[OPEN] If you need me I'll be living

[heliophilic]

WHO: M and OPEN
WHERE: Various
WHEN: March
WHAT: Enjoying the changing weather, shopping, eating, trolling
WARNINGS: None. Will update as necessary!
NOTE: If you haven't already, please fill out M's permissions post. Thanks!!


01. Doesn't everyone have a robot shrimp?

[With the weather inching ever closer to spring, M decides to take advantage of the nice day by enjoying it in a local park. He's sitting on a bench by a pond, just off the walking path, reading a comic book. In fact, he's got a small stack of them lying next to him on the bench for later perusal, kept in place to prevent an early watery grave with the help of a large, flat rock. Perhaps most curiously, curled up around his neck like a pillow is a foot-long, bright red shrimp with orange and purple accents. After all, why shouldn't Dragprawn enjoy the nice day too?

Perhaps he notices you walking by and invites you over, or perhaps his stack of comics and giant robot shrimp draw your attention. Either way, he's here and he's not opposed to company while he enjoys the day.]

02. How does one take care of a living thing?

[Standing on the sidewalk at a local strip mall, M makes quite the sight as he approaches a small mom-and-pop pet shop. Oh, nothing about him was out of the ordinary, he was sporting his usual mohawk, with a brown jacket, grey button-down, jeans, and brown boots. It was the company he kept as he stood outside the door. Around his neck was his imPocreat Dragprawn, watching everything around them without any real interest in it, and inside a hamster ball was one of Piper's farewell gifts.

He knew he needed something to house the rodents as soon as he discovered he'd been given them. It wasn't a matter of not wanting them running around his house unsupervised--frankly he couldn't care less about that--but rather just scurrying around the floor of his apartment with no access to the outdoors couldn't be all that stimulating for the little guys. So he had them take a vote and pick a spokesrat for a trip for supplies. Winston in the ball was the winner.

Now that he was here, M became more than increasingly aware that he has never had to actually care for a living creature before. D was a robot, they didn't need food. He damn near classified as a robot himself, and when it came down to it he could go months without eating no problem. The rats, on the other hand, wouldn't be so lucky.

Seeing someone attempt to go around him, whether into the pet store or trying to get to a store on the other side of the strip mall, he stops them.]

Got any experience in keeping something alive?

03. Quiz time!

[M's on his laptop in some public space--a cafe, a park, a library, wherever you fancy--staring intently at his screen. After a moment he looks over at anyone nearby.]

Be honest--which of these cats look most like me?

[M smirks as he holds up the screen next to his face. On the laptop is very clearly a pointless hypereader quiz whose current question features 9 different cat breeds.]

04. Eating out and being seen

[Despite Andrew's urging otherwise, M will never get used to his minor celebrity. The only bright side, as far as M was concerned, was that his celebrity didn’t come from his work, as it will never be something he would feel comfortable getting any attention pretty much ever. No, his celebrity seems to come from two wildly opposite groups of people. The first group is the one trying to be discrete as they occupy tables surrounding his own, betraying themselves when they try to “casually” turn to take a picture of him, or a selfie with him in the background. These are the foodies, the purveyors of the “#MsGems” hashtag who have taken it upon themselves to follow him whenever he comes into their town to try various hole-in-the-walls.

This particular hole-in-the-wall, a small pub designedt to serve "rustic" charm in the big city, has seated him in their small little patio area, no doubt hoping that passers-by might see him and in turn drum up even more business. Unfortunately for M, this also means he now has a small gaggle of teenagers surrounding him on the street side, all dressed in matching black-and-grey crescent moon t-shirts and varying lengths of leather trench coat. These would be the second type of “fan” he attracted--kids who took one look at his work clothes and decided he was a role model worth emulating despite not knowing the first thing about him. His costume merely screamed “edgy” and “cool,” and that was good enough for them.

The kids are trying to get M to talk in great detail about his most violent exploits, but he’s having none of it. Instead, he casually changes the subject every time while trying to get them to re-arrange themselves. It isn't long to figure out why: a waiter comes out the door carrying a large tray with his meal, only the boys in question don’t see him. A boy’s wildly gesturing arm flies back into the waiter’s side, causing the tray to go flying into the air, the contents of the dish slowly falling towards an unsuspecting passer-by.

Incoming.]

05. Wildcard

[Give me a prompt of your own!!]

(If you want a personalized prompt, hit me up at redconfession!)

Comments

03

[killtime]

[ Andy needs coffee. She could probably use a shower too, but mornings like this are a one-thing-at-a-time sort of deal. Her job at at the tavern keeps her up late, and habitual restlessness keeps her up even later. The bottom of a bottle and a few cigarettes is what usually gets her to bed. It's not a fantastic lifestyle — but it's not like it can kill her either.

Her coffee is like her shades: Black. She drinks slowly between drags off her cigarette. This is not a woman that gives off an especially friendly, social aura — but apparently that doesn't deter the man at the table over. ]

What? [ Flat. Maybe a little suspicious. Did he just say "cat?" ]

[heliophilic]

[Having an aura that screams "fuck off" has stopped M from bugging someone... probably never.

He just smirks some more and wiggles the laptop screen to draw her attention to it.]

Which cat most closely resembles me?

[killtime]

[ People here keep surprising her in odd little ways, small interactions that leave her somewhere between annoyed and just wondering why they all bother. But maybe six thousand years of being alive has left her more antisocial than most. Even as crabby and standoffish as she openly is, she's been approached about everything from milkshakes to David Bowie. And now — cats.

Andy's eyebrows pinch. She lifts her hands to rub against her temples. For a moment, it looks like she won't answer — but finally, after a long beat, she exhales heavily and points at one. ]

Fuck, I dunno. That one?

[heliophilic]

Ooh, I think you're right. I think I even had a similar Superman shirt back home too.

[He clicks on the cat and moves down to the next question: "Which waffle speaks to your soul?" followed by 9 pictures of various waffles.]

Thanks. I really need to know who the imPort of my dreams is. It's practically eating me up inside.

[The sarcasm in his voice is practically oozing out of every word.]

[killtime]

[ The internet is something Andy still doesn't fully understand — mostly from an unwillingness to adapt to it beyond the necessity, email and the like. Memes in the modern era are somewhat beyond her entirely. Why is it always cats? ]

Sounds pressing.

[ She squints at those waffle pictures through her dark sunglasses. Perhaps against her better judgement, and with a little waving gesture of her hand: ]

Well, go on. Now I have to know.

02

[lesterzeppelin]

[ Oh, you had to be kidding him...

Except Lester has a sinking feeling, that as he runs right into M, that this guy isn't kidding. He trolls innocent kids over the network, only to have previously bought them waffles for saving some waitress's purse... and now he's asking Lester if he's had experience keeping anything alive.

He scans the windows, and well - he's old, not stupid. It doesn't take him long to put two and two together. ]

You thinking about getting a pet?

[heliophilic]

[Oh Lester. So young old. So clueless.

He holds the hamster ball containing Winston between them.]

No, I'm holding this rat in my hand just for fun.

[lesterzeppelin]

[ Lester glances down at the rat, then back up at M. Two plus two equals five, and absolutely none of this makes sense. M never struck him as the kind of guy who wanted to own a rat, let alone feed it and care for it like a small furry family member. ]

I don't know, you could've - [ "could've been in the market for a pet snake." Lester shrugs, ] You honestly could've been doing that, for all I know.

What prompted that life choice?

[heliophilic]

I don't waste my time doing pointless things, Lester. No matter how much you think otherwise.

[Things that amuse him aren't pointless. Standing around holding a rat that isn't his in a hamster ball doesn't amuse him.]

Inheritance from an old friend.

02

[applewatcher]

[Despite his best attempts, blending in was still difficult. The local accent was close enough to his own, but the dialect still caused him trouble. With all its bizarre technological terminology, it felt like being an early man among the dwemer. But blending in was vital to his work, and so he set aside time for observation and practice.

Today, that meant going to the 'mall', dressed in local clothes. He didn't quite blend in, what with the local fashion for short hair on men, but it was close enough. For the most part, he was content to drift along, listening to the people around him, occasionally stopping to examine the contents of a shop. He wasn't looking to buy much, but the sight of a shoe shop reminded him he still hadn't found a good, quiet pair of boots anywhere.

Halfway to his destination, a man with an automaton prawn stopped him. Well.]

I'm afraid I'm not--oh! [He belatedly noticed the rat.] Yes, My family keeps a pet rat, actually. Is this your first?

[heliophilic]

[M didn't pick the one guy trying to sneak around the place, but he had to admit it was an interesting bonus.]

Technically no. I've got a whole bunch more back home. They are the first pets I've had to actually feed.

[applewatcher]

[He smiled brightly.] Ah, good, they prefer company, so long as they like each other. We have just the one, but we've got such a big family there's always someone to keep him from feeling lonely. [With all the attention he got, he was a terribly spoiled rat.]

With regards to food, they need a mixed diet. Lean meat, vegetables, fruit, that sort of thing. Don't feed them raw beans, stay away from new potatoes and cabbage... [he tapped his chin, trying to think.] Kept rats can be quite picky about taste. There might be some foods Schemer just refuses to eat on principle, it will probably be the same with yours. He loves apples, can't stand peas.

Have you named yours yet?

[heliophilic]

[M just nods at the information regarding a rat's diet. It's all good to know. If it were up to M, everyone would survive on a diet of peanut butter, but his preferred diet isn't for everyone.]

They belonged to a friend of mine who just got ported out, so I know they get along pretty well. Wouldn't want to separate them now, anyway.

[He holds out the one in the hamster ball.]

This one's Winston.

And knowing who they belonged to, I'm willing to bet they're all picky and spoiled as hell.

4.

[littlemissfutility]

Oh--crap!

[It's weird, how much worse a sudden mess is than the slow buildup of grime. Beth learned to live with the latter, gross as it was--but even after years of count-your-blessings-if-you-bathe-this-week, getting splashed with country gravy and barbecue sauce is something she tries to avoid.

And today, she's not lucky enough to come out of The Great Dinner Catastrophe unscathed. Her cowgirl boots, jeans, and jacket all end up spattered with food that was probably shaping up to be pretty tasty. (Is that creamed corn studded with thick-cut bacon? Well, now it's on her elbow.) She stares down at herself in surprise, and then looks back at the little crowd with just a touch of annoyance. Not at the guy--wait, she knows that face--who really shouldn't get the blame, but at all the kids hanging around him.]

I could use a napkin.

[heliophilic]

[M's already holding a cloth napkin out for her before she even gets the statement out. The gloomy teens--especially the perpetrator--all now look extremely guilty, and try to disperse unnoticed.]

At least one of you better pay for Beth's dry cleaning. I told you to get out of the way.

[The kids all start stammering about how they'd pay, or how they'd chip in, or something. The fact that M seems to know who she is seems to help matters.

The poor waiter who dropped the food is nearly beside herself with embarrassment, apologizing over and over again.]

You all right?

[littlemissfutility]

Yeah. Thanks.

[She's going to smell like black pepper and bacon until she gets home, and she's pretty sure she heard someone go oh, my God, it's that BlueTube girl!, which is about the most embarrassing way she could be recognized in public...but it's not the absolute worst thing that could have happened today, right? Boots are made to get muddy, and denim washes. Her coat--and the blouse under it, if the food made it that far--is another story, but even if these kids don't pay for the dry cleaning, she can afford it.

As quick as she can, she swipes off the worst of it, leaving dark splotches of moisture on her clothes and spots of sauce on the sidewalk. Her attention mostly shifts away from the teens--ignoring them has a weird satisfaction to it.]

Smells pretty good, at least.

[heliophilic]

Smells very good. Care to join me, or does wearing your food make you want to run off back home?

[The waiter offers Beth napkins before running back into the restaurant. The teens slowly start to slink away.]

I tried to get them out of the way.

4

[drivesadesk]

[Jonathan had just been returning from the bathroom and was heading back to his seat when suddenly a tray of food came flying through the air. He started to take a step back, but he was too slow. Suddenly, he was soaked in what he was fairly certain was some sort of thick gravy, and he felt a solid chunk of something slide off his face and fall to the floor.]

Well. That was a thing that just happened.

[heliophilic]

[The kids quickly scatter as soon as they realize what happened, no one wanting to be blamed for it. Too bad for them M's got a memory that doesn't forget a face.

He holds out a cloth napkin while the server apologizes profusely over and over again.]

It's a good look for you.

[drivesadesk]

[He takes the napkin and starts wiping off his face with it.]

Yeah, thanks. I prefer the clean look.

[To the waiter, he says,] It's fine, just...can you get me more of these? [He held up the already filthy napkin.] Or wait...maybe I should just run my face and hair under the sink.

[heliophilic]

You're an imPort. You might start a trend the other way.

[The waiter nods and runs off to get another napkin, missing the second part of his question. M holds up his cup of water.]

I doubt it'll get all the gravy out, but it's a start.

1

[aberrant_type]

[Hange can often be found out and about, wandering and looking at things. This world is so different from her own that the culture shock is still hitting her... wandering into a supermarket, even, is an exercise in overstimulation.

Parks are something the two worlds have in common, at least. And she has reason to be interested in the abundant plant life, which M can probably guess! Today she's not growing random things, but she's stealing samples, which means she's casually carrying a fistful of broken-off flowers and branches when she spots her friend 8) and his weird 8) thing 8))) what is that????

Popping up right there:]

Hello!

[heliophilic]

[At the sudden intrusion, the robot shrimp around his neck arches their back almost like a cat and clicks angrily. M just chuckles.]

Hello, Hange. Still plundering the wildlife, I see.

[He moves the stack of comics to make room for her, then reaches up to pet Dragprawn.]

[aberrant_type]

Yes, of course, of course! What kind of scientist only does one experiment?

[She happily plops down right next to him, and leans closer to stare at his funky pet. Not too close though, in case it's stabby or bitey or otherwise aggressive...]

[heliophilic]

I see this one has you stealing from the environment instead of adding to it.

[D is a fan of headbutting, actually. Thankfully, the way M has his hand on their back, they can't. It doesn't stop them from clicking at her, though. Dragprawn is bright red except around their feet, which is orange, and their antennae, which are purple.]