maskormenacelogs | Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

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Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

WHO: Eddison "Dolorous Edd" and YOU you poor sad sacks of shit (especially De Chima 008 housemates)
WHERE: Heropa and then eventually De Chima
WHEN: September 8 - 10
WHAT: Dolorous Edd arrives and eventually heads to his De Chima 006 housing.
WARNINGS: Probably mentioning typical horribleness associated with Game of Thrones, since Edd is always a butt monkey.

HEROPA

Edd never been to Dorne - in fact, the furthest south he has ever been to is the Vale, and he's certain Dorne's summers make it like a cool breeze compared to the blasting, sweltering heat in Heropa. It probably doesn't help that Edd was wearing his Night's Watch Commander cloak and the usual fare a brother of the Night's Watch would be wearing.

What made his uncomfortable state even more uncomfortable is that he had a cloud following him around. It's no normal cloud - it hovered over his head like perhaps twelve feet above him, perhaps less, and it's constantly rained on him. No matter where he went - whether it's inside what looked like a tavern, or something that looked a little like a sept - the damn cloud followed him, pissing on him like an incessant dog. It took a native for to have a little pity on Edd and gave him an "umbrella" - some kind of fabric contraption that led him to have some kind of shelter from the cloud piss while he walks around.

The gods of this world piss on me as well, Edd thinks. He never been a good observer of the gods back home, but he felt a little queer about the idea of being a world where there's no Wall, no Seven Kingdoms or Essos or what other miserable countries. And no Edd, until he showed up, with what his luck that is.

He can't stand the heat. He knows he was given an assigned housing in a city of De Chima, but he's not sure how to really get there. He's told the best way to get to De Chima was the "Porter" but . . .

...well, here is Edd: A sad man holding up an umbrella trying to block the rain of a too-close tiny raincloud, wearing clothes not at all suitable for Heropa's warm weather and a sheathed sword to boot, and just outside of the Porter building. He looks at it like one would look at a serpent: not entirely sure if the snake would bite him, but boy, he doesn't want to find out.

DE CHIMA

in the streets

And when he stopped being chickenshit about the Porter - seven hells, he didn't like it at all - he steps off and gone to find his housing.

It took nearly all day, because he kept getting mobbed by the damn people. Asking him how he's a hero, or how recently he got here. It's overwhelming, and frankly he almost ran for his life when he found a way to duck into some alley.

He took so many roundabouts around the people he got lost not once, but twice, and the damn cloud keeps dogging him. Truly frustrated, he took out the piece or parchment that told him how to get rid of it. At first he didn't believe it but then with the damn cloud keep following him, he admitted that perhaps it is best to follow the instructions.

Even if it made him feel ridiculous. He clapped his hands at the cloud like one would to a dog said, "That's good! Go on!"

And just like that, the bloody cloud stopped raining on him and hovered away, content.

semi-closed to De Chima 008 housemates and their CR

With the bloody raincloud out of the way, Edd was able to go to his assigned housing. DE CHIMA 008 did the parchment (unnaturally square and blinding white) wrote out. He took the key and unlocked the door.

The place was unnatural, as all places are in this odd country. It was perfectly square, but not. There's furniture Edd recognize, but all looked alien to Edd, who was used to the bare wood and stone of Castle Black.

He went to the kitchen first and learned for the first time what a refrigerator was. The oven itself seemed a little like the ovens at the Castle Black, but there were no logs to burn inside of them. He opened the cabinets and saw various foodstuffs. He found something to eat - something called a summer sausage, which was . . . okay, he doesn't know what that means, but he's going to eat it anyway. Further more exploring led him to find what looked like tin cans, with tiny words at the bottom saying "America's Best Beer!"

Ripping through the transparent wrapping, he sat down while trying to open the damn beer can. After several tries and pinched fingers later, he figured out how to open it. Sitting down at a table in the kitchen, the hungry Lord Commander of the Night's Watch began to ate his sausage and beer, looking up to see he wasn't alone.

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It was Ghost that sensed Edd first, charging down the sidewalk and past the usual group of admirers. As often happened, the crowd parted, surprised by the size and wildness of the wolf that looked up at Edd as if he were a member of his pack. A figure followed after, dressed in the clothes normal of this world, jeans and a black shirt. There were a few exclamations, some of the admirers turning towards Jon, but were ignored as he gestured for Edd to follow him.

"Gods, the natives are restless today." He smiled, rare for Jon Snow but genuine at the sight of his friend. He pulled Edd into a hug before stepping back. "It's good to see you. Did you just arrive?"

It's a strange moment when Edd is relieved to see an overlarge white wolf with teeth that can rip his head off coming towards him - but then again, Edd lived through stranger moments (hurrah) and he knows exactly what that wolf is . . . and more importantly, who that wolf belongs too.

Plus, Ghost's presence means people are not going to crowd around them, thank the gods.

Used to seeing Jon in typical winter clothes, Edd almost didn't recognize Jon until he heard the lad speak - gods, he looked smaller than usual - and pulled him into a hug.

"Aye, just now. Men showed me some parchment and showed me how to use the Porter. I don't like it - men aren't meant to move that fast."

"You grow used to it." Except not really. There were still moments where he didn't like using the porter, but not more than the times he was forced to use cabs or other cars. With so many other things to take his focus in this city, it all ended up falling by the wayside.

It was a relief to see Edd, his brother and the only other person who had seen the coming threat. A weight was lifted, a small one, but a weight regardless. "What do you remember?" It was a strange question, he knew. "I don't know if they explained. Time is different here. Everyone has differing memories and can be pulled from different points in our lives. Robb is only a boy and Sansa doesn't remember reclaiming Winterfell."

This is the strangest question Edd had ever given, and that's included, "Do you want the gates closed Lord Commander?" Gods. He needs a good drink, but he can't trust the ale from this world. Edd's worst nightmare - when he start missing the ale from the Night's Watch.

"I was at the Wall. I heard the news of your crowning as King of the North. Two stragglers, north of the Wall, came to the gate. They were dressed as wildlings, but the girl said she was Meera from House Reed. The other one said he was Bran from House Stark. I didn't see a direwolf with them - " And Stark children can be identified by wolves. Usually. " - But the boy was being pulled by a sled." Which means he's a cripple, like Bran was reported to be. The only clincher is not what further proof of what they said they are, but what they confirmed they know - the Fist of The First Men, of Hardhome. "We let them in all the same."

How can Edd not to let them in after that? Let them become the dead?

Edd looked around, still hot in his Lord Commander's garb, people still milling around, holding up some flat square things that flash light at them.

"What the seven hells are they doing?"

Small things should not be flashing lights, Edd opined.

Edited 2017-09-12 02:14 (UTC)

That sounded right. "Bran arrived in Winterfell a few months ago and was sending reports to me about the Others' movements. I don't know where Meera of House Reed went, I think she returned home." But it didn't seem important to mention in the issive. It was a relief at least to know his brother hadn't been alone. "There is only Ghost left among the pack." Which was a tragedy, but one he wouldn't linger on. His siblings were alive at least, House Stark was still standing.

Jon noticed the phones and cameras and gave an annoyed sigh. "It is some sort of device that takes our portraits in seconds." Don't ask him to explain, he honestly can't. He only knows what it does and that it frustrates him. "I know somewhere we can have a drink and not be mobbed."

There were things he wanted to share with Edd as it was.

"Daenerys of House Targaryen pledged her dragons and armies in the war against the dead."

Edd scratched the tip of his nose. He suppose the lad would know about the Others' movements, would he? Damnest thing, knowing about Hardhome and the Fist of the First Men, though. Having someone like that would be handy earlier, but ah well. He let Jon to lead the way to whatever - wherever - watering hole where Jon and Edd can have their conversation in peace. He followed Jon in step, eyes squinting at the portrait-stealers as both men walked away.

Of course, of all the news from the rest of Westeros, this was most surprising. The Mad Queen's daughter, in alliance with House Stark? "That would make things warmer," Edd replied drolly. He remembered how the dead were vulnerable to fire. "But how did that come about? Begging your pardon, but Starks and Targaryens didn't have much of a good history lately."

It was hard to say how Bran knew all of this, but he trusted his brother and knew him not to be a liar. If that was what he had seen, it was enough to begin mustering men and preparing for the invasion. Of course, that was all put on hold so long as they were in De Chima. It made him restless, knowing that a fight was to come but unable to do anything to prepare. None would remember this experience when they returned home, if they returned home. It wasn't something he wanted to linger over.

Gods, but he had needed one of his brothers to confess everything on his mind. Once they were safely in a bar, seated at a table away from everyone else could he find the words to begin. "Sam wrote to me about a collection of Dragonglass underneath Dragonstone. Daenerys had arrived there shortly before and summoned me to bend the knee. I traveled south to seek an alliance and to mine Dragonglass." Everything that followed afterwards was hard to explain. Feelings changed, motives changed. "She agreed to help us...after a time. It wasn't an easy alliance to reach and it cost a great deal."

Well. That's a welcoming development, although Edd has to wonder how high the cost really was. And he's afraid to ask. He sat down and ordered whatever Jon was ordered, taking his lead as Edd always do.

"Well, if you managed to get the Targaryen queen to help, did you managed to convince the Lannister queen not to wage war as well?" Edd too received the notice of a change of the tushes that sit on the iron chair.

"Aye, we did." Which still seemed an impossible feat, even after having seen it. "We were nearly fucked." All because he saw no reason to lie. It wasn't a way he wanted to live and he didn't want to break his vows, not again.

"We had to prove to her first that the dead were real. We went beyond the Wall and found one of the dead, brought him to the Dragonpit to show her." Gave her a good scare as well. For as honest and focused as he tried to be, there was a selfish part of him that was glad for to scare her.

"She was convinced, but wouldn't fight unless I said I would take no sides in her war with Daenerys once the dead were gone." He looked up at Edd sheepishly, as he often did when he made some mistake or another. "I couldn't give her that promise."

Edd let out a long sigh and a heavy swing of his beer.

"So if you couldn't convince her of that, then I suppose the dead man convinced her?"

Snarly, ugly thing, he bet. He wondered what the Kingslayer thought of it. Edd heard the stories about him - as conniving as any other Lannister.

"I thought the Kingslayer was going to piss himself at the sight." For however much he wanted and needed Lannister aid, there was no denying that it felt good to be the one with the stronger foothold above them. He knew how to stop the dead, he knew the threat, now so did they. "A lot was lost to convince them, but they promised to send men."

Now it wouldn't be a simple band of the Night's Watch, fearful and waiting for a fight they couldn't win. They were all in it, together.

"I have a room at my farmhouse if you want a place to stay away from the city."

"Wish I was there to see it." Edd screamed like a ninny when he saw those dead folk fall over the cliffside and just got themselves up like it was a mere stumble. He hoped the KIngslayer screamed like Edd did.

"Thank you, Jon. I appreciate the offer. I'm told I have a place here who already lived inside, so I want to see if they are miserable as I am."

Spoiler alert: they won't, but they are a bunch of pissy little lordlings.

"You would have seen me near ruin it all." He huffed, taking a long drink of his ale. He was starting to grow used to it being cold, even if it never really tasted the same as Westerosi ale. "We were almost fucked because of me."

He smiled and nodded, "I only hope that you have better rooms than I did. I had the Kingslayer a few doors down. It didn't last long. I received a home from the city soon after. I didn't have to see him, expect when crossed paths on the street."

Edd at least had a talent for putting up with pissy little lordlings, as Jon was little else when he first arrived at the Wall.

He paused as he heard the sounds of someone in the kitchen. He had thought he was home alone and had been taking advantage of the quiet by getting some reading done. Ren had been oddly absent of late so they had a few things to discuss. He was dressed rather casually since he had been spending the day at home, wearing loose black pants and a gray t-shirt but nonetheless everything about his appearance was neat, nothing out of place.

"Ren, if that's you we have a few things to go ov-" he stopped as he entered the kitchen but paused in the doorway when he saw a stranger sitting at the dining room table. He looked at the stranger for a moment, not bothering to hide how unimpressed he was.

It seemed they have another housemate and this one looked like they weren't familiar with how civilization worked.

"Who-or what- are you?" he asked after a moment, the disdain clear in his voice. "It seems you've made yourself at home, I assume you've been assigned to live here then?"

Edd was not a handsome man. Long hair, shabby beard, and slightly balding face with crows feet in his eyes and just a miserable face. Combined that with the overlarge black fur-lined coat that is typical Lord Commander's fare. The man's face says plainly, 'Oh, what's the next worst thing? Let it come at me, I'm good with that, that's my life.' He's a hard man from a hard time and hard place, and while certainly not grizzled like Jeor Mormont, his plain face made no real reaction to the disdain in the man's voice, though that was hard, and he did his best to keep his mouth shut - if that was that man in the strange uniform was speaking true, then anyone came from any world, where impossible was possible, and what he's speaking to might not be fully human.

Edd sucked at his teeth as he evaluated his roommate. "Aye," he acknowledged. Normally he would introduce himself as just Edd, but he knew exactly what kind of man he was dealing with. Some lord's son - there are plenty of displaced second trueborn sons of the Night's Watch who wrinkle their noses at the likes of Jon Snow or Edd or Grenn as they work their way up their station. Usually they grew wise or become dead. Usually. Titles do mean something to these little lordlings, and Edd had a little. "Lord Commander Eddison Tollett, of the Night's Watch." Not that there's a Wall to hold here. His voice was dour as he leaned back from his meager meal, back leaning against the chair. "And you are, my lord . . .?"

Of course, a secondborn son wouldn't be a lord, but it made them feel better to call them as such.

Edited 2017-09-12 14:46 (UTC)

He may not be in uniform but he was still offended by being referred to with a noble title, frowning. He had worked hard to gain his rank, especially at such a young age. But no one had mistaken him for a mere junior officer in a long while and certainly, no one would again after what happened to the Hosnian planets.

"Since you want to use titles then you will address me as General Hux then," he said as he moved to fill the coffee maker with water from the sink. It was early evening but he operated on little sleep as it was so he wasn't concerned.

"I'm not sure what passes for civilization where you're from but here we have certain rules that are not up for negotiation. I don't want to be disturbed and you will stay out of things that don't belong to you. Also, I trust you can handle cleaning up after yourself, I'm not a service droid," he said as he started the coffee maker.

Edd didn't say anything. Not at first, anyway. Little upstart this little bugger was - he looked barely older than Jon, and Jon was young enough to make Edd to feel old and worn down, but that's how Jon made everybody feel, really. Or to Edd, but Edd was easily tired, and feel the pressure of life like an unwanted woman's bosom pressing into his face. This man looked like who never liked women, or anything, really.

"Who else lives here?" Edd asked, taking a swing of his beer, tasting awfully . . . light. And nothing terrible, it's just that Edd was used to the swill back in Castle Black.

"I'm sure you'll be able to figure that out for yourself." If he thought Hux was going to be helpful he was very mistaken. Kylo Ren was a great surprise to spring on someone and it was rather boring here most days. Force-choking always livened things up.

"I suspect your civilization may be primitive but I'm not here to hold your hand or help you figure things out," he commented as he poured himself a cup of coffee, not bothering to offer any to Edd as he emptied the pot.

Ah. Now Edd realized - the young man starkly reminded Edd of Allison Thorne. The two would get along wonderfully, although he had to wonder what posses a father to name his son Hux. It sounds too closely to husk - and the fellow seemed a rather empty man.

"I live for surprises." And no matter - after discovering there are dead men trying to be Edd's interloping neighbors, nothing else can be more terrible than that. Although it was his luck that he had a sour man for a roommate. Perhaps Edd should move.

On second thought -

"Best not to hold my hand. The gods here have found delight to piss on me. No matter where I go, there's always a steady stream. Better for you to keep your distance."

His powers, Hux. He's talking about his powers.

"I have no intention of holding your hand."

Hux paused, wrinkling his nose at Edd's words. He had no intention of warning Ren of their new housemate either, he needed some sort of entertainment here.

He was glad he was standing some distance, moving away to find something in the fridge.

"Well, that is an....interesting ability the porter has given you," he said after a moment but his expression clearly showed his distaste. "You're still cleaning up after yourself, I don't want to see or smell your particular ability."

And now Edd felt a lot more comfortable than he was five seconds ago. Perhaps he realized he didn't have to put on a Lord Commander presence when there was no Wall to old, or the little lordling's attitude made him think of his good times at the Wall (which was saying much) before he was a Lord Commander and was a simple ranger, shoving pig shit in a bastard's hovel.

Seeing him react to Edd's words, however - well. Better to keep his distance, that's all Edd had to say. Edd had the worst kind of luck . . .

"Best of luck with you. Hope yours is better than mine. I always see the things I never wanted to see or smell, and I never get to see what I want or smell."

And with that, he's back to his beer and summer sausage.

Edited (bad icon he never shouts at people!!) 2017-09-24 02:06 (UTC)

The best way for Robb to keep a crowd out of his way is taking Grey Wind with him. Once he had not minded the attention or the questions. He had been curious and enthusiastic. He had told them stories of his home and the heroes he knew of. But the Robb that returned was silent, distant and everything but enthusiastic.

Not even the appearance of a man yelling at a small raincloud as if it is some sort of dog makes the frown on Robb's face disappear. He just gazes at it and wonders if such a thing would be a useful power to have.

"Is that the gift they have given you, ser? A personal rain cloud?"

"Aye," Edd complained, not even looking at Robb, thinking of him as perhaps another native. "They gave me a floating fluffy cloud that follows me around to piss on me. The gods here piss on me as much as gods did back home."

And that's when Edd turned around and see the young lad . . . and a giant direwolf.

Edd frowned. The only direwolf he knew of was Ghost. And that's not Ghost. Belatedly, Edd recalled that the lad called him a "ser". Which ... uh. Edd didn't have a good retort for that. "And who are you?" Edd inquired, as politely as his hoarse voice can ever be.

“Mayhaps you should pray a little more. Gods are fond of prayers,” Robb answers with a hint of amusement in his voice. It truly is quite a hilarious power to have. A personal raincloud. Still, he would take a raincloud over warging any day.

When the man starts to gaze at him he blinks a couple of times.

“My name is Robb,” he answers softly. It is quite relaxing to be just Robb instead or King Robb First Of His Name And Some Titles. He likes to be just Robb. “And yours?”

"Not of my prayers," Edd complained, waggling his wet clock to free more water droplets.

And then he realized oh - well. That' just another thing, is it?

"Robb Stark?" He nodded to Robb's direwolf. The lad looked . . . alive. Somehow.

Perhaps Edd did die on his Watch, that would be his luck.

"I'm Edd Tollett. I am a brother of the Night's Watch, and acting Lord Commander."

Edited (I forgot a thing!!!) 2017-09-24 02:05 (UTC)

Well, Robb isn’t a very pious man either and shrugs his shoulders at Edd’s response, a small smile playing around his lips.

“Indeed.” He nods slowly, the smile disappearing as he speaks. “But that does not matter here...”

It is not surprising to hear that, apparently, this man came from Westeros as well. There seem to be more and more Westerosi each day and he hopes that they will not take the bloody war with them.

“Well met, Edd.” His voice sounds a little stiff and formal. “I never knew the old commander died.” A Mormont, he knew. “But that might be the difference of time between you and me.”

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Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

Streets

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de chima 008 (oh god he got put in the worst house)

well that is just typical

haha this going well

it always does - no i'm kidding, it won't

best friends already

definate besties

gonna need friendship bracelets

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De Chima

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