[closed] relaxation? in MY spa?

[h2no]

WHO: archie and elena
WHERE: a spa in heropa
WHEN: grunts. march.
WHAT: some relaxation and villain fighting. usual stuff.
WARNINGS: nothing that i can think of. will add if something comes up.



Good morning!

[this obnoxious chirp is the first thing elena will hear on arriving to the spa reception. archie was already there, having accidentally arrived a bit too early. he's leaning on the desk (being glared at occasionally by the guy working behind it) and waves at her casually.]

I already booked us in. [he holds up the two passes, waving them slightly.] We got some free tea to enjoy 'fore they drop a buncha hot rocks on us. You have an okay trip over?

Comments

[storyseeker]

[Elena stifles a laugh. She's never seen Archie this cheerful. It's a good thing; better to see him more like his old self.]

Easy-peasy, just a little backed up on the road. A bank robbery was foiled by some superheroics, but I was good and didn't stop to get the story.

[Her career is important and all, but it's spa day. Nothing compares.]

So. What's first on the agenda after the tea?

[h2no]

And there wasn't even any fifties floatin' around for you to grab? All round disappointment, honestly.

[he snorts, shakoing his head.]

Well, there's the rocks, then maybe being beaten up by a small lady for mucle relaxing. Not sure how those two work, but. [he shrugs.] Ahh... a sauna, pool... all the good shit.

[storyseeker]

Would've helped to pay for this, right?

[Spas aren't cheap. But boy, can they be worth it.]

I love it. We're going to have a great time and you'll love being beaten up, I swear. [She grins and gives his arm a squeeze.] I'm glad we're doing this. Sometimes it's important to spoil yourself a little.

[h2no]

Pssh. I got them boucou imPort bucks. All you gotta do is sign a bunch of stuff an' people'll buy 'em eventually.

[that gets another glare from the receptionist. maybe slightly salty.]

Uh huh. Can't believe how badly we've been slackin'.

[an attendant appears, gesturing them through to the tea lounge.]

How've you been, bro? Your wounds okay?

I wrote this tag like two days ago and didn't hit post comment

[storyseeker]

Right as rain. The only thing they're going to do is make me look all tough and badass.

[She gives the attendant a friendly nod as they walk, and gets one in return. Friendlier than the receptionist, or maybe Elena looks respectable enough to gain them some credibility.]

...which isn't that useful at a spa, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

[Oh man. It smells amazing in here.]

im calling the cops as we speak

[h2no]

Pssh. You don't need those for that.

[he follows, looking around as they get to the lounge area. there's a lot of nice art around and archie's attention is grabbed for a couple of minutes by a snazzy glass water feature. they're directed to a nice little booth of sorts, set up with a coffee table and some plush seats.]

--Y'know, I've never had green tea before. Ain't that meant to be all herb-y and relaxing?

wow rude

[storyseeker]

[It's a nice place, and as much as Elena's looking forward to the proper spa activities, she'd glad enough to sit down with her friend and chitchat as they enjoy the atmosphere.]

Kind of. I'm not a big tea person, but I've had green before a few times. It's good with savory meals. Not so good for perking you up with caffeine, though.

TO TELL THEM I LOVE U

[h2no]

Eh, I like mint tea. [he shrugs, sliding into a seat.] An' my coffees are usually considered crimes 'cuz of how much I put in them.

[he snorts, picking up the tea listing.]

First Flush Darjeeling-- shit, that sounds pretentious! Oh-- they do cocktails!

[archie it's like 10am]

less rude

[storyseeker]

It sounds like something no one should want to drink, if you ask me.

[Elena Fisher is a grown adult who isn't above a little potty humor.]

And hey, if you get a cocktail, I won't judge. It's five o'clock somewhere, and we're supposed to be treating ourselves.

[h2no]

Why wou-- oh!

[he barks a laugh at the joke, considering it unexpected.]

...Mmm. Nah. Green tea. Cocktails after, yeah?

[storyseeker]

[She knew Archie wouldn't judge her.]

Oh yeah. But first, we relax. I want all the cucumbers on our eyes.

...or just two each. But they better be good cucumbers.

[h2no]

I don't even know why they put cucumbers on your eyes...

[he trails off as the server comes to take their Tea Order. archie gives his choice, then thinks for a moment.]

Hey-- can I get a cucumber with that? I'm on it. I want a cucumber to chew on.

[he gets a weird look, but it's written down.]

[storyseeker]

Make that two.

[Cucumber tea is pretty odd, whether the vegetable goes in the tea or with it. But why not?

The tea comes before long, and she already feels a little more relaxed as they drink, although she's still looking forward to the actual spa treatments.]

[h2no]

[and the tea was drank and a good time was had by all. they're split up for a short time - men and ladies changing rooms being separate, as were some of the treatments, but get a chance to rejoin in the café sitting right next to the giant pool that circles the facility. it's lovely. the sun is shining - despite it still being a frigid temperature, the water is a probably artificial deep turquoise... it even glitters slightly! it all reflects the general modern, glass interior very well.

elena will probably catch sight of archie in a giant fluffy robe waving to her from one of the tables. oh, god. is he wearing pink crocs? where did he even get those--]

[storyseeker]

[Elena doesn't bat an eyelash. Crocs, shmocs. They're not fashionable, but they're comfortable as hell, and this is all about comfort. Elena gives him a big grin and a thumbs up a she enters, likewise wrapped in a fluffy robe.]

You know, these are probably intended to be couples' massages. But I won't tell if you don't.

[h2no]

Jokes on them, I got like three discounts because of that. It's amazing what they'll do when you say you're on a honeymoon.

[he takes a sip of water with a small snort.]

I'll just have to remember we've already been here if Matt is ported back in. That would be an awkward conversation... [he shakes his head.] Anyway, you have a good time? We still got mud baths to wind down with.

[storyseeker]

Aw, look at you, such a caring husband already. Yeah, this place is great, I think I could spend a week here.

[Except for the part where, even with discounts, that would cost enough to make her bank account cringe. But it's nice to dream.]

If Matt does come back, just think of this as testing it out to make sure it's good enough for him. I'll tell Nate the same.

[Ah, the art of bullshitting one's significant other.]

[h2no]

I literally would, if I had coffers full of gold and diamonds I could dive into to afford it.

[he laughs, though wants to drop the subject of matt. not because of anything elena has said, he just keeps thinking he can talk about it, mentioning it, then wanting to bury himself.

...fortunately, there's a distraction. some noise seems to be coming from the reception area of the spa. it dies down after a moment, until... three security guys go running past the seating area.]

...Uh.

[storyseeker]

[Sounds scratchy and hard, pretty much the opposite of their current situation. But boy, would it make a great visual.

Elena chuckles, and is about to suggest they both get pedicures while they're here when she's equally as distracted by the commotion.]

Whoa, something's going on. [She hops to her feet, not exactly looking threatening in a fluffy robe.] Let's check it out.

[h2no]

[archie hops up with her, clopping behind her in his important and comfortable crocs.]

Better not interrupt our fuckin' session, [he grumbles. a couple more security guards run past them.] You don't think someone's trying to rob the place, right? No-one pays in cash here! That's the point!

[storyseeker]

Archie, maybe watch your choice of—never mind, you're right.

[She shakes her head, peeved. She'd been relaxed.]

Maybe they want more than cash, I don't know.

[She starts moving whether or not he comes with her, ready to face the commotion outside this area.]

[h2no]

[he grumbles further, cracking his knuckles. ready to beat on a bitch. they round the corner and there's three guys, all holding guns up at the security team, who are also holding guns up. fun.

archie stops, putting a hand out to stop elena as well, using a large piece of art as cover.]

Fuck! [said in a harsh whisper.] Do you have enemies? 'Cause I don't! There's no fucking reason for this!

[storyseeker]

Probably, but this isn't them!

[She peeks around Archie's arm. Shit, that's a lot of guns. A lot of guns doesn't usually frighten her, but she's also usually armed too.]

I bet I can distract them if I flash them. Cover your eyes?

[h2no]

Okay, sure, but then what?

[...he really hopes she means flash like a power thing.]

[storyseeker]

Then...crap. What are your powers?

[Because breathing underwater probably isn't going to help them here.]

[h2no]

Uh. Healing?

[even if he had his pokémon with him, he wouldn't send them out in such bad odds.

archie rubs his beard for a moment, thinking.]

...They don't know that, though.

[storyseeker]

[Her face lights up, and then her smile gets a little evil.]

Oh, that's terrible. I love it. Let's do it.

[For great justice. And stopping robbers.]

[h2no]

Thank god for all this bullshit.

[he thinks for a moment.]

Want me to get their attention with some... claims of extreme power bullshit? You could sneak around and clock 'em. Maybe grab a gun from one?

[archie isn't even going to pretend he would know how to quickly and cleanly knock someone out, or disarm them.]

[storyseeker]

Do it.

[She nods firmly. It's a sensible plan, because she does know how to quickly knock out and/or disarm someone, and Archie's got the edge on intimidating by virtue of not being so short.]

On three. One...two...

[h2no]

[archie nods silently at three, then strolls out from behind the artwork like he owns the place. it... gets their attention, seeing as he's pretty good at acting like he doesn't give a shit about what's going on.]

Y'know, [he starts loudly, knowing not to even look for elena lest they notice he's not looking right at them.] us imPorts got a reaaaal big burden on our shoulders bein' here, right?

[he snorts, shrugs.]

I just wanted a day off from punching bad guys through walls! I just wanted one day, [fortunately, his healing power comes with a visual effect. archie holds his hand up, the soft pastel rainbow glowing around it. maybe rainbows aren't very intimidating but...] and I really don't wanna break this spa! I really don't! The service has been amazing--

[he'll just keep talking shit, waving his hand around, doing his job until elena manages to do hers.]

[storyseeker]

[Elena watches Archie like a hawk as he makes his grand debut of bullshit. What she does depends a lot on what he does, and on whether the robbers believe it.

It's pretty convincing, she has to admit. He's got an affected or maybe a real-but-misdirected swaggery confidence, and he's big enough that he looks like he could punch plenty of bad guys with or without powers.

And it seems to be working, at least a little. The robbers don't look frightened, exactly, but they do look surprised and uncertain—maybe even intimidated.]

"Hey, back up—we're the ones with the guns here! You wanna find out if you're bullet proof?"

[Elena definitely doesn't want Archie to find that out, because she knows he's not. Her creeping-around isn't ninja stealth-level, but their attention is elsewhere and she's gotten close to a small sculpture, probably iron, that's meant to class up the place.

It has other uses. She scoops it up, rises to hear feet and clocks the closest robber.]

[h2no]

I already know! [he yells with a... special kind of psychotic energy. the one elena hits goes down immediately and the other two spin around-- which actually gives the spa security team a chance to corner the last two. archie just cackles like a maniac.]

He sure as shit weren't statue-proof, huh?

[he follows the security guards so he's not a target out in the open. then punches one of the guys - who's had the gun wrested out his hands - in the face. just cause.]

[storyseeker]

[Violence is bad and stuff. But Elena can't help practically giggling as Archie punches the robber.]

Little known fact—statues are an uncommon weakness, but absolutely devastating.

[The security guards begin hauling the robbers away, the pandemonium dying down now.]

Wow. Not what I expected from spa day, but you know, I do feel more relaxed now.