maskormenacelogs | God Knows I Am Dissonance

God Knows I Am Dissonance

WHO: Hera Syndulla, Eli Vanto, Bodhi Rook, and Kanan Jarrus
WHERE: Around Heropa
WHEN: Jan 1-5
WHAT: Hera's back, and her most recent memories have her rather addled. Guess that's what happens to a girl when she crashes a star fighter and gets captured by the Empire she's rebelling against.
WARNINGS: Usual Star Wars warnings.

Keep My Eyes Closed || For Eli Vanto

There was a memory of falling. That weightlessness that comes with being stunned, dizzy and disorienting. She had been standing in the streets of Capitol City, standing before it's governor. Her right arm ached, surely broken. Her head throbbed with the remains of the crash, the scramble to try and get out of the city.

And then weightlessness. Unconsciousness. Her fate left unknown to all but the Force.

When she wakes, it's with a solid something against her back. Mechanical hums and hushed voices around her. Snatches of conversations that she doesn't focus on. Just the fact that her wrists are- thankfully- free. That she's regaining feeling in her legs again, the pins and needles crawling up her spine as she recovers from that stunner blast.

As soon as she can get her bearings, she runs. Leaps from the table and bolts for the exits. She knows that this attempt will be futile, that she more than likely will be dragged back into whatever holding cell or torture room is waiting for her. That she'll be lined up for execution like the other members of her squadron that may have survived.

She's bleary eyed, disoriented, as she feels the hot, muggy air on her face, practically tripping over herself as she keeps running. The streets are not familiar to her. Was she even in the capitol city anymore? Taken to some other garrison? She doesn't have time to think until she crashes into someone, knocking them both down onto the ground as she scrambles-
"I need to get out of here- I'm with- Can you get me out of the city? The Garrison, they're looking for me-" A jumble of words as she tries to find her bearings once again.

Released the Controls || For Bodhi Rook

It had been Kanan's idea to contact Bodhi. Apparently the pilot- the man she had accidentally swapped memories with once- was a healer. Could help with her broken arm. Good. She doubted any medical unit here would be able to deal with her biology.

There's a soft smile on her face as she invites the man inside of her home- their home- for a moment glad that Kanan isn't hovering over her.
"Thank you for coming. It's been some time." And they hadn't discussed much. But, well, there was always time for that now.
"How have you been?"

All of this Mess || For Kanan Jarrus

Another nightmare.

Another waking up well before sunrise, body drenched in cold sweat as she expects to be woken up from this fantasy world, from Kanan's arms and this odd, peaceful world. She dresses in the dark. Slinks to the kitchen to make tea. Tries to shake the dreams from her head even as she stares at the phone and the missive she is planning to send to Thrawn.

She needs to talk about this. To Kanan. To anyone. The fear she has, the unknown, how going home had made this place feel like a dream and how scared she is that she'll wake again at any moment. How she's worried about her family back home, how the last time she had seen Kanan-

There's stirring from her bedroom. And she knows that Kanan will come and find her even as she pours a second cup of tea for him.
"I'm in here, love. I want to talk."

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There's a slight pang of fear when he wakes and she's not next to him. But only for a moment, because then Kanan takes a breath, reaches out through the Force, and she's there, right where she belongs. So he follows her, because he always follows her, whether it's into the kitchen for some tea or into a fire fight with the Empire.

"Sure, Hera," he says, perching at the table, no mask, his hair unbound, nothing but his pajamas for the muggy Florida night. "Talk to me."

He knew she would - eventually, in her own time. She always does. It's how they work, how they've always worked.

It was something that she couldn't keep from him. It's been a few days since her arrival, since touching back down on this place called "Earth". And she hasn't told him anything, just bits and pieces in the darkness of their shared bed, holding on to him like an anchor and she a ship lost among the stars.

"... I think it's time to extend a truce to Thrawn." Words she never thought she would say. Words that taste bitter in her mouth. She sips her tea as if it'll wash it down, but she can't.

Force. What is this place doing to her?

Kanan doesn't know the details, it's true, though based on the few things she has said, plus her injuries when she showed up, he can make some educated guesses as to what might've happened back home.

But she'll explain everything in her own time. And they'll work out how to move on. They always do.

"I'd say there kind of already is a truce with Thrawn," Kanan points out to her. "I mean, it's not like we're at each other's throats here. Back home, it is what it is. Here, there's not exactly much we can do to each other."

"I mean in writing. Not just a cold war 'I'll stay in my town if you stay in yours'." Which, admittedly, is what she had been doing. Ignoring him. Trying to push him out of her mind like he isn't there. Like he never followed them from home.

"If the kids show up- I don't-" How can she say this to put her mind at ease? To put him at ease?
"I don't want them attempting to retaliate. You remember how Sabine was with Fen Rau...." Slowly, she drinks her tea, trying to figure out just what to say to Kanan.

"I know I can't change what happens back home. It'll play out, and there's nothing we can do about it here. But I... I don't want our war emerging here."

Kanan reaches out, reaches for her hand. Covers it with his, gives it a reassuring squeeze. "We won't let them retaliate. But you should do whatever you need to do, to feel comfortable. I'll do whatever you need."

"... This is going to be... Extremely difficult." She sighs softly, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it again. She wants to tell him. Wants to let it all go. All her fears and worries that she knows she can't change.

"... I'm scared, that I'm going to wake up and it's all going to be a dream. That I'll go home again and be in some Imperial cell and all of this- all of this is just going to be a dream." She's got a vice grip on his hand, the creak of bones the only thing that gets her to let go.

Right. Super strength. Gotta remember that now.

"And that you're going to do something stupid and get yourself killed."

Well, if this is a dream, her bone-crushing grip would be enough to snap him out of it, that's for sure. He leans forward, cupping her cheek in his hand gently.

"I think stupid is relative," he says lightly. "And you know I'll always come for you if you're in trouble. I don't think this is a dream, but probably the only way to convince you of that will be time, unless you've got another idea."

Kanan's hand against her cheek is exactly what she needs right now. The warmth, the softness of his fingers, the gentleness of his voice- it's enough to make her relax. She leans against his palm, closing her eyes, holding his hand close against her skin.

"Time. Contact. I think I need both of those right now, love." Her lekku cross over twice, and for a moment she's nothing but content. Smiling so softly against his fingertips. Let him feel she's alright, if only for a moment.

"You've got them," Kanan assures her, a smile to match the one he can feel under his fingers. "You know, we could still go out of town like we were planning," he adds. "Just the two of us for a while."

"Just the two of us sounds perfect." It's too much all at once, really, to be surrounded by people who know her- their- fate. She doesn't want the truth revealed. She wants to picture an ending where she and Kanan survive the war. Where they can stay together. Where she has her family, her crew, by her side, whole and unharmed.

"Just like Rion, right?" It's been a while since they've had a mission together- let alone a mission together alone. And this little trip wouldn't even involve blaster fire pointed in their direction.

"Way better than Rion," Kanan points out with a chuckle. No mission. Just a break. A vacation.

"You deserve a break."

"... Do you have any ideas on where to go?" Somewhere quiet, seculded she hopes. She just wants to relax beside him.
Quietly, she leans in to press her forehead to his, closing her eyes as she does so. Hugging him close. Let her stay grounded. Just for a little while longer.

Edited 2018-02-15 23:04 (UTC)

"I do, actually," Kanan says, holding her close. "I was looking into it before you - left. How about a warm and cozy cabin in the middle of a snowy forest?"

A warm cabin in the middle of a snowy forest. Just the two of them to share it. Perfectly quiet and secluded. That- that's exactly what she wants.
"It sounds perfect. When can we leave?"

Tomorrow, she hopes. Tomorrow, or the day after, or something- just soon.

"I'll have to call the place, see if it's still available. If it is, we can leave whenever you want. Tomorrow."

So, yeah, tomorrow.

Eli's arm comes around Hera instinctively trying to mitigate the impact as both of them fall over. He recognises her as someone from his galaxy, and her face here he has seen before.

"Wh-?" His expression akin to a confused puppy — the Garrison? He grabs her injured arm by accident and let's go just as quickly when he feels the break beneath.

"Kriff. Sorry. Just wait a moment."

Great job, Vanto, you idiot. He didn't feel his words particularly reassuring.

"I don't have time- I need to get out of here-" Things are coming into focus now. Streetlights and passing vehicles- not the speeders that she's used to but something more solid, touching the ground on four wheels. It seems like a memory from a dream, seeing those, and things are coming back in bits and pieces.

"Where am I?" She tries to sort out her thoughts. Was this some trick? Is she dreaming again? Is she going to wake up back in an imperial cell, waiting for Thrawn to interrogate her-?

"Listen, I need to get out of here."

She's running from Imperials, or rather, was.

It has been a while since the damage of the Empire is so blatantly clear that not even Eli can compartmentalise it successfully. Hera's arm, her panic — Eli is had that his face is not recognizable, that he no longer wears the uniform.

"You're fine." He sets a hand on her shoulder, firmly and repeats himself, this time clearly and without hesitation. "You're fine. You're safe."

Everything is disorienting. Stunning blasts and a needle in her arm, a tattoo on her wrist that she remembered dreaming-
Running through the streets of Lothal, Mart and Chopper at her back, that thing hunting them from the rooftops. Her arm felt on fire as she fought back, knocked down, that bo-rifle over her chest.
On her knees before Pryce.
How long until she was in front of him? The man who would kill her crew just for her surrender? Who had always been one step ahead-

"- Thrawn. He has the survivors-" And he wouldn't let her escape. Not this easily.
Is she dreaming? Is this some sort of trick?

Her mind is racing, spinning, and she's too disoriented to stand, staggering against the stranger who tries to hold her steady.

There is a coldness that settles over him at the mention of Thrawn and survivors. Eli knows bits and pieces of information after leaving the Empire: it's eventual defeat, the rise of the First Order, Lothal. It has been a topic danced around for the most part and Eli, not wanting to rock the boat, avoided delving into it with Thrawn.

Perhaps, it was time to revisit.

"You're not — this isn't our Galaxy, this is Earth— you're safe. Thrawn's not going to hurt you here. He can't." What had he done this time? Eli narrows his eyes, lips pressed together. His anger can wait, for now, those words were a promise.

He holds Hera steady, knows one person he ought to contact first: Kanan.

Thrawn's not going to hurt you here. He can't.

Everything's starting to come into focus now. The pieces of memories, the dream-like quality of the streets around her. She remembers a name. Heropa. She remembers the house she shares with Kanan, and the woman named Ashley who's like a Jedi in her role as a spectre. And she remembers the man before her, Eli, if only as a distant association or face on the network.

"My head's swimming." She groans, fingers digging at her skull. Wincing as she realizes that the broken arm was no dream.
"... I was... I was home. On Lothal."

"You're injured." Yes, Eli is stating the obvious, nervous. If Hera had been on Lothal, Thrawn had probably done —

Those thoughts are swallowed down before they can rise in a wave of anger and Eli ends up doing something he regrets.

"But you're not in danger now, Kanan &dmash; he's here." Would the Jedi have felt her arrival through the force already? If not, Eli resolves that issue by sending Kanan a text with:

Hera is here. I'm with her right now.

It's a bit of a strange feeling, Kanan has to admit, when one moment there's an empty space where someone should be, where they used to be - and then, suddenly, it's filled again. The hole in the Force that belongs to Hera and Hera alone, that he uses to ground himself to, that's been unoccupied now for some time - suddenly, that missing piece has returned, and Kanan drops what he's doing, to seek it out.

By the time he receives the text message from Vanto, he's already well on his way. He responds quickly, stating as much, and sure enough, within ten minutes, he's rounding a corner, moving faster than a blind man probably should.

"Hera!" is, of course, the first word out of his mouth, he hadn't even bothered with his mask, and his expression is full of worry.

Bodhi had got the text from Kanan and left almost immediately -- even going as far to fly, as a bird to the house he shared with Hera. When she appears to let him in, he smiles, nods, noting her injuries as he follows her inside. "Fine, I'm fine. It's been a bit of a month, but things have settled a bit." Jyn returning, for one thing.

He knew that Hera had been sent back, but well -- obviously she was back. And not entirely well. "What happened?"

"Crashed back home. Didn't have time for it to be fixed before I ended up back here." Her eyes flicker back to the other room, and her voice drops slightly.
"I haven't told Kanan all the details. It was my attack on Lothal. It... It didn't end well."

Her entire squadron, killed in action or captured. Only Mart and Chopper managing to escape as far as she knew.

"Broke my arm in the crash."

"It's fortunate, then." Bodhi says, and regrets it immediately, following it up: "That you weren't injured more than you were - I mean. Sounds like it was pretty harrowing." He doesn't know Hera all that well - Kanan slightly more as they'd talked while she was away. Bodhi knows they worked together, and were very close, fighting the Empire together.

He may not know her well, but anyone fighting the Empire was alright in his book.

And he remembers Saw Gerrera and his partisans... make that almost anyone fighting them.

"Can I see?" He holds out his hand, asking for permission before anything - it's generally a good idea to get an idea of the kind of damage or break before starting the healing.

"It was... an adventure. But any landing you can walk away from..." Besides, she doesn't crash, she just has really exciting landings! All the same, she's grateful for Bodhi's help. Glad to see another face who, in another life, may have fought by her side against the Empire.

She holds out her arm, wincing with the movement.

"I think it's just fractured. I can still move it well enough, still shoot with it. Fought off Thrawn's assassin, too. Still, hurts like blaster shot." She grimaces, rolling up her sleeve to expose the bruised forest-green and vivid yellow bruising around her upper arm.

Edited 2018-02-20 19:40 (UTC)

"I thought you said it was a crash, a moment ago." Bodhi smiles, gently taking her wrist and studying the injury, holding back a wince of his own at the molted bruising.

Fractured, doesn't seem to be broken, at least. It won't be difficult to heal.

He raises his eyes at that. "I don't think he's got any of those here. Fortunately. So um. I'm gonna heal it, partially and then I take the rest of the wound myself? It's not permanent, but I figured I should let you know beforehand. Since everyone seems to react badly to me doing that." Both Cassian and Poe had objected to it, but their injuries had been markedly worse than this. "It'll tingle, but it shouldn't hurt. Ready?"

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God Knows I Am Dissonance

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Sorry about how late this tag is and how it's written. Racing thoughts and disorientation are a bitc

you're golden, ty for the lovely tag!

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sorry this is super late!!!

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