Newton had a girlfriend- because surely he hadn't gone off and married without at least telling him or sending him an invitation. ..No, Newton wouldn't have passed up the chance to throw a large, tasteless party to celebrate.

"Well, it is Heropa. Where are you stationed? Or living, rather."

He tugged at the ends of his sleeves, still pulled down, and considered rolling them up. Something inside him resisted the habit, though, with perfect clarity. No, he definitely did NOT want to look at Kaiju.

"I haven't looked," he lied with a carefree shrug; lying was a skill that came far more easily these days. Even so, navigating relationships would prove difficult and Newt had been removed from any long-term ones for so long that keeping up appearances was not an especially well-practiced part of the repertoire. Hermann was particularly problematic for a number of reasons, but he remembered he wanted Hermann's help. He liked Hermann's help, didn't he? Hermann was his family, his home; they should be living together...

He thought of his own bedroom, and Alice... He had to protect her from Hermann.

(And maybe, a little, he had to protect Hermann from her.)

"Didn't occur to me when I first arrived that you'd have also left. I just figured we'd have the house again. How long have you been gone?"

"Oh, er-" Hermann consulted his phone for the date. Though, he couldn't recall with clarity the precise date he'd left. "A few months? If you don't recall me leaving, then we must have gone around the same time. And now we're here together again. An interesting phenomenon."

One he both did and didn't want to look into.

"I'm not sure about the legal procedures of reclaiming property, but I fully intend to look into it."

And by the sounds of it, Newton was still interested in living together at least. He stowed the phone away, adorned his glasses, and opened his file.

"Hm.. yes, it looks as though I've been assigned to 'individual housing' in Nonah. Not quite sure what that entails. A single bedroom by the sounds of it."

"If Gold's still here," he supplied, finding it easier to be helpful regarding simple things that were not relationship or emotional issues. Simple things, right, sure. He had to think that, turn it into pure logic and necessity, because living with Hermann was something Newt desperately wanted. And feared. "He used to be a lawyer or something. Ask him."

God, those glasses were nerdy. He loved them. Newt wanted to reach out and toy with their little chain.

Gottlieb looked so stupid wearing them. How could anyone stand to be seen with him?

"Well, we're married." The word felt dull on his tongue, like tasting ash when he wanted it to blossom vibrantly like citrus. He was not looking forward to sharing a bed with Hermann--oh, but he missed him, he missed the smell of his skin, the warmth of his body, the sound of his breath in the quiet of night-- "Stands to reason," he explained, opening his own folder briefly to his Maurtia Falls address but keeping the contents casually away from Hermann to keep up the illusion they had the same address, "that we wouldn't need more. It's not like we have children."

Edited 2018-04-20 23:35 (UTC)

Hermann brightened, hope flaring in his chest. He hadn't known how to feel about it before, but with confirmation, it felt like that love and intimacy was within reach again and he wanted it.

He smiled. "True enough, unless you count our-" He stopped, heart leaping in his chest as realization dawned. "Liebling! Oh god Newton, we left her for months!"

Love and intimacy...Newt wanted it too, sort of, if it didn't drag him down (but did he even deserve it), but the light in his eyes didn't ignight for Hermann.

Instead, it ignited like a spark initiating a blowtorch in a dark room at the mention of Liebling. Their child! Their baby! He had a rise of panic as the word 'baby' conjured up 'infant' and 'offspring' and he pictured a newborn creature choking to death-- What if she starved? What if she choked on her own collar, what if she simply gave up hope of their return?!

He yanked his comm free of a pocket and fretted over a search of De Chima pet shelters, imPort resources, anything he could think of while babbling to Hermann: "Don't you worry, we'll get her back, I'll find her. She's chipped and registered. Someone definitely had to have taken her in when we vanished. We'll find our girl."

Family. The word seemed foreign, supplanted long ago with Hive. But she was his family. He clung to that like a dying man adrift and holding to a lifeboat.

Hermann worried beside him, offering suggestions and fretting. Oh, what if she'd starved to death and they just returned to find her body? The thought was so incredibly upsetting that his eyes threatened to tear up. He began to hope that perhaps she'd managed to escape at least, but then there were other threats to consider.

She was chipped however, so surely they'd find her..

He took to standing with a hand on Newton's shoulder while his husband searched and made calls.

The hand on his shoulder sent his mind into unrest. His body tingled from the contact. Aside from the hug in Shao Industries' hallway, how long had it been since someone human had touched him? Newt subtly leaned into the warm palm he could imagine feeling through the vest.

Oh god. To just feel human again...

He was into his third call by the time anyone could give him information and he could already feel his attention to the task wavering with his frustration. No. Damn it. I need to do this. He described Liebling for what felt like the millionth time, explained who he was and where she would have been found. Newt focused on these details, because to think about Hermann or the significance of Liebling, or to get caught up in his own dampened emotions, would jeopardize his very tentative hold over himself.

"Just off Main in De Chima," he told Hermann after he hung up, smiling at his success at not just in finding her. "She's been there since shortly after we left and they assure me she's in good health. All we need to do is pay for her board and fill out some paperwork, and she's ours," We. Ours. The Collective's. The Hive's. The pronouns tripped him up. "Yours and mine, again."

"Oh, thank God," he said, hand moving from Newton's shoulder to his own chest as he breathed his relief. He'd gotten himself so worked up, he hadn't been able to think about much else.

He managed a smile, straightening. "Well then, seems we've got a stop to make before we settle ourselves in. Poor darling has waited long enough."

Unable to stomach that relieved smile of Hermann's, Newt looked away towards the street where taxis and government-supplied transports parked and idled, waiting for riders.

"Let's go sweep her off her feet, then, and take the princess home."

"Yes, let's." Hermann followed his gaze, then after a side-long glance, moved for the street.

Newton was coming home with him, he reminded himself as he resisted the urge to reach out and take his hand. Somewhere with more comforts than he'd had for the last ten years at the Dome. They could catch up and renegotiate there.

He surprised himself with how desperately he wanted that relationship with Newton again. But really, who didn't want to be loved? He wondered if they'd ever work themselves out in their own world. If Newton hadn't left, then perhaps..

Hermann settled into the back of the taxi.

"We'll get ourselves settled in today, then tomorrow I'll look into reclaiming our property."

The backseat of taxis rekindled all kinds of memories with Hermann, things he wasn't allowed to dwell on long--a fleeting longing for that taxi ride in Hong Kong, or that De Chima ride that had resolved a conflict they didn't realize they were still having-- As soon as Newt wished for a similar heated resolution now, the thought was trampled down and brushed under a proverbial rug.

Maybe it would be easier, a dark, lurking thing in his brain said, if you introduced him to Alice. You could find that connection again. Just the two of you, and Alice, and he would finally understand. He'd be yours again. OURS. Your property to reclaim, Newt, since that's a thing we're doing now.

Except Hermann wouldn't go for it. Hermann would HATE Alice, he knew, he hoped, he'd always dreamed. And while he could MAKE Hermann Drift with her, Newt couldn't ...wouldn't force that upon Hermann. He wouldn't let Them force him to do that to Hermann. He'd resist. He could be strong enough. He could. Still. He had resisted before, years ago, before he lost himself, before he was beaten down. He was strong enough, once. ...Okay. Maybe he hadn't been. He had failed the world and Mako and everyone, yeah, he wasn't strong. But back there, he hadn't had Hermann. He had Hermann here with him now, and if he could just KEEP Hermann (as a friend, as a husband, as a supporter) and keep Hermann SAFE from THEM, then maybe---!!

Hope dulled from a vivid rainbow to dark gray, gloomy skies as a psychological cloud rolled in. He felt numb, drained of all hope and resolve. He traced the stitching on the seat space between them without making eye-contact with Hermann.

"Okay, sounds good."

Hermann glanced at Newton's hand and considered reaching for it. Presumptuous, he supposed, though they were already poised to share a bed this evening. Still, it was likely best not to push too far too quickly. He could be patient.

He fiddled with his cane, casting about for an avenue for conversation that wasn't abput Alice or their relationship.

"I was given a job as a college Algebra instructor," he informed him, incredulous. "I'm not sure if that speaks poorly of the education system or the students themselves."

Yeah, who the hell would hire a washed-out stodgy old mathematician that can only ride a hero's coattails to saving the world, huh?

The was absolutely no resistance when Newt countered that thought with his own: Hermann, you can do better. Aspire for more, buddy.

"So what're you going to do instead?"

He shrugged, having not given it too much thought quite yet.

"I want to get our affairs settled. I can keep an eye out for opportunities of course, but I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Ordinary jobs seem meaningless when you've been working to ensure the safety of the planet for 20 years."

He tried not to sigh. Laying it on thick with the guilt there, Gottlieb. Lucky (or unlucky) for Newt, guilt for abandoning humanity for the Kaiju was barely a dull pain these days. Conditioning had taken the luxury of feeling his emotions almost entirely away from him, or at least altered and severely limited it. Things related to Fighting the Kaiju Cause in particular were an ache Newt could barely recall the weight of.

"Too good for civilian work now?" he teased. Catapulting Newt's fears to the backdrop of his senses, they considered the ramifications of pursuing Gottlieb's assistance in full. "Come on, Hermann. What we need is a lab. Somewhere you and I can literally put our heads together for the, uh, Greater Good."

It would be nice to work with Newton again, so the idea held a fair bit of charm. But the question came down to who they would work for.

"The greater good," he mused. "For imPorts or world governments? Those have been two different things for some time, and only overlap when we're targetted."

"For OUR good," he insisted, because Hermann would be part of the Hive one way or another. "That's what matters, right?"

Humans wanted so badly to be liked and included and wanted. That was how Newton operated, anyway, and surely Gottlieb as well. But they had been going about this all wrong. THEY weren't the sway that would lure Hermann to their side, not as it had been with Newt, wriggling their way into his mind, playing up his insecurities from within. If Hermann's brain was too defensive to relent to their attempted siege, his relationship with Newton would be their passkey behind his walls instead.

After all, he wanted his husband, right?

Hermann frowned, attempting to parse the meanings there. Their personal good? Sure, on a basic level, but the context of employment considerations..?

"I'm not going to take the first contract that throws money at me," he said, and yes, all right, he still wasn't completely over how easily Newton had left him for a higher paycheck. "My work should mean something- and ideally be used for its intended purpose."

"Why should your work mean anything but your own enjoyment and personal growth?" he argued, and though the words were wrong and the sentiment, there was a fire burning deep in his soul and some of Newt's true feelings bled through indistinctly. Arguing with Hermann was his LIFE; he missed it so much that he clung to it. "This world doesn't serve you, Hermann, it doesn't serve any of us. Take from it what you can. You're not required to give back with your job."

His frown morphed into a full glare.

"Some of us haven't been corrupted by corporate greed," he challenged. "Perhaps this world has little to offer me, but what matters is that I feel my work has meaning. You used to understand that."