maskormenacelogs | got the feeling that i could change who i was.

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got the feeling that i could change who i was.

WHO: Hajime Shino + Yuuri Katsuki
WHERE: Heropa 017 / Studio
WHEN: Friday 9th, morning - afternoon
WHAT: Hajime needs an adult and Yuuri is that adult.
WARNINGS: N/A

[ Hajime hasn't had to call out of school for a while. It's not that there's no jobs around but rather that it's started to fit in more. Rebecca Galaxy has started to really pay off since he's become a regular on the show and started singing the ending theme song, so Hajime hasn't had to resort to too many other gigs besides showing up when they need him. The commercial was booked for a week or so, but after his run, he's pacing in the kitchen with his cheek pressed up against his phone-- ]

N-no, I understand! It's okay... ah, if you're sick, there's nothing that can be done, right? You should really take care of yourself... I'll take care of it! I'm a teenager, I can't let you do all the work~ so I'll find someone else. Ah--?

Um... no, Archie-nii-chan and Viktor-san aren't around, so... mm-mm, don't worry about it! You should drink a lot of fluids, okay? It's not good if you keep being sick. Rest well... goodbye~

[ ... and Hajime droops in place. Where is he supposed to find an adult that can serve as his guardian for the day? Everyone's probably busy! ]

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[ As if on cue, Yuuri shuffled into the room, bleary eyed and suffering from a severe case of bed head. Someone obviously just woke up, but that didn't keep him from noticing Hajime looking down. ]

Shino-kun? Everything okay?

[ He blinks at Yuuri for a moment and... an idea forms, but he's hesitant in speaking: ]

Ah, good morning, Katsuki-san.

Um... well, usually I need a guardian to come with me to any commercials or photoshoots I do, to sign release forms and things like that... but the person I usually go with woke up with a bad cold. And the other people I sometimes ask... they're busy, too. So I need to find another adult that can come with me.

I-I know we don't know each other too well yet, but... a-are you free today?

[ Yuuri blinked, his still sleepy mind having a bit of trouble processing all that. He needed coffee, but it would be rude to just ignore him and get a cup. ]

Yes? I was just going to work out today, but I can do that at any time.

[ Despite how much Viktor fawned over it, he couldn't keep his off season belly for the full off season on this world, not with practically going through the entire off season back home. ]

Then, could you ... would you mind being my guardian for the day? I'll definitely make it up to you!

[ Good lord, he's bowing. ]

[ H-Haji... Yuuri motioned to him, trying to get him to stop being so formal. ]

I will, I will; just let me get some coffee first.

[ Righting himself... ]

Thank you so much~

Ah--sorry... [ He is blocking the way, huh. Hajime quickly scoots to the side... ]

[ It's fine, Haji, really; he's just a perpetual night owl that spent his time on the communicator most of the night before crawling into bed with Viktor. Once he's caffeinated, he's much less zombie-like, and hurries to get dressed and ready to go. ]

[ Yuuri, pls.

Hajime doesn't mind waiting, it's still a bit before their time and he's used to shaking his dad a few times to get him to go anywhere. Besides, he has to shower and get dressed, too. ]

Katsuki-san? [ Oh, there he is... ] Is going by bus okay? It won't be too long.

[ Yuuri offered him a soft smile. ]

The bus is fine.

[ He shrugged on his jacket. ]

And Shino-kun? You don't have to ask me about everything. Just do what you usually do.

Is that real--ah...

[ He supposes that's exactly Yuuri meant... so instead he nods firmly, grabbing his back and buttoning up his jacket before he heads out. The bus stop isn't far from their house, thankfully. ]

Oh! Yuri-kun was talking about helping me and Freyja-chan make a dance when it came to making a video... since you skate, do you know that kind of thing too? Dancing?

[ Yuuri smiled faintly. ]

Yes; I learned ballet before I learned to skate.

Ah! Really...? When did you start, when you were little?

[ Interest sparks in his eyes, his full attention on Yuuri now. ]

Yeah; I started when I was really young, and it was Minako-sensei that suggested I take what I learned over to the ice. She always was a big fan of figure skating.

[ He smiled fondly at that. ]

I picked up other styles over the years, but I'm strongest with ballet.

It seems really tough to learn... so you're really incredible, knowing it so well. [ He smiles fully. ] Was it easier to skate since you knew how to dance? I'm still not very good... and I'm not very good at dancing either, so maybe that's the link...

No.

[ Yuuri half laughs, shaking his head. ]

Staying upright on ice requires a different kind of training. You need to balance what you know on land on two thin blades, which requires reassessing your height in relation to the ground, how your toes should be pointed, things like that. It takes less time than learning from scratch, yes, but it's not easier.

[ He shrugged sheepishly. ]

Plus... the only reason I got where I am now is because I had all the time I wanted to practice. I'm not a natural like Viktor and Yuri.

Mm, that's much harder... I'll have to keep this in mind for practice!

[ He's more incensed now, somehow. But in the end, his smile stays in place. ]

Me neither... but not being a natural is kind of refreshing, a little? Being able to achieve something you thought might not be possible for you after working so hard, I think, is really satisfying.

Satisfying... sometimes, yeah.

[ Other times? It was worrying again and again that you didn't practice enough, that you were never going to be good enough. That you were just doing this over and over again just to waste your time and you were going to fail from the moment you start. ]

[ The pressure could be agonizing sometimes. ]

... sometimes?

[ He tilted his head to look at Yuuri, concerned--he reaches out to touch his arm but pulls back, not knowing if it's okay. ]

[ Yuuri paused, smiling faintly. ]

It's... hard for me, to have faith in myself. Even after everything Viktor has done to help me, it's hard to remember that I have my own strength.

Mm... [ He deflates a bit, but he actually nods. ] I understand. It's hard when everyone's so amazing in comparison... so you start thinking 'can I really make it', or 'if I fail I'll let everyone down'...

[ Yuuri nodded sadly. ]

...and you're left wondering why you're trying so hard, because you 'know' you can't keep up with everyone else.

[ A soft smile came to his face then. ]

But at the same time, I know there are people I love, and people that will support me, no matter what. I have Viktor and Yuri, and there are other people here that I'm getting to know. It's... a good feeling; it helps keep the anxiety at bay.

[ Hajime closes his eyes briefly. ]

Mm... I miss my family a lot because of that... they would come to every show, so I felt like... as long as they were watching, I couldn't really fail. Because they would love me no matter what. Ah, but--

Viktor and Yuri-san are really nice and supportive, too. It must be helpful to have them with you. And I know they're happy to have you around.

I know; I'm happy to be here with them.

[ He paused, smiling softly. ]

They're there for you too, you know.

Ah--I, I know! They're really kind... Yuri-san's kindness is a little, umm, tough? But I can still tell that he cares... and Viktor-san helps me a lot. It's just...

[ He hesitates, because he shouldn't have even started that last sentence. There's still a bit of him that's... scared... troubling them feels wrong. Troubling anyone feels wrong. Being strong on his own is what he should be, like his friends... ]

I feel like if I rely on them too much, they might not rely on me... and I want them to rely on me, at least a little.

[ Oh Haji; Yuuri can't help but smile a little sadly. They think too much alike, sometimes. ]

I think you're going to find that when you really need help, they're going to help you, no matter what. They won't look down on you for it. Trust me.

I think so, too... they already have. Sometimes it really feels like I should call Viktor-san 'Papa'? But I think he'd get confused or troubled if I did...

[ The bus comes to a stop before them and Hajime starts first, flicking his card through the reader twice--once for himself and once for Yuuri--before scampering onboard. ]

And I know if I tried to call Yuri-san my brother, he'd probably tell me to stop being sentimental.

Mm... I'm not sure how Viktor would react to that...

[ He probably would be confused at first, then find it the most adorable thing ever. ]

But... usually when Yuri gets snappy about those kind of things, it means he's happy.

Hehe... it does, right?

[ He smiles, shoulders shaking when he laughs. ]

He's Russian so he might not understand 'tsundere', huh? I don't mind, though.

[ Yuuri laughed softly; tsundere. Yes, that was definitely what Yuri was. ]

I'm sure there's a Russian equivalent, but I don't know it.

Mm, can you speak any Russian? Since you and Viktor-san... [ Well, does he need to explain? ] He didn't seem to understand when I explained some things...

[ More like he did but didn't care, really. ]

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got the feeling that i could change who i was.

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Oops, sorry for the HTML fail.

apparently i was so sleepy i didn't realize, lol.

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