Bombshell and Fire Crotch: Men About B-Movies

[redhott]

WHO: Kyle Conlen redhott and Magnus Chase fehus
WHERE: Nonah 5
WHEN: Some weekend in Sept
WHAT: Two nerds get together to nerd it up!
WARNINGS:

[ This is totally not a date, but that doesn't mean he can't impress Magnus as much as possible. It makes Kyle feel good, so everyone can just shut up. When there's only one person officially living in the house it stays pretty clean, but Kyle goes the extra mile to get any dust off the shelves and to clean the sheets in case Magnus wants to spend the night. Not likely, but you never know. The option is there, so is the couch.

But the best display is the stack of DVDs he's got by the television, along with soda and finger food for any movies they may watch. It's perfect! And completely over the top, but friends are worth it! Especially if they are handsome blonds that are also abominations. ]

Comments

[fehus]

[Magnus, the handsome blond abomination in question, shows up a bit later than agreed on. there was a bit of a mix-up with the food order, and while he'd normally take whatever -- he's not a fussy eater, or really even very discerning about it to the point that it actually might be a character flaw -- he, also, wanted to have things Just Right. while it's a little uncharacteristic of him, he would like to impress his new friend a bit, too; it's been a long time, since Magnus did something so utterly normal as go to someone's house for a movies-and-games night]

[and yeah, sure, Kyle's a prince of hell. whatever, he's a prince of elves. neither has to mean anything other than what it says on the tin. what he'd said to Kyle on the phone -- we can just be two dudes -- is very much the mindframe he's arriving with, toting a heavy paperbag in one hand, his Homeless Kid backpack with the few things he owns in it slung over his shoulder. okay, that was a little less normal, but it was really normal for him, anyway. it probably just looked like he was planning on staying over]

[ding dong, ya ding dong -- Magnus is ringing the doorbell to Nonah 5]

[redhott]

[ Yaaaay! Kyle is ready to pop up and open the door. It doesn't go that perfectly, though. There's a loud thud, followed by Kyle cursing right up until he opens the door to let Magnus in. ]

Hey.

[ Play it cool, Conlen. Look hip and casual instead of the nervous spastic that you are. ]

[fehus]

[blows up your spot immediately (though at least he gives a wry smile about it);]

Hey. What was that?

[glancing back into the place to see What Had Happened]

[redhott]

[ Damnit, he's been caught! ]

Uhmm... [ Sheepishly, he follows Magnus' line of sight back into the house. ] The edge of the sofa... came out of nowhere and took me down. Yeah.

[fehus]

I can't really blame it, for the preemptive strike. It knows it's about to get crushed by some dude's asses.

[a beat, and then;]

Can I come in, or...?

[redhott]

[ That's probably true, actually. The amount of time Spooky and he sit there making out would make any inanimate object cultivate a seething grudge. ]

Oh! Duh, yeah of course.

[ He holds the door open behind him for Magnus. ]

Thanks for getting the food, man. You can put it on the coffee table in the living room. Want me to get you a soda?

[fehus]

Sure.

[he follows Kyle in, drops the bag on the table, his backpack next to the couch. looks around, contextualizing; how a person lives says a lot about them. he wonders what's uniquely "Kyle," about this place, and what's his roommates]

[should he have taken off his sneakers? uhhhhh whatever]

I hope you're starving. I went big.

[redhott]

[ It's fairly bare in terms of personal touches. Living in group homes for the majority of his life, Kyle has grown accustom to collecting very little to call his own. Things get broken, stolen, and sometimes you have to change homes too often to make a lot of knickknacks worth it.

It's clear that most of Kyle's love has gone into the entertainment center in the living room. ]

Yeah, I'm always hungry. Bring it on.

[fehus]

[and the entertainment centre is what Magnus' eyes will thus be drawn to, though Kyle's call for food takes precedence over scoping out his Sweet Set Up]

You asked for it. I went hot, for Hot Pants.

[it is very offensive how blase that statement is, coming out of his mouth; he pulls several boxes out of the paper bag with some deliberately understated showmanship, placing them neatly in a line. the boxes are colour coded; greens to yellows to oranges to reds to black]

These are from Dante's Inferno, my favourite wing place, and despite all the hype, I am willing to bet you only get to... about, here.

[he taps a yellow box, quite offensively, with a sly smirk curling at his lips]

[redhott]

Oh my God, why are you punishing me for the sins of my youth?!

[ Really, he was twelve! He didn't know any better! Hasn't he suffered enough for his past crimes? Kyle's narrowed eyes suggest he'll get Magnus back. Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually. ]

I'm secure enough in my masculinity to say, you're absolutely right. Should I get you some milk for your black box?

[ Hope you like some snap with your ginger, Magnus. ]

[fehus]

[Magnus laughs, feeling no mercy nor worry about the consequences of his actions, which is how you know a friendship is developing]

Come on, you have to at least try to get to Atomic Volcano, with a superhero name like that.

[he pops the first box open, settling down in a chair]

We'll do it together, one from each.

[redhott]

Fiiine. [ He slumps onto the couch, eyeing Magnus with a dirty look. ] This'll be the first time I literally crap fire.

[fehus]

[that gets a slightly wicked grin, as Magnus pulls various sauces out of the bag, scatters them across the table]

C'mon, where's the fire in your belly...?

[and he digs in from the first box, quickly followed by the second and third, because he is absolutely hungry. three down, Conlen, keep up]

So -- [a pause to chew, swallow, sip his soda] -- what are we watching first?

[redhott]

Oh it's there. It's always there, but there's a difference between heat and spicy, you know.

[ He takes the first one, the mildest one, and snaps the wing in half to get every bit of meat off the bones. ]

Mm, we can start with The Thing that Devoured the World. You ready for this? It's about a creature unearthed and somehow revived? and it terrorizes the world. Oh, and it's Swedish, so, you know. That'll be horrible.

[fehus]

[Magnus chokes a bit, seeming pretty low-key thrilled with that choice. he also appreciates Kyle's wing-eating skills]

That sounds like a bio-pic about me. Apart from the Swedish part, but like, even then. I'm ready for the horrible.

[he opens up the fourth box. getting into orange territory pretty quickly]

Okay. What's after that?

[redhott]

Oh really? You didn't strike me as an unearthed giant lizard monster. Huh. I'm usually better than that.

[ Kyle grabs a new wing and bites into it, suspicious, but ultimately pleased. So far so good! ]

Uhh, there's Buckets of Blood 3: The Undead are Back, and They're Pissed. I figured with a title that long it has to be gold.

[fehus]

Oh my gods. That's an amazing title and I trust your instincts completely.

[that title is glorious. so are the wings, and Magnus is quiet for a few minutes, the kind of determined quiet that teenagers get when there's a clear choice between eating and talking]

[after working his way to the sixth box (red. red hot, even);]

Feeling the heat yet, Backburner?

[redhott]

Haha, thanks!

[ Well la dee dah, Mister Demigod! Kyle is a mere mortal demon prince. Perhaps half human WHO CAN SAY! Not everyone can handle hotness so quickly. ]

Uhh, no, Sunshine McGhee, not yet. I'm hanging in there.

[fehus]

[Magnus snickers again, feeling shockingly normal and easy. hanging with Kyle is kind of great]

Sunshine McGhee was my father, please, call me Sunny.

[he's slowing down a bit now, but he's left room. he'll get to the end of these boxes, whether Kyle's on that wild ride with him or not]

lol should we assume the movie is running in the bg??

[redhott]

[ Kyle snorts. ]

Sunny it is.

[ Kyle's got the room, but not the will. His mouth starts burning when he gets to orange. And no matter how much he swallows, the sensation just won't leave him alone!! ]

Okay, but seriously, what is the point of food if it's physically painful?

I THOUGHT THIS WAS PRE-MOVIE... we can handwave the movie experience

[fehus]

[with sweetness that contrasts the burning in both their mouths;]

It's exciting.

[sloe-eyed and blank-faced as he usually is, Magnus is a bit of a thrill seeker; he likes high places and hot food]

OH GOOD CALL OK pre-movie yes

[redhott]

Is it?

[ DO YOU HEAR THE SARCASM?? Because Kyle does not believe you very much at all. But having said that, he isn't gonna stop. He's hungry and it looks like he has to defend his dignity for a little longer. So Kyle dives back in with a wince. ]

Ahhhh so hot. Hot, hot it's hot. Ow, ow, ow....

[ But he's doin' it! He's eatin' 'em!! ]

Re: OH GOOD CALL OK pre-movie yes

[fehus]

[that gets another laugh out of Magnus]

Do you want me to grab that milk for you...?

[it's a serious offer, even as his eyes glint a bit mischievously]

Sounds like you're gonna need it if you're gonna make a run at the Black Box.

[redhott]

[ He stares at Magnus, considering and slightly miserable. But eventually he breaks down with a huff. ]

Yes, please.

[fehus]

[softly snickering (that cold Norse heart of his again, clearly), Magnus gets up to pour Kyle some milk. it says something about the kind of person Kyle is, that he doesn't feel awkward about sort of helping himself to his kitchen -- usually, Magnus feels a bit odd in other peoples' houses, between a combination of not really living in one for more recent years than not, and being an apartment dweller before that. houses are strange, but Kyle's made him feel welcome]

[he returns with one (1) full glass of milk for Kyle, still looking smug. he's only got 2 boxes left to go, and pops the third to last open with a silent smile]

[redhott]

[ Yeah he sees that smug grin of yours, Magnus. Give him a second to chug half the glass and he'll get you back. It's not anything too terrible, but Kyle gives magnus a hard shove to knock that look off his stupid sexy face. ]

[fehus]

[Magnus' body goes with the tilt of the shove, like a bowling pin wobbling to one side, but it only makes his smug grin curl more at the corners. he doesn't even look at Kyle, eyes on his delicious, atomic prize]

Hm...? What's wrong, are you having a fit...? You forgot to say thank you.

[redhott]

Oh, right. [ Kyle swallows with the help of a little more milk. ] Yeah, thank you for burning off my taste buds, Sunny. I, like, totally appreciate the gifts you give me.

[fehus]

[Magnus tuts, such bad manners, and bites into his wing]

[by the time Magnus has gotten to the Black Box, his cheeks are a bright pink, eyes a little bright, but otherwise, he's fine. he hasn't even reached for the milk]

I'm about ready for monsters.

[he is a monster]

[redhott]

Yeah, me too.

[ YOU ARE A MONSTER, YES! Wiping his hands off on a few paper napkins, Kyle gets up to start the DVD. Then the lights are dimmed except for the kitchen's to give them the perfect mood. And, hey, maybe if it's dark, Magnus won't see Kyle totally not eating ever from the black wings. ]

So, they gonna start out with a terrible narration to get the audience up to speed in lieu of creating a plot on their own, or will they hop right into terribly dubbed dialogue?

[ He wants Magnus' expert opinion on the matter. ]