maskormenacelogs | [closed to Leia Organa]

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[closed to Leia Organa]

WHO: Kylo 'My Grandad could force-choke your grandad' Ren and his mom
WHERE: A grocery store
WHEN: Backdated to before the Porter got broken
WHAT: Kylo Ren vs The Automated Checkout
WARNINGS: It's Kylo Ren

If you are force-sensitive, you can feel it. A prickling in the air, a hum of static, a building pressure. There is a battle, waiting to be fought. A conflict that cannot be avoided.

It is late afternoon, and the grocery store is alive with activity. Students, filling up on instant noodles and various nutrition-lacking snack foods. Children, dedicated as ever to the task of poking their thumbs into each and every bread roll. A young man, frozen in place as he tries to calculate the cost per ounce between a hundred varieties of washing powder. At the end of Aisle 5, an employee grumbles irritably to herself as she re-organises the yogurts for the eighth time this hour alone. A baby screams. A man argues over an out-of-date coupon.

And Kylo Ren approaches the self-checkout.

It begins innocently enough. The instructions are simple- and it's easy enough to follow them. He scans, places the item in the bag, and moves onto the next. But the peace cannot last.

There is an unexpected item in the bagging area.

Kylo Ren frowns. He removes the box of Weet-i-crunch. He replaces it.

The unexpected item remains.

No matter how he nudges, no matter how many times he attempts to lift and reposition the Weet-i-crunch, the self-checkout machine will not be placated. The frustration builds and builds, rage welling up through the cracks in his self control- and finally, he can take no more.
With a guttural cry of fury, Kylo Ren seizes his lightsaber and ignites it, launching himself at the infernal machine.

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This isn't something you see every day at a grocery store, one of the most tedious places to be for those that work it and one of the most frustrating places to be for those who can't handle slight aggravations. For some...the beginning of this raging tantrum can prove entertaining and give them something to talk about over coffee break in the back room for years. It isn't your typical Saturday morning, folks, that's for sure.

The sudden hum of a lightsaber igniting isn't what draws her over. It's the sensation of something cold on the back of her neck and trailing down her spine that disrupts her browse through the pasta aisle. At first Leia wants to think nothing of it; there are so many Jedi around that this feeling is nothing out of the ordinary. She's always tuned in to the Force now. It should be no different.

Ah, but the closer she ventures to where the tills are located, the stronger that sensation gets, and it's annoyed, quick to build into something that cannot be contained. What could it be? Who? So familiar and yet not.

The cry unexpectedly cuts through the air, just in time for her to turn out of the aisle. Leia sees the bright red glow, hears the crackle in the blade. She's stunned as she stands there tightly gripping her basket, not hearing the startled screams of innocent customers, only seeing sparks fly, seeing the reds and oranges of metal searing hot and melted.

Whoever the hell this guy is, he's scaring the customers away. There are childre here!

"Hey, you--"

Rest in pieces, self check-out. You were well known and all your hard work was appreciated.

"Hey!"

At that shout, Kylo turns, abruptly- saber still crackling menacingly in his hand. He doesn't see her at first, the fresh eruption of rage still cooling.

Behind him, the pile of rubble that was once an automated checkout splutters sparks. Angry red gashes glow. A curl of smoke floats towards the ceiling.
Quite clearly, the self-checkout machine has checked out for the last time.

Ren scans the crowd. Something is tugging at him, something...
And he sees her face.
He can't breathe. His grip is so tight on the hilt of his saber it threatens to break as he stares at her, so much younger but still-- undeniably, his mother.

Their eyes meet and Leia's frozen to the spot. He's tall, as tall as Han if not taller. It's hard to tell, everyone is tall to her. It isn't so much his height and build that's intimidating, it's what she feels coming off of him. So much anger; she's touched on it herself before, many times.

Oh right. There are scared people around, she should try to do damage control. Where's her voice?

Leia clears her throat before she feels she can finally speak. "Turn off your lightsaber. Please."

He almost refuses just because he's been told to-- asked to. But he's finished punishing the machine and he's in no mood to start slaughtering civilians, let alone his mother-
So he extinguishes the fiery blade.

It's tempting to simply stalk out without a word, but he's no coward. Facing this younger duplicate of his mother has always been inevitable.
He just wishes he'd had more time to prepare.

It's now like a stand off where they stare at one another. She doesn't look away, jaw setting the longer they stand there facing each other.

"What you just did was completely unnecessary. I hope you realise that."

"I had so missed our conversations," he grinds out, the irritation in his voice completely at odds with the wild pounding of his heart.

Perhaps, he thinks, she doesn't recognise him.

It's possible. He's certain someone will have informed Leia Organa about her evil, treacherous son, but-- no. She knows. When he looks in her eyes, he knows she does.

She has an idea, Han had made the upsetting comment that their son had her eyes. Leia sees it.

"They're new for me so you'll have to forgive me if anything is amiss."

Although she's been told of what her future son and what he's done. Reminds her of...

"Were you hurt during..." she trails off to motion to the wreckage.

Edited 2017-12-05 18:41 (UTC)

He looks at her like she's sprouted a second head. Hurt? What does she think he is? He's the Jedi-killer. He's pretty sure he can handle one uppity self-checkout machine.

"No. Nobody was hurt," he says, his voice tight.

Belatedly, he thinks of his groceries. Come to think of it, that crunch under his feet is... decidedly Weet-i. Ugh.

Her eyes drop down to the mess. His groceries are everywhere, in pieces, diced and in shreds. Rest in peace.

"Would you like help then with your lost groceries?" she asks, gaze lifting back up to meet his.

A fight, he would have known how to handle. Sharp, barbed words. Accusations.
But his mother- the young woman who will be his mother- is trying to help.

He has no idea what he's supposed to do- and it shows.

"I- it's not important," he attempts, awkwardly looming over her.

"But destroying one of the store's machines was." An off-hand comment, her brow lifting.

Leia relaxes her muscles, tension easing, and she lowers her basket to her side.

"Do you remember what you were going to purchase?"

"I think you might be less pleased with the alternative," he mutters. It's a small act of rebellion, because yes, actually, a little mayhem and destruction had been very important- and while he doubts he could explain why even if he was inclined to, he's not about to let that eyebrow go unanswered.

"I just wanted my cereal. And some other- it doesn't matter. There's nothing I really need. I just thought it would be something to do. Grocery shopping."

He mentions cereal and Leia glances down at her basket. His looming makes her uncomfortable but it's because of his height. Reminds her too much of Han and even Anakin. She's kind of not talking to either.

"This?" Lo and behold, Leia pulls out a box of Weet-i-crunch. She holds it out for him as she takes a step closer.

Like mother like son okay.

He looks down at her hand and--
It's a kriffing box of cereal. That's all it is. But his throat is closing up and he can't--
He doesn't say anything. What is there to say? She's his mother. This woman he has never met, that he has never hurt or been hurt by, is his mother.
He doesn't raise his eyes.

He accepts the Weet-i-crunch mutely, his grip on the box just a little too tight.

He's quiet and so Leia's quiet. She looks up at him and watches on in silence, letting it drag on between them, studying him. After a moment, hearing the way the box strains in his grip, she reaches her hand to rest over his.

"Easy... Unless you want to have to walk all the way back to aisle eight and get a fresh box, relax your grip."

He wets his lips. Breathes. His gloves creak slightly as he slowly loosens his hold, just enough.

Snoke, his task, everything he's done- it's a galaxy away, but the tearing, searing pain is right where it's always been, and she-- she knows nothing of it. He'd never been able to make her understand.
Perhaps he didn't really want her to.
In any case he can't stand here any longer, hating himself for being so desperate to show her a son she could accept and the truth at the same time.

"I should pay for this," he says stiffly, glancing at the wreckage of his previous attempt to leave the store with his cereal. No-one's attempting to clean up the mess just yet. "...a cashier this time."

"You don't have to pay. Food is free." How peculiar. Leia looks again at the box of delicious weet-i-crunch and off to where the tills are. "Were you not told this when you arrived?"

There's something coming off of him, she can sense it, but she just can't figure it out.

He frowns.
Feels ridiculous. Shame settles on him like a thick, damp blanket.

"I-"

He'd ripped his dossier apart on arrival, and since then had been almost entirely reliant on Hux and Eli. It's not something he wants to admit to this woman. His mother.

"I don't usually do... this," he settles on, eventually. "I didn't know. I thought... we were supposed to buy what we needed with the money we... earn."

"That's usually what we would do, yes." Leia smiled a gentle smile, tipping her head forward to peer up at him. "If it helps, I'm just as new to this as you are."

He swallows. "So we just... walk out?"

He doesn't seem particularly convinced, glancing down at the cereal box in his hand. This entire adventure is... much more of an ordeal than he had originally envisioned.

"I take my items to the cashier like anyone else and they will ring it through. I believe it has something to do with where you stand with the government. Or..." Her basket is placed at the crook of her elbow and she eases back her sleeve to show him where her tattoo would be, which is invisible. "You can't see the tattoo in the light, it only shows when it's dark. Maybe it has to do with how we're registered."

Still seems like a messed up way to keep track of everyone; it tells her that the freedom they're granted is there, but it's limited. That doesn't sit well, and yet the government isn't outright being oppressive.

Edited 2017-12-11 01:15 (UTC)

"I'm not registered," Kylo says awkwardly- because he's trapped, now. He's having a Conversation with his mother, and he can't disengage.

He wets his lips. Out of the corner of his eye he sees some store employees hurriedly tidying up his mess. Well. At least it doesn't look like anyone's going to confront him about it.

"I'm keeping my options open."

"There's nothing wrong with that. I find it's good to keep your options open for anything at any time."

Leia nods to the front of the store. "Do you have money? If you'd rather save it then I can put the cereal in with my groceries."

"Of course I--"

He cuts himself off irritably, watching the decidedly unamused store assistants scurry about with various cleaning supplies. And a fire extinguisher.

"Yes, I have money. Why-- why are you doing this? You know who I am. I know you do."

Leia goes quiet. She watches him as if studying him, her eyes lifted to the mop of dark hair on his head. Some part of her wants to try to reach out with the Force, to see if she can feel him in the way she feels Luke or anyone else who's part of it. Instead Leia lowers her gaze off to the side, thoughtful almost, and then lifts it again to meet his.

How unsettling is it to look into the eyes so like your own...

"You're a lot taller than I'd imagined. Or what I've seen," she begins. "Height is something you must get from your father. You sure don't get it from me," says the woman who's only five feet tall and has to tilt her head to look at the grown boy who looms over her.

"Your hair also isn't as curly. Ben."

He stiffens slightly.

"If you know all that, then you already know that isn't my name," he tells her, the steadiness in his voice entirely artificial. He's never missed his helmet more.

"Then what? Kylo? Or would you prefer Ren?" Too bad she can't fold her arms, basket in hand.

He stares at her, unwilling to be drawn into this argument. She knows his name. That's why she used the other.

"Perhaps you should take this, after all," he says, holding out the cereal box. "I can find my own."

Leia doesn't even glance at the box of cereal. She keeps her attention intently on him. So many questions, she needs answers.

"Keep it," she answers after another long pause. "Isn't that what mothers do, they provide for their children?"

Tightening her grip on the basket, she then adds, "Or did I not provide enough? Why? Why did you do it? Why did you stray from the light?"

He looks down at his hands, a tremble beginning in his shoulders. He can't do this. He can't.

I didn't, he wants to scream. It left me.

But he doesn't.

"What would you like to hear?" He asks, his voice taut. Strained. "Would you like it to be your fault? Or mine. His. Destiny. Inevitable since the beginning. Which would satisfy you?"

The trembling she can see in those shoulders, she's cautious now. He has a lightsaber, he doesn't have a good enough grasp of the dark power in his blood, the same blood running through her. She's seen what he would do if he lost control in a rage. But Leia's not afraid, only Palpatine was ever able to truly frighten her.

"I want to know the truth," she replies, and she's surprisingly calm. "But if you strayed then the fault lies with no one but me. Somewhere, somehow, I had to have failed you. I'm sorry."

Edited 2017-12-16 21:58 (UTC)

"I didn't stray," Kylo tells her, looking straight into her eyes. Forcing himself to hold her gaze even as it tears him apart. "I didn't. This--"

He pauses, an arm stretching out towards the still-smoking ruin of the self-checkout.

"--this is what I am. What I have always been. I am Kylo Ren. Ben Solo was nothing more than a lie I told you. To protect you from the truth. To keep- to keep you. You don't see it, now. But you will. You all will."

"To keep me? Where would I go?" It's everyone else who abandon her— Luke disappears without a trace and Han... Han no doubt ends up tired of it all. Of the Rebellion, of how the war continues after Palpatine's fall. Everything they'd worked so hard and fought for, it was for nothing.

"Ben Solo is the name we gave to you. It wasn't some lie that you told us."

"I tried," he says, his lip beginning to tremble despite his best efforts. "I gave everything I had to be what you wanted. You don't-- you don't know how hard I tried. To be your son."

He swallows, glancing around him, clutching the cereal box.

"I have to go. Not this. Not here."

When he glances away she moves to touch his arm again, the arm holding the cereal. It's a risk but it's also an opportunity. Leia tries then to reach out through the Force, to try to somehow ease the pain and conflict going through him.

"You don't need to try, Ben, you are my son. No matter what you think. No matter what anyone tells you."

"Don't!"

The response is immediate- he recoils instinctively - as if he's been burned - though his tone softens from the sharp, desperate snap as he chokes out an attempt at something less violent.

"Please. Don't. Don't."

With every kindness, every time she reaches out for him the pain at his very core only twists in deeper- it's agony.
He practically staggers back from her, all thoughts of bravery and confronting his past vanished. He needs to escape.
Now.

Her reaction is as immediate as his— Leia draws her hand away and holds it up, any connection through the Force snuffed out, her eyes widened. "Alright." Quick reassurance. "Alright. I'm sorry."

If only she had some idea what exactly it was that tormented him so. Was it really because he'd felt he had to prove himself worthy of being her son? Why? Leia can't imagine why or what had caused that, in the years to come.

"Don't follow me," he says tightly, his heart pounding.

And that's it. There are no other thoughts or considerations in his mind as he turns to leave, not noticing or caring that after all this ordeal he still hasn't paid for his cereal.

It hardly seems likely to matter- no-one is likely to challenge Kylo Ren as he strides towards the exit with that particular look on his face.

Leia is left to stand and stare after him. Even after he's disappeared, she's still staring.

Her first instinct is to pull out her communicator and call Han or even Luke, possibly Poe. But why? Han would be a terrible choice as he'd thought it was such a great idea to keep the knowledge of their son's arrival from her in the first place. As for the other two, what would calling them do when they were up in space?

She sighs and eventually moves to the tills. Standing around in a bit of a daze isn't going to help her any. Her items are rung through and she makes sure to mention the (1) box of weet-i-crunch that had left the store with Kylo; that will go under her name, a lame attempt to make up for the mess.

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[closed to Leia Organa]

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The heck

dreamwidth can't handle this thread

Too much of a rollercoaster

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